Good Morning; If you follow this blog, you know I have had constant stress this year so far. Another back surgery for my DS in January, MIL severe health issues, DD a severe pregnancy problems- DS going through withdrawal from pain meds that doctors gave him during his recovery from two back surgeries. I have been the main care taker for all these situations and it is not even June 1. My secret of my strength is my high power through Overeaters Anonymous. This program I have taken advantage of and taken for granted to be there for me. It has for nearly 40 years. I have not always followed it but I am back this year. I hit rock bottom and had to surrender to my high power bc I needed support and no person could fulfill my needs bc of so much stress fatigue. I asked for help and it was there. I am not bragging or telling any one to get some kind of glory bc my journey is still going but I am not stressed like I was and burdened. I used to rely on my family and others but they are not always there when needed. I had to reach future to my higher power and this has taken away my resentment. I am back home and will get back on my routine. Right now I am listening to a phone meeting and it is very calming. Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive eating. For today I am calm and at peace. Have a good day. I use this blog, OA phone meeting and literature or I would have been buried from all the stress this year.
Every one has to find a way to succeed. I knew all the stress was killing me but it would not let up so I had to surrender to my higher power for relief. I did not do it alone. Have a good day!! I feel great and peaceful. I wrote this today bc people are praising me for being strong. I am strong but it bc I asked for help. I am handling things one day at a time. What a change bc I was drowning with the burden of all this stress. Get some movement in this weekend!!
Good Morning; DS had a super duper anxiety attack last night. Thank goodness my DH was here. I have to turn over my DS and his problems with withdrawal over to my higher power. Due to the high level of stress last night I started thinking about overeating and even started look for food. I picked up but did not eat. DS has panic attacks with all this withdrawal. I am not an expert and a situation like this can tax a family's energy. I am thankful my DH is supportive this is new usually he becomes an ostrich and hides his head while I take the supportive role and get mentally exhausted. for some reason which is long over due, DH is coming through when it comes to being in the front lines of parenting. this is a miracle and I am grateful. This circumstances I can not do it alone. We are going home today thank goodness. I will be back on my treadmill which I need. Eating out is not how I can lose weight so that will be nice to be able to have portion control and even though I made good choices- the food did not always taste good. Have a good day!! Home sweet home!
Good Morning; DS took meds and got a good night sleep last night. He is actually in good mood. last night I picked up GF at midnight at her job. we talked in the car I laid it out how serious this situation is and that I can not always be in a hotel during this process. I told her my number one goal is DS. He has to take meds and be monitored. What we are learning is that warning of this medicine is dangerous but my son is a very strong man. I have learned that his BP could low but it is nothing he can't handle. He is getting confidence. He has always had confidence that I can manage his care. He says this process is horrible b/c he is not himself at all. My prayers this morning is that my DH & I will be able to monitor him for 4 days. 2 in a hotel and 2 at home. My DH is coming here today to help with DS. But GF who is 22 realizes that he needs to get license. I talked to her about this fact, but she needs DS car for driving test. They were going to do it yesterday but got in an argument. I told her if you want a relationship to make it you need to work together and both of you have to be less selfish. You are a team. Things will get better when you get a license. She realizes how dumb of her to expect DS to be her chauffeur. She is very young in experience and common sense. I feel good this morning bc I got 4 hours of sleep in one block. I monitor DS hourly for the first half of night and then every 4 hours after that. I have learned that the medicine is strongest at the beginning of the night. He is able to actually sleep with the meds and turn off his mind. i have not overeaten over this situation. having support from DH today is wonderful. I am strong and confident that I can get through this. have a good day!! Thank you for your support! have a good holiday. I salute all the fallen soldiers and ones that are still doing their duty. We need to remember that war has side effects and many suffer outside the battlefield. I also want to honor the caretakers of these military- it is not always easy handling this men and women during care. they have to let go and trust others to care for them.
Good evening; DS called me up this afternoon. He was really have a dark moment. He did not take his detox meds b/c his GF and him got in an argument and he did not feel that she would monitor his BP that the doctor said needed to be done after he takes the meds. He calls me - can you come and help me. Now that I am in town, his gf is having to be driven all over due to changes in her job b/c she does not drive. Now I can see why he is not getting good rest. You know what they say about love is blind. DH is coming home from a business trip and coming to help drive her around. I told DS I am here for you not to be on the road when I am here for you. He says - you take me - you take her.
Complications of immaturity and selfishness. Oh brother!! have a better evening than I am having!! I told my DH I am not taking on another kid to train.
Good Morning: DS is very positive that he can get through this situation of getting off his pain meds. He is actually listening to what I have been saying for years. I sent him a list of things to do to keep occupied and focused. He is listening to music - classic music - he says it is very calming. When we went to Yellowstone one year, in one of the stores there was a CD called "Yellowstone". Someone visited Yellowstone and wrote this music about what he saw. It is such lovely meditation music. He called me up and tells me he downloaded and has been listening to it. He went back to mental clinic and the doctor gave him a letter that asked command to let him detox at my home for the next two weeks. Command said no, but they gave him a 4 day weekend and ranted and raved up and down with him until he was shaking. they told him to man up. He called me afterwards immediately. He says mom they do not understand. I told him that was an understatement. What I did tell him - 'look at the source" They have really never been supportive unless forced- this is the Army. You can do this. You have family. I told him he is a short timer. You will get out with in a few months. There is an end to this game.
You just need to never lose your temper - b/c if you do you will lose much. He said he knows. DH was in the dumps yesterday and I had to yell at him. He gets in a pity mood. What works with him is, you have choices to make and I laid it out for him. He actually went to management and got a loose commitment that he is not going any where for awhile b/c he is needed for the short term. Me: I got some good sleep - meditated and read some literature. I feel good this morning and will exercise soon. How are you all doing?
Have a good day!! You are special! Get some exercise in today.