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THE PARKING TICKET garnet joke

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into the local coffee shop for a snack . I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was this cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His insensitivity annoyed me, so I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and then wrote out another ticket for having worn tires.

So I proceeded to call him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him a 'moron in blue.'

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't really care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had one of those bumper stickers that said, ' Obama 2012.'

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. The doctor tells me that it's important for my health.


wouldn't you just love to be a emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELAINESHAFF 3/27/2011 12:19PM

    Oh my, I wouldn't want to be that car owner.

emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/27/2011 12:19:56 PM

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WHGRN60 3/26/2011 10:32PM

    emoticon

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KARENSTAR1 3/26/2011 9:14PM

    Oh my, that is absolutely hilarious!!!

Can you hear me laughing all the way across the big pond?

You are a stitch!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STEPHIEKNITS 3/26/2011 2:40PM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/26/2011 10:36AM

    Poo car owner you emoticon

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WIGIME 3/26/2011 5:12AM

    lol - good one Caz!

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ANIMALMAGIC 3/26/2011 3:42AM

  Great one Caz! emoticon emoticon

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Pearl of Wisdom

Friday, March 25, 2011

Brief is life but love is long emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANIMALMAGIC 3/25/2011 6:10PM

  Oh yeah! emoticon

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MEADSBAY 3/25/2011 5:32PM

    If you're lucky!
emoticon

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STEPHIEKNITS 3/25/2011 12:21PM

    emoticon

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DEE107 3/25/2011 12:02PM

    greAT wisdom for sure thanks

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JESS0107 3/25/2011 11:11AM

    So true

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 3/25/2011 10:34AM

    emoticon

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LEXIE63 3/25/2011 7:53AM

    emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 3/25/2011 5:55AM

    How true and you don't ever realize it while day to day things get in the way.
HUGS

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ANNEMAC5 3/25/2011 4:21AM

    Sweet. emoticon

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Computer Problem In Florida

Friday, March 25, 2011

Technical Support, how can I help you?


FEMALE CALLER: 'Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noises at me so I shut it down. This morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing'.


TECH SUPPORT: 'I will have a technician come over first thing this morning.
Leave the computer just like it is, so they can find the problem and fix it, or change it out with another computer. Give me your address; phone number and the technician will be there just as soon as he can'.


When the technician got there, the lady showed him where the computer was,
said what happened to it, ... this is what the technician found wrong.



Take a look at the pictures... YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES .....
And you thought YOU had computer problems!!!



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELAINESHAFF 3/26/2011 9:13PM

    I have always said "the only good snake is a dead snake". Glad it wasn't my computer, I would freak out to the max!!

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WHGRN60 3/25/2011 8:21PM

    YIKES!!!!!!

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INGMARIE 3/25/2011 11:46AM

    Scarry, emoticon but I like snakes (outside) hope the little fella is still alive.

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JESS0107 3/25/2011 11:19AM

    Can someone say Laptop!?

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SENATOR9 3/25/2011 10:55AM

    Very frightening emoticon

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 3/25/2011 10:33AM

    Where do you find a computer tech to come the next day??

I wonder what kind of snake it was - going for the warmth is rather obvious since snakes are cold blooded - makes me want to check the back of my computer, lol. NOT.

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LUCKIEST24 3/25/2011 10:14AM

    I think I would have freaked! How the....????

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LEXIE63 3/25/2011 7:52AM

    The poor snake! And the poor lady! What a shock!
Explains the hissing of course. :-)
Unlikely to ever be an issue here, I'm thankful to say. :-)

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PATTYKLAVER 3/25/2011 7:22AM

    I'm glad it wasn't my computer!

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GRAMMYEAC 3/25/2011 5:57AM

    Unusual repair problem!

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WIGIME 3/25/2011 5:05AM

    OMG!! How in the heck did that snake get in there? Wait, don't answer. I don't want to know.

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ANNEMAC5 3/25/2011 4:20AM

    SCREAM !!!!
emoticon

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UNCOMMONANGEL 3/25/2011 3:58AM

    OMG that poor snake!!!!

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REJ7777 3/25/2011 3:55AM

    Yikes!!! emoticon

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Whats on a bag?

