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And so we start the tough challenge

Saturday, October 06, 2012

So if you have been following along then you know that I have had to make some changes. Back 17 days ago I had surgery to remove a mass and heel spur. The mass ended up not being cancerous thank goodness ... it was a rare condition called Ruptured Epidermal Inclusion Cyst .. which caused Chronic inflammation, Foreign Body Giant Cell reaction and Fibrosis. Ok so that is a mouthful for sure. What it means in regular terms is somehow an outer epidermal (skin) cell got on the inside of my foot , once it was on the inside it continued to grow and the rest of that stuff is what my body did to combat it. Earlier this week my first cast removed and a new one put on. On Thursday however that one had to be removed due to swelling . I was tested for blood clots and again thank goodness there were none, Now I have a boot on instead of cast which is s much better but I still have to be super careful and am not able to return to my exercise program . I am told it may be after the first of the year before I can start substantial exercise again.

Today is the first day of the 5% fall challenge. I made the choice to stay as involved as possible. Joining a new challenge team was important because it keeps me mindful of what i need to to meet my weight loss goals . Last year I would have told you that it is impossible to be under these restrictions and lose weight however I now know better. It takes a lot of dedication but it will be done. I weighed this morning (286.2) however I know that is water gain that we are working on diligently. When in this situation everything must be monitored and tweeked but I wont be discouraged by a number on the scale. I will continue on the path that i know to be right for me. Yesterday I started chair exercises for the first time in my life. This left me some sad feelings becasue i am use to sweat muscle burns .. But i am going to take the high rode here and say even those the are not my usual exercises they will keep my body stretched and use to some activity so when i can get back to my normal the transition will not be so difficult. I also try to walk at least 20 minutes on my crutches a day, this is not an easy task at all but I have been managing it . So although it may seem like I am not doing much .. my least is taking all i have right now .. I am sure it will improve as recovery continues.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 10/8/2012 4:00PM

    Great determination!

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BTRFLY08 10/8/2012 11:16AM

    emoticon emoticon

You have such a positive attitude!! Keep it up!

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    I am glad that you have found a way to keep going with the exercising! I know your perserverence will pay off and you will have a successfull challenge!

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MOM_TO_AKI 10/7/2012 5:06AM

    I hope you have a smooth recovery. emoticon

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BOOGITY12 10/6/2012 10:43PM

    It's awesome that you are looking past what you can't do, to what you can! Keep it up!

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KBRADFORD88 10/6/2012 8:58PM

    Oh man. You are being so positive. Thank you for being on task and doing what would cause others to make excuses. Go Tink emoticon

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BESTMEICANBE51 10/6/2012 7:22PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am, so, proud of you. A Lot of people would have given up until they were back on their feet.

You are emoticon

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WYOGIRL30 10/6/2012 7:06PM

    good for you. way to keep going. Its all the little things that make a difference. Stay involved and keep your food in check and you will feel great.

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MARYJEANSL 10/6/2012 6:25PM

  Good for you for finding a way to keep exercising, even if it isn't as much as you would like. That sounds like a really nasty thing to have - I hope your recovery goes very well!

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Happy he loves me enough to say Dont

Saturday, September 29, 2012

B: Is there anything you need?
Me: No , I am good I think.
B: when is the last time you had a meat Pie?
Me: oh lord not in ages.
B : Ok I will bring you one.
Me: oh and some french fries.
B: * giggle * yes
Me : how about some Boudine Balls/?
B : yep them to
Me : great thanks
time went on through our visit on Tuesday evening and as he got ready to leave he said I will see you Tomorrow with you lunch ...
My husband chimes in ... He said you can come visit but Dont bring her all that Sh*t ...

This conversation didnt seem like much at the time but later in the week my brother asked me if i heard of the 1100 pound woman accused of murder. I said no .. he said well look it up .

here is the story

Upon reading this I remember my friends visit and what my husband said. I spoke to my brother about this in great detail. He is right you dont get that big by yourself. Someone has to bring you the food and let you lay there .

My husband made me realize that he loved me enough to say no you cant or dont do that . When I talked to him about the story and it made me think of what happened with my friend., He said " look you are vulnerable right now because you can not do what you know you need to. He said you have come so far and you dont need people making you feel better with crap they you wouldnt eat on a regular basis. He said if the choice is here then you will eat it so I am just making sure the you dont have the option . So often it easy to say yes when we should say NO but I am glad that he loves me enough to say Dont do that to yourself.

