Friday, August 15, 2008
The past week has been a roller coaster of emotion for me. From altercations with my boss to embarking on a new romantic adventure to talking several friends and my sister back from the proverbial edge of reason, there is no doubt in my mind that the full moon it is a coming. There is absolutely no way any of this is NORMAL, but the key here is the way I have worked through each thing that has moved into my path. There was a time when I would eat through every single emotion I was feeling - thus labeling myself an emotional eater.
Since transitioning to a clean vegan diet, I have found that label does not apply to me at all. Apparently, my trigger foods always set off a cycle of binging that just happened to coincide with my emotional highs and lows. Looking back, I now see that those cycles also coincided with just about everything in my life. I ate more and more not because I was blocking out emotions, but because I was always craving that next high from food.
As I type, I'm eating a vegan peanut butter cookie from the absolute BEST vegan bakery in Columbus. I bought one, because I wanted one, and I'll eat one and be satisfied. The is no doubt in my mind that if I had opted for a pack of Nutter Butters, the first row would be history by now, and I'd be eyeing the second one. I love the fact that I made the choice to define my new normal and that it embraces my desire for good, clean healthy living. As I recommit each day to my new normal, I am empowered to make every morsel count, and that allows me to stay the course effortlessly.
Monday, August 04, 2008
I was having the crappiest Monday ever. First, I got on the scale up a few pounds that I KNOW didn't really belong to me. I thought I was doing really well with that, considering I've been using my rescue inhaler to treat asthma symptoms for the past few days, and that tends to make me retain water. Next, I got to work and someone decided, yet again, to pass the buck on to me because they know I will get the job done. It had to be a combination of the two things that made me snap off in my bosses butt (yes he deserved it, but it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do), and subsequently break down in tears.
I was coping, but just barely. I wasn't eating through it, and I wasn't looking for anyone to dump my woes on. As I'm so fond of saying, I was doing the best I could with what I had to work with. And then it happened. I received an email from SP telling me that I am now a Spark Motivator. Instantly there it was...my silver lining and my rainbow after the storm all rolled in one. It was the coolest level of external validation I have received in forever, and it reminded me that there are far too many times when my best is MORE than enough - as am I.
When life gets me down, it's the little things that give me the greatest lifts. For me, it really doesn't get any better than living my life on my own healthy terms, and allowing the rest of the world to fall into place as it sees fit. There will always be good and bad days, crappy weigh-ins, and bosses that don't appreciate the value of hard-working employees. Those days may even overshadow the good we do in our lives more than we would desire, if only momentarily. But in the end, after all is said and done, the marks that show...the ones we leave on ourselves and others... that's all that really matters. And for today, I am thankful for that realization.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I have always maintained that I can be exceptionally cute OR exceptionally smart. I've never been able to manage both at the same time, and it doesn't really bother me at all. Well this morning, I must be SMOKIN' HOT, because somewhere between my house and the gas station I lost my mind.
Here's the deal...I typically use my debit card to pay for my gas, but today I went in and paid with cash. When I walked back to the car, I tossed my keys and receipt through the sunroof onto the seat (I have no clue why) and proceeded to pump my gas. You know where this story is headed, but stay with me for effect. When I was finished, I walked around to the driver's side and attempted to open my LOCKED door. If I tell you that I have NO idea how the door got locked, you'll agree that I really am serious about how SMOKIN' HOT I must look today.
As I stood looking at my car, I realized that there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to climb up the front end of my car to slither through the sunroof in this particular dress. NOPE, not gonna happen!!!!! But I didn't freak out, and I didn't stress out, and I didn't panic. I simply walked back into the store and asked for help. The wonderful attendant grabbed a step ladder and had my door opened in 2 seconds flat. (He's my new hero for the day )
Here's the beauty of the situation, as I see it. When the body, mind, and spirit are all on one healthy accord, the minor glitches in life are tolerable, and often times even laughable. I love being this balanced and centered, even on a day when I'm of less than optimal brain functioning, but rocking the SMOKIN' HOT beauty of healthy wellness inside and out.
Monday, July 28, 2008
This morning I got on the scale up 4#s. I wasn't freaked out and I wasn't angry. In fact, I was quite resigned to it before I even stepped on the scale because I spent the past 4 days either on the road or out of town. I learned first hand that while it's relatively easy to eat vegan while traveling, clean vegan eating is a "horse" of a different color. Add to that the stress of a loved one undergoing surgery, and you have a recipe for what I've now discovered to be Dirty Vegan Eating . My best friend has always said, "you've got to work hard to eat clean as a vegan, because Twinkies, potato chips, and beer are ALL vegan as hell!"
So this morning I got up and started anew from right here where I am. I got in my daily circuit training, and had my clean, healthy breakfast and packed my tofu and veggies for lunch. I stopped by the grocery store on the way to work and picked up my salad fixin's for dinner the next few nights, and I'm G-O good to G-O go!!! I love the way my body feels when I'm eating lean and clean - what better motivation to get right back on track after a weekend trip to the dark side?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I can honestly say that I know more than the average person about health and wellness. Reading and studying and learning about nutrition and fitness have been a huge part of my life for the past 10 years. Because I still don't have all of the answers, and quite truthfully, probably never will, my thirst for knowledge remains unquenched even after all this time.
In spite of the knowledge base I have, I am cautious about sharing the information so as to never be perceived as a know it all, constantly pushing unwanted or unrequested information on others. I tend to make it known that I have info that I am willing to share and then wait until the person is ready to hear it.
My point today is actually about my sister. For the past 10 years she has struggled with her weight in ways that are still foreign to her. She broke her leg and then had major complications that led to a permanent disability and an increase in body size and health problems. She has sleep apnea and gerd, so she currently requires both a CPAP machine and a prescription for Nexium. Recently the insurance company changed the tier structure and made the Nexium ridiculously expensive.
Last night she said, "Well, it's time to shell out the Nexium money again." And my reply was, "In the next year, we are going to work to get you off of both the CPAP and the Nexium. The root cause of both is your extra belly weight, and we can manage that." And then I stopped talking to see what her response would be. I think she was shocked that I had held the mirror up to her face, but with a solution attached to it. She said, "Yes, we can. It is manageable, isn't it?"
As I grow healthier, I want my family members to be healthier as well. I must remember that my enthusiasm is not their enthusiasm. I must remember to plant the seeds in carefully cultivated soil and allow them to germinate without digging them up to check the progress. I must remember to nuture them diligently, but with care and caution. I am spreading the spark with a lovingly gentle and open hand.
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