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Irish Petrol Station-sales promotion

Monday, December 05, 2011

petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales.

So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'
Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry.. No sex this time.'
A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another
fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Paddy guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free sex this time.'
As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy,
'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'

Paddy replied, 'No it ain't, Mick. It's not rigged at all at all.

My wife won twice last week.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVENGO2 12/8/2011 12:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELAINESHAFF 12/6/2011 9:16PM

    oh, oh
emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/5/2011 1:07PM

    emoticon

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TRAVELNISTA 12/5/2011 11:23AM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/5/2011 11:02AM

    emoticon emoticon

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IDLETYME 12/5/2011 10:44AM

    oops!!! emoticon

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BOE4LIFE 12/5/2011 10:14AM

    Awesome

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KATHRYNLP 12/5/2011 9:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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WOLFSPIRITMOM 12/5/2011 9:23AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JOYINKY 12/5/2011 8:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/5/2011 7:41AM

    OH that Paddy is a smart lad!! LOL

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SLIMMERKIWI 12/5/2011 4:15AM

    emoticon

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LEXIE63 12/5/2011 4:00AM

    *groan* LOL

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Some Irish Jokes to brighten Sunday

Sunday, December 04, 2011


> Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
>
> "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
>
> Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
>
> Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
>
> It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
>
> Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the
> Bloody thing up.
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
>
> Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her
> Contractions are only two minutes apart!"
>
> "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
>
> "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
>
>
> Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to
> Avoid a tree, then another, then another.
>
> A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road.
>
> Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
>
> Cop says "For god’s sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging
> About!"
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
>
> An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
>
> His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
>
> He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
>
> "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
>
> "Here boy" he replies.
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
>
> Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his
> Feet.
>
> "What the hell you doing?" he asks.
>
> "Hangin’ meself" Paddy replies.
>
> "It should be around your neck" says the Guard.
>
> "I tried dat" says Paddy "but I couldn't breathe".
>
> .. ………………. ..........................................
.................
>
> An American tourist asks an Irish dive master: "Why do Scuba divers
> always fall backwards off their boats?"
>
> To which the Irishman replies: "If they fell forwards, they'd still be
> in the bloody boat

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 12/6/2011 5:39AM

    "Here boy," cracked me up. Not only can the dog fetch the paper, he can read it.

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TRAVELNISTA 12/5/2011 11:25AM

    Loved this one:

Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her
Contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"


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STEVENGO2 12/5/2011 12:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RITZIBROWN 12/4/2011 10:34PM

    emoticon great way to end my day. Thanks!

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DEE107 12/4/2011 10:28PM

    lol good ones

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LOSTLIME 12/4/2011 8:33PM

    Thanks for the laughs!I am Irish. They were great!

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FLASUN 12/4/2011 7:52PM

    emoticon Thanks Caz for the laughs!!! emoticon

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CATLADY52 12/4/2011 7:22PM

    Still laughing. emoticon

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JUST_BREATHE08 12/4/2011 4:51PM

    emoticonI loved these. Thank you so much for sharing!! emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 12/4/2011 4:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BOOKWORM27S 12/4/2011 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 12/4/2011 1:46PM

    Thanks for the laughs. I will definitely have to share them with my mother as she's heard all sorts of Polish jokes from my Irish father.

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/4/2011 11:29AM

    Loved these!! emoticon

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JENNYBAKER247 12/4/2011 11:16AM

    Brilliant! Loved the laugh!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Now let me try ....
emoticon

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SHOAPIE 12/4/2011 10:50AM

    emoticon

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WOLFSPIRITMOM 12/4/2011 10:38AM

    Wow! emoticon emoticon

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ROJAKHAN 12/4/2011 10:26AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ANDYINBC 12/4/2011 9:49AM

    My two favorites were the Paddy and he Trees, along with the Scuba Diver. Thanks for adding a laugh to our day.

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CHIEF_GEEK 12/4/2011 9:32AM

    Too funny!

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SHARJOPAUL 12/4/2011 9:24AM

    Thanks for the smiles.

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LIBELULITA 12/4/2011 9:09AM

    Loved the first one and the last one!!! emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 12/4/2011 9:08AM

    Love these!! Thanks for the laugh!!! Have an awesome Sunday!!

