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1/6/13 Day 6 : Do you Binge eat ?

Sunday, January 06, 2013

I had to seriously think on this one. Do I binge eat ?

Binge eating is episodes of uncontrollable eating . As a fat bodied person most think I do this type of thing all the time after all that is how we get fat right. Well no that is not how I became a fat bodied person. I was taught early in life to control my emotions with food. I had the world greatest mother really. She believed that food could fix anything, it really is just a shame that she never realized that her way of fixing things was actually causing the problem. She never realized that there is really no comfort in food and it took me years to realize that it wasnt the food that brought me comfort. It was her need to make it better that brought comfort. Her dotting over me was made things better but that always came with a food attached. Do I binge eat ? hmm after a lot of thought on this question I think I have come up with the answer.

No I dont binge eat . Actually what happens is I have bouts of depression and anxiety . When these happen I stop eating all together ( i know the horror right a fat bodied person who doesnt eat ) . What happens is I wont eat till my system crashes and then I will eat some sugar thing like a candy bar or honey bun to bring it back up . Then i am alright for a while then another crash and the cycle repeats .. So then my body thinks I am starving it and it stores up all the bad stuff. Then I see the pounds creeping back up and feel guilty and so the process repeats again till finally I decide to do the right thing again .. I have gone days without eating and then eat as few as 100 calories . which is why I am a fat bodied person, your body needs a realm of things to survive and when you dont give it what it needs then your body will take what it has to survive. So do yourself a favor stop think and eat properly that is the most important key to success ..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CUINPARADISE 1/6/2013 11:15PM

    Binge eating is a difficult issue for many people...Including me. I started a new focus program for myself today; I'm focusing on portion control and eating three meanls plus two snacks every day. Today was my first day and it was a challenge, but I shall pervail!!! Good luck to you...I know you can overcome your obstacle too!

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01/5/13 Day 5: Why are you doing this ?

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Two years ago I had a serious foot surgery during that recovery I was not allowed to do any exercise and consequently gained 35 pounds in ten weeks. Every thing was miserable during that time. I had reached an all time high weight and I was done . I hated the way felt, hated the way I looked basically hated everything about life. I felt like I was at a point where I had to do something or die. That fear drove me to research while sitting on the couch and to make a successful plan on how to do what I needed to do become the person I knew deep down I was.

In the past this was attacked weight loss as something I had to do . I would loose 10 or 15 pounds gain 5 pounds and decide it wasnt worth the effort because I wasnt going to do any good any way. I never set up a support system . Basically I doomed myself from the beginning . This time it wasnt something that was for the rest of the world, it was something for me. I push and push hard because it is something that I want . I want to be healthy . I want to be sexy. I want to be that grand mother that can easily play with the grand babies. I want to respect myself. I want look in the mirror and know that I did this. I am achieving every one of those goals. Not because someone said you need to do something, but because I woke and said you have no choice but take control back .

The bottom line is if you are doing this for anyone besides yourself you are asking for failure. You have to breath, sleep, eat this process . There will never be an end to this journey for me because i will never be able just not worry about my weight, it is a constant force to be reckoned with.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LJR4HEALTH 1/6/2013 6:03PM

    Great post you are so correct this has to be done for ourselves and no one else Every time I did it for other I always failed this time its all about me and I'm having more success

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TEMPEST272002 1/6/2013 1:53PM

    Love your determination! You might like one of my favourite motivational quotes:

“Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.” Katherine Mansfield.

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JUSTYNA7 1/6/2013 9:47AM

    I find it is easier to say "no" to bad foods when I remember other members of my teams saying "no" when they don't feel like it. I find it is easier to say "yes" to start exercising knowing there are other members of my teams saying "yes" when they don't feel like it. No excuses! Just do it, for YOU. You can and this is a great motivating blog! Every positive self love decision helps you towards your goal.

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1/4/13 Day 4 : Greatest Fear

Friday, January 04, 2013

When you undertake something as large as I have the fears are by the magnitudes. The end number is so large that I cant think about that number . It is hard to believe that it is possible to loose that much weight and sometimes I tremble at the thought of it. But I have done already what so many cant or wont do.

