Sunday, January 05, 2014
Yikes, less than 400 steps on the fitbit. It's freezing outside, and almost dark. But ... I've got an audiobook to listen to, so I step out the door. And the audiobook is almost over, so I keep walking in order to keep listening. There are only a couple of streets near our house that have sidewalks, so since it's dark, I stick to the sidewalks. I end up walking the same route that I did the night before last, only since my book needs finishing, I walk the route twice. By the time I get back home, I have more than 5200 steps on the fitbit, and I've walked more than 2 miles for the day. Yowza!
Monday, December 30, 2013
I read a quote today from the actress Sharon Stone: "When your life burns down, it takes time to be a phoenix." It resonated with me (though her trials have definitely been much harder than my own).
There's been so much loss this year for us, but some joy too. Our two little dogs died a few months ago, within weeks of each other. (We have a new dog that we adopted from the animal shelter and he's really helping us heal from that pain.) My folks are worse off than they were a year ago, and I've resigned from my job, so I can spend more time helping them out with their needs. My job was very stressful, even though I loved it, and it wasn't working for me to try to do both things, along with being available for my own family. (Many evenings after work and weekends over the past year have been spent at their house trying to handle their issues, while my hubby has been home with our son - now I'll be able to help the folks out during the day when he's at school, instead, and be home for him in the afternoons.) I also hope to spend more time with my MIL and maybe help relieve some stress for hubby in that way as well (she's also very needy, although a lot more independent than my parents are).
This is a huge change. I've worked so hard for so many years; even while I was in grad school, I was holding down two jobs at a time and juggling child care, as hubby was also in grad school and working at the time. I've been in full time work without a break since I graduated from library school a few years ago. So the idea of not knowing for sure how I'll make a living next month is scary. But I feel like I've got a glimmer of hope that some sort of balance may return to our lives, and that in another year things may be better.
I just have to remind myself: rising from the ashes will take time.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
I tried a re-start in May, but life threw me for several loops, including a super stressful work life, and difficulties faced by my aging parents. I left the job and am home now, hoping to combine providing more help to my parents with being home in the afternoons for my pre-teen son. And figuring out how to make a living from home, in a way that doesn't become overwhelming and require more attention than I have time for (after all, that's why I left my job, right?)
One of the things I've lost sight of over the past few years is the simple fact that fitness = happiness for me. So I am restarting again, and will try to keep health and happiness in the picture as part of my image of "success".
I am really looking forward to being in touch with my Spark friends again, and finding my way back to my true self - the one that knows how to be happy.
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