Daughter in hospital

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Good Evening; I got home last night after much delays due to weather. I am just trying to rest today. I will start my routine tomorrow. this afternoon my daughter sends me a text that she was admitted to the hospital this morning with a fever and chills. I tried finding out more but nothing yet. I just left yesterday. I know this weekend she did not feel well, but she would not talk with me about it. I was told that I was not needed b/c her DH was there. Not sure when she took a turn for the worse. I am just praying it is an urinary infection- something not too serious. she has a precious baby.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 3/22/2012 9:44AM

Sounds like Mastitis. Hope it clears up soon. They will probably give her IV antibiotics. Report Inappropriate Comment

MERRYMARY42 3/21/2012 9:23PM

I am so very sorry, my goodness, my prayers are definitely with you, hopefully it is quite minor, but going to the hospital is very upsetting, I sure hope all is well, take it easy, and get some rest and stress relief Report Inappropriate Comment

ONEKIDSMOM 3/21/2012 9:11PM

Just said a prayer for you both! Report Inappropriate Comment

JESSIG5 3/21/2012 9:07PM

Wishing the best for you and your daughter. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHARON10002 3/21/2012 9:07PM

So very sorry to hear that she's in hospital. She and baby need some good energy! Hope it's nothing serious. . . I've said a prayer for her. I hope you can get some rest and some me time in to rejuvenate your spirit. Report Inappropriate Comment

Leaving soon

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Good Morning: Spent the last time with baby and DD. We had a good morning and had some good conversations. But later that afternoon, she got more closed off. I was there from 9-4, but at that time, she was not talking to me again. My DH called and wanted to talk with my about MIL. I went to DD and told her that I was going back to hotel. I told her that I wanted to thank you for asking me to come and help you out- I will see you again at Easter. I gave her and baby a kiss. My daughter says to me- "Good bye, Mom". Nothing else. I left upset. My DH does not want to go there at Easter now. I told him that we will go for the weekend and then we filled our obligations. She will treat her dad better than me. So I do not understand my DD at all. She is 24.
My DH has told me for years that we need to live for ourselves and not our children. I would have felt guilty if I had not come. I know I helped her. Baby is adorable. I did not do well food wise the last couple of days. I was upset and I did not make good choices. As soon as I am on home turf, I will be fine again. I am not going to beat myself up over my choices, but I will immediate have a sense of relief when I can get into a routine again. I was unprepared at what I encountered with my DD. I never dreamed that she would not be grateful I was there. Maybe it is hormones- I do not know. I just know in my heart that I am glad I did go and I know I made a difference to my DD even though she could not tell me so. Have a good day. MIL is up again and sitting in a chair. 4 doctors have look at her and do not know why she has these episodes.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRYMARY42 3/20/2012 9:19PM

I think you are doing everything right, you went and helped her, and she does appreciate it, just must be hard for her to accept help, it will get better, and just remember You have a adorable GRAND DAUGHTER, isnt it grand Report Inappropriate Comment

DR1939 3/20/2012 1:36PM

In the long run I think you will be glad you took this time to help her. Children often treat their parents in ways they would never treat other people. In one sense family is the place where they love you with all of your faults. Have a good flight home and enjoy your time with your husband. Report Inappropriate Comment

TRAVELISMYGAME 3/20/2012 9:54AM

I'm glad that you got in some good grandma time with the baby. Hopefully your daughter will come around soon! Have a safe trip home! Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 3/20/2012 8:54AM

Have to agree that now you have bonded with your precious granddaughter and that is a priceless thing! Definitely go back @ Easter so your DH can do the same. I don't think either of you will regret it. As suggested, maybe it IS the huge hormonal shift. But try not to take it personally (easier said than done . . . I know!) Report Inappropriate Comment

ALOHAEV1 3/20/2012 8:26AM

Hugs Nancy, you helped her more than she's willing to admit or accept. But you created a bond with that little angel that will never be broken so come on back at Easter, let grandpa finally meet her. (She'll realize and appreciate your help when she's on her own, maybe deep down she has that now how do I do this alone rolling in her head) Whatever it is, as we always tell each other don't take that behaviour personally, you made a difference. Continued prayers for your mother-in-law, certainly is a puzzle isn't it? Enjoy being back home!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