Thursday, March 24, 2011





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHGRN60 3/24/2011 8:44PM

    That Ann Sommers bag doesn't surprise me a bit!

Those are some cool bags--very clever!

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LJCANNON 3/24/2011 8:23PM

    The Abs ones would be one sure fire way to get Hubby to carry in the Grocerys!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/24/2011 7:01PM

    emoticon

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MRS.DOYLE 3/24/2011 6:32PM

    Why can't I invent something like those and get rich? Hey ho!

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ANIMALMAGIC 3/24/2011 5:58PM

  Love 'em!
emoticon

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DEE107 3/24/2011 3:50PM

    so cute

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GAMMAKISS 3/24/2011 1:28PM

    These beat those "little brown bags" !! I love these... emoticon

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LUCKIEST24 3/24/2011 1:05PM

    People are so danged clever!

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LAURAWILLBEFIT 3/24/2011 12:49PM

    Loved it! emoticon
I liked the weight one the best!

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STEPHIEKNITS 3/24/2011 12:19PM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 3/24/2011 11:30AM

    specially the last one you don't want to be driving when you spot her emoticon

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CAZ5346 3/24/2011 11:26AM

    Wonder how much those bags cost a store to have made? They are cute. Thanks for sharing.

Carol

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DEFIANTVEGAN 3/24/2011 11:10AM

    too Funny~ emoticon

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JESS0107 3/24/2011 11:09AM

    Those are too cute!

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 3/24/2011 10:38AM

    too funny!

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MEADSBAY 3/24/2011 10:27AM

    hahahaha!
Never saw any of these!
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WIGIME 3/24/2011 7:09AM

    Cute

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CHRYS13 3/24/2011 6:11AM

    emoticon

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SHECHAM 3/24/2011 6:10AM

    Lol emoticon

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GRAMMYEAC 3/24/2011 5:56AM

    What will they think of next???

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HEALTHY4ME 3/24/2011 5:56AM

    LOL funny love the butt one! be neat in summer with shorts and then to see a nice toned lower body! haha

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-POOKIE- 3/24/2011 5:37AM

    cool :P

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TWOTIMESS 3/24/2011 5:09AM

    Very creative!

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EXENEC 3/24/2011 5:09AM

  Great street photography!

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YAGERMONSTER 3/24/2011 4:57AM

    Sweet, it makes me want to shop where he shops. lol
Thanks for sharing.
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THE TOILET SEAT LOL

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.

They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAJ0621 3/25/2011 11:29AM

    emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 3/24/2011 11:44AM

    emoticonToo cute!

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JESS0107 3/24/2011 11:28AM

    emoticon

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ELAINESHAFF 3/23/2011 10:52PM

    Oh My!! I can't stop chuckling.
emoticon

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WALLAHALLA 3/23/2011 9:08PM

    Thanks for the laugh!

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SENATOR9 3/23/2011 8:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WHGRN60 3/23/2011 7:26PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SCHAHARAZADE 3/23/2011 7:06PM

    emoticonMounted and framed!! indeed!!

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EMMABE1 3/23/2011 6:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CAZ5346 3/23/2011 6:49PM

    Thank you for the huge chuckle!!

Carol

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AKELAZ 3/23/2011 6:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 3/23/2011 6:14PM

    emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/23/2011 6:07PM

    Very quick with the reply wasn't he? emoticon

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CHERYLE51 3/23/2011 5:44PM

    Too funny! emoticon

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LAURAWILLBEFIT 3/23/2011 5:36PM

    emoticon so funny!
Thanks for the laugh today! emoticon

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TWOTIMESS 3/23/2011 5:25PM

    emoticon

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KATVHALE 3/23/2011 5:23PM

    hahahaha too funny!

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DEE107 3/23/2011 5:18PM

    what a good one

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GVANSCOOT 3/23/2011 5:13PM

    OMG! emoticon

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LISAWILLBEFIT 3/23/2011 5:06PM

    lol

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ANIMALMAGIC 3/23/2011 5:05PM

  emoticon emoticon

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MEADSBAY 3/23/2011 5:04PM

    And, that my dear, is why I became a teacher and not a nurse!
emoticon

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ANNEMAC5 3/23/2011 4:25PM

    emoticonnow I have that vision in my head.

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