NITER83   7,813
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Picking Myself Up by My Boot Straps AGAIN

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

It's been quite a while since I blogged. Life has gotten in the way again. My doctor keeps telling me I need to start putting myself ahead of others. That's just not the way I was raised so it's very difficult putting myself first.

Two weeks ago last Sunday, my daughter gave birth to a sweet little boy - our miracle baby - since she wasn't suppose to be able to carry to full term after having cervical cancer. Ryder is so much fun! Ryder was born 3 days after Mackenzie's (his sister's) 8th birthday.

I've been doing a lot of pondering - lots of extra time on my hands with insomnia. I DO want to be around to see Mackenzie and Ryder grow up and be an active part of their lives. If I don't get my weight and diabetes under control - that's not going to happen. I am blessed to have a husband who is very supportive and 2 daughters who worry about me - I just wish I had the motivation and willpower to stick with losing weight, making better food choices and exercising. I do really good for a while - they miss a day then two which turns into three and so on. I know when I'm on SparkPeople daily logging my food and blood sugars, reading articles, etc - I do a lot better. I NEED to stick with it and not fall off the wagon.

I work for my doctor who is AWESOME! He is very supportive. I am extremely blessed to work for him! I have my annual physical coming up in about 2 weeks and I've been doing research on insulin pumps. Talking with a few people who have them and they tell me they will never go back to the multiple daily injections. Being the control freak that I am - it's very hard to ask for help - I feel like I've failed, but I'm going to "suck it up" and ask for the insulin pump at my appointment. If I can get control of my diabetes then hopefully the weight loss will fall in place.

Starting tonight, I'm going to begin cooking meals again instead of being lazy eating out or using the "pop it in the microwave" cooking. I really enjoy cooking and trying new recipes - so I need to get off the couch and get back to cooking healthy meals. Roger will eat anything I cook - he's not the picky eater than I am. I am going to make Homemade Pizza - a meal I haven't made in an extremely long time because I was too lazy to cut up the veggies, meats, mix up the sauce and pizza dough.

I forgot how calming it is to blog just typing randem thoughts - putting into writing what I'm feeling inside. It's frustrating when I verbalize how I'm feeling - my family thinks I need to have my depression medication increased. It's times like this I really miss my Dad. I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge, but listen. - then tell me to give it a few days and I may feel differently. Rog wants to fix it when I just need someone to listen. After verbalizing the feeling, I do start feeling better and can look at differently.

Well, since it is almost 2am, I should try to get some sleep before Jackie Lynn brings Ryder around 7am.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNESYLVIA 10/19/2013 7:53AM

    I understand your list of a love one especially one that was your rock. I lost my brother September 4, 2011 to cancer. No one to talk extremely personal matters has brought back emotional eating. I had lost over 30lbs but since his death hit plateau and this past year gained a lot back.

Ask your doctor about an over the counter supplement called ZMA stands for zinc, magnesium and aspartate. My GYN recommend it for my insomnia. I have been using it for a month. For my sleep troubles it blows away melatonin. I got it at GNC. Again talk to your doctor first. FYI: I slept 6 straight hours before I got up to go to BR. Went back and slept some more. Best part I feel refreshed and rested.

Take care, Anne

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NITER83 10/16/2013 6:55AM

  Thank you for your encouraging workds. I will be using a weekly menu. Right now it's in my head and not on paper. I do love my slow cooker.

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KNYAGENYA 10/15/2013 9:30AM

    Good luck on your weight loss journey. I am sure everyone will be happy to have you around them for a long time. Can you make weekly menus? I have made weekly menus for the last 11 years. This helps me with my eating habits and decreases frequency of eating out. What about using a slow cooker?

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Doctor's Appointment

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I had my annual physical this morning I didn't anticipate it going very well since my Hgb A1C has risen to 10.3 and cholesterol to 105. emoticon

I have the most amazing doctor - we worked together on what might be the cause of my high morning blood sugars. His theory is that I may be going way too low and my liver is compensating my throwing more sugar. He suggested that I wear a permanent CGM (continuous glucose monitor) which will show when I am going hypoglycemic. I wore one for 3 days a couple of years ago and it was eye opening. My blood sugar bottoms out during the early morning hours then spikes before dawn (also known as the dawning effect). He also said I may one of those people where Lantus isn't lasting the full 24 hours and that I may be needing less Lantus in the evening and adding a NPH insulin in the morning. I'm all for anything that will lessen the stress of high morning blood sugars and Hgb A1C over 7%. Overall, after my appointment I'm feeling motivated to keep going. He wasn't too concerned about my cholesterol being a little high. He feels that once that diabetes is under control the cholesterol will follow suit.

I feel that part of my high blood sugars is due to my period lasting 2 weeks for the past 5 months. Each month, the pain has been getting worse. This month, I felt like I was back in high school with the pain and nausea. I have a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow afternoon and see Dr. Carlyle following the ultrasound. He will then decide which is a better route to go - endometrial ablation or hysterectomy. Been doing some reading on both the ablation and hysterectomy. The ablation may need to be repeated more than once and some other organs can easily be damaged in the process. Although the hysterectomy is more invasive, our hospital has the da vinci surgery system which can do a hysterectomy with only 7 small incisions. If I have a choice, I think I will choose the hysterectomy over the ablation - but tomorrow I should know more.

