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THE HUMAN BODY

Monday, October 04, 2010

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's private area is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's...

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARGARITTM 10/6/2010 11:29AM

    3 x huh???? Well we'll just have to set up a research team! LOL

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GWCANNON 10/5/2010 1:42PM

    emoticonGood information. Now, I have to go check my Thumb!!!

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/4/2010 4:52PM

    you always make me laugh and smile, emoticon

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NHGRL68 10/4/2010 3:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 10/4/2010 3:54PM

    Very funny!!!! My hubs is sitting right here and I wanted to stop and check his thumb!! LOL!!!

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LIFE_IS_SO_GOOD 10/4/2010 1:48PM

    emoticon

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MBSKIT 10/4/2010 1:29PM

    emoticon

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MAIA2011 10/4/2010 1:12PM

    I'm glad to know about the thumbs because glove size and shoe size do NOT help!

emoticon

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BROWNIEISLANDER 10/4/2010 12:53PM

    Naughty!!!! emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWANGEL99 10/4/2010 11:56AM

    Yay!!! that is sooo funny! emoticon

emoticon

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STEPHIEKNITS 10/4/2010 11:24AM

    emoticon

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LAURAWILLBEFIT 10/4/2010 8:53AM

    emoticon funny!

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BEFIT014 10/4/2010 7:27AM

    emoticon Again, another rib-tickler! emoticon

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-POOKIE- 10/4/2010 6:12AM

    cool!!

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RHONDA_11 10/4/2010 5:53AM

    emoticon

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MICHELLEFROST 10/4/2010 4:28AM

    very good lol

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Pants and panties

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Just before Mike married Karen his father sat him down for a little chat saying,

“Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite,

I took off my pants, handed them to Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.'

She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'

Ever since that night, we have never had any problems. ”

Mike thought this was good advice, so on his honeymoon he took off his pants and said to Karen,

“Here, try these on..!”

She tried them on and said, “These are too large. They don't fit me.”

Mike said, “Exactly. I wear the pants in this family, and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.”

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike saying, “Here, you try on mine!”
Mike laughed and said, “I can't get into your panties.”

Karen said, “Exactly, and if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.”


emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEVORA4 10/6/2010 7:35AM

  You can always become a stand up comedian! emoticon emoticon

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GWCANNON 10/5/2010 1:43PM

    ROFLM emoticonOFF!!!

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/4/2010 4:50PM

    tha t was the best ever . my favorite. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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YASMINSHORTER 10/4/2010 3:58PM

    oh hahahaha loved it!

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LIFE_IS_SO_GOOD 10/4/2010 1:50PM

    Love, love, love this one!

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MAIA2011 10/4/2010 1:13PM

    THAT was a good one!

emoticon

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BROWNIEISLANDER 10/4/2010 12:49PM

    A winner!!! emoticon

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BLAKBIRD 10/4/2010 3:16AM

    emoticon emoticon

emoticon

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QUANNA76 10/4/2010 1:51AM

    Very good one

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 10/3/2010 10:27PM

    Smart girl!! My husband's grandma told him when we got married that he might be the head of the house, but his wife (ME) was the neck that made the head turn. She probably would have come back with an answer like this post if her husband had ever tried anything like that on her!! This made me laugh!!

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DEE107 10/3/2010 10:13PM

    lol

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TRACIEO3 10/3/2010 8:33PM

    wow, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A FLY ON THE WALL AT MY WEDDING!LOL

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PRETTYBLKGYRL 10/3/2010 8:15PM

    I LOVE IT!!!! emoticon

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NHGRL68 10/3/2010 7:53PM

    emoticonThat was GOOD! emoticon

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BEFIT014 10/3/2010 3:48PM

    emoticon Good one!!

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MBSKIT 10/3/2010 3:29PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DARLENEK04 10/3/2010 2:40PM

  L O L - Caz you never cease to come up with some interesting
posts....

Too funny............

As a reward for being such a good girl, I am going for a ride
on my Harley.

I have worked really hard this week to keep the weather stable
so BLAKBIRD can get in some quality riding time and I am going
to reward me.....

Have a wonderful day,
Darlene
PS: After reconsidering the miles between us, I decided to
wish you a wonderful week..............lol

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SHE-LION 10/3/2010 2:29PM

    That's what I'm talking aboutr!
emoticon

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MMS354 10/3/2010 2:24PM

    Ba haa haaaaa!!!!! emoticon

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-POOKIE- 10/3/2010 2:21PM

    emoticon

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THEREALME2011 10/3/2010 2:16PM

    lmbo emoticon

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BLUEANGELLK 10/3/2010 2:13PM

    LOL!!!! I love it!!!

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Why I'm divorced.......Priceless

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! '

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..'

I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'

We went to lunch.. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'

She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.





