Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Yesterday I started the Hobbit Walk Challenge ( www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/07/23/
walking/ ) . The idea is to track your miles in walking/running/elliptical-ing and get to Mt. Doom and back. Before you think this is a walk in the park (or Middle Earth, as the case may be), a one-way trip to Mt. Doom is 1779 miles, which will take me a year and a half if I keep my current pace (about 3.3 miles a day, or 100 miles a month). Once there, I'm going to reward myself with some kind of ring (it's only appropriate, after all), and then make the journey back.
The creators of the challenge have the journey broken down by leg (Shire to Rivendell, Rivendell to Lothlorien, etc), and have details from the book in each section (5 miles to Tookland, 98 miles to Tom Bombadil's house, etc). It's really cool because I can keep track of where I'm at in the books, and when I'm straggling on my daily miles I can tell myself that it's only a couple more til my next milestone.
Yesterday I logged 3.47 miles, which puts me a only a mile and a half away from Tookland, my first milestone. I completed most of it on the treadmill at work and finished up the last mile on my elliptical -- which is a lot more work than the treadmill. When I got home I didn't really want to work out but the idea that I'd be behind my daily hobbit travel goals motivated me to go with it anyway. I'm glad I did.
So here's to a fun (albeit a little nerdy) new challenge!
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
I'm doing much better since my last post. I've identified the problem and am working toward a better place. Thank you all for your support!
In lighter news, I had a last-minute event I needed to dress up a bit for and in a hurry. Not having time to go to the dressing room, I went to the racks of a brand I wear pretty regularly and snagged a button-down collared shirt, camisole, belt, etc. in my normal size. When I got to the venue and changed in the bathroom, everything was too big! So while I looked like a little kid wearing her mother's clothing, it wasn't a bad price to pay for the amazing realization that while the scale is taking it's time to show my progress, it shows elsewhere.
Seriously, I've never been so happy to have wasted money. Since I can't return them (strict store, plus I wore them for the whole event and it'd be weird to return them) I'm going to hit up youtube and see if I can find some tutorials for tailoring your own clothing. I'm going home in August and my mom has a sewing machine that's been gathering dust for several years now. Time to put those old home economics skills to work!
Keep moving forward! It may be a slow trek, but you'll get there!
Monday, March 25, 2013
I'm still here!
Sometimes it feels like that's my tagline to life, especially in this last year or so. I've been struggling with a deep, unshakable depression that I keep telling myself is situational, but I think that once you start keeping track in terms of years it's hard to convince yourself that it isn't "real" depression.
I'm really trying. Some days are worse than others, and some weeks are generally remembered as a thick grey haze while I'm stumped as to where the time went. I notice that I tend to feel a little better after an hour or so of cardio, but when you feel like nothing is important it's hard to convince yourself to workout.
I'm still trying. I'm still getting on the treadmill even if I don't want to. I'm still telling myself that I need to eat, loading up with vegetables and fruit despite not really tasting anything. I'm still here. I feel like I'm just going through the motions in a giant, meaningless puppet show of life, but I'm still here.
I'm still here.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
I have a big detractor in my working out. She tends to demean my every effort, encourage me to eat badly, and sneers at my mere mentioning of working out. If she asks me what I'm doing later, I have to substitute "run some errands" for "work out" if I want to avoid either silence or a tirade on how I don't need to lose weight.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how I feel stifled when I talk to her, like I can't mention anything going on in my life because she has such a short fuse and gets upset so easily. I want to be compassionate and open with her, but even compassion and kindness upsets her. I was ready to throw up my hands and walk away.
It occurs to me that we all find ourselves faced with these sorts of people. They aren't stereotypical villains or characters designed as foils to add a sense of triumph to our journey. They're real people who have very real lives, who feel emotions and have hopes and dreams. Often times they're family members or coworkers, people who we care about and want to support us in our personal improvements. Why, then, would they want to discourage us?
To say that people are just jealous is an incomplete answer to a complex issue. In my situation, the woman in question feels as though her life is not as glamorous or as meaningful as she'd hoped. She feels as though people judge her decisions and think less of her, that she has to fight for every iota of respect people extend to her. She paints the canvas of her past as a harsh and cutting tale of the world constantly turned against her. She absolves herself of all personal responsibility for decisions she regrets.
She is heartbroken. Life isn't what she so desperately wanted it to be and every wild, dramatic effort she takes to make it what she dreams has failed. I do not judge her for any of these things and I wish she could see that. I wish that all the people who try to jump in front of us, who try to drag us down because they're so afraid we'll leave them behind, could see that we're more than happy to run beside them, if only they would put on their running shoes and come outside to join us.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
I almost wish I had enough energy to eloquently express in words the frustrated, exhausted sigh I gave when I opened this blank blog post.
I'm up a whole ten pounds since my last post. The causes are the usual suspects -- I didn't make time to work out and my portion sizes were far too large. Thankfully I didn't give in to the sweets or fat-laden comfort foods -- I've successfully removed most of those things from my internal definition of "food." I don't drink anything with sugar in it unless it's the natural sugars in juice (and even then I'm careful), but second and third helpings of whole grain spaghetti and lean chicken over brown rice are still extra calories that I wasn't burning. Add that to spending 99% of my waking time sitting or lying down and you have a recipe for weight gain. I'm not proud.
I could list all the reasons why I haven't been working out -- a family member was in a serious motorcycle accident and work has been insane, requiring ridiculous overtime hours -- but those things are things that will always come up in life. I can't base my healthy lifestyle on perfectly ideal conditions, because life isn't perfectly ideal. I won't sit here and tell you that I couldn't find the time, because the truth is that I didn't MAKE time.
The good news is that I'm not discouraged to the point of giving up. Sure, it's disheartening to see all my hard work amount to nothing, but I'm a lot closer to a healthy lifestyle than I was when I started Spark People a year ago. I need only to increase my activity levels and reduce my portion sizes. That's certainly doable and I'm confident that I can turn this around in a healthy, reasonable amount of time. It's just frustrating to see my hard work undone in just a few months.
Today I ate healthy foods and worked out. I didn't push myself beyond my limits, but I did a fair amount of cardio (423 calories in 40 minutes) and a getting-back-into-things session with the weight machine for about half an hour. I know I'm going to feel it tomorrow, but not so much that I won't be able to spend some time on the treadmill. Life is full of successes and set backs -- it's how we deal with them that makes the difference.
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