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NOMORESTALLING's Recent Blog Entries
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Thursday, September 08, 2011
You know exactly what to do and certainly why you should do it. But for all those who are stuck somewhere between "knowing" and "doing," Here is some advice from a few motivational coaches!
Alice Domar, PhD: Director of the Domar Center for Mind/Body Health and author of Be Happy Without Being Perfect
When you're trying to motivate yourself, appreciate the fact that you're even thinking about making a change. And as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough. Perfectionism can undo what you're trying to achieve. Look at the angst people have when they cut a workout a little short. Do they really think a few minutes less, one day, is going to make that much of a difference? Worse still is the "what-the-hell effect"�you eat one bad thing, then just give up.
Sabotage can also come from those around you, even your loved ones. (That may sound irrational, but in my experience, many spouses go through this.) It's threatening to people when you start making positive changes. If you're about to go on a diet, you might want to assure your husband, "This isn't because I want to be hotter and am going to leave you. I'm worried that if I don't lose weight, there will be health consequences." Use honest, loving, clear communication. You'll need all the support you can get.
Jim Loehr: CEO of the Human Performance Institute and author of The Power of Story: Rewrite Your Destiny in Business and in Life
To change a habit, the motivation has to begin with a deep and abiding sense of purpose, and your goal must fit into that big picture. So start by asking yourself, When all is said and done, what do I feel must happen for me to have lived a life of significance? Say it's that you want to be an extraordinary parent. If your challenge is exercise, then you can keep reminding yourself that you're not working out to be buff, you're doing it to be a great mother. You don't want to be short on energy; you don't want to come home exhausted. Once you get that connection to your ultimate mission, you have the holy grail of change.
Next ask what private voice you've been listening to�the one that keeps defeating you every time you try to reach a goal. What's the excuse it tells you? "I'm too tired to exercise"? "I don't have time"? Okay, but is that really true? What are you doing at 5:30 in the morning? Well, you're sleeping. If you really wanted to do this, you could engineer time. Identify this voice, challenge its faulty assumptions, and "out" it by getting it on paper. Once you sit back and read it, you'll see the negatives you've been letting run your life.
So what's the new story�the voice that is deeply connected to purpose, that makes you want to fight? We had a smoker who suddenly realized she went nine months during her pregnancy not touching a cigarette. She wasn't even tempted because she couldn't imagine hurting her unborn child. That story gave her strength. Think of yours as the epic of the great adventure in your life. Write it down and keep rereading it to retrain your mind.
Next comes the behavioral change. Design one to three rituals to help you get to your goal. For instance, if the goal is exercise, you're going to get up at 5:45 every other morning. Or when you want a cigarette, you'll take a drink of water instead or look at a picture of your daughter. It's always more successful to take an action (drink water) than to avoid one (not smoke).
As you put very specific rituals in place, keep going back to how it's connected to your being a successful human in the ultimate sense. Every day, fill out a log that says whether you did what you said you were going to do. We've researched this, and within 30 to 60 days, you will make it a habit. There's only one way that this will fail, and that's if you give up.
Randy Pausch: Professor of computer science, human-computer interaction, and design at Carnegie Mellon University; famous for giving "The Last Lecture" and for co-writing a book of the same title after a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer at age 45.
The reason to turn brick walls into motivating forces is that if we don't, they become excuses as to why we can't accomplish things. We can all do much more than we think, once we decide to do it.
It's very hard to find meaning in one's life. It's much easier to find "meaning in one's actions"�so look for someone who could use your help, and help them in any way you can. If your actions all have meaning, I suspect your life will begin to as well.
The one thing I wish we'd all think about right now�and forgive me for being mundane�is this: If you have kids, review your life insurance, because most people don't carry enough. More broadly, we should think about the fact that time is a zero-sum game. Things we spend time on inherently take time away from other things. So constantly ask, Is this the best and highest use of my time?
Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD: Harvard Brain Bank spokesperson and author of My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey, about going through a stroke and rebuilding her brain
You have two halves of your brain: The left is saying, "I need to get my work done"; the right, "I want to be in the present moment and play." Motivation is about finding the balance. My right brain, for example, helps me pay attention. When I want ice cream�my weakness�I'll pause and ask why. Then I get a visual of wanting to go to sleep, which happens when I eat sugar. Is that what I want? It's not�which allows me to move past the craving. To get into your right brain, slump in your chair, breathe, and allow your mind to go foggy. Just let yourself melt into the beauty of this moment.
