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NEWTINK's Recent Blog Entries

Saving Life

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I have had a fear for many years of seat belts. The fear of being trapped in them because as a fat bodied person they are never comfortable. For me they are tight and cutting. I know what they are designed to but honestly felt like the would hurt me more than they help me. I could see my car off the side of bridge and being trapped in this thing not being able to escape it. So for years I just have simply not wore one. That was my easy fix just dont wear it . I could deal without so i did. This morning my husband and I were traveling back to New Orleans from Pascagoula MS. I am an awful passenger just saying. On the horizon it is raining and the cars are traveling so fast past us even though we are going 70 mph. For the first time in a really long time I think what if. With the roads so wet and we hydroplaned twice I made the choice that I was going to put on my trap. I am putting on the thing i hate most in the vehicle and the next hour is going to be hell and painful. So I reach and I pull it across me and I latch it. And guess what . I have lost enough weight that it is very comfortable. It doesnt feel like I cant breath I dont even know that it is there . If you have never had these feelings please dont judge me because I have . When you are 366 pounds everything is a thought every thing is a chore. And the further away 366 pounds you get the more amazing every thing feels. Things that other people get to do and never have a passing thought means so much. So another first for me today. I got to ride feeling safe and secure.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PURPLEPEONY 9/3/2012 12:24AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JULIAOAK 8/23/2012 3:37AM

    brilliant!! emoticon emoticon

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SHRINK_U 8/20/2012 4:41PM

    AN AWESOME NSV!!! Yay :)

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BECKYI39 8/20/2012 10:43AM

    So glad that you have reached the spot where you are comfortable in the seat belt. I love the fact that you are open and honest with your feelings. You never know how you may help someone with the same issues and feelings.


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THINNYGINNY 8/19/2012 11:56PM

    YES!!!! Glad you are comfortable and safe!!

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JENNNY135 8/19/2012 9:45PM

    That's awesome news!!!!

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TERRY1038 8/19/2012 8:16PM

  emoticon

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NILLAPEPSI 8/19/2012 8:12PM

    emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 8/19/2012 8:10PM

    AMEN - Congratulations on making that life-saving discovery. Some people might not recognize the importance of your new-found measuring tool, but I topped the scales just about where you described your starting place - I KNOW that some of the simplest, most MINOR to others, things are really amazing milestones. Again, I am so happy to hear you can now wear that lifesaving device in comfort and not put yourself at such risk. Do you think that NOW, maybe you are WORTH it or was it always JUST about the comfort? For me it would have probably been a little of both - I know I have been pretty uncomfortable wearing the seat belts, but I also know that I have not always thought I was worth worrying about either.

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CHANGING-TURTLE 8/19/2012 8:08PM

    Alright!!!! emoticon emoticon

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Freeze the world !!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

* Freeze *

This morning I weighed and I made it to 79 pounds gone ...For a moment I thought "Freeze the world". 287 pounds that is the lowest I have weighed in like 15 years. "Freeze the world" Hold the moment, Feel the accomplishment, Respect the pain and tears to get right here to the moment in time. 21 % of where I started " freeze the world" ... Dont breath just let this moment hang in the air.
Remember how good this feels and how good never doing this again will feel. All I can say is thank you to my body for hanging through this journey and Thank you to all the amazing people in this process. I know That I am emotional mess but at least i am a smaller emotional mess .

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PURPLEPEONY 9/3/2012 12:25AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHRINK_U 8/20/2012 3:52PM

    So happy for you :)

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IRONBLOSSOM 8/19/2012 10:58PM

    Awesome!! Great job!

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THINNYGINNY 8/19/2012 6:31PM

    SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! Just the beginning!!!

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JENNNY135 8/18/2012 6:47PM

    So happy for you, awesome job.

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DANILYNNG 8/18/2012 4:50PM

    So very proud of you!

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GINNABOOTS 8/18/2012 4:18PM

    Fantastic! Congratulations on your weight loss & lifestyle change.

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TONYVAND1 8/18/2012 4:07PM

  emoticon emoticon Keep up the good work.

