Monday, January 19, 2009
I've been trying to lose weight for -- oh, about 36 years now. That's when I met and married my wonderful husband.
Before that I had an exceptionally great figure -- and I flaunted it. I had lost respect for men in general, because it seemed no matter who they were, they'd stop and stare. And I enjoyed it!
Then I met my dear husband, and I realized that men can be wonderful and trustworthy and kind and good. And I was ashamed of who I had been previously.
I started putting on weight. I don't know if it was because of the good, settled life, or if it was because I ws ashamed of who I had been and didn't want to be that person anymore. And I tried to forget the past.
The other day when I was soul-searching, I realized that even though I had prayed for forgiveness (Yes, I'm a Christian) I had never forgiven myself. And until I gained personal forgiveness and learned to love myself, I would continue this bad behavior towards my own body -- that of punishing it with bad food, little exercise, and only nominal toiletry.
Forgiveness is my key! When I treat my body with the same respect I do other people, I will start changing my self-destructive behavior. And with this insight, I am starting it now. My body has never let me down unless I have hurt it. I know now it is a very choice gift to me, and I WILL start treating it with love and respect. It isn't my body's fault that I flaunted it! It is my emotional side that was at fault.
I pledge to myself, now, today, that I will treat it with love and respect, as it deserves. I'm glad I'm finally able to recognize that and forgive myself. It will change my life.
Monday, January 12, 2009
On January 1st, I weighed 205 pounds. On January 12 I weigh 198.6 down 6.4 lbs. I've done that before. Then I go eat to celebrate. And I un-do everything I had accomplished. I'm not going to do that this time! Food has served as a "reward" for me all my life. Well, this time weight loss is my reward. And I want more and more of that reward. I think I'm finally starting to figure out how that is done and it is NOT by eating to celebrate. This time I'll celebrate by spending a little more time on my treadmill without thinking about all the work I "should be doing," and I'll take time to plan menus, not stand in front of the refrigerator nibbling on cheese while I try to decide what to fix for lunch. Then I'll see how much good I can do so I can celebrate again next week.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Hi Everyone. I've not been around for a few days, but I've gone back and read a lot of the posts. You know, we're all really in the same boat. We all respond to stressful issues by wanting to eat. And why not? We were programmed from birth. If we cried, we got a bottle. If we fussed, we got a bottle. If we had a bellyache, we got a bottle. As we got a little older, we got a sucker if we were a good girl (or boy) at the doctor's, the dentist's, or even at a friends house. Or a snack after school. Or a cupcake to keep us quiet while company was over.
As we got to our teen years, a date ALWAYS involved going out to the cafe or junk food joint to get a snack with our boyfriend/girlfriend. When we were in our courting years, dining out was the BIG event! And a show, with popcorn, candy, and a soda.
I could go on and on, but the point is, all our lives we have had food offered in response to every emotion all emotions bring stress, be it good or bad.
I think now is a time in our lives when we really need to evaluate what is important to us, not rely on past responses. I, for one, have been "digging my grave with my spoon." I suspect I'm not the only one doing that. I really must evaluate if I want to live to eat or eat to live.
I am 73 years old far older than most of you. But I, too, suffer from depression and am on anti-depression meds. I am diabetic. I hope most of you aren't yet, and I pray you don't become diabetic. I, too, am overweight, by about 70 pounds. You can see why it is so important for me to start re-evaluating what I am doing to myself!
Let's each take some very, very private time to think about even write in our journals about who we really are deep, deep inside; what we want to accomplish while we're here on earth; what is keeping us from it; what we can do about it.
I know, we get down and positive thoughts aren't even WANTED. But that's the time we really need to think. We are each individuals, different from any other, and no-one else has our composite experiences. We are unique! Let's be what we want to be, even if is hard. Even if it is an extreme challenge. Don't let circumstances or associates (family or otherwise) dictate who we are!
By the way, I weigh 202 pounds, but my figure is 36-24-36! It's just buried under a layer of fat right now!
Hey, guys, you are each special! Don't let anyone else, or hard circumstances, tell you otherwise! Be what you can and want to be!
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