Monday, June 18, 2012
Why do I want loose weight? How do I want to look and / or feel?
Like every addict will tell you, you have to hit rock bottom, to have no where to go but up. The past decade has been filled with more stress and heartache than one person should have to endure. The death of my parents, the mental issues slash unusual addictions of my sons, Hurricane Katrina, Marital issues and then list really could just go on and on however I wont go into details about all of it, all of this played a part in rock bottom for me. In 2010 I was told I had to now walk with a cane after my right ankle started giving out on me causing me to fall repeatedly. This was rock bottom for me. I had now become one of those " fat" people who was so big I couldn't hold myself up. I was sent to see another doctor to see if he could help take away some of the pain. It was decided that i had to move to a lower level apartment because after surgery at my "weight" I would not be able to go up and down the two flights of stairs. Because my body was losing the ability to fight even small infection I was told if I got an infection I would more than likely lose my foot. I wanted to die but I was a coward and could not just get over with. The surgery was done and as I laid on the couch day after day thinking I came up with this thought " If i am to big a coward to kill myself, Could I be courageous enough to live again." So started the battle. So why do I want to lose weight? Well simply put because I want to live more than I want to die. How do I want to feel? Complete, healthy and happy. Through my weight loss I have attacked a lot of issues that I didn't want to deal with, however having dealt with them it has definitely aided in the process. How do I want to look? Well I want to look the way I feel happy and healthy. However for me personally I want to take away my doctors go to when ever i hurt or something isn't right there favorite answer is well I hate to tell but if you would lose weight it would be so much better. So Lets see if that is true. I am right now 67 pounds lighter than when i started 11 months ago and my foot still hurts just like it did at the start. But I don't let it stop me I just keep thinking well maybe another 10 pounds and it will stop hurting so much.