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Strange Day

Thursday, July 05, 2012

On Tuesday July 3rd, I had the weirdest day...it was strange and weird and has left me a bit unsettled.

My son has worked for 2 months at the coffee shop where I have gotten coffee for the past, probably, three years. So, Tuesday morning I pull up at the coffee shop and the owner, Gene, takes my order, I pull to the next window, he hands me my son's paycheck (cash) and asks me to confirm the amount and sign for it. No big deal, right? So, I count and sign and hand the signed page back to him and he says, "I sure hope he enjoys his new job." and I say, "What?" Gene says, "He quit this job, said that they could clean if they want to but he isn't going to clean. Stood leaning against the counter drinking free coffee." This SO, COMPLETELY does NOT sound like my son. I asked who son said this to and Gene mentioned one of the gals who works there mid morning to the mid afternoon. I was blown away. I said that son was on the schedule for the next day, to which Gene replied, "I'm not paying him to not work." and then he says to me, "You look beautiful in red! I sure hope you have a GREAT day!" and I drove away. W-H-A-T just happened here?! This guy basically fired my son through me, without talking to my son! I was floored! My son is not perfect but he is also not rude, never defiant to adults, always respectful and hard working. What just happened here?!?!?

I called my hubby and we talked. I know, for every story there is one side, the other side and what really happened...we agreed to talk about it more later in the day. I went and got gas (before I ran out!) and then to the grocery store for fruit for the 4th of July fruit salad and meat and cheese for trays for the 4th. Off to work and on the clock at 7:30 am. Whew!

Work was one of THOSE days. Every problem was 'on the table' for discussion and someone was trying to fix it. The Medicaid settlement was $45,000 short, the statements weren't working, I was getting no reports back from dental claim submissions, Medicare claims for one site aren't going at all, payments are down...it was a day and month end for June. Ugh! I had conversations with my son through the day about the job, he was absolutely devastated to lose when he had really worked so, so hard. He not only never stopped working when he was there and hadn't said the things that he was accused of saying, he had started work early when I dropped him off and not 'clocked in' until his scheduled time and he had washed down the entire outside of the coffee trailer with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge and with no other way, rinsed the entire trailer too. I talked to my daughter's doctor, working on meds that will hopefully relieve her of some depression with what she has been going through. I was so relieved to get off work, couldn't wait to get home...

Home, Sweet Home. Went to see my mom, she lives with us in an apartment attached to our home, she told me that her sister, my dear, sweet Aunt Barb is sick, really sick. My Aunt Barb is the best woman in the whole world - she was a single parent of 3 kids for 6 years, she'd conceived her first child as a product of a rape, she married her rapist because it was 'expected'. She worked hard her whole life, was in sales and then real estate. She is the most selfless person I know. In fact, one year she met a woman at a Christmas party, the lady needed a kidney transplant, was in ESRD (end stage renal disease) and on dialysis every other day. My Aunt said, "I'll give you one of mine!" and 6 months later, they were not only a perfect match but my Aunt Barb gave a kidney to a woman that she had only met the December before! That's the kind of woman she is! Anyway, she was diagnosed with polymyalgia, which in itself isn't such a bad thing, a cousin of fibromyalgia (which my mom has) it strikes older women and can run it's course in about 2 years. However, she got a complication called giant cell arteritis - in which the arteries of the brain swell causing stroke and blindness. My aunt underwent testing today where they took parts of the arteries from the temples on each side of her forehead. This is just not good news. She is such a dear lady, to be blinded by this or to suffer a stroke is nearly unthinkable.

Then...because the day just wasn't over yet, mom told me of the funeral she attended that day. The deceased was 30 years old and died in a boating accident in CA the day before his best friend was to be married. He was the best man, and never made the wedding. He was a kid who suffered a near-fatal car accident in his late teens, spent almost 2 years in rehab learning to do everything again from feeding himself to walking to speaking, etc. He had come back, finished high school, gotten good work at Dillard's Dept store and was married...only to come to this tragic end, an only child with now devastated parents.

I tell you, by 6 pm, I was ready for bed but I had promised my son to stay up and do fireworks with him when it was dark so he could share them with his sister who wasn't going to be home for the 4th, but at a friend's house. So, I stayed up. I didn't sleep Tuesday night, my mind would not let me rest...

