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The other side of 300

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

You wake up one morning and realize that you have lied to yourself. You are not just fat, you are not just obese no you are what they call morbidly obese. Every muscle in your body is tired even though you just woke up. The mere fact that you have to crawl up of that couch onto those two crutches to go to the rest and be out of breath when you get there is almost to much to handle. I spent a lot of time on that couch out of necessity not want. over ten weeks I put on another 30 pounds as I recovered from major foot surgery. My body hated me then for sure. Lying on the couch I decided that when I got off that couch I would do everything in my power not to go back to that couch under those circumstances. Being overweight was a habit it was safe it was easy and hard all in one. Now by no means am I at the end of my journey. However I have come a long way to get to this point right here right now.

There have been days when i threw up my hands and said I cant do this. There have been days when I thought about crawling just so the pain would stop for a moment. There have been days when I felt completely alone and isolated. But there have also been days when I felt like I just concurred the world. There have been moments of laughter that well others say why are you laughing and I would just simply say you wouldnt understand. The point is that through blood, sweat and tears I did it. I moved mountains when all the odds told me I couldnt. When people said I dont know why you keep going.

I have made it to number 1 : 299 pounds

This is an awesome number. For the better part of 10 years now I have been over 300 pounds. June the 25th is my birthday and for the first time in a decade I will not weigh 300 pounds. I know it is just one pound under but it is not one pound over that is for sure. There are other stats that are impressive to me. This process has been over the last eleven months.

My Stats:
When I started my BMI was 54.2 it is now 44.2. I have lost a grand total of 67.4 pounds. I have gone at least one size in most everything.
Back in October 2011 I took measurements now i am not sure those were right to start with but they are the only ones I have to go by

OCTOBER 2011 JUNE 2010
ARMS 17 17
WAIST 53 46.9
HIPS I couldnt measure with my tape Now they are dead on 60 inches
thigh 30.6 29.5

I started this process alone However along the way I found people or should I say people found me that have listened to me whine, moan, joke and cry. As I fought to get to 299. For those people I will be forever in your debt. I know this all may be not much for every one to celebrate but for me it is like the best thing in the world. Thank all of you that are family, friends and fellow sparkers for helping me get here. Now come on the journey now starts to get 266.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COOKIE_AT_51 6/22/2012 8:48AM

    Woot :) Keep Sparkin' ... you are doing wonderful things for yourself! emoticon

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KNIT1PURL2LOSE3 6/18/2012 12:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Keep it up!!!

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JCDROLSHAGEN 6/17/2012 11:06PM


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KATYDID412 6/16/2012 9:54AM

    That's a huge accomplishment, and you're doing great! Keep the momentum going.

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ALDNJPD1 6/15/2012 8:44AM

    emoticon I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! You are emoticon!!!!
Keep up the great work my friend!!!!

emoticon emoticon

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MELLYBEANS0919 6/15/2012 12:34AM

    Congrats!! You are doing it!

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LULUBELLE65 6/14/2012 11:36PM

    299 is awesome! What a great birthday gift to yourself! emoticon

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XPHOENIX 6/14/2012 9:40PM

    AMAZING!!!! Never say "Just one pound"!! That is 3,500 calories that you burned or didn't eat and it still counts! You are out of the 300's! I'm so proud of you! I started off at 349.. and we are proving this CAN be done! You're so awesome! When I get to 269, I'm at my halfway mark. That should be next month or so! SO freakin' exciting! Glad to have you on this journey with me! XOXO

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IMAREADER 6/14/2012 10:23AM

    Awesome! I know you can keep up the good work!

Go Newtink!

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KATIEBACH 6/14/2012 8:59AM

    way to go emoticon

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LOVEANANIMAL 6/14/2012 12:26AM

    I am so very proud of you!!!! Very proud!

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AVANDREA_ 6/13/2012 6:50PM

    Way to go!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLY-VICKI 6/13/2012 6:30PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Congratulations! I remember when I hit that magic 299 number. Its thrilling, what's even better is the knowledge that you won't be going back. Congrats again! Keep going!

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SHRINK_U 6/13/2012 5:50PM

    Congratulations! So happy for you!

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WINTERHARTT 6/13/2012 2:43PM

    emoticon You are so amazingly awesome!!!!!!! Congratulations on making the 2's! Keep going my friend!!! I"m glad to be on this journey with you!

emoticon Here is to another goal accomplished and another one set!


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AANGEL3 6/13/2012 2:33PM


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FLY0NTHEWAL1 6/13/2012 1:44PM

    WOOOO! So awesome!

