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Between my DH and my DS anxiety is high

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Good afternoon; I did not know what to write about my family anxiety attacks. I get tired of writing about them. My DS has been give paperwork - lots of forms and questionnaires about leaving the Army. He calls me up and reads them over the phone. Some of the questions are ridiculous - DS is adopted so they want to know if he has any blood relatives. Stuff like this bothers my son b/c we have tried to do a search and to no avail. There is a whole form that some put "no" on all the answers and gave it to my DS. He reads me the form - the no answer does seem like the right answer. I told my DS I will come up and be his battle buddy and work through all of this with him just say the word. He does not want "mommy" up there. I told him I am not your mother but your battle buddy. He is afraid what the other solders will think. His unit is back from Afghanistan. They are saying "hey - we left you were big and strong and now you are disabled. " i told him to ignore these jerks. emoticon emoticonDh is getting support from some executive to stay through out the year - will know more by the end of this month. My DH is putting all his eggs into one basket and I am just praying that he gets what he wants. emoticonI am from the old school to always be prepared for the worst. I am worn out from my family again. they drain me with all the phone calls and the support they both need. emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRYMARY42 6/5/2012 11:12PM

    It is good that you can put down your feelings, I am sure it is a great stress reliever, You sure have had it piled on you, but just think of the relief when it is over. and it will get over. stay strong

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ONEKIDSMOM 6/5/2012 7:51PM

    I think the hardest thing for us as moms and wives is when to listen, say "I trust you" and let them handle it. "I know you can" is one of the most powerful phrases, "I have faith in you" another.

Hang in there, hope you get the support YOU need while you're being the strong mom/wife for them! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 6/5/2012 5:09PM

    OMG, talk to me about the questions that are sometimes asked which put adopted children in such an awkward emotional space! Drive me totally looney also. MY DS was adopted from Korea (as is my daughter) so chances are slim to none that he'd find any blood relatives. But I know emotionally that has always left a hole in his heart, which I try to understand but can't, because I'm not in his unique position of being adopted.

Believe me, I understand you on that score for sure.

You're doing the best you can. But if your son doesn't want you to physically be there and be his battle buddy, then I'd just let it go. that's all you can do.

I think it's good that now at least your DH has some timeframe to work with. Hard, but better than not knowing at all.

HUGS and good luck to you. Keep venting . . . we "get it" and you need that release!

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DIANNEMT 6/5/2012 4:40PM

    It sounds like you are being supportive to all -- and that is really hard to keep doing! I hope YOU are getting support as well. I am sorry your son is having these difficulties--and I wish he could find another advocate cause it is hard to have Mom come to the rescue. But I hope he accepts your help and support--a lot is riding on this.

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Update on family

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Good Morning; Got a call from DS - he sounded happy. He says he is feeling much better and has hope for a full recovery. I have to say he has gotten support from the Army and I thank God for their support. DD called, sent more photos which I will add to my page. Baby doing very well - now 3 months. She has quite a happy personality. Her daddy bought her a T-shirt - small and sassy. She takes after my daughter. DH is up now checking the water around our house- we have very low pressure. Never ending with maintenance of a home. emoticon emoticon emoticonI am working my program which is portion control and exercise. I am losing inches. I have lost a size already. I just take one day at a time. With much stress lately, I am very fortunate that I see progress at all. I am grateful for what I receive. Have a wonderful day! Get some exercise in today!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 6/3/2012 10:37AM

    So happy that both your DS and DD are doing well. I can't believe your little granddaughter is already 3 mths. old!

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ALOHAEV1 6/3/2012 8:45AM

    That is good news on the Son front - continued good recovery vibes going his way!!!

Look at you, a whole size down - OWOW - I'd take that NSV anytime.

You have a wonderful Sunday and week yourself, it's good to see you smile. Now to check on grandbaby pics...