What a strange day. I was so glad that it was over...but since then, I've really felt haunted...this deal with my son and the job...he's 15 and he l-o-v-e-d that job! I have no idea what the agenda is of this owner - I feel like he played my son, used him to cover a vacation, didn't give him a chance to defend himself or explain if he made a comment even close to what he was accused. I know that son had a disagreement with one co-worker in the last week over a coffee order that she says he told her wrong and he said he told her right and she made wrong, but that stuff happens in a coffee shop, it's communication after all and it doesn't always go well on one side or the other. I just don't know what to think, I've gone over it and over it in my mind...

It was a weird day on Tuesday. I'm glad it's over, I wish it would go away - get out of my brain. Perhaps in time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS_TOAD 7/9/2012 10:26AM

    What a very, very strange day indeed. I can't even imagine what you went through emotionally. Hang in there! I hope this is a better for you and your son.

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RAINBOWCHOC 7/7/2012 12:01PM

    all I can say is "Well done for not hitting the cake/chocolate/crisps/booze". Days like this are horrendous and you coped well.
I hope your son finds something soon which is better and happier for him

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-LINDA_S 7/6/2012 9:55PM

    Sp sorry to hear about your terrible day. I hope you can get some answers and that everything works out OK.

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DIVINEPRINCESS 7/6/2012 3:20PM

    Oh, KareBear! I just read this. What an awful day you had--just one thing after another. I hope by the time you read this the job situation with your son has been resolved. If not resolved, at least explained. How bizarre!!!

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ID_VANDAL 7/6/2012 12:28PM

    Good heavens that is one of the strangest days ever. I'm sitting here just numb so I can only imagine what you felt and are still feeling. Hopefully sharing via the blog helped a little and maybe put things in perspective.

I won't make any suggestions since you've already received a bunch.

I just wish you strength and vision on all the fronts you are facing.

I do agree with Watermellon that I wouldn't let my shadow darken that coffee shop again.

Stay strong and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Vandal

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CINDYSDAY 7/6/2012 9:15AM

    I agree that your son needs to talk to the owner. Not that he might get his job but to get some answers!

I pray everything else gets better for you! emoticon

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_LINDA 7/6/2012 1:13AM

    That is awful about your son. It sounds like the co worker was getting back at him, not the owner. That happened to my niece at a coffee shop -coworkers accused her of things she didn't do, and ended up having to quit:((.
So very sorry about your Aunt Barb:( Why do the sweetest people get hit the worst??
You certainly had the day from Hell :(
Wishing you family better days ahead..
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DETERMINEDJANET 7/6/2012 12:29AM

    So much in there to comment upon, but instead I'll just offer some hugs and prayers! Does sound like your son got the bad end of something and I'm so sorry about that.

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_RAMONA 7/5/2012 10:07PM

    Oh, Karen! I'm tired and saddened just reading about your weird day! Some days do seem to exist to only remind us that justice and fairness and rewards for being 'good' do not belong to this world.

The job thing is just terribly weird... and sad for your son. Shame on that owner for using you that way! I never do well when people show themselves to be something other than who I believe them to be. I can see why you can't just let it go. Has your son considered going to respectfully confront the owner (with you or your husband as a silent witness)... not ask for his job back, but to essentially show him he hasn't gotten away with anything, and to have the owner explain to his face why he was fired? Might be worth it for his own self-respect... and a sense fo dignity in the midst of it all.

Continuing to hold all of you up in prayer!

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LUV2RUN72 7/5/2012 10:00PM

    So sorry sweetie. That is a sucky sucky day. emoticonI hope you get some rest and my thoughts are with your Aunt, your son, your daughter!

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SANDYDOLLAR201 7/5/2012 9:57PM

    Wow, what a strange and a 'strained' day to say the least. First of all, I hope your Aunt Barb will be okay, and your daughter too. As far as your son goes, that is definitely not fair the way it happened. Sounds like Gene used you to do his dirty work, not only was that pretty sleazy, but you are his customer, WOW, not good customer relations for sure.
If it were me, I would be pulling up to the window again tomorrow morning to buy my coffee, but I would have my son with me and get it dealt with. Will put Gene on the spot he deserves to be on, and will allow your son to defend his honor.
Good luck with whatever may be.