That is exactly what this journey is about. Working steadily, and just taking it one day and pound at a time.
Just amazing. emoticon

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PLAYBLUES22 6/13/2012 1:00PM

    Sweetie, you brought tears to my eyes. You have every right to celebrate and shout from the highest roof top, Proud is what I am feeling for you right now and I know this is not the end of your beautiful journey

Your friend ....not on on Sparks but in spirit also

Ronnie emoticon

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Weight loss vision statement

Thursday, June 07, 2012

As part of a Challenge for one of my teams the bonus was to write a weight loss vision statement. I try to accomplish all goals put up before me. This one was especially difficult for me so I am putting it here so i can have an easier record for me to find.

A Weight loss vision statement 2012
Where do I want to be in a year? For me this process has gone far past weight loss. I want to be still addicted to the feeling of accomplishment that I get from the changes that I have made in my life. To continue to grow and learn how to be a better person. Hopefully the wounds and scars of years past have diminished enough that they are not a substantial part of my life.

Everyday begins with exercise both physically and mentally. I do not work so I am not sure how employment fits into my plan. I know everyday will be filled with family.

Installed in me from birth are core beliefs, values and emotions. I just can not say that I have ever applied certain aspects to me personally. Through this process I have started to applying some to myself. Courage to be able to say " I need help." Strength to say no and no you cant treat me badly.Honor the choices that made for myself. Commitment to my plan. Love myself as much as I love the other people in my life.

Learning everyday is a key to my success, Never quitting even through pain, Exploring new places, new food and fitness keeps this process interesting. Research leads to a better understanding of myself through my journaling and tracking.

So there you have my weight loss vision statement. I am not sure at all that this is what it is suppose to be. For me next year is to far away just like the overall goals is. So I have to stick with one day at a time. I will leave you with one closing thought ... " To thy own self be true."

How to write a weight loss vision statement

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEACHINKIDS2 6/14/2012 3:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLY-VICKI 6/10/2012 4:30PM

  You've given me something to think about myself. Thank you.

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MSCARCHICK 6/8/2012 1:37PM

    That's a great idea. My husband just had to write one for his admittance into Grad School so we might sit down and do one for our weight loss!

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WELLREDHEAD 6/7/2012 10:13PM

    Very good! I feel the same about the process being about so much more than weight loss. emoticon

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have a voice please

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Earlier this week there was a "shopping incident". I was offended and humiliated by a staff member at a local sporting goods store while searching for some new workout clothes. What actually occurred is not the important thing. The realization that he might be right that is important. As a heavier bodied person I loath shopping. I do not have the personalities for the extremes that are out there ... I am really cool with solid colors. I have the right to shop any where that is open to the public irregardless of my body'ssize. However I feel that any store open to the pubic has the responsibility to cater at least in part to every person. I push hard to lose weight and get healthy and as my body changes my clothes have to change with it. So yes when I wanted to buy comfortable new clothes solely for working out I went to a fitness place. Look I have nothing against Walmart however that should not be my only option. As you can tell this really bothers me because it has been five days sense it happened and I am still on the subject in my brain.

If the mass of this country is overweight, obese or morbidly obese then why are the big names not supporting our country's weight loss efforts. Why is I can only have a pair a Nike shorts when i reach a certain size. It is alright for me to spend a hundred dollars on a pair of their shoes but not 20 dollars on a pair of their shorts or tanks. To quote them "just do it " well I have been just doing it. However they chose to ignore my needs . We all need to feel empowered, sexy,beautiful and just like everyone I want what everyone else has. I don't look at a Nike commercial and say I want to be that sexy model I say i want what she is wearing. My point here is they should cater to the mass and not just to the minority. Proper attire is my necessity not my luxury. and look with as much weight as i have to lose I will need to change out my work out attire about every three to six months imagine all the money they are losing out on lol. If you cant support me when i am this size why would i buy that line when i get fit.

I took it upon myself to email every large name athletic company i could think of and advise them that they are leaving out a huge amount of the population. I am not someone that is going to be pushed under a rock till I get fit. However i am just one voice. If you have been shopping or watched a TV commercial or saw a picture in a magazine and said I wish i could wear that, then please find a moment and have a voice to these companies. Just ask why not why cant you make a line clothes that fits people as they try to get fit and change their lives.

Ok so now i am stepping off my soap box. thank you for reading this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XPHOENIX 6/7/2012 10:35PM

    GOOD FOR YOU BABE!! I love this! We could start a Facebook group about this... I would help you, if you like. That could get our voices heard. I have noticed this before also. I almost always buy my things at Walmart because I LOVE Danskin pants and other sports outfits they have but it would be nice if I had the money and they had it available for me to buy higher end things. So proud of you! This is just awesome! Sorry they suck and you weren't able to buy what you wanted, but I love that you DID something about it instead of just taking it. You, my Done Sister, are awesome!! XOXOXOXO

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SKYRUNHER 6/7/2012 2:58PM

    Good for you! I will have to follow your example!

