Thursday, June 12, 2014
It's been awhile. And so much has changed (mostly for the better!). Here's the rundown:
1) Last summer, I met a guy who turned out to be one of the most amazing people I've ever met. We'll be celebrating our one year anniversary on June 30th and then moving into a fabulous apartment together (with my 4 cats!) in mid-July.
2) We are also going on vacation together in September. 2.5 days in California and 2 days in Vegas. We went to Vegas and Utah last October, which brings me to my next point...
I want to look like I did when we were in Utah again. I was about 137-140 lbs when we were there. I am now about 154. Which, while not a massive gain, is still not great to see.
The 'problem' for lack of a better word is that I don't hate how I look right now. Do I want to be more toned and have a flatter stomach and have my thighs touch less? Sure! But I also feel confident and attractive, even though I'm not at my goal weight. Which is a weird feeling for me, as I've almost always hated my body because I wasn't at my "perfect" weight. My boyfriend, in danger of sounding super cheesy, has made me feel beautiful and from that, my confidence has grown enormously.
Nevertheless, I want to drop a few pounds and a few percentages of body fat before we arrive in California. Not only to look better but to feel better and be healthier. I've fallen back into eating a lot of junk food, which is never good. So! My plan is to modify my diet, up my physical activity, and hopefully be back in 'Utah shape' for California. Essentially, I need to lose a pound a week to hit my goal. Easy peasy! (I hope...)
Saturday, June 01, 2013
2 years ago, I got serious about losing weight in a healthy way. I had gained 15 pounds in about 6 months following a few traumatic things happening and when you're only 5'4, 15 lbs makes a difference. So I signed up on Sparkpeople, did it half heartedly for a few weeks in May 2011 then on June 1st, 2011, I buckled down and got to work. Thanks to lots of motivation and support from my best friend THATBRONWYNGIRL, I lost 25 pounds that summer.
Since then, I've slacked off bad. I can't remember the last time I had a good workout streak. I will do so-so with eating but it's really only enough to maintain within a few pounds. Since October 2011, I've mostly stayed within 10 pounds of my previous low weight (139) and am currently at 144.8 but with a lot less muscle tone than I ended with.
Myself and THATBRONWYNGIRL have both gotten back into SP lately and I have felt a renewed sense of motivation but now, on my 2 year SP anniversary, I'm diving head first back in.
I've felt disgusting in my own skin, when I used to be so proud of myself. I want that to change. I want to feel cute and confident and pretty again. And that won't happen unless I take the steps that I did before.
Today I ordered some new summer clothes, including these two dresses:
I want to be able to wear these and feel adorable. Because I miss that feeling. I want to start taking care of my body again, because I've been having random health scares in the past year, and realized I'm not getting any younger (not that 25 is old...I hope!) and need to keep this body in as good of shape as I can.
I did all of this before. I just need to dig deep and find the me that existed in June 2011.
Thursday, May 09, 2013
I'm PMSing so naturally want to consume entire grocery stores in a single swallow. So far I've been able to keep it better under control than in previous months but I still haven't stayed within my calorie limit the past 2 days. Luckily, I've been walking instead of driving to get to my clients all week and have burned a decent amount of calories through that, although I also have sore feet and legs to go along with it. In a way, I'm glad the car share company I use has raised their prices because it FORCES me to walk. When I joined the car share four years ago, a car was about $4-4.50 an hour (+tax and fees) for the cheapest car. Now it's $6/hr plus tax and fees, which comes out to be almost $9 an hour. I cringe to think of how much money I used to drop on that service each month (we're talking hundreds of dollars) back when I had a nice amount of savings built up.
Speaking of money, things have been slightly better this week financially. I've stuck pretty well to a budget, having been using coupons (thanks to coupons, I was able to buy $24 worth of groceries for $1.90), cashed out 2 $5 Amazon gift cards on Swagbucks, got a $12 check from Pinecone Research, was booked by a new independent client, and have had a decent number of company clients each day. All of these may seem like dinky things, but put them all together and it's a nice step in the right direction. For the first time in years, I'm able to put money aside for savings. I'm still stressed and taking it month to month, especially because my industry is so unstable in terms of what you earn day to day though.
Now if I could just stick to my calorie count....
Sunday, May 05, 2013
I haven't written a blog since mid January and up until about a week or so again, was also infrequent with tracking food. So what have I been up to the past few months?
Basically the winter kicked my ass. I tend to get very hibernate-y when I'm cold and I work outside so I spent from late November until late April absolutely freezing ALL OF THE TIME. On top of that, I was more depressed this winter than I've been in years. Nothing really particular started it, just a general displeasure with where my life is at the moment. Mainly disappointment that I don't have a 'career' and no degree (despite 4.5 years of college and more than enough credits to have a degree. LONG story). Along with all those feelings came not caring how I look or my health. I lived on take-out and junk food, never exercised beyond the walking for my job (admittedly a good amount--2 to 5 miles a day), and felt just generally gross all the time. Somehow I managed to maintain my weight between 146-151ish.
At the end of March, I found out that my most lucrative clients were giving their dogs away for adoption and no longer needed a dog walker. They gave no advance notice and literally overnight I lost 1/3 of my monthly income. On top of it being a very slow period for the company I work for. To say I was stressed would be an understatement. I spent a few more weeks in denial/depression.
Luckily the weather is starting to warm up here and I'm feeling A LOT better mental health-wise. Business has started to pick up a bit, though not enough to cover all of the hole left by the aforementioned client and I've picked up some side clients who are not associated with the company I work for. I finally sat down last weekend and did a budget. Last week, I only got take-out once (before it was 4-6 times a week) and have been cooking at home/bringing lunch to work. Not only has it been saving me a buttload of money, it has cut a ton of added salt and fat out of my diet. I feel much better physically than I did during the winter though I am still struggling with my sugar intake.
I'm trying to both stick to a grocery budget ($30/week plus one take out dinner a week) and add in more fruits and vegetables. I eat 80-90% vegetarian most of the time and while it is often healthy, I have been eating a lot of carb heavy things even after cutting out take-out food. I also am trying to get more exercise in, particularly strength training. With all of the walking I do, I anticipate I'll see a bit of a weight drop just by cutting the junk out of my diet but I do need more strenuous stuff to accelerate the weight loss.
My aim is to reach by goal weight (125lbs) by late August/early September. I believe I can still do it, as it's only about 20lbs but ANY weight loss will be completely welcome and I won't beat myself up if I have only lost 10-15lbs by that point.
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