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JOYINKY 12/4/2011 9:02AM

    Lots of smiles then a LOL on the last one! Thanks!

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IDLETYME 12/4/2011 8:52AM

    Great!! emoticon emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/4/2011 8:39AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LEXIE63 12/4/2011 8:18AM

    LOL emoticon

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ONEWAYSTREET 12/4/2011 7:06AM

  lol emoticon

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GABY1948 12/4/2011 6:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LUCKIEST24 12/4/2011 5:31AM

    What a great way to start a day. Thanks, Caz!!

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RAPUNZEL53 12/4/2011 4:29AM

  emoticon

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Fat Proof your holidays

Sunday, December 04, 2011

www.fitnessmagazine.com/weight-loss/
tips/holiday/fat-proof-your-holidays/?
sssdmh=dm17.563234&esrc=nwfitdailytip1
20111&email=3645200074

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEE107 12/4/2011 10:30PM

    thank you

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LOVESLIFE48 12/4/2011 9:09AM

    Thanks!!! emoticon

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Are you from Ireland? LOL

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.



After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland ..'

The other guy responds proudly, 'Yes, that I am!'


The first guy says, 'So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be'?

The other guy answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'

The first guy responds, 'So am I!'

'Sure and begorra. And what street did you live on in Dublin ?

The other guy says, 'A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.'

The first guy says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going'?

The other guy answers, 'Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course.'

The first guy gets really excited and says, 'And so did I.. Tell me, what year did you graduate'?

The other guy answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first guy exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!'

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Vicky asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian'?

'The Murphy twins are pissed again.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVENGO2 12/5/2011 12:30AM

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PATRICIAANN46 12/3/2011 9:31PM

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DEE107 12/3/2011 6:19PM

    lol

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CATLADY52 12/3/2011 4:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEADSBAY 12/3/2011 12:25PM

    Yup- a looooooooooooooooong night, indeedy!
emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/3/2011 12:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROJAKHAN 12/3/2011 10:34AM

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IDLETYME 12/3/2011 10:22AM

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JOYINKY 12/3/2011 10:17AM

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DIDMIS 12/3/2011 10:12AM

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NPA4LOSS 12/3/2011 9:13AM

    I knew it was coming but I just kept reading! emoticon emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/3/2011 8:53AM

    emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 12/3/2011 8:52AM

    Thanks for the chuckles! emoticon

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RITZIBROWN 12/3/2011 8:35AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 12/3/2011 8:23AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GABY1948 12/3/2011 7:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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INFLATED 12/3/2011 6:21AM

    LOL!

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PAMNANGEL 12/3/2011 4:09AM

    emoticon

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LIBELULITA 12/3/2011 3:59AM

    Hahaha....I didn't see that coming!!!

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SLENDERELLA61 12/3/2011 3:48AM

    Another good one, Caz!

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Golfer LOL

Saturday, December 03, 2011

A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course..

As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, "Don't you seethe sign? It says, 'Private property - Stay Out!'"

The golfer says, "I'm sorry I did not see it. That is myball there. May I have it, please?"

The man says, "It's in my yard and so it's my ball now."

The golfer looks at the man and says, "I understand."

He then walks back to the golf cart, gets another golf ball,then walks back and throws it into the yard.

The man says, "What is that for?"

The golfer replies, "I consider myself a gentleman, and I believe every prick should have two balls."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVENGO2 12/4/2011 12:48AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/3/2011 12:13PM

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TRAVELNISTA 12/3/2011 11:10AM

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ROJAKHAN 12/3/2011 10:34AM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 12/3/2011 10:23AM

    Great comeback emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 12/3/2011 8:50AM

    Good one!!

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PATTYKLAVER 12/3/2011 8:43AM

    If only I could have comebacks like that...lol

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LUCKIEST24 12/3/2011 8:03AM

    Good comeback!!

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JOHNWBROCKSR777 12/3/2011 6:35AM

    lol

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LIBELULITA 12/3/2011 3:57AM

    Excellent!! I can just imagine my Dad doing this actually!!

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