Saturday, July 09, 2011
I've written this blog several times...well, started it anyway but never posted it.
Two months ago my dad moved back to Idaho from Illinois where he has lived for the past 9 years. He has essentially been out of my life for 11 years and I'd gotten beyond the point where I missed him, or even thought of him. It's a complicated past and I'm finding it to be a complicated present and a confusing future. I'm having trouble finding time or energy or desire to have him in my life. That's a hard thing to write, after all he is my dad.
He lives in a retirement center just a few minutes from my home. He has dementia. My brother has taken his vehicle away because dad gets lost though he seems to be a good driver.
There's so much history. There is so much 'junk'. I'm trying to process it all through. I'm trying to redefine this relationship on my terms, not because my brother wants me to see dad or my mom feels sorry for him or because he thinks in his demented mind that I'm a great daughter...but what do I want from this relationship now? Anything? Is there a place in my life for my dad? I'm not sure...I don't know how I'll know. I don't know when I'll know. I don't want to hurt other people in the decision, but in his inability to remember, I don't think I will hurt my dad...but my brother? My mom? And in it all I'm trying to consider my own family, my kids and hubby...
Prayers from my SP Friends regarding this would be appreciated. Part of why this blog has been started but never finished until tonight is because there is so much history, so much water under the bridge that I thought would stay gone but it's all 'flowing up river', if you will...under the bridge was the easy part! But for some reason, God has brought him back. God's planning and timing are perfect, I believe that. I'm just not sure what He wants from me.
Blessings to all of you as we journey together. Thank you for your prayers. Karen
Monday, June 27, 2011
So recently I read The Spark. It was a great reminder of the stages, took me back to the basics. So I was very interested in the back of the book, near the end where it was talking about the 10 minute exercises. As you know, I've been stuck at 28-29 pounds lost and gaining and losing the same 3 pounds for almost 5 weeks now, I know mixing up my work out will pop me out of this plateau.
There is this one where you put your hands down on the floor and then do this little hop up, bringing one knee up toward your chest, kind of like a runners start position. Then you do the little hop again, straighten that leg behind you and bring the other knee up to your chest, back to the runner start position. I believe the point is to do this for a couple of minutes as part of your 10 minute cardio and perhaps even work up to 10 minutes of this move. >
I was thinking, "If I could do this move, even once, I could be an NFL Football star, making a million dollars a year, working with a personal trainer, have a cook to make me the perfect healthy balance of foods..."...and then I stop because let's face it, I'm past prime NFL age and I'm a girl...time for a new dream!
Yes, I'm getting to the pushup part...I'm working out every day. I've shortened my cardio on the elliptical a little so I can add some different exercises afterward. Yep, I've got my eye on that little sprinters move! Tonight my daughter was looking at the SP exercise list and she said, "Mom! Do a push up! You'll love them!" Since I was on my stomach (ok, I was resting...) I said, sure, no problem...uh, problem?
I got in the modified pushup position, got up on my arms and started the process of lowering myself...let's just say that I don't think that the rug burns on my face will show when I go to corporate for a meeting tomorrow...that was the result of the first two, face plants. Daughter wouldn't let me call that a 'set of reps', she said they had to be successful pushups, little slavedriver! ...
The first set of reps she let me count was 5, second set 3 and third set 2. That's 10!!!! And I laid down to rest...I was done. How can arms that I've been working out with weights be so weak as to let me down?!?
I'm not done, I'm going to do more...I think it will just take time and practice and my daughter beating me with a smelly sock...
Friday, June 24, 2011
A: is for Apple, whatís your favorite variety?
Apples are too much trouble to eat - but we have a Fuji apple tree so I do lots of applesauce, apple pie and apple crisp
B: is for Bread, regardless of nutrition, calories, or whole grains what is your favorite type to have a nice big piece of?
Sourdough is my favorite. But now the sandwich thins are a fave...
C: is for Cereal what is your favorite kind currently (just one!)
I've loved cereal for my whole life. But when I was young, the sugary stuff, then the granola that I've discovered isn't very good for me...now, shredded wheat but not often.
D: is for Doughnuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you fancy?
Ok, this is bad...I like the Hostess tiny little donuts are my fave. But if I'm in a grocery store, definitely the donut holes - old fashions. Or a Bismarck with cream filling...ok, need to move on to something more nutritious!
E: is for Eggs, how would you like yours prepared?
Poached on toast, my momma made me those when I was little and didn't feel good.
F: is for Fat Free, what is your favorite fat free product?
Fat Free Cottage Cheese, can't live without it.
G: is for Groceries, where do you purchase yours?
WinCo is the store...cheap, bulk, bag your own
H: is for Hot Beverages, what is your favorite hot drink?
Coffee and hot spiced cider that's sugar free. I like hot and when it's hot outside, I like it iced.
I: is for Ice Cream, pick a favorite flavor and add a fun topping.
I love ice cream...chocolate with fudge chinks is a good start. Any chocolate of the top would be good too. Love ice cream, love it.
J: is for Jams or Jellies, do you eat them, and if so what kind and flavor?
I have to say, I'm a bit spoiled, I make my own...berry? Yep. Apple butter? Yep. Pear butter? Yep. Peach, plum, apricot jams? Yep. Don't buy that nasty commercial stuff, making my own controls the sugar!
K: is for Kashi, name your favorite Kashi product?
Kashi Go Lean bars which are like candy bars and aren't really good for you...
L: is for Lunch, what was yours today?
A salad from Winco. They make chef salad in the deli, they weigh meats and cheese so you can build it in your tracker as a food group! Love it!
M: is for microwave, what is your favorite microwave meal/snack?
Nothing really... I only really use it to heat up leftovers.
N: is for nutrients, do you like carbs, fats, or proteins best?
I track them all, I run reports. I love dessert, which is a problem...they are just too high in everything! I've reduced my carbs the most on Spark and the longer I don't overeat them, the less I crave them.
O: is for oil, what kind do you like to use?
Olive oil for sure. Less oil than ever before!
P: is for protein, how do you get yours?
Fish, pork, chicken and nuts. Love them!
Q: is for Quaker, how do you like your oats?
Uh, I don't. I used to eat oats fro breakfast but that hasn't made me feel good lately.
R: is for roasting, what is your favorite thing to roast?
Oh my, all fowl are great roasted! Chicken, turkey, game hen, duck (fatty!)...oh my.
S: is for sandwich, whatís your favorite kind?
I used to love ALL sandwiches. Now, my fave is scrambled egg sand...my hubby makes them for me...
T: is for travel, how do you handle eating while traveling?
During vacation, we cook our own food so we can control calories and nutrition. Traveling with work, that's just SO tough, not enough healthy choices.
U: is for unique, what is one of your weirdest food combos?
Watermelon and almonds...great afternoon snack!
V: is for vitamins, what kind do you take?
None at the moment...this is on my "to do" list to look into.
W: is for wasabi, yay or nay?
Nay...too hot for me, hubby and daughter love it!
X: is for XRAY. if we xrayed your belly right now, what food would we see?
Pork stew with white wine...
Y: is for youth, what food reminds you of your childhood?
My mom was a stay at home for most of my life...cookies for sure, meatloaf and then leftover meatloaf sandwiches with just ketchup...salad before every dinner and dessert after every dinner...yep, those were the days...
Z: is for zucchini, how do you prepare it?
Stuffed with meat/cheese/bread crumbs...if for a meal. Now, what I really like to do with zucchini is grate it and freeze it. That way I can make zucchini bread which is my fave or I add it to spaghetti sauce or to lasagna meat sauce and it hides the veggies from the kids.
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