Comment edited on: 7/5/2012 9:58:17 PM

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EBEAMS 7/5/2012 9:51PM

    That DOES seem like a rough day ... and that DOESN'T seem like the right way for the owner to have handled the situation. I hope that your son is getting over the trauma of the loss of his job and the rejection. It's tough to watch your children hurting. And for all the other "whaps" over the head, my heart goes out to you. I will be holding you up in my thoughts and praying for you! Remember, He promises to never give us more than we can handle ... Hugs!

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WATERMELLEN 7/5/2012 9:23PM

    SUCH a tough tough day. No wonder it's haunting you.

There simply is no justice in what happened to your son. And: althought we can bear injustice for ourselves (because we know, it happens) it's so hard to bear it for our kids. We want them to believe that the world is a just and fair place.

All we can do is stand by them when it's not.

And: in your case I think I'd be expressing my profound disapproval by buying my morning coffee elsewhere . . . yeah!

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Tough Times = Lessons Learned

Thursday, June 07, 2012

In April I learned that my daughter who is 13 was not only being bulled at school, which I knew some about, but I also learned she was self-harming; cutting and burning. The harming has been going on since she was in third grade.

The story of my daughter's harming is really her story to tell so I probably won't go into that much here. I will however tell you all that she is in counseling, she is on medication, she is working very hard to heal and she has not harmed in the last 31 days as of this writing. She has harmed once in 44 days, not too bad since she was harming several times a day earlier this year.

So, what are the lessons to be learned in something that is pretty tough to go through as a parent? First, you never know everything that is happening in your home. Second, if you feel that there is a secret in your home or one of your own is acting different, act on that gut feeling, do not give up until the truth is exposed. Third, your children can have troubles that are not your troubles. I'm not being hard here, but I cannot heal my dd from harming, SHE has to heal from harming.

I have some issues with the school where dd has spent the last 7 years. I don't blame them for dd choosing to harm, but what are the lessons that schools can learn from this experience? First, 'kids being kids' is not the same as 'kids being mean'. Bullying is a word that is more of a buzz word these days and I don't use it lightly. Any time a tween child complains of harassment, being picked on or no one liking them they are not being bullied. But sometimes they are. Second, actions need to equal consequences. Kids are allowed an awful lot of 'kids being kids' without any consequences for their actions. The kids who harassed my dd literally out of school early, laughed it up and finished their year.

Other lessons learned? 1) Self harmers suffer not only the compulsion to harm but also the shame of hiding the harming, the pain of the physical harm they've done and many emotions as they see the lasting scars they made on their own bodies. It's a difficult issue to understand. 2) Harmers have to want to stop harming in order to heal. 3) Harming is not an addiction like alcoholism, it's a compulsion so it can be healed.

Personally, I've had some life-altering revelations through this experience. My personal lessons are several: I can control my eating during stressful times. I can hold my weight very steady with diet and little exercise. Exercise does make me able to handle stress better both physically and mentally. I'm a good mom. Once you shine a light in a dark corner, it's never dark again. My faith in God was tested and I have faith. God put the *perfect* person in my dd's life every single step of the way; from the pastor she told, the counselor He put in her life, the way it was revealed to her dad and me, the clinician who is treating her wounds (prayed over her in the exam room), the only child in dd's school who knew is probably the only 12 year old who can actually keep a secret, the school administrator I went to was also a harmer and on and on. God is good.

Lessons learned through tough times...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLMALLETTE 6/11/2012 11:10AM

    Karen - With my daughter/ She saw a therapist that I love - Her issues were related to perfectionism and control. She was also essentially starving herself at the same time. (this I knew and was working with her on, but the cutting I had no idea.) She has a condition where she does not feel physical pain the way others do so this was even more scary as she could have taken it way too far and we would have lost her. My heart begins to race just typing that and it has been almost a year.
The therapist worked with her on this book and workbook - I can't remember the title right noe but can get if you want. We also picked out a devotional and she worked hard toread her bible every day and pray. She knew that the closer she got to GOD the further away she would be from this "evil". That is really the perspective that has saved her - She surrounds herself with loving positive friends and works to remember that she is not perfect - no one is. Her stress level has decreased and her coping skill increased.
One strategy she used for a while was to take a sharpie and write on her wrists when she had the urge to cut. Gave her the pressure feeling but no harm- Therapist suggested this and they practiced it together.
Although, I hope and pray the worst is over for us, Iwill always worry. Whenever she gets quiet, spends more time in her room, etc...I worry. Luckily, she is a triplet and her sisters were greatly affected by this and I think check on her more - so I do not have to.
Happy to share the experience with someone who understands.

