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An Old Farmer's Advice

Friday, June 04, 2010


An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. *

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.*

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.*

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.*

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.*

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.*

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.*

* Every path has a few puddles.*

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.*

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.*

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.*

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none..*

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.*

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.*

* Always drink upstream from the herd.*

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.*

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.*

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*
*Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.*
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
He'll just kill you..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

0309COOKIE 6/5/2010 2:18AM

    I'd like to stick whoever put that dog in that tree right in there themselves. Poor thing.

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SEXYVIXEN2 6/4/2010 6:09PM

    Sound advice!
Hope the poor little dog wasn't stuck for too long emoticonHe's a cutie!!

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MBSKIT 6/4/2010 10:25AM

    love the dog in the tree!

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_RAMONA 6/4/2010 9:52AM

    I LOVE old farmers! And there are a few here I need to pass on to my DD today...

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.*
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.*

...And for me, a refresher course:

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.*
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*

Can you tell hw things are going' at our house this week, LOL?

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
Ramona

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LOVESLIFE48 6/4/2010 8:16AM

    A lot of good points!!! Thanks for sharing!! emoticon

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BEFIT014 6/4/2010 6:56AM

    Lot of truth in that!
LOVE the photo!

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DAV128 6/4/2010 6:28AM

    Thank you very much. Your post did my heart good. Funny, but true sentiments all.

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KIMOTHY77 6/4/2010 6:07AM

    Love the photo:)

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ALEXSGIRL1 6/4/2010 6:00AM

    thank you for the good advice and the laughs.

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PTCAKES 6/4/2010 5:41AM

    All excellent advice.

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Just to get me points LOL

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Okay quick blog coz it's been a great day and I'm off out again in mo, just time to catch up on SP and get me points emoticon

Worked out this morning and showered and DH suggests we go to Rottingdean not far from Brighton for the day.
He could have mentioned this b4 I showered and just left my hair to dry natural, ready for a day on the sun lounger in the garden!
SO I go wash my hair and......oh I said a quick blog didn't I?
Okay spent the day in Rottingdean, light pub lunch; duck wraps and salad and a J2O, baking hot, lovely and brown, drove back, off to the rub a dub
Nite

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISES2 6/4/2010 6:01AM

    if you don't want to blog but want the points go to your planner and enter something in your journal,it's like a private blog

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NEW-CAZ 6/4/2010 3:22AM

    duck wraps are shreaded duck and spring onions, cucumber and hoisine sauce wrapped up in thin pancake like wraps.

rub a dub is Cockney rhyming slang for Pub

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1DEBIE1 6/3/2010 10:00PM

    Sounds like a lovely day!
emoticon

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DEVORA4 6/3/2010 9:01PM

  Next blog explain what are duck wraps and rub a dub. Thanks Have an awesome day. debby

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CHRYS13 6/3/2010 8:43PM

    Great to be honest! I can't think of a thing to write that I "need" to share, so usually don't! I applaud you!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 6/3/2010 7:03PM

    Sounds like a fun day, I'm hugry and your food is making my tummy rumble-LOL!! Time to make some dinner...

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SEXYVIXEN2 6/3/2010 6:40PM

    Glad you had a great day out hun!! emoticon

Hugs Angela emoticon

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DEE107 6/3/2010 5:54PM

    sounds like a great day

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TRENTDREAMER 6/3/2010 5:23PM

    Sounds like a good day.

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TASOGAREBAN 6/3/2010 4:20PM

    LOL love it. I'm guessing it was tons of fun, huh??

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YASMINSHORTER 6/3/2010 4:11PM

    Lovin' your honesty! U off to be already? It's still light out emoticon
Nite nite!

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CLAIRESML 6/3/2010 3:50PM

    sounds like a great day!

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MBSKIT 6/3/2010 3:50PM

    Glad you had a nice day!

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New zero tolerance speed cameras

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

*Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras* will be introduced soon!

The new, German made, cameras look different to the normal cameras,

I have included a photo , so that you are familiar with them.

Make sure *YOU DO NOT SPEED * when approaching one of these devices.

Please take this warning seriously as you will not get another chance.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FYRSTORME1 6/3/2010 3:28PM

    lol just what my day needed. I guess i don't have to worry then since i go slow running and driving

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MBSKIT 6/3/2010 3:03PM

    I'm not sure If I can out run that!

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ONECOOKIETWO 6/3/2010 12:07AM

    Darn, I run pretty fast.
How am I going to get a good workout now that they won't let me pass cars in a speed zone?
Dang!

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ALEXSGIRL1 6/2/2010 8:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TASOGAREBAN 6/2/2010 7:18PM

    OMG SexyVixen is right, LOLOLOL!

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SALLYSEAGULL1 6/2/2010 1:49PM

    emoticon emoticon

I don't know where you find your material! Do you have a double life as a well known comic??

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SEXYVIXEN2 6/2/2010 1:44PM

    emoticon
The Daleks have undergone a make-over emoticon

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DEBSZOO74 6/2/2010 11:55AM

    emoticon Thanks for the warning!

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LOVESLIFE48 6/2/2010 9:36AM

    OMG!!! How funny!! I'll keep a look out for them!!!! emoticon

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BEFIT014 6/2/2010 6:58AM

    emoticon

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DEVORA4 6/2/2010 6:15AM

  emoticon I'll be careful emoticondebby

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SPIFFYCAT 6/2/2010 5:37AM

    he he he he he he he he he emoticon

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ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSHOWYOULIVE 6/3/2010 7:07PM

    hehehe! He deserved it!1

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0309COOKIE 6/2/2010 11:21AM

    Ha, ha, ha, justifiable homicide. That is almost as funny as the joke.

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BEFIT014 6/2/2010 7:00AM

    emoticon emoticon Justifiable Homicide emoticon

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ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEE107 6/2/2010 7:17PM

    lol good one

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SEXYVIXEN2 6/2/2010 1:36PM

    A fitting end to the male chauvinist!! He got what he deserved!! emoticon

Go, Carol Anne!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/2/2010 1:43:12 PM

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