With his careful help this week and making me stay on track I lost another pound. See it is things like this that makes it really hard to stay mad at him very long.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XPHOENIX 10/5/2012 12:42AM

    My hubby would NEVER tell me no and have to listen to me whine when I didn't lose. Yours is MUCH smarter! HAHA

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SHRINK_U 10/4/2012 11:12PM

    Way to go on your pound down! And good job to hubz for helping you :)

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BTRFLY08 10/4/2012 1:41PM

    Supportive hubbies are GREAT!!!

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JULIAOAK 10/2/2012 8:25AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BESTMEICANBE51 9/30/2012 8:31PM

    I read this to my DH. I really liked it.

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JENNNY135 9/29/2012 8:01PM

    Wonderful hubby you have.

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CHANGING-VICKI 9/29/2012 4:34PM

  Sounds like your hubby is a keeper. Good going. emoticon

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Fat bodied not clueless

Friday, September 28, 2012

New fat shaming commercials article

It is amazing how the world believes that as a fat bodied person I need to be shocked into changing my life. What they do not know however is that if it was that easy I would have done ages ago!!! I promise a person or company can not shame me more than I can myself.

I am a client of one of Blue Cross Blue shields companies. I am deeply offend that they think that the " Fat shaming" would actually do any good. The world has been cruel to over weight people for longer than i have been a live.

Back a few years ago I actually checked into having one of the stomach surgeries . And my insurance company has so much red tape to go through it wears you down before you ever start. My insurance company also doesnt cover any part of a gym membership.. Preventative plans for the obese doesnt exist. Upon reading this article I went to check out my own insurance home page which gives no reference to obesity at all.

Before everyone says it is two separate companies you are right but they still are with in the same company. If a a company takes the time to come up with that i am so fat that i dont see the effect it has on my own children maybe they should try to help in a more productive way . I like to believe that the mass of fat bodied people are like me ... I was uneducated in how to change my life. I would have and still will gladly accept any suggestive that dont go to humiliating or shaming me. I have done enough shaming to myself and have decided that doesnt work for me. I knew that both of my children followed in my footsteps ... one of them was very obese from the choices i gave him and the other lived on a life long diet believing that he could starve himself to stay thin. I am very happy say that those two same young men follow me now. My oldest has gone from 305 pounds to 241 in 8 months . the younger one now knows he cant starve himself ...

So they are right about one thing Today is the day to change your life but it should be for you .. the rest will follow ... emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHRINK_U 10/4/2012 11:18PM

    I hadn't seen that commercial until clicking on the link in your blog. Because of shame I hid for years and years .. shame did not encourage me to get healthier. So proud of you for losing weight in a healthy way.. and for being a great example for your children.


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    Way to go on setting a new great example for your kids. I have three, 16, 12 and 3. I have lots of control of the 3 year old, but not as much with the other two and I let them develope the bad habits they have and Ihope that I am showing them there are so many benefits to a healthier life.

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KBRADFORD88 9/28/2012 9:21PM

    I heard about these commercials on NPR. I admit it is hard to know what was going on when they came up with these. emoticon

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HEARTSTOPPER 9/28/2012 3:52PM

Way to go!

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CHANGING-VICKI 9/28/2012 12:26PM

  I love this. Just like with hubby; the heart doctor wants him to lose weight before getting a defibulator the first of the year, but our insurance doesn't cover the hospital based fitness center in our town. And a membership for both of us is $79.00 sign-up fee then $75.00 a month (couple rate). We can't afford that. And just for him to go it's only $20.00 a month less. Still can't afford it. emoticon

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DEL-AND-COMPANY 9/28/2012 11:31AM

  I try to live by three "golden rules"...First comes your religion, mine is God. Then comes YOU becasue you have to take care of this one to take care of the next. That is everything else. That includes everybody else, too! It's hard to get past making do and doing. I know it has been for me. But one day at a time is the way to go!