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MRS_TOAD 6/10/2012 8:42AM

    I am so, so sorry that DD and your entire family had to struggle through such a dark time. I am so glad to hear that things are going a bit more smoothly for all of you. My prayers continue for DD and the entire family.

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LACEEJO11 6/9/2012 12:49PM

   

My dear friend, it is indeed a scary world we are living in now days! I do know every generation has said that same thing....tho it IS definitely getting progressively worse, just as the BIBLE says it will in the end times! I have no claim to know anything more than anyone else...I just do not see how it can go on like this....BULLYING is a most horrible thing in our schools...tho not only in our schools, it is everywhere among adults as well as youth!! I, personally have even been a victim of BULLYING!

I do admire your strength and the stand up attitude you have taken with helping DD...and placing your trust and FAITH in GOD!! Sometimes it may seem as if HE isn't doing anything...HE is! HE has HIS backfield in motion! I can tell by all you said here, HE has been involved and is helping her, and you!

I do keep you all on my personal prayer list, as I am sure many friends are doing also! Yes, it can be healed! I know, from watching GOD heal people, even alcoholics can be totally healed through GOD!!

The world will tell us it can not be healed...with GOD anything can be healed completely!!

Stay strong! You are her best asset, and her hero!! Many parents would not be there for their child.

LOVE heals all!!


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EBEAMS 6/9/2012 12:30PM

    You know that you have my utmost respect for the way you plunged right in and worked side by side with your daughter to find the way from there to where she is today. We can't possibly know what the future holds or how the lessons you and she are learning today will influence the future. What we do know is that God's grace is ever sufficient and He loves us so very much.

I echo the sentiments that your daughter is very blessed to have such an incredibly wonderful mom who cares about her inside and out. I applaud you for the way you have stood up to the people who tried to brush the problem aside and for the times when it would have been easier to just re-focus on blame and denial instead of just concentrating on the problem while working towards a solution. I saw a picture on Pinterest awhile ago of a female who was obviously a cutter who had scars from wrist to shoulder ... she was huddled up in a ball in the picture. My heart goes out to your daughter for the pain she was obviously trying to escape ... but I also think about a song I know that says "Scars are a sign of healing; like the rainbow that follows the rain" ...

You look absolutely fabulous! Kudos for holding steady on the weight! This isn't a race, it isn't a "have to" in life, it's a work in progress. You are a winner, my dear because you've faced this difficult time and won in this area. I am so PROUD of you! Keep up your GREAT WORK!

I'll keep praying for your family! HUGS!

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GINGERMACC 6/8/2012 9:56PM

    Karen, on some level I can relate (I knew a couple of women who were cutters when I lived in Vegas). I know it is very painful, and it shows great faith and understanding on your part to help your daughter and the est of the family through this. I don't say this lightly: I pray that God will continue to show his grace and watch over your family.

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ID_VANDAL 6/8/2012 12:02PM

    Wow Karen, you were and are dealing with a boatload of stuff.

First of all let me say I'm glad your daughter has you as a mom. I think you forgot to give yourself credit while you were giving others credit. It is going to take a lot to support her and her efforts but you can do it. You have an excellent grasp on the reality of the situation and now you can take appropriate steps when needed. That's huge!

Also congrats on your control over the emotional eating. I'm not sure I could have done that so you get some major points for being strong!

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers but I liked your line on shining a light in a dark corner. Those little dark secrets just eat us up but once they are revealed they seem to lose all power over us and the healing can start!

Thanks for sharing this experience. I know a lot of others will no doubt benefit from it.


Stay safe and stay focused on the prize.

Vandal

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KALIGIRL 6/8/2012 11:01AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both...
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CHUBRUB3 6/8/2012 9:27AM

    So sorry to hear this Karen.
The main thing here is focusing on your daughters health and well being. Yes you are a good mom and I know you will ensure she gets all the help she needs and the support of you and family.
Be hard on the school, this cannot be poo pooed under the rug.
If need be switch schools.
Hugs,
Angela

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DIVINEPRINCESS 6/8/2012 8:58AM

    Times are not what they once were, KareBear. My heart goes out to you as you walk this path alongside your daughter, but I rejoice with you over the lessons learned and the increase in your faith.

