Slow Down, or Else!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Or else the the Lord may have to Get your Attention!

And boy, has He got mine!

I've had a lousy-busy-not-moving-forward New Year so far. Well, not every day. But my life has hit a Spiral Of-out-of-Control-Proportions. And I LET it happen to me.

- It starts with getting tired of fighting / nagging the boys to clean up after themselves, or finish their chores. So you "finish" everything up yourself.

- It starts with not standing up for yourself and your own opinions - which explains why there is golden oak flooring, bookcases, baseboards or any wooden purchase made in my house...I hate golden oak.

- It starts with preventing arguments, and tension, so you run yourself crazy picking up messes like plates, mugs cups, socks (inside out) wherever in the house, 'cause it's no big deal to males!

- It starts with being the good mom who volunteers & before you know it, your chairing this and secretary of that and if another parent who likes their name in the minutes "says" they volunteer to run the fundraiser, but backs out, you just carry on and do business; why bother saying anything.

- It starts with adding work outside the home to have some extras, to have fun money, but you can't spend it - gotta save it & can't agree that replacing the broken couch is a justifiable expense.

So you juggle work. You juggle getting three boys off to three different schools in an hour & a half. You do the laundry. You do the cleaning. You do the grocery shopping. You do most of the cooking and prep work and always the clean up. You do the parent signing and authorizations. You do the paperwork and the bill paying. You do everything. (Now understand that my husband does do a lot more than most. He cooks many times during the week. He cleans the bathrooms. And once in a while, he goes grocery shopping - though he leaves half stuff off the list and I go get the rest later in the week).

I guess I've let all these things fester for years because I hate confrontation. I grew up in a home where I was yelled at and degraded a lot. Unfortunately, I have allowed myself to be a door mat and I'm training my boys by my in-action.

But all of this has brought me to this lesson. Slow Down. I can't do it all. And I can't let my feelings, opinions and instructions slide in in-action or cover everyone else's mistakes by doing everything myself.

In the last three months I have been very sick three times & not well most of the new year. Twice I slept away entire weekends. And I'm not saying this as a general comment. I literally left work early on a Friday in January and a Friday in February and slept for three days. I was incapable of doing anything. I have burnt myself out so badly my body has shut down. And last week I was hospitalized for kidney stones and I slept away the rest of that week.

I've had to let go of commitments & some of my expectations. Yet my expectations have changed. The boys will and are having to finish their chores. My hubby has to clean up after himself. They have to help with grocery shopping and cleaning up. I am physically unable to do it myself.

The good Lord heard my cries for help. But he had to make me physically unable to continue, in order for me to see that my over-working was what was enabling all of my grief points.

It is a tough lesson. Please learn from me. I think I can honestly say I have a glimpse of Chronic Fatigue (or may even have it now). I have doctor appointments almost every week for the next month and a half. I'm kind a worried because in my mind, I've done this to myself. This mess of Fatigue and physical exhaustion is because of my inability to listen to the Lord and back off the doing. I didn't let consequences teach those in this home about their habits. Now the males of this house HAVE TO learn these lessons quickly, because Mom has to go lay down & nap again.



A tough lesson. But I have grown so much in it. So no matter that this lesson has been hard won over these last two decades, I praise the Lord for never leaving me nor forsaking me, for I know He has carried me.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 3/31/2011 11:20PM

Because you have accepted responsibility for part of the problems that are going on in your life, you are on the Road to Recovery! You eyes have been opened. May God bless your family as there are many changes ahead. Sally Report Inappropriate Comment

CHLD_OF_GOD 3/24/2011 10:41PM

Are you sure you weren't writing this about me? :) I was so sick this winter, and yet, I still didn't get any help... perhaps I didn't learn my lesson? Report Inappropriate Comment

MARCELLA2012 3/21/2011 10:47AM

Thank you for your honest blog. I am so thankful you know that the Lord wants to continue to carry you, yet He does want you to find the healthy balance as well. May you seek both Him and balance and find both! March Report Inappropriate Comment

Its all just Attitude!

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Noting a few points to consider that I glanced upon today:

1) The way I talk to myself can be hurtful. Instead of saying "I can't," I need to replace it with "I wish." And as for "I'm a failure" (one of my favs), I need to say "I didn't succeed this time."

2) Be Positive - it's about focusing on what can be - rather than what is; on things will get better (really, they usually can't get worse). It's about understanding that my attitudes can directly affect outcomes.

3) Most importantly - a Grateful attitude = gratitude! It's not having what you want...It's wanting what you've got



You can complain because roses have thorns. OR you can rejoice that thorns have roses - Ziggy

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 3/8/2011 3:45PM

I needed that!!! Thanks for sharing! Sally Report Inappropriate Comment

ABIGAILSING 3/5/2011 10:53PM

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26M8J7 3/5/2011 10:42PM

Great points, thanks for sharing. Report Inappropriate Comment

SWAZY33 3/3/2011 9:58AM

Thanks Nita, Been having a horrible stressful week here at work and keep reciting the serenity prayer and your words are correct..there is no failure in trying... only quitting. Although I have considered quitting this week! I'm still here and trying to work toward a positive outcome:) Report Inappropriate Comment

