Wednesday, October 22, 2014
I am now officially a Mrs! I had my dream wedding with my dream man on October 12th. After 15 years of knowing each other we finally tied the knot. We probably should have done this years ago but I was a different person back then and made bad choices in relationships. We only just started dating a couple years ago.
We had a wonderful beach wedding in Florida and perfect weather. The day itself was so wonderful. Having a very small wedding is the way to go! There was very little stress. I was unhappy with my hair but I was able to rush through and redo it myself. Ceremony went off without a hitch and dinner went great too. We just went to a restaurant and we both ended up ordering burgers for our wedding meal.
We had 3 days after the wedding at the beach and it was so nice to relax. We went grocery shopping so we weren't eating out for EVERY meal. We also went for walks every night and swam in the ocean a bit. The last two days we went to Universal in Orlando. Thursday we seriously probably walked 8-10 miles. We walked 5 miles just to and from our hotel to the park and then all around the park all day. My legs were sore, I had blisters all over and then did it again the NEXT day but with slightly less walking.
Since it was our honeymoon, I didn't worry about how many calories I was eating. I had butterbeer flavored ice cream, burger fries and a shake for dinner, and then we ate at a buffet one night. Oh and I also had two frozen Starbucks drinks. Stuff I normally don't allow myself at home. On our way back we stopped in Atlanta to visit friends and had an amazing ranch burger (I love burgers but try to avoid them usually) and indulged in way too much beer.
I got home and weighed myself and I was actually 1 pound lighter than when we left! So I maintained or lost about a pound. The past two days I haven't had time to go to the gym and today I may not either but I have a ton of leaves to rake which is a workout in itself.
I'm back on the healthy eating train of yogurt for breakfast, salads for lunch, carrots and apples for snacks, etc. I'm trying to get right back on track because if I don't, it'll go into multiple weeks of being off track.
Here's some photos of our great day
Monday, October 06, 2014
This past January, I had a falling out with a friend of mine. It was over the smallest comment/joke (I said I was so full I felt like throwing up) that escalated into her saying all of these awful things to me, calling me an attention whore, saying I'm a bad friend, etc. I had no idea how to react to these hurtful things she was saying so I chose to not respond at all (it was in an email the next day). I was confused and flabbergasted how she could fly of the handle like that but at the same time she did it once before years prior and we didn't speak for a few months. I thought I was taking the better route not responding and hurtful emails continued.
After speaking to my fiance and my therapist I decided it was best to end the friendship and no longer be friends. I never said one hurtful thing to her. I am not that type of person. The one problem is that we had a mutual friend in common that we were both quite close to. I never said one word to this mutual friend other than "We had a falling out and aren't speaking to each other." I didn't want her in the middle of it.
What is hard is that ever since then, the mutual friend has become very distant. I've done my best to not bring up the friend or any of the drama. If I hear she's seen her, I am supportive. I don't want her choosing sides and think they should still be friends. I just cannot be friends with the girl. My friend had a birthday party this weekend and posted about it on her blog this morning. I commented "I wish I would have known, I would have loved to be there." and was hurt I wasn't invited. She sent me a text and said "Anne was invited so we couldn't invite you. She was really upset when you were invited to our bonfire last month and she wasn't." I was like "Okay, I understand. Just so you know, from my end of things, I'm okay being at the same event as her. I can be civil, not cause drama. I would just smile, say hello and talk to other people." She responded back with "She's still not ready to see you."
I'm sitting here sorta like, really? I'm 31 years old, the former friend is 37 years old. We are adults, we are not high school teenagers. I'm being made to be the evil one and all I did was say I was full from a delicious meal!
It just makes me sad that I'm pretty much losing the mutual friend because of this. We used to do breakfast once a week and now we don't anymore. I guess, I should just move on and realize that I do have other friends out there. It's just hard when it's something so ridiculous.
That's my vent for the day.
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
Woah. What happened in the last 24 hours to me? Yesterday for lunch I had a sandwich from Jimmy John's. It was just a basic ham and swiss and not one of their huge ones but still I rarely order out for lunch. Then for dinner, I had Wendy's. I have not had Wendy's since January of 2013!! I blame my friend. I was ready to go to Tropical Smoothie Cafe and get a light sandwich and a water from there but he wanted Wendy's. My PLAN had been to get a side salad and a baked potato. Somehow I walked away from the counter with a Son of a Baconator, small fry and small Dr. Pepper!! SAY WHAT!?
Then this morning, I'm grabbing a banana and a yogurt and there I see my car keys on top of a Krispy Kreme donut box. I look in it and there is one (thank god only one) donut. It's a GhostBusters themed donut with a marshmallow filling. My lovely fiance bought it for me. I love him and he knows I'm watching calories but he wanted to share at least one with me. So of course that's my breakfast.
My lunch today is not the hard boiled egg and apple I brought. Nope. It's a ham and cheese omelet, hashbrowns, and wheat toast from the diner down the street from work. I met dad up there.
So...just about ALL of my poor decisions were based on other people. I'm not blaming them by any means. No one stuck a gun to my head and said "EAT UNHEALTHY!!" It's just hard to say no to delicious amazing food and stick to my boring food I eat, day in and day out.
My wedding is 11 days away. You'd think I'd be the strictest right now but I've just fallen off. I even skipped my workout yesterday! I'm NOT skipping today. No way.
What has gotten into me? Well I'm really anxious and scared about my work situation. I almost got another job but turned it down to stay where I'm at with the hope that things would improve. We had some good signs and orders when I turned down the new job, now that stuff has changed or been put on hold. I laid 5 people off on Monday. I have more to lay off this week. I processed two paycuts for payroll today. We laid off 12 people in the past two weeks in addition to the 5 I just laid off.
Emotional eating at it's best. Everyone comments how calm I seem about work and how happy I am. I'm focusing all of my energy right now into the wedding and just being excited and happy about that. However, once I get back the $h!t will hit the fan. I need to take my emotions and workout instead of eat.
So now that I've rambled about that. Let's move onto October! Yay!
I love October. I love the fall leaves, I love the cider mill, haunted houses, Halloween parties, halloween costumes and passing out candy. I'll tell you what I hate about October, the cold weather and Pumpkin Spice everything and everyone obsessing over it. Sorry, not a fan.
Okay so my plan:
Gym twice a week (except honeymoon week but walks on beach every day)
Eating out once a week (except honeymoon because it's my honeymoon!)
Resist Halloween candy
Look for new job.
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