I am so sorry to hear that your daughter was being bullied and was harming her own self. How that must have grieved God's heart, but I praise Him and thank Him for being there with her every step of the way, lining up the people He placed in her path to get from point A to point B, step by step.

Your daughter is in His hands, and that's the best place for her to be. I pray that she will learn some life lessons from this experience even as you have, and that she will come to realize that she is deeply loved, valued and treasured .

I hope she also gets to the place where the scars she sees will not reproach her or cause her guilt or shame but will be visible reminders of the lessons she's learned and will remind her how great her God is, that He never left her but walked through this with her.

Rejoice. Will keep praying for you and your daughter.
Charlotte

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GOLFGMA 6/8/2012 7:50AM

    I have a grandson who has a form of Autism. Diagnosed, we were told that his body doesn't produce the mind calming selenium. If he pinches himself the body does then produce the calming effect for him. He can't interact with others in the normal fashion so was an outcast in public school. After counseling and home school he is now in a Christian school in a special class with others with similar problems and is doing well but will never have the confidence to be in public places as we consider normal. In our country 1 or every 88 boys born have this problem and for some reason the numbers have increased in recent years.

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KINEPS 6/8/2012 7:37AM

    First and foremost -- I will keep your daughter and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so glad that she has people surrounding her that love her and are caring for her.

My daughter and son were bullied in grade school as well. I agree with you, when will adults stop protecting those that bully and start helping them and the victim. What message are we sending these bullies? I would think that kids that bully grow up to be adults that bully. Seriously, is that what we need more of in this world?

I was fortunate that my children didn't harm themselves physically. My daughter did lose a lot of weight and my son internalized his anger -- but with God's graces, we were able to help them work through their pain.

They are now 19 and 18 and look back on those years with wisdom and compassion, and have forgiven those who did this to them -- but will never forget the pain. I am proud of the adults that they are becoming!

Peace,
Maryann<
BR>

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PMFISH 6/8/2012 1:05AM

    Sorry for the pain you and DD have endured. Life lessons are hard and inconsiderate people seem to try and make them worse. Keep your faith, with that all things are possible.

Congrats on you recognizing the learned lessons are important and you are using them to make your life better. Pray that your daughter finds the strength to come to the same conclusion.

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_RAMONA 6/8/2012 12:17AM

    Oh, Karen! I'm so sorry for your daughter, and your whole family. What a trial for everyone.... and you speak so much truth, wisdom and compassion... I pray I can find such grace in trying times.

Your words have given me a chill. My daughter is almost 8, is very vulnerable emotionally, and is socially challenged (she tends heavily toward anxiety, and speaks about herself in a very negative way). She's seems well acceptd at the moment, but in her own obsessiveness, we fear she'll create exactly what she fears. She already has some red-flag behaviours, and we've been reading, learning and watching hoping to intervene now and early so as to avoid potential problems as she grows older. We've actually had a lot of success with diet... it is amazing how nutritional changes have impacted positively on her brain chemistry. We are already working with a counsellor. Yet, I already know that she has to choose her own life and be responsible for herself within it. It's so hard to watch them struggle, isn't it?

I will be praying for all of you!
{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
Ramona

P.S. I'm so glad you've learned to care of yourself within the midst of it all... I'm working on it, too!
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Comment edited on: 6/8/2012 12:22:04 AM

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DETERMINEDJANET 6/7/2012 11:26PM

    And you've come through this well my friend. I know there is still more to endure, but I'm proud of you. Praying for all of you!!

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REDSHOES2011 6/7/2012 9:43PM

    My son now goes around with cutters, and other people whom feel pushed out of society even if the therapist and social workers have made him realise he is a good kid.

My sons friends are welcome in my door- these teenagers know my roof is a safe house where they are listened to when they have problems..

It is a dog eat dog environment out on the streets.. Bullying is not just found in schools, and chatting with a therapist never fixed the trauma it caused my son..

Comment edited on: 6/7/2012 10:56:21 PM

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JLMALLETTE 6/7/2012 9:36PM

    Oh i so understand - Last summer my daughter revealed that she was cutting - She was 15 at the time - Also told her youth pastor first. She was not to the level of your daughter but I know the pain and fear of hearing the news. We too prayed to give us all strength and healing -inside and out - She is great now and no longer in long sleeves every day. Praying for you and your family!