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Thawing slowly

Thursday, August 16, 2012

* you wake up in a rush, dress and out the door*

Wait you forgot to lay out something for dinner. It is 2 pm before you remember this so what do you do. This is how dieting has felt to me for years. No preparation and the stress over what to do. When you forget to lay out your meat to defrost you are left with a few options but none are as satisfying as the one that is slow thawed and prepped and prepared to perfection. This is how I have come to the point of not dieting but changing my life. This process is slow like thawing meat. Sometimes it takes longer than I would like but I have not been dissatisfied with the results so far.
Is it frustrating well yea. Do I wish I could just nuke my way through it Well yea. Do i wish that i could drive up to a window and get it my way right now Hell yea .. however having tried some version of all of them in the past and failing , I am just going to thaw slowly and prep along the way so that by the time i get there might be some sort of a perfection plan to handle life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THINNYGINNY 8/17/2012 2:46PM

    This was what I needed to read today - I had been making quick progress and was a little too dependent on the idea of getting to a certain weight by a certain date...august has been hard for me because of vacations and getting off track a bit here and there - I have not lost ground in august - but have not yet lost weight in august...i was thinking I had just lost TIME - until i realized that usually vacations are the END of diets and progress for me - usually I GAIN weight...this time I exercised and held the line...that is progress. And what's more - it is sustainable progress - it is a new habit. I love the image above - slow progress is PROGRESS!!! Thanks my friend for keeping on keeping on - if you can, i can too.

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SHRINK_U 8/17/2012 2:10PM

    Great message :) One of the biggest reasons I have continued this go-round and not given up is because I made the mental decision and it finally clicked that any progress is in fact progress!

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JENNNY135 8/17/2012 12:38PM

    Thanks for the analogy, what a great blog. I love the quote so if you're okay I'm going to copy it.

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ELLEJAY7 8/17/2012 12:13PM

    Great blog!



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OREOSMILE 8/17/2012 9:23AM

    You are building the habits that wll keep you at goal for a lifetime - sounds smart to me!

emoticon emoticon

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KBRADFORD88 8/16/2012 5:22PM

    Here here. It's taken me 2 months to lose 10 pounds. But I am losing!

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IRONBLOSSOM 8/16/2012 5:05PM

    Nice!

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JANEMARIE77 8/16/2012 4:43PM

    love it

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DANILYNNG 8/16/2012 4:42PM

    So true... who cares if the progress is slow? Slow and steady gets you where you want to go, and it gets you there safely and soundly!

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KATIEGARCIA2 8/16/2012 4:38PM

  love the quote!!

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From tears to feet

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

If you have never been severely morbidly obese, I am not sure that you can understand what that is like. When you know that you are alone even though the room is full of people. When you you dont want to go out because the world is full of many obstacles and pains. When you get up and weigh and cry because that number changed and you have no idea as to why. Your body hurts just from sleeping. The hopelessness invades your soul and you reside to the fact that you are going to die from this. Then one day in that dark place there is a ray of light that says please move today. You dont want to tell anyone that you are going to try again because you cant take the look if you fail again. So you get up and you move. and you think ok i did that what is next and before you know it you move again and again. You dont get happy because well we have been here before and it didnt work so you just keep moving. When you are like me ( almost 200 pounds overweight) you cant look at that number, you do this one step one pound at a time. You dont dare dream you just keep moving, you let this moving start to cleanse your soul.
For me everyday honestly could be a party. The first six months were not fun at all. Blisters followed by rashes, nausia as my body detoxed, Headaches from blood pressure spikes. I have dug deep inside and found strength when I didnt think it was any left. I have watched as every member of my family has jumped on board. If you did a grand total of weight my family as a total has lost this past year it would be roughly 165 pounds. I have personally lost 75 pounds the equivalent to both on my grandsons combined weight. Which should be the best thing however there are somethings that truly make me cry.
This morning at the track ... I was walking thinking wondering when i saw something that took me completely by surprise. I know it will be hard to phantom as i walked i looked down and I saw my feet ... An unobstructed view of my feet. Something that should not be big deal is huge . I cried for where i had been, I cried for how far i had come , I cried for how far i had to go. But i didnt stop i just watched in amazement at the feet at the end of my legs. During this process there are so many emotions that i have to deal with. You name it and i have felt it at one point or another. This is just one of the better ones.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OREOSMILE 8/12/2012 2:58PM

    emoticon

bet you've been carrying around a big grin ever since! awesome non-scale victory!

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CITYZOZO 8/10/2012 1:02AM

    i love this blog.. way to go!

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JULIAOAK 8/8/2012 3:57AM

    that is fantastic - you are doing a wonderful job and an inspiration to us all - keep up the great work. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KFEASEL13 8/7/2012 9:22PM

    What an accomplishment! I am so proud of you! emoticon

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ADARKARA 8/7/2012 8:31PM

    Well DONE! You are an inspiration to us all =)

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MANILUS 8/7/2012 8:26PM

    Congratulations on your success, it truly is a journey for 1 day at a time and when you have a bad day, make the next one better! You CAN do it!