BEYOURBEST1 3/20/2012 7:55AM

I am glad that you enjoyed the little one. I think your daughter will come around. She must be trying to sort things out now that she is a mother, too. From your posts it sounds like she distances herself when something bothers her. You are a good mother, you have done your share. Enjoy being a grandma and enjoy all the good things that will come with that. I hope your MIL gets better. Report Inappropriate Comment

YIGOBUTTERFLY 3/20/2012 7:20AM

NJJ, sometimes new Mom's act strange. Give her space, see her at Easter and pretend nothing happened. She may not remember. If she brings it up and asks forgiveness forgive. Hormones can do crazy things to us. She had major hormone changes during the pregnancy and is now having them again because she is no longer pregnant. Hope things settle soon. Jane Report Inappropriate Comment

dust storm yesterday -update

Monday, March 19, 2012

Good Morning- 40-60 MPH winds with dusty blowing. there was so much dust in the air that you could not seen the road. People were wearing bandannas on their mouths.
I was with baby during the worse of the storm. This is the last day with baby. I did go to the botanic garden and aquarium on Saturday.
Update on MIL- "We went down to visit Mom this afternoon. She was supposed to get her GI exam (they are thinking that she is losing blood some where) and be released on Monday. She was on oxygen when we got there; said she had had some breathing difficulty at 5:30 AM. We were having a good talk when she complained of dizziness and difficulty breathing. We convinced her to call the nurse. Her blood pressure dropped very low and they stabilized her and moved her back to ICU. They put in a central line again before moving her and switched it for a different catheter to monitor blood pressure at the lungs after she got there. They are using a mask rather than a tube to help her breathing so far. Her blood pressure came back up and she was resting when we left. We talked with a cardiologist and a pulmonary specialist in ICU. They still don’t know what is causing the episodes. Every test they run on her heart looks fine." DH is can not understand why they can not figure this out.
DS- starting physical therapy this week.
This visit has been very stressful to me. I did not expect this. I was doing so good with food and exercise but did not continue later in the week. I have to get back to the routine when home. My DD barely talks to me. Not sure what that is all about. I will see how it goes today.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 3/19/2012 7:45PM

It is sad that your daughter is not able to communicate with you. Hope everyone gets well and some peace in their lives. Sounds like there is a lot happening at once! Report Inappropriate Comment

MERRYMARY42 3/19/2012 3:54PM

What should be a very happy time is very trying for you, I m sorry, I know you will cope and be the stronger for it. hope your MIL is on the uphill road, and things will be better for her. We had a lot of wind but no dust, it had rained all the day before, and off and on yesterday, mostly a beautiful breezy day. It will be good for you to get back to your own routine and home Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 3/19/2012 12:55PM

Sorry to hear your MIL is having continued difficulties that they can't pinpoint. But she's in the right place for help at least. STRESSFUL!! As for your DD . . . well. clearly she doesn't appreciate what you're doing for her. But there's nothing you can do about that. FOR SURE it is good that you're only going to be there a weekend @ Easter and that DH will be with you. At least if she behaves in that manner, you and DH can go off and do your own thing. **SIGH** How old is your DD again?? I can never remember ever treating my Mom like that at all, BUT until becoming a parent (at age 39!) I didn't fully appreciate all she did til I became a parent. Just take care of YOU, enjoy your remaining time w/the baby and don't focus on DD. Or try not to. Hard to do, I know. HGUS Report Inappropriate Comment

DIANNEMT 3/19/2012 9:37AM

I am so sorry your DD isn't communicating with you. It sounds like you are getting stressed from all directions. Remember--this will pass. Make the best choices you can, love your DD and grandbaby and MIL and hubby--things will be as they will be. Report Inappropriate Comment