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PATTOMMC3 6/7/2012 9:22PM

    Bless you....as a parent of a child badly bullied I know where you are coming from! My daughter is now grown and a lovely young woman. I just kept telling her over and over during those rough years that we loved her....needed her....that it would end....that after high school was over she would never have to see them again....she graduated 2 weeks ago and didn't shed a tear. I pray your daughter heals and is able to find a healthier way to deal with it....

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PURESTILLWATER 6/7/2012 9:15PM

    Wow. Praying for you all

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Take this world and give me Jesus...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

All I Know is I'm not Home Yet, This is NOT Where I Belong! Take this World and Give me Jesus, This is NOT Where I Belong!

This is a line from a Christian song that my kids and I love to hear come on the radio. We all sing along...

Tonight, on the way home from church, we had separate cars because of family members needing to be too many places...Hubby came home directly after church, I stayed and brought the kids home. And this song came on the radio and once again, we all sang along. But tonight was different...

Tonight God said to me, clearly and directly, that I'm not home, I don't *belong* here, I am not to be comfortable here on earth. That confirmed what was so very clearly evident at work today as I struggled and fought and got angry and cried and I was not comfortable. It was honestly a hell of a day.

So, I have to get used to not being comfortable, and it isn't easy - round peg in a square hole or perhaps vice versa...I honestly pray to go home, take this world and give me Jesus...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDOK1260 4/8/2012 8:40AM

    great blog thans you and have a happy Easter emoticon

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DIVINEPRINCESS 4/4/2012 11:59PM

    No, this isn't our home. We are merely strangers here, pilgrims on a journey.

You probably feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole (or whatever it is) because you try to live your life on God's standards whereas a lot of the folks around you are basing their lives on worldly standards. "Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" as it says in James 4. So there's that conflict always present.

I'm so sorry you had a horrible day at work. By now I'm hoping your peace has been restored as have your joy.

I love you, KareBear. Keep the faith...and when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on even longer!

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ID_VANDAL 4/2/2012 2:29PM

    Sorry about the tough day but remember you have great friends and family. Even if this isn't where you want to be it's where you are and as my father always said - "It may not be your fault to be where you are but it is always your responsibility to move on from where you are"

Keep the faith!! You'll be fine.

Vandal

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MHNGJR 4/1/2012 4:07PM

    I was totally drawn in by your title because it reminded me of an old hymn " I must have Jesus". So sorry that work was so awful but glad that God spoke to you in the midst. Hugs, Heather emoticon

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MRS_TOAD 3/31/2012 9:19AM

    emoticon I'm so sorry for your difficult day. Find peace in knowing the Truth. emoticon

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CHUBRUB3 3/29/2012 6:30PM

    Hugs Karen. I know there are better places to be eventually, but stick out your time here with us. You are needed and loved my friend.
hugs,
Angela

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DETERMINEDJANET 3/29/2012 12:42PM

    I needed this reminder with our current struggles with bullying. Yep...this isn't our home......

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PJGABRIEL 3/29/2012 12:29PM

    May the Peace of the Lord be with you, and comfort you as you go into the next day at work and each step you take.

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RAINBOWCHOC 3/29/2012 11:30AM

    I hope you have a better day today. Sunshine and showers help build the flowers.
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KALIGIRL 3/29/2012 8:44AM

    Wishing you peace.

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EBEAMS 3/29/2012 6:58AM

    I repeat this partial scripture to myself ALL THE TIME ... "... in all things, give thanks". When I don't understand, I repeat it. When people don't understand or accept me, I repeat it. When circumstances are not what I think, want or wish they were, I repeat it. Forward progress is never made through the good times, nope ... it's made only when we have to dig down and exist on faith. We aren't meant to fit here because we have the blessed assurance that our Father is preparing mansions of Glory for us ... and our trials here are meant to mold us and shape us into being the children of God!

I am hugging you from here as I know today will bring it's own struggles, trials and triumphs. In all things, give thanks ... Love you! emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 3/29/2012 1:40AM

    So very sorry your work is hell :(( The questions you must ask yourself, do you need this job? Can you find another? If its at all possible to get out of there, can you? This does not sound like a very healthy situation. Stress leads to all kinds of problems :((
Thinking of you and hoping it will get better..
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PURESTILLWATER 3/28/2012 11:59PM

    I completely understand you sis. This is not our home and I too can't wait to go home. But, there is still work to be done.