After I finish a few orders, Kira and I need to walk. We'll probably only do 1.5 miles today instead of 2 miles.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNESYLVIA 10/25/2012 7:16AM

    I do hope that the monitor works in detecting what is actually happening to you. Both my grandmother and father had type 2 diabetes. I know how hard it is especially if you like sweets like both my DG & DF.

Wow, periods lasting two weeks. I want to snap when some of mine (since 9yo) last 7-8 days. My norm was 6-7, that extra day would be mentally tiring. I just wanted it to end.

Are you going through peri menopause? I believe I am. I bit early than the normal age but then again I got my menstrual at a young age too.

take care, Anne

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Just finished watching the Spark Coach video on how to tell you're on the right track without the scale as a guide. I have noticed that I am making better choices when it comes to food. I am choosing fruit over a sugary snack. I am also noticing my clothes becoming loose. It' s a GREAT feeling! It is hard, though, not seeing the scale move. I need to stop depending so much on the scale and focus on how I'm feeling, how my clothes are fitting better and my overall energy level.

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AMARANTHA_Q 10/22/2012 7:43AM


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Uphill Battle

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Yesterday was NOT a good day!!! After struggling for a week of getting my blood sugar back in the acceptable range my 6 month hemoglobin A1C came back a tenth of a point higher at 10.3. It really depressed me! My co-worker is awesome!!!! She reminded me that I've only been exercising for less than a month and really watching and logging what I've been eating. She's right - if I keep exercising and logging what I eat it will come down. I was really hoping that it would be below 10.

I fell off the wagon last week after a conference dinner blew my blood sugar. It was NOT a diabetic friendly meal and the way the line was set - the salad, raw vegetables and fruit were at the end of the line with a small plate instead at the beginning where I could have exchanged plates and taken more salad. The planners chose a pasta bar. White pasta shoots by blood sugar sky high. I tried to estimate the number of carbs I was taking & took my insulin to accommodate, but an hour later by blood sugar was 396. To which I took more insulin. My fasting blood sugar the next morning was still 314 and I fought all week to get it back down. Finally, Thursday morning I had a 113.

Today . . . my resolve is back! Although my fasting blood sugar is 265, I will not let that deter me from my goal of an A1C of 7 or below in January 2013. I also need to get back to training for the Virtual 5K. I will not complete it by Halloween as planned, but I will complete the race even if I am a week or 2 late.

My brother-in-law and his wife are doing a late birthday party for Gary's son, Austin. So, I need to be really conscious and plan what I eat today to compensate for the cake and ice cream tonight. They will probably be doing hot dogs (not my favorite food unless they are all beef), so I probably should take my own sandwich, fruit, and scale to weigh an ounce of chips. It's really interesting that Gary & Michelle's kids usually want what I'm eating. They love fresh fruit as much as I do.

The morning is just flying by! Can't believe I slept in until 8:30am. Sure beats 4:30am when my husband gets up. i need to get breakfast and get to my office to get orders out the door today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARSMOM2 10/21/2012 10:47AM

  hope you find the balance you seek . it is a hard road to walk as i walk it also . can not find the answers and get in trouble with all life has to offer .

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ANNESYLVIA 10/20/2012 6:54PM

    Sad news to hear about your test results. But your co worker is correct, if you stick with tracking you will bring your numbers down.

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Virtual 5K

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Never thought I would be doing a blog entry on a 5K race, but here it is. After attending the TCOYD conference on Sept. 22, I logged back into SparkPeople the following Tuesday. In the middle of the spin wheel there was an ad for a Halloween Trick or Treat Virtual 5K race. After reading that you could walk or run I decided to take the plunge. Boy, have I been surprised with myself. I am now in the second week of the challenge and am feeling motivated and invigorated! I walk with my dog, Kira. The hardest part of the challenge for me is getting off the couch, into my coat, and out the door. Not too fond of cold weather. The walking is the easy part. Today the weather in Iowa is crisp. A cool 29 degrees at 7:45 am. but we still walked. Kira is stretched out on the couch resting - having a difficult time holding her eyes open. I decided to have a 2nd cup of coffee which is rare for me and write in my blog.

Roger is out of town this weekend volunteering at the Amanda the Panda grief camp. The camp is open to all ages - children to adult. It is a fantastic service offered free to all participants. Throughout the year, they hold weekly grief groups. The organization is entirely funded by donations and grants.

I had better get to work or I will not have time today to decorate for Halloween - my FAVORITE holiday.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELLISOND 10/13/2012 11:54AM

    Congrats on committing to yourself and participating in a fun, motivating way to get moving! You can do it!! emoticon emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 10/8/2012 4:38PM

    Best of luck on your virtual 5k.

Kira sounds like she is needs the exercise too.

Enjoy the up coming Halloween holiday. emoticon

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NITER83 10/7/2012 9:32AM

  Thank you.

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ONENEL 10/7/2012 9:16AM

    good luck in training for the virtual 5k- have fun!

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