Through all this stress- I only gained .6 lbs

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Good Morning; If you follow this blog, you know I have had constant stress this year so far. Another back surgery for my DS in January, MIL severe health issues, DD a severe pregnancy problems- DS going through withdrawal from pain meds that doctors gave him during his recovery from two back surgeries. I have been the main care taker for all these situations and it is not even June 1. My secret of my strength is my high power through Overeaters Anonymous. This program I have taken advantage of and taken for granted to be there for me. It has for nearly 40 years. I have not always followed it but I am back this year. I hit rock bottom and had to surrender to my high power bc I needed support and no person could fulfill my needs bc of so much stress fatigue. I asked for help and it was there. I am not bragging or telling any one to get some kind of glory bc my journey is still going but I am not stressed like I was and burdened. I used to rely on my family and others but they are not always there when needed. I had to reach future to my higher power and this has taken away my resentment. I am back home and will get back on my routine. Right now I am listening to a phone meeting and it is very calming. Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive eating. For today I am calm and at peace. Have a good day. I use this blog, OA phone meeting and literature or I would have been buried from all the stress this year.
Every one has to find a way to succeed. I knew all the stress was killing me but it would not let up so I had to surrender to my higher power for relief. I did not do it alone. Have a good day!! I feel great and peaceful. I wrote this today bc people are praising me for being strong. I am strong but it bc I asked for help. I am handling things one day at a time. What a change bc I was drowning with the burden of all this stress. Get some movement in this weekend!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIECROCUS 5/29/2012 1:46AM

I hope, and pray, that things will turn out O.K. for you ! Take good care. Report Inappropriate Comment

MERRYMARY42 5/27/2012 7:54PM

I am very upset, I wrote a nice long blog, and put up patriotic emotions and none of it worked, the entire page turned green and is now gone. But I did say, that everyone of us need help in one way or another and I am glad you have your OE, glad it helps you, a calming sane voice is what most of us need in all instances. I went out for breakfast this morning with DH DS and DDIL all good, but strange that food involves most get togethers, Next Sunday our Grandson is having his Eagle Scout Court of Honor Ceremonies and that means more food, Not much planned for tomorrow, but I will fly my flag and honor our soldiers fallen and still with us. Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 5/27/2012 9:42AM

You HAVE been through a lot. . . for sure. But you're coming out on top. I'm just wondering if that same group concept would work for your son. Honestly, it is so important in getting over challenges to have a "mentor" or group of people who have been where you're @ and can help you get through. I've seen it with my own extended family dealing with alcohol, substance and abuse, as well as gambling. Hope you have a weekend that's restful and peaceful. Report Inappropriate Comment

rough night but got through it

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Good Morning; DS had a super duper anxiety attack last night. Thank goodness my DH was here. I have to turn over my DS and his problems with withdrawal over to my higher power. Due to the high level of stress last night I started thinking about overeating and even started look for food. I picked up but did not eat. DS has panic attacks with all this withdrawal. I am not an expert and a situation like this can tax a family's energy. I am thankful my DH is supportive this is new usually he becomes an ostrich and hides his head while I take the supportive role and get mentally exhausted. for some reason which is long over due, DH is coming through when it comes to being in the front lines of parenting. this is a miracle and I am grateful. This circumstances I can not do it alone. We are going home today thank goodness. I will be back on my treadmill which I need. Eating out is not how I can lose weight so that will be nice to be able to have portion control and even though I made good choices- the food did not always taste good. Have a good day!! Home sweet home!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALOHAEV1 5/27/2012 8:14AM

Hugs to all of you, especially hubby who is stepping up. Enjoy being home, best wishes for your son as he gets through all this. Report Inappropriate Comment

MERRYMARY42 5/26/2012 9:06PM

glad you will be going home, everything is better there. food, stress, and your own bed counts toward a lot. I admire your stamina, love and motherlyness (is that a word) I think now. lol. Praying for a good week ahead for you. Hugs. Mary Report Inappropriate Comment