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ACCT1908 6/7/2012 2:42PM

    I agree with you! I'm tired of wearing old t-shirts and cheap leggins to work out in. I want some cute Nike apparel. Now I'm mad!!! Kudos to you for addressing the issue!

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cleaning the attic per say

Saturday, June 02, 2012

My brain is racing this morning.. Firing off in every direction. So I am going to use this blog to clean out the attic and see if I can get it stop. There will be several issues here so don't get alarmed I don't bite.

Back at the beginning of May my oldest son "C" moved back in at home because his divorce got ugly quickly. I am very proud of the man he has become although if he had listened to me I could have saved him a lot of heartache and frustration. Him living at home as adult is lets just say challenging. When he moved back in He weighed 290 pounds last night when he weighed he was 258 .. you are thinking this is wonderful and yes it is if he can keep it up. He has sensible eating habits when he goes to work and then in evening all goes to hell per say. Just remember he also 21 years old. But at least he does have the knowledge to know how to make sensible choices so he is already miles above where I started.

My youngest son "J" who is 20, followed the exact path of his brother. He got married this past year to a girl you can say really is his soul mate. Now those two are pure volatile electricity. After not speaking to me for lets see 4 months ( yes i am as hard-headed as he is) I get this frantic phone call that his wife is pregnant. Really I have to do this again for the love of God didn't you learn anything however damage done and now we have to move forward. He is frantic because reality bites sometimes. Look sex is a wonderful thing Making love is even better but as with everything else there are consequences that must paid. So now it is important to get a job and further your education. This wonderful woman that you are married is now on your tail about all the things that I warned you about and now you expect me to make everything peachy well guess what I can't do it. YOU MUST DO IT. I know it sucks when your parents say to you " what you are doing right now will impact your future" I know this because my parents said it to me ( another big surprise I didn't listen either ). So welcome to adult hood where everything your parents said eventually comes back to bite you. Oh and yea just so there is no misunderstanding I am waiting for the " you were right mom". So the big bad ugly world is going to make you look for a job and it will not just give you one because you believe you are entitled. Yep here you go, you wanted to be grown so now you got it what you think of it ? Wonderful isn't it!!! But I do love you and I am sure everything will be fine.

After a rather in depth conversation with a friend this morning about HIV I feel the need to drag out my soap box and preach a little. Having a family member with HIV yes gets you nothing more than the rest of the world except more knowledge. If there is one thing I can tell you from 42 years on this earth one piece of advice that I can give you it is this . " Knowledge is empowering" the more you know the less you fear. Embrace it love it and be free from normal fears. Don't wait for the world to give it to you. Don't let ignorance rule you. In today's world there are plenty of scary things but you can overcome most of them if you just obtain knowledge of them. Don't get mad because someone exposed a child through an innocent act to the HIV virus.. Get mad because up till that point the parents never spoke of it. The threat was there all the time and if they had knowledge the fear would not be so bad.

To say this week has been trying is a huge understatement, but then all my weeks are like that. I think that is life just this week it gave me headache that my meds are not taking away. We deal with family, marital, financial and this all mighty weight loss on a daily basis just well sometimes you really do just want that Milkshake to see if it gets better even though you know it will not. So i guess the only thing to do is pull up your smaller ( LOL) big girl panties and carry on.

Ok just in case you have not gotten enough of my sarcasm this morning here is one more (lol) . I read a blog this morning " I have a beef" by one of my friends on here. On now that is funny at its best. She is ticked because of the wording "lost weight" and she is exactly right about it also ... but this makes me think of a statement that was made while on my little trip last week. I went out sporting the bathing suit and all the sudden this women squeeched ( irritating sound) "omg you look great, what in the hell have you been doing?" Really you want me to sum up the last year of my life. I said well I have been sitting on the couch eating bonbons . She said I must try that I said instead ( handed her card) try this. The card reads "" it works better. I don't know if she has or not but hey if tries the bonbons she will need the "spark".

Food Blog 6/1 . thankfully this part of the Sass group is ending. I am not sure exactly why but all the pictures of food make me feel guilty. Honestly it is like when i go to a buffet and everyone stares at me.. I think omg i am eating to much again. Irrational at its best.