I will pray for you!

hugs

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Clothes and Weight

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Since I have one pair of pants that were decent to wear to work, I decided I was going shopping today and I wasn't going home until I had pants. Really, pants. I just want a pair of pants, not jeans, lets be clear that my dress code at work says no jeans, not even gorgeous colored ones...

I've lost 42 pounds in the past year and over 16 inches just in the last 6 months. I know, I can't really say that enough...I'm pretty pleased with my accomplishments. But I can honestly say that I'm not even close to the shape that I've been for the past 16 years. Yes, 16 years ago I was in maternity clothes, carrying my son (ok, actually a few months from now but close) and since wearing maternity clothes with my oldest, I've not been in what I consider 'regular size' clothes. I delivered my son, stayed home, went back to work part time and the weekend before I started back full time, I conceived my dear daughter. Let me just say, sperm met egg and I looked pregnant...and I got HUGE with her.

Today my weight was 209, that's what I weighed when I got pregnant with my daughter. This is 19 pounds over my start weight when I got pregnant the first time. You know, the twenty that is most stubborn.

So, between the absolute need to cover my body for work and being at a weight that I haven't seen in years and years. I set off on the journey to buy pants - come hell or high water...being 6' tall, I don't use the words pants and high water in the same sentences often, it's bad luck!

I won't lie, it wasn't easy, I tried a new store in our area called Gordman's - I tried on 9 pair of black pants and walked away with nothing. Then I went to Kohl's, not only does Kohl's have amazing sales and extra % off when you use their credit card and meet $ totals purchased each year, they have their own brands, Levi's, Lee, Chaps, GV, and of course the Nike, Adidas and such for work out wear. But even at Kohl's, with tons and tons of choices and sizes including tall cuts, I tried on 17 pairs of pants before I even got close. I really hoped I was in a size 14 but I'm just not there yet. Darn!

So, I bought 3 pair of pants...a Chaps size 16 navy, and Lee 16L in brown that I can wear now and the same in black that I can wear in about 2 pounds. Every pair of pants are cut so different, it's frustrating to have the same clothes in the same size and they don't fit. But...I also bought several summer shirts and sweaters and camis to wear under blouses, that I already have (that aren't too big) and to mix and match with others. It was quite a trip. I also got brown shoes.

This summer, I'm going to look good I think, professional like I should. I'm still losing weight, toning a lot, I honestly think that another 20 pounds is do-able. A target weight of 190 still isn't in the healthy BMI, I get there at 183...and I've really hoped that I could reach and maintain a weight of 175 but right now, I just don't know.

I am a work in progress for sure. God just isn't finished with me yet! And I know that this journey will be many, many years into the future to get this all right. But today, I'm content. I'm in a good place, I'm feeling good!!

Thank you Friends, daily I'm inspired by your blogs, stories, successes and struggles. I love doing this journey with all of you! Karen

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RADFEN 3/27/2012 12:51PM

    emoticon Pants shopping is the hardest, I think. Keep up you good work!

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RAINBOWCHOC 3/26/2012 2:24PM

    Bravo for completing the challenge of clothes shopping! It really is annoying when you cannot find something which matches the label size!
Good luck with the 2lbs to ease into the other pair...but watch out for the 7-10lbs which might mean more shopping!
best wishes, Sandra

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PJGABRIEL 3/26/2012 12:40PM

    emoticon So proud of the progress you have made to date.

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CHUBRUB3 3/26/2012 11:27AM

    Congratulations Shrinking Karen!

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FIT_GROOVY_GURL 3/26/2012 9:37AM

    emoticon job on your weightloss and I know you can lose the rest also.

Even when I was thin and in shape pants shopping was always the worst thing I can do. It's one reason why I started wearing more skirts and dresses at work because I could never find anything to fit just right.

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LUV2RUN72 3/26/2012 8:39AM

    emoticonYay for new pants! You deserve to have pant that fit and look good on you.

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_LINDA 3/26/2012 1:51AM

    Well done with the weight loss!! You are moving in the right direction! I am right there with you on clothing. Women's sizing really frustrates me. I was so happy Mom went out shopping for me and all I had to do was try them on. Fortunately, I seem to always be the same pant size, but tops are something else again..
Not everyone is going to lose weight at the same speed -I took two years to drop 78 lbs.. but I am also doing well at keeping it off. Slow, but steady does win the race..
Keep up the great work!

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CHRISKENANDKIDS 3/25/2012 10:42PM

    Great job on the weight loss! Keep up the great work!

