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NEW_ME_FOREVER's Recent Blog Entries

Day 6,7, 8 Still fighting!!

Monday, September 30, 2013

Hi emoticon

Things have pretty much been the same I still binge, but I'm still pushing through because I know eventually my binge eating will improve if I keep focusing on my goals and staying positive. I don't expect to be perfect and I don't expect to change over night. I know that I've tried to lose weight over and over again and I know I need to change somethings to conquer my goal and get through this tough time.

I applaud all my sparkfriend that are doing well on their journey and also those like me who struggle daily but continue to push. Let's reach our goals together and celebrate often for the non scale victories along the way emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMREITE 10/2/2013 12:23AM

    Stick with it. it will get easier. eventually tou will find something that makes you feel better and more compete then binging.

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OKOBOJII 10/1/2013 10:51PM

    You can do it! Just stay positive and give yourself opportunities to win :0)

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LINDA! 9/30/2013 10:21PM


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Day 5 or 60 ED....

Friday, September 27, 2013

Hi emoticon

Day 5 for me started out like all the others I eat healthy during the day, then I get home and it's down hill. Got home for worked and binged on sweets which is my weakness. And the sweets was not something I bought so it wasn't like i was planning on eating them, but when I seen them I couldn't resist.

I managed to push threw the same feelings...failure and feeling like my eating ways will never change no matter how hard I tell myself Im going to eat clean....and managed to get in a very difficult workout. I printed an at home circuit workout that looked fun, but it made me feel worse mentally. The routine seemed easy but I guess I didn't realize how much weight I've gained and somethings I use to do I can't do as well.

It tore my confidents to shreds, but I manged to finish the workout and Iam proud of myself no matter what. I struggle daily but I keep faith and tell myself one day you will get through the woods peak out and never look back. I will get through this and I will conqur my eating disorder and obesity.

Later that evening I had another binge at bed time. Its sad but it's the truth and I take blame for everything I put in my body. I first ate a healthy snack fruit and whipped cream, but I felt hungry after and wanted more to eat so I chose unhealthy food instead of something healthy.

Bare with me sparkfriends I will improve I will get better and it start here daily with me writing blogs, my public diary, about my daily struggles and accomplishments. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOCALGAL 9/28/2013 2:34PM

    Don't stop trying! If you are like me, it takes a Lot of attempts before I can get real a streak going. I'm working on one now. It's Never easy but no matter what do not quit!

Have you had a chance to read the first SP book about positive spirals and how to get a streak going? it was a lot of Ah Ha moments and a real help to me.

emoticon emoticon emoticon Keep Sparking!


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IMREITE 9/28/2013 3:26AM

    i also can do really well all day at work and then want sweets when i get home. i do get frustrated when i do some yoga poses because the weight i gained prevents me from fully getting into them. but i keep doing what i can trying to appreciated my body for what it can currently do and not punish it with food.

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NEVERORNOW 9/27/2013 9:57PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DAWNOFCHANGE 9/27/2013 9:47PM

    Sorry to hear about your binges, but don't let them get you down. They are over with. Now you start another day.

Is it possible to rid your house of all the sweets and unhealthy foods that tempt you, at least until you get control of your eating disorder? I know that I find it difficult to resist sweets, especially anything chocolate, when they're in the house. So, I try not to buy them nor bring them into the house.

Another option is to find one treat that you enjoy and buy a small amount of it so that you don't overindulge. For me, I sometimes buy mini Tootsie Rolls and measure them out. They help with my sweets and chocolate cravings. I can grab a premeasured snack bag when I feel the need for a treat.

Changing our eating habits can be very difficult. It took many years to develop these habits and it will take time to break the bad ones. As far as I'm concerned, it will be a lifelong battle.

Remember, "All things in moderation." You don't have to totally cutout all the things you like to eat, you just need to cut back portion sizes and treat some foods as treats rather than everyday foods. Even taking a favorite recipe and making substitutions to some of the ingredients allows you to keep eating the foods you love with less guilt.

You are a strong, wonderful woman! You can do this! I believe in you! emoticon

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Day 4 of 60 the struggle

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Today wasn't so bad and I say that because it was a typical day eating wise. I had a healthy breakfast, snack, lunch, and snack. But after work thats another story I got home and the binging began, but I must say I know what brought on the binge eating. When I got home I planned to cook dinner but we had a house full of guest and I couldn't cook. Also, the guest brought food..not healthy food a bucket of fried chicken and all it's starch friend mac n cheese, baked beans, mashed potatoes, and coleslaw. What do I do? I waited and waited for them to leave so I could cook. Then after so long they didn't leave so I ate and I ate the chicken and crappy sides plus dessert.