BECKYANNE1 5/26/2012 5:27PM

He is so lucky to have you and your DH. In times like this family support is so important. Hopefully things will get better soon. Report Inappropriate Comment

DR1939 5/26/2012 10:34AM

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1CRAZYDOG 5/26/2012 9:24AM

Ok, this is just an idea. Is there any nearby support group (akin to AA for alcoholics) that your son could get involved in ? Generally hospitals have them for sure. Just an idea. OR if you can get yourself to a group for those affected by someone withdrawing, it could be helpful. Again, just an idea. I feel for you! AND your son. Man, I know exactly what you mean about being on the "front lines of parenting" and praying for that miracle that DH gets involved! My DH is also getting a little better about it as he sees how stressed things can get. Glad you and DH are going to be able to get home today. Prayers and hugs. Report Inappropriate Comment

LINDA7668 5/26/2012 7:39AM

You and your family are in my prayers. I want to thank your son for serving our country. God bless you all. Report Inappropriate Comment

Had a long talk with GF last night

Friday, May 25, 2012

Good Morning; DS took meds and got a good night sleep last night. He is actually in good mood. last night I picked up GF at midnight at her job. we talked in the car I laid it out how serious this situation is and that I can not always be in a hotel during this process. I told her my number one goal is DS. He has to take meds and be monitored. What we are learning is that warning of this medicine is dangerous but my son is a very strong man. I have learned that his BP could low but it is nothing he can't handle. He is getting confidence. He has always had confidence that I can manage his care. He says this process is horrible b/c he is not himself at all. My prayers this morning is that my DH & I will be able to monitor him for 4 days. 2 in a hotel and 2 at home. My DH is coming here today to help with DS. But GF who is 22 realizes that he needs to get license. I talked to her about this fact, but she needs DS car for driving test. They were going to do it yesterday but got in an argument. I told her if you want a relationship to make it you need to work together and both of you have to be less selfish. You are a team. Things will get better when you get a license. She realizes how dumb of her to expect DS to be her chauffeur. She is very young in experience and common sense. I feel good this morning bc I got 4 hours of sleep in one block. I monitor DS hourly for the first half of night and then every 4 hours after that. I have learned that the medicine is strongest at the beginning of the night. He is able to actually sleep with the meds and turn off his mind. i have not overeaten over this situation. having support from DH today is wonderful. I am strong and confident that I can get through this. have a good day!! Thank you for your support! have a good holiday. I salute all the fallen soldiers and ones that are still doing their duty. We need to remember that war has side effects and many suffer outside the battlefield. I also want to honor the caretakers of these military- it is not always easy handling this men and women during care. they have to let go and trust others to care for them.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONCHA77 5/29/2012 8:35AM

Praying for you. Hoping everyone gets a break soon, sounds intense. Hugs. Report Inappropriate Comment

MERRYMARY42 5/25/2012 9:47PM

Praying for you and your family, as well as all of our service men and women, past and present. Have a wonderful patriotic Memorial Day, Report Inappropriate Comment

DR1939 5/25/2012 5:25PM

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1CRAZYDOG 5/25/2012 11:15AM

I honor the caretakers too. You are such a splendid example of that! Glad you had a chat with the GF. Yup, 22 is still very, very young in my book, but you said it straight. IF things are going to work they BOTH have to be less selfish. No question about that. I don't know what makes thes young people so "me-go-centric" but they really are. Take care of yourself. Hugs and prayers. Report Inappropriate Comment

ONEKIDSMOM 5/25/2012 7:39AM

A big Hooah! to you, Mom! I join you in your salute. Sometimes the battle is more intense when they come home! Prayers for you and yours. Report Inappropriate Comment

here we go again!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Good evening; DS called me up this afternoon. He was really have a dark moment. He did not take his detox meds b/c his GF and him got in an argument and he did not feel that she would monitor his BP that the doctor said needed to be done after he takes the meds. He calls me - can you come and help me. Now that I am in town, his gf is having to be driven all over due to changes in her job b/c she does not drive. Now I can see why he is not getting good rest. You know what they say about love is blind. DH is coming home from a business trip and coming to help drive her around. I told DS I am here for you not to be on the road when I am here for you. He says - you take me - you take her.
Complications of immaturity and selfishness. Oh brother!! have a better evening than I am having!! I told my DH I am not taking on another kid to train.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITCANBEDUN 5/24/2012 10:43PM

