Saturday, November 10, 2012
About two years ago I was on top of the world- with myself. I was losing weight, feeling great, and it honestly looked like I was going to finally hit my goal. Then I had a huge set back and BLAM, all my hard work and focus flew out the window. And when I finally got out of my haze I was heavier than when I originally started. Now try looking at a great new, smaller, more fashionable wardrobe with a big, frumpy body all over again! I was devastated and with that came the shame, embarrassment, hurt and anger.
Because my circumstances were so different from when I was succeeding I could not come to terms with what happened. All my blogs became depressing, angry, blameable, and shortly after, they stopped all together. Then life, then more eating then more shame and the circle continued.
SparkPeople has been here for me like no other. It has been my solace, my source of joy, my place of challenge and knowledge. So when I stopped reaching out I spiraled in. Into a bad place of regret, condescend, and misery. Until now.
So I am back. Even though I am starting at the heaviest I have ever been, one thing I've learned from SparkPeople is never give up. So I am blogging again. The good, the bad, and life.