Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Well, today was considerably better than the last 2 days back to work. I will say this, the week flies by on this job. Its great. I am officially half way through the work week and chomping at the bit for a nice, relaxing weekend full of holiday spirit. Today, dating is on my mind. I only had one semi-serious relationship since my husband died and it was just too soon. (3 years after his passing.) Not to mention that the guy was too young for me and a buffoon. So, its been 11 years since my husband passed and I had one two year relationship which I consider a complete waste of time. I guess that isn't completely true as I am the type of soul who believes that you will learn more about yourself and why you do certain things after such experiences. The really cool thing is I have been inexplicably happy being single. I've actually considered remaining single for the rest of my days as I enjoy marching to the beat of my own drum (now that the kids are grown). But lately I've been thinking about how I would very much enjoy the company of a smart, handsome nature lover. Someone to enjoy hikes and bike rides with. Someone to cuddle up with and share a bottle of wine on the deck on cool spring and fall nights. So I reactivated some dating profiles and actually got a few bites. The only thing standing in my way is this blubber. What to do, what to do? I don't really feel like meeting anyone with the weight still on. Its not who I really am. I mean I guess in a sense it has been these last several years but that wasn't really me. My thin, active, healthy self lies below this padding. Its time to let myself back out. Be vulnerable. Take a chance. So what do I do if someone I'm interested in wants to meet? Do I venture out before I lose the weight? How would you keep holding someone off just to lose weight? Sounds logically ridiculous yet every inch of me is saying "YESSS! wait to lose the weight!" I just don't know.