I hate to hear you are having family problems. I think we all go through this some times. Hope it gets better. Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 5/24/2012 10:16PM

Seriously?? I mean how old is GF? Ok, my SIL doesn't drive (that's a whole 'nuther story, but I know there are folks out there who don't). I wouldn't be able to survive that way, but that too is a whole 'nuther story. Sounds like a lot of selfishness on both your DS and his GF's part! Why can't she take his B/P? Good heavens. And as for your DS's comment that you take him - you take her . . . well NOT. At least that's how I'd feel! **SIGH** Wish I had advice. Don't. All I can do is send hugs and prayers. Report Inappropriate Comment

things go in cycles - I am getting a breather

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Good Morning: DS is very positive that he can get through this situation of getting off his pain meds. He is actually listening to what I have been saying for years. I sent him a list of things to do to keep occupied and focused. He is listening to music - classic music - he says it is very calming. When we went to Yellowstone one year, in one of the stores there was a CD called "Yellowstone". Someone visited Yellowstone and wrote this music about what he saw. It is such lovely meditation music. He called me up and tells me he downloaded and has been listening to it. He went back to mental clinic and the doctor gave him a letter that asked command to let him detox at my home for the next two weeks. Command said no, but they gave him a 4 day weekend and ranted and raved up and down with him until he was shaking. they told him to man up. He called me afterwards immediately. He says mom they do not understand. I told him that was an understatement. What I did tell him - 'look at the source" They have really never been supportive unless forced- this is the Army. You can do this. You have family. I told him he is a short timer. You will get out with in a few months. There is an end to this game.
You just need to never lose your temper - b/c if you do you will lose much. He said he knows. DH was in the dumps yesterday and I had to yell at him. He gets in a pity mood. What works with him is, you have choices to make and I laid it out for him. He actually went to management and got a loose commitment that he is not going any where for awhile b/c he is needed for the short term. Me: I got some good sleep - meditated and read some literature. I feel good this morning and will exercise soon. How are you all doing?
Have a good day!! You are special! Get some exercise in today.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJSARGENT1 5/25/2012 11:50AM

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MERRYMARY42 5/24/2012 8:27PM

sounds like my kind opf music, once when we were in Alaska, I bought some CD's that were of whales, wind, birds, rain, just beautiful music to sleep with, or relax. hope it helps your DS you are such a strong woman, I guess we all are huh? We have to do what we have to do. Bless You. Report Inappropriate Comment

IILAAD65 5/24/2012 7:47PM

Well I am in the middle of a low-carb experiment! lol Sounds like he has control.. he'll make it and be stronger for it!!! Glad you are sleeping!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

DR1939 5/24/2012 2:32PM

You certainly deserve some peace. Comment edited on: 5/24/2012 2:32:44 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 5/24/2012 10:17AM

You are ! I am so glad that, despite things not going the way that would probably be the best for your son (detox @ home), there is light @ the end of the tunnel. I never knew there was music written about Yellowstone. That is my favorite place in the world, followed by the Grand Canyon, Bryce Natl. Canyon . . . all gorgeous, serene, wild, breathtaking all rolled in one! Prayers for you, your DS and your DH. So much of a man's "worth" is tied up in his job. **SIGH** I found when DH was job searching I had to keep him focused, too. Glad that at least he has a short term commitment. That's good. Report Inappropriate Comment

CONCHA77 5/24/2012 8:47AM

You are such a strong lady with such a strong spirit! Have a great Thursday. Hugs. Report Inappropriate Comment