Then I felt horrible like another failure that has repeated it self in the history of trying to lose weight. But, I manged to exercise and now I feel a bit better. I must conquer my eating disorder to get to my goal. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARDIC_GRRL 9/27/2013 6:44PM

    It sounds like you did pretty well for the day. Then for dinner, you had guests who brought food. I would think it would be polite to make a nice big salad to go with all that grease. It may not have been your plan, but I wouldn't think it would offend anyone either.

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TMCLEOD4 9/26/2013 10:43PM

    I know how you feel. I fall into that trap again and again. I wish I had some good advice for conquering it. All I can say is keep trying! Every good choice is a success. Tomorrow is a new day!

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MELP06 9/26/2013 3:24PM

    You're not a failure! Look at all of the positives you did for the day. We all make mistakes, it's how we learn from them and move on! emoticon

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OKOBOJII 9/25/2013 11:11PM

    You're not a failure!

Could you have gone in and grabbed yourself a healthy snack? Also - and I KNOW this can be tough - would they have understood if you told them you were trying to be more careful about what you eat and, though you love the foods they brought, they're just not able to fit into your day? Then you can cook your food.

I know it might hurt someone's feelings at first but, if they really care about you, they'll understand and support you. If they don't care enough about you to respect your decisions and goals, there's a problem with your relationship :0)

Remember, you're wonderful and worth it. Sometimes you have to assert yourself, but you'll find that it only takes one or two times before people learn and expect/respect it.


AND! You didn't give up!! You still fought for it and exercised... that's a HUGE win! It's tough to change all your behaviors at once and it won't always work out the way you want it to --- but you did the best thing you could do and got back up and kept going. Amazing!

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 9/25/2013 9:37PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Day 3 of 60 Not easy!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

emoticon Im on another journey battling obesity. Every 60 day I will reevaluate my goals, plans, and restart another 60 days.

Quick breakdown for day 1 and 2

Day 1:
I made my mind up that finally I'm going to start back being more active on spark and set some goals for myself after visiting my physician and finding out that I now weigh 300+ pounds, but the first day was hard I slept most of the day because I was afraid of binging which is what I tend to do when I start back watching what I eat. But I was able to get in a 30min walk.

Day 2: Monday was a work day I had a small breakfast and lunch and the binging began like always shortly after 3pm no workout this day.

Today Day 3

Feeling discouraged and defeated by my illness...obesity...I feel weakened by my eating disorders..i feel overwhelmed with all that Im trying to accomplish..and I feel like a failure for all the times Ive tried to lose weight but mange to gain more..Today I manged to get in a workout at home but it wasnt easy like walking. I was out of breath tired and almost gave up, but I completed the workout and manage to post this blog.

I know its never easy to start but its never easy starting over for the 1000th time either. I pray this time I really manage to accomplish my goal weight to win the battle with obesity, pcos, and infertility.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OKOBOJII 9/25/2013 4:04PM

    You're awesome for starting again... I'm right there with you :0)

Binging is an issue for me, too, especially when I'm not working. At work, I have structure where I'm not mindlessly eating to pass the time. .. it's at home that things start snowballing! Here's a couple things that seem to be helping me out, at least:

1)Do activities that make it hard to snack. For me, I'm part of a medieval re-creation group so I do crafts. It's hard to eat chips (or anything really) when you're worried about getting the grease on your embroidery floss or scribal paper. Learn to knit, crochet, fold origami, or some other activity that keeps your hands and mind busy.
It's also a great way to put off those food cravings. I tell myself "ok, if you weave three more inches, then you can get up and consider a snack." Not only does it get me farther along in my projects, but it makes me think about whether I really want food and, if I do, what my best choice would be.

2) Serve yourself one portion (or what you have planned for yourself in the tracker) at dinner. I've finally trained my boyfriend not to look at me funny when I pull out the 1 cup measuring cup at dinner. If I want another portion when I'm done with the first, I have to walk around my block (or some similar 15 minute excercise.) If I don't want to walk, I don't get the extra helping. Plus, half the time I make it around the block and decide I feel so good, I don't want more food! (Of course, the rest of the time, I pull my cup measurer back out and happily dig in!)

3)Plan yourself a treat at the end of the day. This is a crutch for me right now, but I like a warm, sweet beverage when I'm winding down... it makes it easier for me to pass up additional cravings when I know I have hot chocolate and marshmallows waiting for me at the end of the day! Plus, the built in help is that I have 100 calories that, if I really want to, I can put towards something else.

4) Never, ever, ever give up! As others have said, be positive! It can be hard, I've been there, too. I look in the mirror and not see what I want to. I've cursed myself for losing the progress I made two years ago... but today is today. You can't fix the past, you can only move forward. You're amazing and beautiful and you deserve to feel good about yourself now, and not just when you reach an arbitrary number (though those arbitrary numbers feel amazing, too!)