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SHRINK_U 8/7/2012 8:22PM

    It is so wild ALL of the emotions we experience everyday while in this process. One minute I am laughing, then crying, then angry, then frustrated, and then ecstatic. Look how far you have come :) Tell your feet that Lemonhead said HELLO.

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IRONBLOSSOM 8/7/2012 6:45PM

    Oh my goodness what a great blog! I can't believe how far you've come! You're awesome and SO INSPIRING!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THINNYGINNY 8/7/2012 6:09PM

    Time to get some fabulous shoes - like those bright yellow running shoes the olympians are wearing!!! Or paint a happy face on your shoes!! So happy for you - i know how you feel!!

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DESERT_BIRD 8/7/2012 3:13PM

    emoticon
Those are the milestones that keep us going. And the surprises along the way are gifts. Enjoy the journey; it keeps getting better.
emoticon

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SLPORTER1978 8/7/2012 3:05PM

    What a wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing. You made me cry happy tears. I am so happy for your success and wish you further success in your journey.

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KBRADFORD88 8/7/2012 2:55PM

    You go newtink. I am so stinking excited for you. I have felt hopeless. Shoot I see that feeling about once a month, But, moving makes it better. Good for you emoticon

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DANILYNNG 8/7/2012 2:45PM

    Oh, my goodness, sweetie - you made me cry! No, I've never been morbidly obese, so I don't know what it's like, so your blog was a chilling little peek. I'm so very, very glad that you've begun this journey and that you are finding success along the way. I'm also glad that I"m here for the journey and I get to see your milestones through your eyes.

Just one thing: Now that you can see your feet, go get a pedicure! You deserve a pretty view emoticon

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SUGARSMOM2 8/7/2012 1:38PM

  I was told i was morbidly overweight . I am trying to overcome and move my hindend to stop this . It takes time and lots of footwork . move the mountian and you will find lyou feel better . look better . keep trying do not stop .

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missing day of prep ...

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Everyone talks of tracking and fitness on here However there is a key ingredient that nobody talks about. Maybe it is just me but preparation is the biggest thing for me. When I started the difference was in the preparation. I didnt wake up one morning and decide that I was going to lose weight this time. There was no half hearted promise to start with. It is notebooks and calendars. It is knowing before I go to bed what I must do tomorrow. It is tracking everything. It is what I call full throttle war on fat. When I feel like something isnt working I make the adjustments and I move on. I have become a walking encyclopedia of knowledge of this war. Yes that sounds intense because it is. A few weeks back I got complacent for what ever reason and I slacked off bad. That can not happen again. Not till we are further.

This morning I reached for the Notebook to see what I had to do today. And through my blurry eyes there was no plan. Nothing was there which i had the mental plan and pretty much knew what i had to do. But it was the fact yesterday I couldnt write ... A trip to the eye doctor for new glasses led to more than I wanted. An allergic reaction to something they put in my eyes left me without site for about 5 hrs. They are better today but still not a hundred percent yet. So as I said what to do when something doesnt work then you fix it and move on. So now the calendar is updated till Wed. Diet plan is done till Wed. I promise you cant go wrong with planning it all out in advance. My nutrition plan is a bill that must paid with my fitness minutes everyday.

Just a funny to remember ... What is salty and satisfying like potato chips? Sweat
Corny I know but hey it gets you around the track !!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLEJAY7 8/6/2012 8:07AM

    So True! Love the notebook idea to plan ahead. I've been tracking what I've already done, but not for the future. Thanks for the idea. emoticon

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KBRADFORD88 8/5/2012 9:25PM

    Love that. My kids went out of town 2 weeks ago and I did not plan my meals, I have been off kilter ever since. I have to get our plan going again. Good reminder. emoticon

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XPHOENIX 8/5/2012 7:07PM

    I think prep goes with it. It's just one of those unspoken things that we must do in order to stay on track and do what we must do... :) I do it usually on Friday or Saturday and make basic plans for all week and solidify them as I go :) Baby steps.

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SHRINK_U 8/5/2012 6:09PM

    I would have been so scared if I couldn't see for 5 hours! I am glad your eyes are getting better today from the allergic reaction. You are right.. when I don't make some kind of plan I don't do as well. July had many problems for me as it did for many of my spark friends... and I failed to plan my exercise and nutrition. So with all of the stress and with no plan... I had a not so great month. I have a plan for August and schedule! WE ARE GONNA WIN THIS WAR, TINK :)

-The Lemonhead emoticon

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DANILYNNG 8/5/2012 2:59PM

    Preparation is definitely key! But just as important is flexibility... life doesn't always go to plan, so be prepared to detour!

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