Cheers

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEVORA4 10/6/2010 7:37AM

  emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 10/5/2010 6:37AM

    Well, I am laughing here!--Poor you!!!--You either have as great sense of humor ---or are going to really get into ""dutch""--ha ha ha----- loved reading this!!!---

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LJCANNON 10/5/2010 1:19AM

    emoticonNever drink Coffee while reading one of New-Caz's Blogs!! My computer got a shower!!! emoticon

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LIFE_IS_SO_GOOD 10/4/2010 1:54PM

    oops ... emoticon

emoticon

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BLAKBIRD 10/4/2010 3:17AM

    Speaking of Birthday parties...

Hope yours was better than this poor chaps.

emoticon emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 10/3/2010 10:32PM

    Uh-oh!! Poor thing, totally ruined his birthday...great giggle!!

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NHGRL68 10/3/2010 7:52PM

    Ooops:-) emoticon

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BEFIT014 10/3/2010 3:54PM

    OMG! I fell off my chair emoticon

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TRAVELNISTA 10/3/2010 3:46PM

    emoticon

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ANNEMAC5 10/3/2010 1:35PM

    emoticon nice one.

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20TOGO20 10/3/2010 1:34PM

  Thanks for the giggle! emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 10/3/2010 1:30PM

    Glad you all enjoy a giggle, what better way to keep the men in white coats at bay emoticon emoticon

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MAIA2011 10/3/2010 1:06PM

    Where do you get all these? emoticon

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STEPHIEKNITS 10/3/2010 12:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RHONDA_11 10/3/2010 11:43AM

    emoticon

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MEADSBAY 10/3/2010 10:52AM

    emoticon

He got exactly what he deserved!

emoticon

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MISTYRITCHIE 10/3/2010 10:36AM

  That one made me laugh out loud literally...I dont know where you come up with these either but I am seriously going to have to "borrow" them.

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SMILES4383 10/3/2010 10:30AM

    What a jerk. LOLOL no wonder his wife divorced him.

GREAT LAUGH. emoticon

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MBSKIT 10/3/2010 10:19AM

    Oh that is funny!

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/3/2010 10:02AM

    caz you are too funny where oh were do you find these dont tell just keep them coming . you really brighten my day and make everything in life sweeter

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LAURAWILLBEFIT 10/3/2010 9:08AM

    emoticon that was a good one!
Thanks for the laugh!!!

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JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SONNYG1 10/3/2010 12:14PM

    emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/3/2010 10:00AM

    those were good. emoticon emoticon

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*MADHU* 10/3/2010 6:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GEOFROG 10/3/2010 12:16AM

    Loved these! Thank you for sharing!!! emoticon

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REJ7777 10/2/2010 11:38PM

    emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 10/2/2010 4:14PM

    Cute!! :)

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STEPHIEKNITS 10/2/2010 4:05PM

    emoticon

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JUST_TRI_IT 10/2/2010 12:09PM

    I thought I had a favorite but then I read the next one and the next one and ....

Needed these funnies for a dreary Saturday!



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MAIA2011 10/2/2010 11:52AM

    'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'

This one was my favorite until I got to the one about Satan being his dad. That one about killed me!

emoticon

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PALEAN 10/2/2010 10:21AM

    I love these!

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MBSKIT 10/2/2010 10:00AM

    those were cute and funny! Loved it!

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MEADSBAY 10/2/2010 9:18AM

    'call for backup' indeed!


emoticon

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BARNFISH 10/2/2010 8:18AM

    LOL
Thanks, I needed a laugh this morning.

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NHGRL68 10/2/2010 8:09AM

    LOl...Those were funny! I loved the little Johnny one! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RHONDA_11 10/2/2010 7:50AM

    emoticonThanks for the laugh! emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 10/2/2010 6:02AM

    Priceless Caz Priceless !! emoticon emoticon

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BEST AUSSIE PICK UP LINE EVER-

Saturday, October 02, 2010

An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..' The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
''What's so special about it?'
The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now
Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties.
The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says,' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'
emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 10/3/2010 6:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MISTYRITCHIE 10/2/2010 6:02PM

  That was a good one, I may have to "borrow" it. emoticon

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MISTYRITCHIE 10/2/2010 6:02PM

  That was a good one, I may have to "borrow" it. emoticon

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MISTYRITCHIE 10/2/2010 5:59PM

  That was a good one, I may have to "borrow" it. emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/2/2010 5:05PM

    i love auusie men they are the best at humor and loving life,

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MRE1956 10/2/2010 5:04PM

    emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 10/2/2010 4:14PM

    That's one naughty boy...wonder if it worked? lol!

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WEKIMER 10/2/2010 12:18PM

    emoticon

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JUST_TRI_IT 10/2/2010 12:09PM

    LOL!!!!!!!!! Ah Caz... You are naughty!

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MAIA2011 10/2/2010 11:55AM

    emoticonNaughty, naughty. I like it!

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NHGRL68 10/2/2010 8:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BAYSIDE07 10/2/2010 6:21AM

  emoticon

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MARITAK 10/2/2010 6:16AM

  emoticon emoticon

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BILL60 10/2/2010 5:59AM

    That's pretty good.

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