So I was looking for some motivating pictures this morning but I didnt see the pictures with the right words .. So I created my own ... they are some of my favorite pictures and quotes from friends that inspire me ...
As a person who lives with what most would call chronic pain, I work everyday to the day where I have less pain. For 13 months I threw everything I had at loosing weight and then changing my life. So when I woke up this morning after a good nights sleep ready to meet the world I was reminded that right now I have a handicap. I sat typing and playing on the cpu and then I said why am i doing this? I am injured yes but I am not handicapped . I can not sit on the couch and waite for someone to do everything for me. By doing that I dont feel better I actually feel worst . So I did the things that I could do . I did not push myself past any limits and I was mindful of my foot . It isnt that I know more than my doctor It is my doctor doesnt know as much about me.
I want to be healthy and do that I have to work at it. I make conscious choices everyday to ive the life that I want. And if I want to get back to where I was three weeks ago I have tackle my limitations but also continue to build up the parts of my body that I can.
Nothing is ever easy .. it was then I would have reached my goal lol ...
So if you have been following along then you know that I have had to make some changes. Back 17 days ago I had surgery to remove a mass and heel spur. The mass ended up not being cancerous thank goodness ... it was a rare condition called Ruptured Epidermal Inclusion Cyst .. which caused Chronic inflammation, Foreign Body Giant Cell reaction and Fibrosis. Ok so that is a mouthful for sure. What it means in regular terms is somehow an outer epidermal (skin) cell got on the inside of my foot , once it was on the inside it continued to grow and the rest of that stuff is what my body did to combat it. Earlier this week my first cast removed and a new one put on. On Thursday however that one had to be removed due to swelling . I was tested for blood clots and again thank goodness there were none, Now I have a boot on instead of cast which is s much better but I still have to be super careful and am not able to return to my exercise program . I am told it may be after the first of the year before I can start substantial exercise again.
Today is the first day of the 5% fall challenge. I made the choice to stay as involved as possible. Joining a new challenge team was important because it keeps me mindful of what i need to to meet my weight loss goals . Last year I would have told you that it is impossible to be under these restrictions and lose weight however I now know better. It takes a lot of dedication but it will be done. I weighed this morning (286.2) however I know that is water gain that we are working on diligently. When in this situation everything must be monitored and tweeked but I wont be discouraged by a number on the scale. I will continue on the path that i know to be right for me. Yesterday I started chair exercises for the first time in my life. This left me some sad feelings becasue i am use to sweat muscle burns .. But i am going to take the high rode here and say even those the are not my usual exercises they will keep my body stretched and use to some activity so when i can get back to my normal the transition will not be so difficult. I also try to walk at least 20 minutes on my crutches a day, this is not an easy task at all but I have been managing it . So although it may seem like I am not doing much .. my least is taking all i have right now .. I am sure it will improve as recovery continues.
B: Is there anything you need?
Me: No , I am good I think.
B: when is the last time you had a meat Pie?
Me: oh lord not in ages.
B : Ok I will bring you one.
Me: oh and some french fries.
B: * giggle * yes
Me : how about some Boudine Balls/?
B : yep them to
Me : great thanks
time went on through our visit on Tuesday evening and as he got ready to leave he said I will see you Tomorrow with you lunch ...
My husband chimes in ... He said you can come visit but Dont bring her all that Sh*t ...
This conversation didnt seem like much at the time but later in the week my brother asked me if i heard of the 1100 pound woman accused of murder. I said no .. he said well look it up .
Upon reading this I remember my friends visit and what my husband said. I spoke to my brother about this in great detail. He is right you dont get that big by yourself. Someone has to bring you the food and let you lay there .
My husband made me realize that he loved me enough to say no you cant or dont do that . When I talked to him about the story and it made me think of what happened with my friend., He said " look you are vulnerable right now because you can not do what you know you need to. He said you have come so far and you dont need people making you feel better with crap they you wouldnt eat on a regular basis. He said if the choice is here then you will eat it so I am just making sure the you dont have the option . So often it easy to say yes when we should say NO but I am glad that he loves me enough to say Dont do that to yourself.
With his careful help this week and making me stay on track I lost another pound. See it is things like this that makes it really hard to stay mad at him very long.
It is amazing how the world believes that as a fat bodied person I need to be shocked into changing my life. What they do not know however is that if it was that easy I would have done ages ago!!! I promise a person or company can not shame me more than I can myself.
I am a client of one of Blue Cross Blue shields companies. I am deeply offend that they think that the " Fat shaming" would actually do any good. The world has been cruel to over weight people for longer than i have been a live.
Back a few years ago I actually checked into having one of the stomach surgeries . And my insurance company has so much red tape to go through it wears you down before you ever start. My insurance company also doesnt cover any part of a gym membership.. Preventative plans for the obese doesnt exist. Upon reading this article I went to check out my own insurance home page which gives no reference to obesity at all.
Before everyone says it is two separate companies you are right but they still are with in the same company. If a a company takes the time to come up with that i am so fat that i dont see the effect it has on my own children maybe they should try to help in a more productive way . I like to believe that the mass of fat bodied people are like me ... I was uneducated in how to change my life. I would have and still will gladly accept any suggestive that dont go to humiliating or shaming me. I have done enough shaming to myself and have decided that doesnt work for me. I knew that both of my children followed in my footsteps ... one of them was very obese from the choices i gave him and the other lived on a life long diet believing that he could starve himself to stay thin. I am very happy say that those two same young men follow me now. My oldest has gone from 305 pounds to 241 in 8 months . the younger one now knows he cant starve himself ...
So they are right about one thing Today is the day to change your life but it should be for you .. the rest will follow ...