So instead of focusing on the scale, I'm going to focus on how my body looks and feels. I was recently very happy that I was able to fit into size 10 dress pants from Target. This got me excited thinking I may finally fit into the size 11 faux leather pants that I bought YEARS ago.
Sadly, they do not fit. The difference between women's sizing and junior sizing is major. I'm still a 12 in a lot of items but some 10s do fit. The size 10s that I bought recently are higher waisted. These faux leather pants are the typical low rise pants.
My goal is to be able to fit into them by the end of September. I took a photo of me in them and I'm hoping to that a month from now I will see some progress, even if it's not me able to wear them yet but some visual progress. It's scary posting it because it shows how big my stomach really is but maybe this is what I need.
One downside is I hurt my toe at work so cardio is out for a few days. Thankfully it's not broken so it will heal quicker than I expected. I honestly thought it was fractured but the x-ray says it isn't.
I know I mentioned them in my last blog but I'm doing it again. I'm very excited to be able to fit into them. I was 159 today which is much better than the 162 that I was on Sunday.
Monday I didn't workout but I did about 30 minutes of yard work (pulling weeds) in 90 degree temps so I was sweating like crazy and it was a lot of squatting so I'll consider that a workout. I also started to prime/paint our spare room. It's this horrible maroon color my ex picked out years ago that I never liked. We're doing it just a boring gray but we're going to make it a baseball/Tigers room and if we ever have kids it should be easy to make into a nursery by keeping it gray and just add certain colors for accents depending on if it's boy or girl.
Tuesday I had planned to go to the gym but it was so beautiful I opted not to. Instead I went for a 2 mile walk. It took me about 28 minutes so that's about a 14 minute mile. It was all walking so I consider that pretty good. I remember when I first started going to the gym 3 years ago that a 15 minute mile had me huffing, puffing and coughing because it was so hard to do. Now a 14 minute mile is a pretty leisurely mile for me. I also did some chest and shoulder exercises and just a short bit of abs.
Today I think I will go to the gym and want to do intervals of walking/jogging on the treadmill for at least 20 minutes and then focus on lower body.
I am not making big goals for July. My main goal is to just keep being active as a regular thing and hopefully fit into more size 10s!
This morning the scale said I was 162 pounds. If I measure myself by the scale only, it means that I've gained weight. I'm up 7 pounds from where I was last November/December. My lowest was 155 pounds. It is so frustrating to see that 6. I HATE the 160s. My goal is 140s but I'm content with the 150s. I remember working so hard to see 159 and when I did I was so happy and that was a long time ago. So being up, sucks.
However, I've learned not to trust the scale. I measured myself April 29th and now today, June 29th and I've lost half an inch around my stomach, the fattest part of my body and an inch around my waist. My neck I lost about a quarter inch but did gain a little on my arm.
I've been doing cardio and weightlifting. So that's why I say DON'T TRUST THE SCALE. I'm heavier but my body is SMALLER.
I tried on a pair of size 10 pants today and they fit! I usually never even attempt them but I was trying to not spend money and since they didn't have 12s I was like "I'll still try on the 10s and they won't fit and then I'll be frustrated and leave without buying anything." They are a tiny bit snug in the crotch area but around my stomach they fit good!
I also felt really comfortable in the dress I wore yesterday for my cousins wedding. It was skin tight which normally I don't like but I felt like it was a bit like wearing spanx and it held my fat in. Here I am feeling sexy and thin!
I think my new goal is not going to be "lose 10 more pounds" but drop down in size. I can fit 10-12. I would love to eventually be a 6/8. That's my goal. I just want to be in single digits, who cares what the scale says.
Today I feel comfortable in my own skin. Most days I feel insecure and fat and just uncomfortable. The way my thighs touch when I walk or how my elbows rub against my stomach when I'm sitting at my desk at work. I'm very aware of the extra weight on my body and I usually just feel uncomfortable.
For some reason today, I don't feel that way. I feel content and comfortable. I am sure it won't last but for today I will take it. I still have more weight to lose but if I can focus on just being comfortable more often I think I will be happy.
What is different today compared to other days? Honestly, I have no idea. I did have an evening out last night with great people and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was my cousins rehearsal dinner and we hung out at the bar by my house after. I think I'm finally at a point in my life where I am feeling more confident and less insecure. I'm not sure if it's because I've lost weight or if it's the people I'm surrounding myself with. I have a certain group of friends that I always feel insecure around and bad after I see them. I've been trying to see them less and less. With this group of people (my family and his friends) I never feel that way. They like me who for am, they don't judge me and best of all, I've never heard them judge others behind their backs.
Physically my body is not any smaller or different than it was yesterday but mentally I feel better so that's why I feel comfortable.
I was also told by a family members significant other that he could tell I've been working out and my BFF emailed me and said I looked "Super skinny" in a picture my cousin posted. She's in Georgia so she doesn't see me on a regular basis.
Oh and for those who read my blog a week or so ago about being anxious about the bachelorette party for my cousins fiance, it went great! I didn't know anyone other than the bride but her family and friends were so nice and welcoming. Made me feel at home and comfortable. I'm very glad I went. She even offered to throw me a bachelorette party when I said I didn't think I was going to have one because my maid of honor lives out of state.
After a lot of talk of saying I'm going to the gym and not actually going, I finally made it yesterday!
It actually felt really good to be there too. So good, I'm going back today. I didn't want to push myself too hard yesterday so I did mostly walking on the treadmill with just a few spurts of jogging during it. Intervals are good! I did about 25 minutes of that. I was going to do only 20 but Bones was on the TV in front of me and it was an episode from the first season so it was good to rewatch it.
I then did leg day. I did 90 lbs on the seated leg press, 3 sets of 12. I did 50 lbs of the leg extension 3x12 and 50 lbs of the leg curl 3x12. 70 lbs on the donkey kick machine 3x12 each leg. Then 60 lbs on the calf machine.
I typically move on and do weighed squats and sometimes weighted lunges but my legs were on fire! I could tell it had been a while since I did that kind of workout. I was dripping with sweat. My heart rate monitor said I burned 600 calories in 55 minutes! I'd say that's pretty good.
Today the plan is to do the arch trainer or elliptical for 20 minutes and then work back and biceps. For some reason just 5 minutes kills me on those machines so reaching 20 may be difficult but I'm going to try!
I have 109 days until the wedding. I really want to lose a few more pounds and get toned up by then. Not really to fit/look good in my wedding dress but to look good in shorts, tanks, and swimsuit after on the honeymoon!
Also, had a little good news at work. We've had a little reprieve with the loss of business. It's still happening but instead of in 2 weeks it'll be end of August/early September. That means 2 more months without having to lay anyone off or have my own pay cut! We're still losing the parts so it's not all good news but I'll take 2 more months of everyone working and everyone at regular pay.