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 3/25/2012 10:35PM

  emoticon You go, girl! emoticon

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An Idea I have...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

One of the things that I like about the Flab Fighters class that I attend at the Fitness Studio is the variety of the exercise that I get. Like I said in my Saturday March 17 blog is that I can go to the class 5 or more times per week and still get a different work out every single class! Love that!

For Christmas, I asked for a GymBoss interval timer and I got it. This tool is a nifty little gadget where you can time intervals with time in between. So, say you want to do every exercise for a minute with 30 seconds in between? You can do that up to 99 intervals!! Is that so cool?

I'm a creature of habit, I like my comfortable exercises, I like to do the things I'm good at, that will make me stronger, right? Not exactly the best way to get strong. So, how can I get the benefit of the diversity of a class, utilize a great tool like a GymBoss (did I mention mine is pink!?) and still work out at home?

One of the crazy things that Kim likes to do in Flab Fighter class is bring in a deck of cards in, each person would choose 3 cards, the numbers added together is the number of that particular move or exercise the class would 'get' to do.

Here's the plan, I have cards, about the size of business cards and on the back of each I have written a different exercise, things like; planks, bicep curls, flutter kicks, crunches, one arm push ups, etc. Set the GymBoss for one minute and 30 seconds of rest, during the 30 seconds of rest, choose a card for the next minute of exercise, perform the move for a minute then choose again in the next 30 second rest. Do this until I'm thoroughly exhausted!

Ok, so maybe set a number of intervals :) Every workout is different :) All I have to do is shuffle the cards and begin again! I really think I Like this idea. I'm getting the cards ready and as soon as get rid of this sinus infection, I'm going to try this out!

I'm interested in any ideas and thoughts that this provoked! So please share them with me! Thanks!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GINGERMACC 3/26/2012 6:33PM

    That sounds like an excellent idea!

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ID_VANDAL 3/23/2012 7:12PM

    I think that card idea is great. I know I have certain exercises that I just don't like so if I do those cards then I'll have "no choice" it's on the card and I do it.

The only thing I would adapt is putting them in sets so I work my upper body one day and my legs the next and make sure I get the cardio in which I think your system does.

Thanks for sharing that.

Vandal

emoticon

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MRS_TOAD 3/22/2012 9:01AM

    That is an emoticon idea! What a way to mix it up.

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NEWKAREN43 3/21/2012 8:41PM

    By the way...the GymBoss is an interval timer and can be used as a stopwatch. You can get them on line at www.gymboss.com and they are under $20. And did I mention they come in PINK!?!?!

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RAINBOWCHOC 3/21/2012 6:50PM

    going to class AND exercising at home? I'm impressed!

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ELLFIN3 3/21/2012 3:46PM

    Sounds like a good plan to Me! Rock on!!!!!

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DETERMINEDJANET 3/21/2012 1:03AM

    Sounds like a great idea!

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_LINDA 3/21/2012 12:48AM

    Changing up your routine is critical in not hitting a plateau, and it also keeps it interesting. Great idea with the cards and the technology! All the best with it!!

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TEDDYBEARGIRL 3/21/2012 12:45AM

    Sounds like a great way to keep the workout from being boring

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PURESTILLWATER 3/20/2012 10:53PM

    What a wonderful idea.

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WATERMELLEN 3/20/2012 10:14PM

    Don't have a gymboss . . . but this sounds like a great concept. I'm all about variety in salads, soups . . . and have to say, not so much in fitness (tend to stick to elliptical for cardio, although I have quite a number of different ST routines that I change up).

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NEPTUNE1939 3/20/2012 9:18PM

    Sounds like an interesting way to have variety to avoid plateaus. I have several routines I use in bodybuilding but you have to stay with the program for four to 8 weeks. When a plateau is reached you change up.

Recognize though that muscle groups need time to rest "IF" your goal is to increase muscle strength which increases one's metabolism. Five days a week in this case could be a bit much if your exercises are intense. With my program I do strength training on Mon, Tue, Thr,Fri, with rest days on Tue, Sat, and Sun. I do moderate cardio on rest days and walk 30 Minutes every day. Hope this helps, Earl

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DILIGENTFAITH 3/20/2012 9:07PM

  So I am a little behind emoticon but I have no idea about the gymboss, but by the comment I realize it's a time but where can I get one? Good idea.

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