(Thinking I'd check with the water co, sometimes they do stuff like that just because they can)

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Humble and grateful

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Good Morning; I have told my kids for years. You need to be humble and grateful for what you have. there are so many people in this world with less resources and in worst situations. I received an email where a family member just had brain surgery and has much recovery to happen. emoticon emoticon emoticonYesterday I spent the afternoon with a neighbor who I have not seen eye to eye on many issues. She told me her DH is able to retire. He wants to travel. She is very afraid. she is in her sixties and is afraid to enjoy life. I am grateful that I like adventure and am excited to do things. Her life is very different than mine. She wants grand children badly and her children have no interest in this any time soon. She seems so lonely and I know if she got out more she would enjoy things and have a more interesting conversations. She wants to see photos of Adrienne all the time. I have always said bc of my uncertain childhood; I do not fear unknown situations. I am carefully but I say a prayer and then go forward. The way I feel if you do not experience life, you can live a life looks out a window onto life as it goes by. have a good day!! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRYMARY42 5/31/2012 8:52PM

    I am not crazy about change, but, I do love to travel something new around every curve, so how can I say I do not like change, (very strange) Your neighbor should definitely start enjoying life, and there are things other than being a grandmother, although that is super, but she should check in to volunteering in a hospital, I have a cousin who goes and sits and holds and rocks preemie babies, giving them the love they need. There are lts of things.

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CONCHA77 5/31/2012 2:37PM

    Life is one big adventure! I agree, we should enjoy it.

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SWTHNY- 5/31/2012 10:42AM

    We only get the present day to live it...tomorrow it will be gone forever

I read that somewhere and its the new mantra for my soul and to be grateful for all things big and small and give thanks.

Funny how life can go by and we are left wondering where the time went

cheryl

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1CRAZYDOG 5/31/2012 10:31AM

    YES! Excellent blog. We can't wait for opportunities to knock on our doors either. We have to be able to seek them out.

Have a wonderful Thursday.

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What have you done for yourself lately?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Good Morning; As all of you know I have been in much stress, this amount can affect you physically as well as mentally. Yesterday I gave myself a spa day. I gave myself a nice spa bath, facial and dyed my hair in my home. All of this was done with lovely music and I feel great today. I also did something that I have not done- I did my exercise on the treadmill barefoot. My feet are a little sore but I want to strengthen my feet. My DS told me that if you want to strengthen your feet exercise barefoot. emoticon emoticonI am very peaceful this morning. emoticonLife is good! Look into the mirror and say " I love myself unconditionally." Have a good day!! Get some exercise in today!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRYMARY42 5/30/2012 8:47PM

    I do spoil me much more often that I used to, it takes quite a few years, (or it did for me) to realize that I am an ok person, I do like me.
now what I do mostly is just kick back with a book, I can go and do anything if I only have the right material, and I am not too particular about reading material. not much science fiction, but other than that, I will read most all of them,
and your spa day sounds fantastic. glad it was good.

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FRAN0426 5/30/2012 5:17PM

    You wonderful spa day at home seems like a grat alterative than heading out and paying big bucks at a spa. Some day when I'm the only one around the house will definately give this a go. Glad it made your day.

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TRAVELISMYGAME 5/30/2012 12:20PM

    Hmmm, sounds like a wonderful day. Good for you!

Tiffany
10k Leader

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1CRAZYDOG 5/30/2012 9:50AM

    Good for you!!! The key definitely is taking care of yourself.

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Getting back to a schedule is comforting!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Good afternoon; Been busy this morning. I just took some time to get the blog done.
Did any one watch Hemingway and Gellhorn on HBO last night. I recorded it so watched it today. It is marvelous. I like books and movies with strong women roles.
DS is still working with doctors and the medications. It is very confusing. It seems no one actually understands the sides effects. One drug can produce side effects - he just does not like the way it makes him feel. I am hoping there is an end to this situation within a short time. It is very frustrated for him and us all.
emoticon emoticon I am about to go and exercise. I am trying very hard to get back to my routine and take one day at a time. Life is complicated but it is the only life I have and I am going to do the very best I can to stay on my program and continue to exercise with portion control. Every one have a good day!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALOHAEV1 5/30/2012 6:47AM

    You are one strong woman, I know I'm stronger knowing you! As I say to myself often, "if Nancy can get through this year sane, no reason why you can't! "

Hugs to your son as he continues this journey.

I'll try to wrestle the TV away from hubs to watch that show.

Comment edited on: 5/30/2012 6:50:16 AM

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MERRYMARY42 5/29/2012 4:19PM

    You have a good grasp on your surroundings, and that is so great, you are a a strong woman yourself, perhaps you can relate to others

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1CRAZYDOG 5/29/2012 2:57PM

    Hugs and prayers that thigs get resolved for your son. I can imagine it's very frustrating for AND you!

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