Thomas light english muffin, sausage gravy ( healthier gravy Hungry girl recipe) cantaloupe and watermelon again

PB&J sandwich, banana and a few mini apple cinnamon rice cakes( instead of potato chips)

2 slices Dominoes pizza .... there is no picture of that from me I think we all know that was not a good choice. Believe me after nearly no fat I have paid the price with a restless night and nausea ..

Thanks for visiting my attic I hope it doesn't do to much damage to you ... Have a wonderful day !!!

Friends above mentioned blog linc

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XPHOENIX 6/3/2012 6:54PM

    First off, our kids will give us everything we gave our parents and more... I'm proud of how level-headed you are being. Wow. Impressive! And, you're feeling guilty for eating nearly no food? LOL If you feel guilty for that, maybe I should rethink all that I am eating. Your food choices look great, balanced, and delicious. And TWO pieces of pizza? Seriously? That's amazing. I know some people that still eat 4 or 5 and just try to work it off later or say "Oh well" to it. I think you're doing great, stop bashing yourself so much, please! :) XOXO

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Ending May and the Food Blog (SASS 5/31)

Friday, June 01, 2012

Well here we are the First day of June. I said at the beginning of May that at the end I was going to see if any of the goals were met. So here we go

1. Post goals where you can see them : Did this and found actually it does help to be able to see them every morning and Know the game plan.
2. Get to 299 ... Ok so i am at 304 if you round down that is 300 ( not really but hey it was funny) Really though back on the 15th of May I reset the goal to June the 15th. Over ten months I have consistently lost 1 to 2 pounds a week which is the healthiest way so I am not complaining ...
3.Walk 5 miles a week: Check I racked up over 30 miles this month.
4. Walk 3x a week with Leslie Sansone DVD: I am not sure that I got this one however I exercise daily and if i am unable to walk at the track then she gets my attention.
5. 10 squats 2x daily : Ok everyone can laugh here but I had to have my son show me how to do these. Once I got that down I was like ok so exactly why cant I strength train. So I set up a program using hand weights, resistant band and my stability ball for strength training here in my home since I really cant afford a gym yet.
6. Commenting on others pages and blogs is so easy for me I love reading what all my friends are doing. Although I will admit I cant read everyone's I do try to get around and see what is going on.
7. 8 glasses of water daily. check I have even got to where i dont want the flavor straws.
8. No mindless eating in the evening. The first week of no evening snacking well left me cranky but it all got better and i stuck with it.
9. 15 min. exercise while watching tv... yep did this with the boys playing some sort of game or something.
10. 30 minutes exercise daily: When i am not here on the Spark I am mobile doing something.

Other May accomplishments:
1. 1000 fitness minutes
2. became co-leader for team "lets get fit Mississippi"
3. received a popular blog post
4. Was "Done Girl Of the Day"

So all in all May was a pretty good month in retrospect. emoticon besides who can argue with 9 out 10 goals being met for 31 straight days .

5/31 SASS Food Blog

Cantaloupe ( this was some of the best I have had in a long time)
1/4 cup of cottage cheese.

More cantaloupe ( lol)
1 small plum
steak wrap ( steakum, spinach, laughing cow cheese wedge and blue plate lite mayo)

2 ounces grilled cube steak
1/4 cup each peas and butterbeans
1/4 cup of okra &tomatoes

1 serving of grilled zucchini and eggplant

1/2 serving of faux-fried green tomatoes

And there you have it. To tell you the truth it was a lot of food yesterday but it didn't even make it up to a 1000 calories. I certainly hope everyone is having a Wonderful Friday !!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLY0NTHEWAL1 6/6/2012 3:08PM

    Those meals look great, I love your dishware. It really makes a difference!

Good job treating yourself right!

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ELLEJAY7 6/2/2012 6:55AM

    Awesome! Faux-fried green tomatoes. I must try. Keep up the good work.

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RAE_LEIGH22 6/1/2012 3:23PM

    Fanatastic! Way to go, girl!

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    Congratulations on your accomplishments for May, that is awesome! You hit 1000 fitness minutes which is FANTASTIC! And you were DONE girl! Fantabulous!! Get ready to ROCK JUNE! You are doing amazing!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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XPHOENIX 6/1/2012 12:01PM

    WOW! You're doing so great! Keep up the amazing work, hun! Love this blog and mmmmmmmmmmm for that cantaloupe! Lunch looked amazing! Have a great day! XO

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MARIANNELK 6/1/2012 11:25AM

    Congrats on all of your accomplishments. You really do inspire me. Your blogs are extremely interesting and I love the addition of the meal photos. Haven't had time yet to try SASS. But it is one of my goals for June.

So Happy 1st day of June! May your healthful missions be successful and may your days go smoothly! emoticon emoticon

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