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NEVERORNOW 9/25/2013 3:49PM

    Today, feel like a success because you are here at SP and you are determined to change your life. You CAN do it! I was one of those people who had started a thousand times, and now I've lost 80 lbs, so I know it can be done. Just take one tiny step at a time and don't be so hard on yourself. Celebrate the successes of exercising, of eating right or tracking all your food for a day. Celebrate the good rather than focusing on the failures. And one thing that has helped me a lot is seeing my obesity not as a disease, but as a direct result of my lifestyle choices - and those choices are mine to make. With disease, we can't always do anything about it and we can end up feeling like victims. But with our weight, we have the power to change the way we are. You are worth the effort, and you will never regret the difference it will make in your life. emoticon

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ADZY86 9/25/2013 11:00AM

    Just take it one day and one step at a time. What are your goals for the week? Make them simple and do-able, so that by the end of the week you can feel accomplished. For example, pledge to drink your 8 glasses of water every day. Even if you do then binge, you can still feel proud that you've at least made a great step by getting that water in. Then once you've mastered that, you can chose a new goal.

Please don't beat yourself up about it. This whole weight loss thing is SO difficult. I've stopped and started more times than I care to recall. But the point is, we are still here. Still pushing and battling to beat this thing. And that says a whole lot. We haven't given up on life. emoticon emoticon

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EDDYMEESE 9/25/2013 12:15AM

    The beauty about our disease (obesity, being overweight) is that there IS a solution for it. So when you feel hopeless, just remember that this is a disease WITH a solution. I know it's hard. I'm at my highest weight again. The disease never goes away completely, so maybe there isn't a cure. But there is something we can do about it and it is all on us. What you can't do is expect to reach your goal weight in 6 months. Even if it takes you a few years by doing it slowly, at least you'll be there eventually. I look back at the last 6 years on SP that I continuously go up and down but never reach my goal weight...if I had just lost ONE POUND a month since I joined SP, I'd be at my goal weight now. So think about yourself - don't worry about a goal weight, just focus on a slow, steady weight loss. If all you do is lose 5 pounds a month, you'll be at your goal in less than 3 years. I know that seems like a long time, but better to be there in 3 than not at all. So you see, slow and steady wins the race!

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TOKIEMOON 9/24/2013 9:10PM

    Try not to engage in negative self-talk. Doing that always makes me throw in the towel with a Cant Do It attitude. Be kind to yourself . emoticon

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BLC 20.5 Tune Up

Monday, October 22, 2012

emoticon emoticon Thank goodness for this tune up because I need it.

On Sept. 17 I posted a 12 week plan to:

1. Determination - Believe

2. Strong - Faith

3. Motivated - Support

4. Organized - Prepare

5. Reward - Earn

We'll that was a good blueprint but not actual measurable goals. And that has not helped me at all. My tune up goals are to:

1. Track food and post CICO at least 4-5 times per week

2. Fitness minutes 225 - 300 per week

3. Strength training 3 times per week 15min or more

4. Increase water to 6 -8fl oz daily

5. Increase vegetable to 5 - 9 servings per day

6. Stay honest and committed to my team. My knee injury has set me waaay back but there are other things that I could be doing my best at and I haven't, because the injury killed my motivation and hope. I'm still struggling with pain that comes and goes but finding ways to help it.

7. Reward myself weekly emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

8. Prepare meals for last minute days and after work

Another thing I need to do is create a visual remind of my goals and sit them in the most important places: work, car, home, etc.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KBLASEN 5/19/2013 8:34AM

    I'm juicing and it really helps with getting in the fruits and veggies each day :)

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LRSILVER 10/29/2012 6:21AM

    Great plan. Woo hoo. Keep it up and you will surely succeed.

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Looking forward to watching you succeed. You can do this.

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PJMOGG 10/24/2012 2:38PM

    Very true and honest, Key..

And I agree, an injury is both a physical and mental blow. But, good for you for your awareness and coming up with a plan so you don't de-rail!

I have really struggled with hunger this week- but I know why - I have been too busy, and therefore skipped many small meals or snacks throughout the day, which have left me hungry when my blood sugar drops, and not eating as well as I also has shown on the scale..only a lb each week for the last 2 because of it...

But again, awareness, I know what I have to do to get back on track - that's what this journey is?! Right!? Being in the "present" and helping ourselves move forward!!

emoticon paula

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STEPH-KNEE 10/23/2012 8:18AM

    Great tune up! An injury isn't just a physical but mental blow and I am sorry you are struggling with that. It can definitely be a motivation killer but I know you are strong and it's clear you are going to keep pushing. emoticon

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