Stephen Covey: Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness
Half of us spend time on urgent things�and not important things. It's like an urgency addiction: We need what we're doing to be pressing, or we feel guilty about it. But to succeed at change, you must become the creating force of your own life. That means instead of focusing on the urgent thing�it acts on you�you must focus on the important thing and making it happen�you act on it.
Even if you feel like a victim of your circumstances and have no formal authority, try to create your own moral authority. Show that you have personal courage.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Frequently, in walking through our fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was simply being out of sync with reality.
Life`s situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, can and will self-magnify if we don`t overcome it. It is when you are afraid and envisioning all that might go wrong that the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyzes you into inaction. Though frequently, in walking through that fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of synch with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds.
Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can also become a barrier a firewall if you will, that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences because you are allowing your fear to block them out. During the period before you face your fear, you will no doubt have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Walking through it, no matter what your fear especially having to assert yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place.
We spend so much time worrying about what might happen, when in reality that fear probably won’t even happen at all. Once you`ve walked through it It will feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can! Yes it means taking risks and can require both practice and patience. And since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small.
With each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing and making whatever your next step is to be easier.
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
WE ALL KNOW THAT an extra dose of self-assurance results in.. A great way to enhance this is to consciously focus on letting our confidence shine through. You might want to start by mentally affirming the value of your talents and abilities, building up your inner confidence and courage, and then letting others see what you're capable of accomplishing. If you can focus your attention on giving your best effort to EVERY task, the universe will sense your enthusiasm and readiness and open more doors to opportunities for you. Your confidence and enthusiasm are like magnets drawing more of what you want into your life.
Approaching life with a confident, can-do attitude invites the universe to offer us more opportunities for growth and success. Developing a strong belief in our abilities helps us devote more positive, powerful energy. Not only does this help us feel more fulfilled and confident, but we also attract the attention of others who may be in a position to help us. When we make an effort to consciously seek opportunities for bettering ourselves, we are telling the universe that we wish to grow, learn, and stretch beyond our limits. If you dare to allow your self-assurance to shine today, you may end up attracting the opportunities of your dreams.
Monday, September 05, 2011
If you find your body desiring a short nap during the day it is not out of laziness, rather the need for the body to rejuvenate.
In today's world, so many of us are compelled to be as productive as possible during as many hours of the day. Although this can and usually leads to great feats of accomplishment, most times we become exhausted and find ourselves craving rest and rejuvenation. How many times have you felt like taking a nap but felt guilty about indulging in even fifteen minutes. This need for personal downtime, which many people experience in the early to mid-afternoon, isn’t a sign of laziness nor is it necessarily related to how much sleep you had the night before. There was even a time when taking a nap was considered a natural part of everyone’s day.
They still do it is some countries. Mexico is one that I know of; Siesta
Why, because....
Napping is actually a pleasurable yet brief period of sleep when our minds and bodies take a break. Though judged by many to be a pastime for children or the elderly, napping actually does benefit people of all ages. The desire to nap is a trait shared by many mammals, and napping is still an important part of the day in some countries. Snoozing for a half-hour can be an enjoyable way to promote physical well-being, and naps have been known to improve your mood and memory. A 20-minute nap can sharpen your senses and revitalize you, while a ten minute nap can leave you feeling more cheerful. Falling into a light sleep during the daytime does feel meditative. The thoughts you have as you are taking a nap and the dreams you experience may offer you insights about your life that you may not have at night when you are in a deep sleep.
However, for many of us in order to fully enjoy the benefits of napping, we need to give ourselves permission to nap. Feeling guilty about snoozing or worrying about our to-do list won’t do us much good when we are trying to take a nap because our thoughts or feelings will keep us awake. Try to nap at the same time each day, and use an alarm clock to ensure that you don’t sleep for too long. If you go to an office, try crawling under your desk for a nap. Sounds humorous I know but learning to nap and enjoy its restorative benefits can help you wake up restored, rejuvenated, and ready for the rest of your day.
Monday, September 05, 2011
Many people blame their weight on their age. They think that as they get older, or after menopause, they no longer have the ability to change their bodies. I've just turned 50 this year and I'm living proof that this couldn't be further from the truth!
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