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Male Logic. Men do listen!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Here is proof that husbands do listen to their wives.

Milk and eggs

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband,
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,
And if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."


(Do you need to read it again?)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEXIE63 4/8/2012 5:51AM

    I read it out to my son-in-law and he got it straightaway! :-)

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DOOBRIE 3/27/2012 2:45PM

    Like one I saw on Facebook today:

First man: Sitting in my garden with a bottle of wine whilst spouse is counting how many glasses I have.

Second man: I've got 3 pairs normal, reactive and sunglasses.

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REJ7777 3/27/2012 4:54AM

    emoticon

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DEE107 3/26/2012 6:24PM

    lol no dont need to read again lol

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LIBELULITA 3/26/2012 4:34PM

    That's about right!! emoticon

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ANNEMAC5 3/26/2012 1:41PM

    ok got it when I re-read it. logical to the male brain emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 3/26/2012 8:55AM

    It does make sense... the second time you read it... emoticon emoticon

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WIGIME 3/26/2012 7:46AM

    Well I guess it's time to make custard and a lot of it!

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HEALTHY4ME 3/26/2012 7:41AM

    Mur would do that just to prove logic. LOL well she did say that. MEN ! argh he knew what she meant. lol

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IMIN2GENES 3/26/2012 7:25AM

    Good one! emoticon

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MEADSBAY 3/26/2012 7:11AM

    Saw that one coming! emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/26/2012 7:10AM

    That what she ask for.They had eggs emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 3/26/2012 6:53AM

    emoticon

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SHAWFAN 3/26/2012 6:49AM

    emoticon

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JOHNWBROCKSR777 3/26/2012 6:06AM

    Not me...lol

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SPARKLEIIGHGAL 3/26/2012 5:40AM

    Yes. David says that's logical!! emoticon

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LEXIE63 3/26/2012 4:57AM

    Yes, I had to read it again! LOLOL

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The Perfect Man

Saturday, March 24, 2012

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like "Brian!

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his " widow !"



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 3/27/2012 5:02AM

    How true that we tend to remember mostly the good qualities of those we love after they're gone. But when they're alive, their idiosyncrasies can get on our nerves. Not Brian though, he didn't have any.

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LIBELULITA 3/25/2012 3:14PM

    Hahaha!!! Love it!! Poor guy being constantly compared to some dead man! emoticon

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BLUEBIRDSFLY 3/25/2012 12:54PM

    Loved it!!! Well done, Caz. emoticon

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THAIBEAUKITTY 3/25/2012 9:19AM

    emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 3/25/2012 9:13AM

    Don't forget that they crucified the last perfect guy! emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 3/25/2012 7:05AM

    LOL gotta go back see what I missed, got unsubscribed, and thought haven't seen or heard from Caz... better check on her! LOL

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SPARKLEIIGHGAL 3/25/2012 6:51AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LEXIE63 3/25/2012 6:35AM

    I knew there was going to be a good punchline! LOL

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DEE107 3/24/2012 11:09PM

    lol

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TRAVELNISTA 3/24/2012 8:38PM

    emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 3/24/2012 7:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/24/2012 7:57PM

    Yep the perfect man!!! I can relate at time emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 3/24/2012 6:54PM

    emoticon

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SHAWFAN 3/24/2012 5:48PM

    emoticonShould have seen that one coming!

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what is paraprosdokian?

Friday, March 23, 2012

It is quite witty.



Paraprosdokian is the "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

Some other examples:

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted pay cheques.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DFROMTX 3/26/2012 5:40AM

    Chuckles are a good way to start Monday morning. emoticon

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WHISPERINGPINE7 3/24/2012 10:03AM

  emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 3/24/2012 9:24AM

    These are awesome!! #14 I LOL!!!!

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RITZIBROWN 3/24/2012 9:07AM

    emoticon

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DEE107 3/23/2012 10:57PM

    lol

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LIBELULITA 3/23/2012 6:21PM

    There were lots I loved there...I only wish I could hold them in my memory and pull them out at the perfect moments emoticon emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/23/2012 2:38PM

    emoticon

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THAIBEAUKITTY 3/23/2012 9:25AM

    Love it!

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 3/23/2012 8:40AM

    Love them all and probably stealing a few!
emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 3/23/2012 8:16AM

    Great Stuff... enjoyed the giggles! emoticon

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SHAWFAN 3/23/2012 8:13AM

    Gonna share these!

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SHAWFAN 3/23/2012 8:09AM

    Love it!! Thanks for sharing!

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SPARKLEIIGHGAL 3/23/2012 7:10AM

    emoticon

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JOHNWBROCKSR777 3/23/2012 5:39AM

    yep

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LEXIE63 3/23/2012 5:25AM

    I love these sorts of sentences and phrases, but had no idea what they were called collectively. So thankyou for being today's "You learn something new every day". :-)

Some very funny ones in that list, so you gave me my first LOL of the day too!

Win. Win.

Hugs,
Lex xxx
emoticon

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ANNEMAC5 3/23/2012 5:15AM

    So clever. Now I know a new word and plenty of great one liners.
Anne :)

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MARYJOANNA 3/23/2012 5:13AM

  Excellent blog! My favorite is #25. It is so true!

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The Best Natural Remedies to Treat PMS

Thursday, March 22, 2012

www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/body/
healthy-toolkit/natural-pms-remedies/?
sssdmh=dm17.586956&esrc=nwfitdailytip0
32112&email=3645200074

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEE107 3/22/2012 7:35PM

    thanks for sharing

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WHISPERINGPINE7 3/22/2012 11:18AM

  emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/22/2012 10:13AM

    I'll pass on that one You Ladies are too dangerous when you PMS emoticon

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THAIBEAUKITTY 3/22/2012 9:48AM

    emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 3/22/2012 8:29AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 3/22/2012 7:37AM

    emoticon

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Oops!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me."

"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole thing! But, enough about me, how are you doing?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELNISTA 3/24/2012 8:35PM

    emoticon

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LIBELULITA 3/22/2012 11:38AM

    emoticon emoticon He couldn't have deserved it more!!

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JOYINKY 3/22/2012 10:20AM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/22/2012 10:12AM

    He won't steel another drink

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ELSEEBEE 3/22/2012 7:49AM

    emoticon That would be my luck! emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 3/22/2012 7:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 3/22/2012 7:07AM

    BaHaHaHa!!!
emoticon

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SPARKLEIIGHGAL 3/22/2012 6:13AM

    emoticon

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JOHNWBROCKSR777 3/22/2012 5:53AM

    yep

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MARYJOANNA 3/22/2012 5:51AM

  Good one!

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LEXIE63 3/22/2012 5:38AM

    Awesome! LOLOL

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 3/22/2012 4:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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