BUSYMOM911 3/2/2011 2:57AM

I really need to remember these points. I saw something on another page that I saved. When I read your blog, I thought of it: FAILURE IS NOT AN ENDING- JUST FEEDBACK. Thought you might like it. Report Inappropriate Comment

USFBULL 3/2/2011 12:50AM

Enjoy the present Report Inappropriate Comment

LOSE4LIFE47 3/2/2011 12:49AM

You are right--we all need to have positive thoughts & what we say should be positive. Report Inappropriate Comment

STOMP...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Last weekend, my husband and I enjoyed a wonderfully entertaining, and comical performance of "Stomp". This percussion group of "athletes" danced, stomped and made music by hitting, tapping, clapping, stomping, their hands, feet, sticks, brooms, barrels, garbage cans (and lids), signs, lighters, and more, for an hour and forty minutes. Wow.

It was an awesome date night! We went to the 5 o'clock show...for free. Six of the eight performers we saw we were working out at my boss's private gym/health club last week. In exchange for gym passes, the staff got tickets to the show. Because I was the main contact for their manager, my husband and I got front row - exclusive orchastra seating. I hadn't laughed and enjoyed myself that much in a long time.

And the best part was, I had wanted to see the show, it was sold out in 2 hours, and I've been praying for some new ideas and fun things to do with my hubby. A marriage is only as strong as what you put into it...and I knew we needed to make time every week for each other.

And God provided last week in an amazing way. Lord. You truly are the Great Provider.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 2/18/2011 9:21PM

So glad you got to see that show with DH! Report Inappropriate Comment

ABIGAILSING 2/14/2011 10:07AM

AMEN! Sounds great! Report Inappropriate Comment

CHLD_OF_GOD 2/13/2011 9:56PM

Sounds very interesting. Since our move here to MA, Tim and I haven't had any special date nights. I only know of one person to babysit, so I haven't asked her to babysit for a date night. She did babysit for me while Tim was in the hospital, which was a HUGE help. :) Report Inappropriate Comment

MARCELLA2012 2/13/2011 8:00AM

What a great opportunity and a fun time with hubby! God is so GOOD. Our marriage always strengthens as we spend time together. Report Inappropriate Comment

It's a Journey.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Since I started this journey in Sparks, there has been many ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Unfortunately, there's been a lot of down lately...down in the exercise minutes, down in the nutritious value of the food in-take, down in the amount of sleep I've been getting...and up on the scale. Ugh.

This past year has been fraught with more work hours than I signed up for; more volunteer headaches than a paid accountant would want; less sleep; less acceptance from extended family--nothing really new; more mess in the house--less importance on the mundane; more busyness from varied interests of my growing boys; less control as they continue to grow up; more peace as a I rely on My Strength and My Shield--My Rock and My Salvation.

And so I look forward to the new year with excitement. I'm still down 15 pounds from my original high. I have some amazing friends who I'd love to physically meet one day (hey...I've found one of my goals from my main page :) And I'm more optimistic than I've ever been in my life.

Life is good. And I'm excited about my continued journey!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABIGAILSING 1/8/2011 1:02PM

I'm with you, girl. I want to lose the weight, but life seems to get in the way of that. BUT I am feeling better, doing better, eating better, getting healthier. I have maintained my weight where it is for a year. That is good. Now like you, I press forward on the journey, blessed to have friends like you to spur me on. We can do this. Let's go! Report Inappropriate Comment

SAL1512 1/1/2011 6:43PM

I am so encouraged by your positive spirit! Report Inappropriate Comment

SWIMLOVER 1/1/2011 9:18AM

This is a Journey! We are all in this Healthy Journey together! We Can Do This! I also want JESUS who is my Rock, my Shield and my Salvation to be LORD over every area and aspect of my life. I want HIM to be the LORD in control of my life. I know 2011 is going to be an healthier year for all of us! I am also excited about my continued journey! I am excited about our continued journey! Happy New Year and May The LORD Bless this year for you! Louise Comment edited on: 1/1/2011 9:20:06 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

"Chocolate" Nuggets of the Day:

Saturday, December 04, 2010

If I'm looking at the christmas chocolates everywhere, these are the nuggets that I need to choose to nosh on:

1) We are all manufacturers. Making good, making trouble, or making excuses - H. V. Adolt

2) To reach my goals, I have to really want them. More importantly, I have to really believe that I can do it.

3) Every priority in my life needs to justify why it's there. If I can't come up with a good reason that actually comes from me, maybe it doesn't belong.



Now Nita...Focus

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 12/11/2010 6:31PM

It is so hard to resist all this food everywhere and then chocolate on top of it all!!! Thanks to Sparks, I learned about dark chocolate and I am developing a taste for it. Report Inappropriate Comment

DIANE7786 12/4/2010 1:05AM

The great quotes will help through the holiday season. A few pieces of dark chocolate is healthy. Keeping our health priorities is healthier. Report Inappropriate Comment

GIVEUP30 12/4/2010 1:01AM

usual I would want to go get some chocolate to eat but I am doing so much better this week... for you too... Report Inappropriate Comment

FRIENDOFBACH 12/4/2010 1:00AM

Wow! I'm glad I'm upstairs. Just looking at this is making me hungtu, Report Inappropriate Comment