Wednesday, December 17, 2014
...And I'm up 20 lbs. Granted, I've been doing strangely well at losing weight slowly and steadily, but unfortunately I have managed to get sick this year more than usual. Somehow, it seems like every time I do, I end up with something that requires Prednisone. Prednisone, you thorn in my side! I try so hard to make good choices and exercise discipline, and then, five pounds away from matching my weight from the begining of the last bout of whatever sent me to your clutches, I'm told because of my weight my asthma is being triggered and look an behold, here's that drug that makes you gain 15 more pounds! So once you can breathe again, you need to lose weight if you want to be able to breathe again! I just got home from a two day stint in the hospital from the worst asthma attack I've ever had. It is so bad I'm told they discharged me while it is still occuring because I have the ability to keep it controlled at home while it continues. For two or three more days. Guess what I'm controlling it with... copious amounts of Albuterol, which causes a sharp drop in electrolytes (so food cravings) and... you guessed it... Prednisone! And this is the most aggressive tapering dose I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I think this means that I'm going see 250 before I can actually stop retaining the extra water and compensating for everything that the drugs deplete. Which will make it more likely for an asthma attack to trigger.
I haven't been active on the spark mostly because I feel so hopeless in this cycle. I feel like I'm just complaining every time it rolls around, and I feel like there's nothing I can do to actually keep on top of my body and health...
Saturday, March 01, 2014
So today, after finishing logging my meals and double checking because I didn't believe what I saw considering that lunch was a mini pizza, and dinner was a cheese and miracle whip sammich, I found out that I was within my target range for fats and proteins, and UNDER in carbs and calories...
I don't see numbers like that, well, ever, so I get to celebrate with a coke and a beer. I double checked everything, even adding the carby beverages of special treatiness, and I'm STILL only hitting the bottom of my carb range.
But I'm not going to question the math. I'm just going to have a guilt free soda and then snuggle up in bed with the best two "CB"s to pair together: Comic Books, and a Cold Beer.
I have never been so excited by a can of soda in my life.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
or, taming my brain.
I notice, reading over my blog entries here, I seem to be much more upbeat and cheery than I ever feel in my day-to-day. Don't get me wrong, I know how depression manifests in myself, and I'm a long way from that, but in general, I'm usually more frustrated at a lack of progress or else disgusted when I have to buy new, bigger clothes.
But as I mentioned before, I know what depression does to me, and I also know that by "spring cleaning" the bad influences from my life (people and habits) and forcing myself to step back and find the things to be happy about, even when I couldn't FEEL happy about them, I was able to turn around my mind. It wasn't instantaneous. It was a two year journey after what could easily be seen, in retrospect, as the worst year of my life so far.
But the point is this. If I could change my habits and environment gradually and effectively, and force myself into the mindset I needed to beat that beast, why not find a similar plan of attack to get past this one?
And so, I try to keep this a negativity-free zone. If I REALLY need help about something, I can look for it in my teams, but here, this is my daily affirmation. I don't need to stroke my ego and tell myself I'm an awesome, sexy beast, but I DO need to force myself to consciously express the good things I do for myself, and remind myself of how it feels when I do right by me. I also need to remind myself that "negativity free" need not equate to "bubblegum-fluff."
So consider myself reminded.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Last year, a pair of mating bald eagles nested about 4 miles from my apartment, right next to the river yet in an area still considered to be the "city." This year, they're back mama laid an egg again! The local aviary set a preserve perimeter around their nest site, but also there is a web cam positioned RIGHT UP IN THE NEST.
My new stability ball and I have been parked in front of the computer. I'm just watching the webcam and attempting to train my core to use the ball for a chair for a decent amount of time. My tailbones thank me, and with a little practice, I should be able to use this whilst podcast editing to make my butt and back hurt less.
But in the meantime? Birdies!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
My hair holds 1.7 lbs of water when wet.
Seriously. Who'd have thunk it.
otherwise, not much to report. Spent most of the day in front of my computer sorting my comic book collection, but I'll be making up for the sedentary time watching my neighbor's daughter and going to a blues show at my boyfriend's bar/venue tonight, so at least I'll probably have about five hours on my feet by the end of the day. And maybe, just maybe, I'll finally have my comics all sorted out by the end of the month. I never realized just how much OCD goes into my comic collecting until I took a month away from the loot. Now I'm almost squared up, but due to a glitch on the tracking site i use for my collection, I still have a lot of paperwork left to get the database to match the physical collection again.
So. two new goals start today, and they're NOT related to my body.
1) I will take a picture of my unruly collection I will finish organizing the physical collection by Feb 28. Then I will take a picture of it to remind myself to keep up with it instead of just putting new books into my "Sort these" box.
2)I give myself until May 3rd to finish updating the database entries so that I can use the site as a card catalog again. I need a lot more time on this one, because I can't bring myself to focus on a computer for more than an hour or two at a time unless there are videos of cats, dogs, or people hurting themselves doing stupid things involved. This way, I should be able to not wear myself out and still have enough time to overhaul all the data.
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