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Groups vs teams : just my thoughts

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I have been part of weight loss groups over the years. TOPS and weight watchers to name the two biggest ones. These were groups. A group to me is a meeting of individuals with similar interest. These groups had a general theme of weight loss. The one big thing about these groups is the personal interaction. Most of the time there is one meeting a week. You weigh and then spend about an hour listening to someone tell you how to reach some figment number. They promise you that if you follow their plan buy their products and suffer through you will reach this goal. Time is limited so there is not much time to question the beliefs behind these theories. There are a lot smiling faces and hushed whispers. Funny how these meetings often made me feel the same way as going out to eat. A lot of polite faces with even more I cant believe she is here again. Not that they were not all nice most were but i never felt like it was comfortable enough to let down my fat shield . There were always the plateaus and the gasp like you went back seconds when you shouldnt have. No explanation of how you worked your tail off to follow some program that they designed but never made it any where close to the figment number. The favorite saying " try harder and you will get there" No one ever said I am sorry maybe this plan isnt for you. No one ever said here lets break this down and see why this isnt working for you. Oh and no one ever said here let me refund your money either. Sometimes the loneliest place in the world is in a group of people.
A team is a group of individuals who work together to accomplish a said goal. On Spark People this is the difference I believe. Here one searches out the teams that share common strengths and some times weaknesses. You find these teams and join. There is no promise of reaching a goal. However, through the teams you find support, knowledge and acceptance. A team is only as strong as its weakest link. For the teams I am own right now I am the weakest link. I cant compete in exercise challenges as I recover. However, not one team has asked me to leave because of my injury. I made the decision not to hurt one of my challenge teams and I moved to a slower paced team. But that decision was made for two reasons: 1. on a team that competes with other teams it is important that everyone be able to give a lot for the betterment of the team, to which my best will fall short right now. 2. I know me and if I feel like I am letting someone down then that becomes my excuse and I fall off into a bottomless pit of self loathing. So I removed that as a possibility. On the teams I have found here people actually talk about issues. There is actual support here. People who struggle the same as you do and are willing to discuss things to help you get past the roadblocks that stand in your way.
It is alright to belong to groups or teams to help in the process. Just for me I dont want you to chastise me because your plan doesnt work . I have come to find out through Spark People that every thing might be might my final decisions however not everything is meant to work with me to start with. We are all different striving to meet similar goals but the paths we take are often very different. When you try to fit my roundness into a square box you will find a squishy mess lol ... I am just glad that I have found the right box that i fit in. I dont function well as a group but I strive as part of a team. I am an individual who likes to be included but I am also individual to start with.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHICA125KML 9/25/2012 11:24AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JULIAOAK 9/25/2012 10:45AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHANGING-VICKI 9/25/2012 9:01AM

  Not all teams work for all people just like not all food plans work for all people. You have to find what works for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COOKIE_AT_51 9/25/2012 7:58AM

    emoticon well said

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Down but not out

Sunday, September 23, 2012

So after surgery life has definately slowed for me. An infection on my toes now means i cant use my right for any walking at all. So it is a one leg hop to the restroom and anything else i have to do. By the time i get back to the couch to put my foot back up i am litterally exhausted like i have have walked two miles in 6 minutes that is how long it takes to get there and get back. So i did a search to see if how many calories i burn in this six minutes because it had to be some lol ... Walking on crutches burns 56 calories for every 5 minutes at my weight.

A year ago they would have had to put me in the hospital. So God gave me a gift when he gave me the strength to make the changes. Because this is so much simpler than it has ever been before. I dont feel defeated before i ever get started.

I know what my limits are and i am using caution .It will do no good for me to over do it and be here longer than i need to be . I have had some dehydration issues and loss of of appetite. So i am really going to start tracking my water and nutrition.

So there is the update .. Have a wonderful day everyone !!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEARTSTOPPER 9/28/2012 3:53PM


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SHRINK_U 9/24/2012 11:14PM

    I hope you have a speedy recovery :) I just read your previous blog too and love how pleased your doctor was with your weight loss. I love your positive outlook.


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BTRFLY08 9/24/2012 2:04PM

    I hope you have a speedy recovery!!


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JULIAOAK 9/24/2012 7:57AM

    emoticon emoticon

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COUNTRYBARB05 9/23/2012 6:46PM

    I hope you heal quickly and are able to start walking again. That is a positive way to look at having to hop around, you are burning some of those calories. Prayers and positive thoughts for you.

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CHANGING-VICKI 9/23/2012 5:59PM

  I missed something here. What happened to your foot? Maybe you posted about it in an earlier blog and I haven't gotten to it.
I do hope you'll be up and around very soon and without any pain. emoticon

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