Happy Patrick's Day

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Good Morning; yesterday I went to the Pueblo Cultural Center. it was a wonderful and very informative place to learn about the Pueblo Indians. I was a bit stressed when I got there, but as I entered I felt peace. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. I am not spending too much time with my daughter now. I went there and it was very obvious that SIL is doing more. My DD is more involved with baby with SIL home. I was told that I will not be needed much today. I am going to spend time seeing some more sights today and going over baby's house for a few hours but not much more at this point. I did look to see if I could get a flight out, but too expensive. $1200 for a one way trip. Baby had a doctor visit and the baby is now at birth weight- my DD was very pleased. I was glad that SIL getting more involved. I will be glad to go back home. My DH is not too pleased with my DD about how I have been treated, but she can never say I did not come when she needed help, but next time I might think twice. I did change tickets for over Easter - only coming for weekend and do not feel guilty at all. SIL did tell me thank you for helping with baby- my dd never has. Have a good day.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRYMARY42 3/17/2012 8:44PM

Happy St. Patricks Day to you also, I a cooking my corned beef and all the trimmings as I write, Hang the fat, calories and carbs, It is so Good, and we sure do not indulge often, I am even having slice of rye bread, and it has been 2 weeks today since I have eated any bread, so I am looking forward to dinner. I am so glad you are getting out and seeing some things, Here is hoping your daughter will see more clearly when you go home, so glad you got to meet your new granddaughter and things will be better for you doing it. Hugs Mary Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 3/17/2012 9:38AM

Seriously . . . you SIL thanked you but your DD didn't. That would sting me . . . a lot! For sure I wouldn't spend more than a weekend @ Easter. I am glad you got out and did some things for yourself. You deserve that for sure. How is your son doing? MIL? DH? Report Inappropriate Comment

CONCHA77 3/17/2012 9:14AM

Bless your Heart. Know that you are a wonderful mother and grandmother. Happy St Patty's Day. Hugs. Report Inappropriate Comment

Made my decision

Friday, March 16, 2012

Good Morning; I have decided to only stay the weekend at Easter. Yesterday morning my daughter tells me that I am not sure how much we will need you this weekend. I told her that will be fine - a nice break. I kind of expected this b/c I did not think SIL would want me around this weekend. My daughter has relaxed but I am getting exhausted. yesterday was the first time she has not made snippy remarks. To date I have not received a thank you. I did find out things that SIL is not helping out at night at all any more. They went out to dinner. They come home at 8 pm- I have been watching baby from 9am until 8 pm. I did go for a walk mid afternoon. I am exhausted. My daughter says to me - you can come at 10 am tomorrow. I say you told me that you did not need me this weekend much - so I thought I would sleep in since I was here so late. What I was being used this weekend is not helping my daughter which is why I am here, but to baby sit. I just assumed SIL would pitch in more this weekend. He has a long weekend off. You see I am a very independent woman - I did not mind having time off this weekend. I just assumed this weekend would be a great time for DD and SIL to continue to learn to deal with baby. I got a text msg later that night and my DD told me to come from 2:30 pm to 5:30 pm. I hope they both realize this baby is forever and I am not going to be here much longer.
I understand my DD has medical issues. She is not resting enough by her choice. Being a mother or a father is not a part-time job.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STORMIWEATHER 3/17/2012 7:48AM

I hope things get better. You have done your part. We do so much for our children and often feel unappreciated. Just remember you did your best. Report Inappropriate Comment

MERRYMARY42 3/16/2012 5:22PM

I agree completely, You have helped, offered help and love, and that is good, but, let's take care of Nancy too. Report Inappropriate Comment

1CRAZYDOG 3/16/2012 12:21PM

Hmmm...think you're doing the right thing. Definitely seems like your DD and SIL need to come to grips with the lifetime responsibility they created! Anyhoo . . . glad you are gonna have SOME down time. It's hard, I'm sure, for you to see your DD is not resting enough, but it's up to HER to tell her DH to get with the program and for HER to take responsibility for resting. Oh well. You didn't cause it, can't control it either. Report Inappropriate Comment

AUNTB63 3/16/2012 10:00AM

You are right having a baby around is not a part time job. They are very lucky that you came by to help out, but you need to still put YOU first in this equation. They will have to (and will) deal with what is to come....for many, many years. Have a good weekend....hope you get some rest. Take care. Report Inappropriate Comment

ONEKIDSMOM 3/16/2012 8:02AM

Good for you! Sometimes you just have to step back so the grown kids will finish growing up. Report Inappropriate Comment