Fear of not being able to sustain the loss once I hit maintenance stage . I am not sure I have this battle in me again so I have to keep it off and keep moving. The moving is the big thing for me. I have fought through now 5 surgeries on my feet and have been threatened with three of them of loosing my right foot. I fight to be able to walk and never take that for granted. There is always that possibility of being without my foot but I have come to terms with it and if it ever happens then i will just learn to walk a different way. But I have no intention of ever going back where I came from again . I can take the pain in my foot, I do every day but I can take being obese for the rest of my life.

How do I get up and do this again tomorrow .. That fear of being that poor little fat girl forever .. In my head there is a person that when I dont want to do this tomorrow because it is going to hurt they are on the ground pounding their fist saying come on you can do it .. take one more step .. that one step leads to a less pain and hopefully at the end of this walk of a lifetime i will be able to walk and not have pain with every step but if i do then so be it ... If it is going to hurt any way then I might as well make the best pain I can.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTYNA7 1/6/2013 9:51AM

    My "journal" has been painful the past couple of days. It's hard giving up that little girl inside that is so afraid. But I keep looking at her as the adult I am today and assuring her that someone loves her (me) unconditionally. Someone told me that FEAR stands for "Flick Everything And Run". Well I choose to be Fearless today and do it anyways. I will deal with my fears as I go. The self talk starts today that I am worth this and I can do it!

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NGCHILD 1/4/2013 12:46PM

    All you can do is take one day at a time, one step at a time.

Hugs to you!!


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1/3/13 Day 3: Thinspirtation

Thursday, January 03, 2013

This is one of the most difficult of blogs to write for me. I just have never given thought to the end of the journey or what i would like to look like. I want to be sexy again of course but i dont want to get count up a lot of what i will look like because well I honestly dont know .. I never thought I would have the success that i have now .. so to go further out is like a dream world to me ... But keeping with a realistic view of me ... the following picture is probably pretty close ..

She is full figure sexy I believe .. I am never going to be a size 2 so I had to really think on this one .. the selling point in this picture is her stomach ... flat that is what i want .. the rest of me is just fine .. at the end of this when i reach goal of 165 pounds .. my hips probably wont be her size ... they are much smaller than that now. I will never wear those heels either but that is cool I have long legs and they are great in stature . I have changed so much so far that even when I showed my drivers license to a police officer he said are you sure this is you . So it is hard to phantom where I will be in a few months but If I have to choose something then I would hope close to her ..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 1/4/2013 5:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AZULVIOLETA6 1/3/2013 8:31PM

    Why not the heels? Those are the easiest part! :)

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MARYJEANSL 1/3/2013 8:21PM

  I think she looks great...and I suspect you will too!

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1/2/13 Day 2 : How tall are you ? Really

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

I am 5 feet 9 1/2 inches tall .. I am really lucky to be tall for a woman . My height has always given a certain kind of comfort. Maybe to comfortable at times . I dont slouch because well my dad was a Marine and I can walk across the room with a book on my head . I believe it is a great height because well if i weighed 288 at 5'2" I wouldnt look nearly this good. God knew I believe that I was going to have horrific feet and would never able to wear heels so he gave me enough height that I wouldnt have to lol.

In life we are given somethings and we have to work for others. building on your strengths like your height, using that to your advantage can only help in reaching your goals. Height is one of those things you really have no control over you are going to be as tall or short as you are suppose to be might as well use it. My legs are longer than torso so there for I have a larger stride which makes walking better for me. I know this seemed kinda like a weird blog .. it is part of a challenge picture i found lol .. I think that is by a teenager ... but it has some interesting topics ...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NGCHILD 1/3/2013 10:26AM

    I'm tall too 5'9" ... heels have never been for me!!


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DANILYNNG 1/2/2013 3:20PM

    5 foot even. I always walk tall and sit straight because it just feels better! emoticon

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NEPTUNE1939 1/2/2013 11:09AM

    You shrink with age - or so they say. When I had a fill head of hair I was 6' 1", now I'm 6' 0" and bald - emoticon Have a great year, Earl

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