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Scottish Christmas joke!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Your First Christmas Joke - and it's Scottish..........

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,
"I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".


Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYONE2008 12/11/2010 11:01PM

    That was great, still laughing. Something that I am tempted to try.

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BEST_LIFE_NOW 12/11/2010 10:36AM

  emoticon

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DOOBRIE 12/11/2010 3:06AM

    Love it!

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ELAINESHAFF 12/10/2010 7:53PM

    As always, don't mess with the seniors. They are smarter than you are.

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LADYIRISH317 12/10/2010 11:38AM

    I've heard variations of this one, but it's always wonderful. Thanks for a good chuckle to start the day!

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LUCKIEST24 12/10/2010 11:24AM

    that'll get 'em running every time! Thanks, Caz!

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GATOR12 12/10/2010 11:15AM

    emoticon

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GEOFROG 12/10/2010 10:42AM

    Love it! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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LJCANNON 12/10/2010 10:04AM

    emoticonIs that Teamwork or manipulation?
HHHMMMM?!?!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLP461 12/10/2010 10:02AM

    Love this one!

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MBSKIT 12/10/2010 9:50AM

    emoticon

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VALERIENEAL 12/10/2010 8:40AM

    I saw this some were else this week, but I loved it so much I went back and read it again, almost shared it with you as I knew you would love it!!!

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GVANSCOOT 12/10/2010 8:19AM

  Caz only you could come up with a punchline like this...LOL

Greg

Comment edited on: 12/10/2010 8:19:35 AM

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LISAWILLBEFIT 12/10/2010 7:08AM

    LOL...what a great way to get the kids home.

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ELAOPET 12/10/2010 6:39AM

    HAHAHAHAAA love it!

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RAINBOWANGEL99 12/10/2010 6:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Good one Caz!

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SENATOR9 12/10/2010 6:24AM

    Very good thanks emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/10/2010 6:11AM

    LOL omg love it! too funny! going to tell that to hubby and kids. lol

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LUVDOGZ 12/10/2010 6:05AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MILLYMOUSE1 12/10/2010 5:31AM

    Would you believe I have had the email twice this week hehehe

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YAGERMONSTER 12/10/2010 5:11AM

    Very nice. I hopped on tonight looking for a blog to make me laugh and yours hit the right spot. Thanks for posting and keep up the good work. :D

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SUSIEPH1 12/10/2010 5:05AM

  That is very funny Caz ... I just loved it !!
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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DEVORA4 12/10/2010 4:32AM

  That tickled my funny bone. They have said Scottish are cheap. I don't know as I have not associated with any. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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If only.............

Thursday, December 09, 2010

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmzgkMsf_GQ

Remember a dog is for life...........not for Christmas

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELAOPET 12/12/2010 6:37AM

    emoticon

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CATLADY52 12/10/2010 10:26AM

    Very good. Does he do windows? emoticon

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AVRENIM1 12/9/2010 11:10PM

    CAZ YOU ARE THE emoticon

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RAINBOWANGEL99 12/9/2010 9:31PM

    Ohhh! I wants me a Harvey dawg emoticon... He's so cute I think I'd take him without his Xtra abilities! I love the bit at the end when he has his case packed.
Thanks Caz for making me smile emoticon emoticon

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DEVORA4 12/9/2010 9:11PM

  LOVED THIS. It reminded me of the old Jimmy StewART MOVIE"Harvey". Harvey was a 6 foot rabbit that only Jimmy saw. emoticon emoticon

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ELAINESHAFF 12/9/2010 8:24PM

    If only a man was as good as Harvey. emoticon

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MEADSBAY 12/9/2010 7:01PM

    Cute!
emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 12/9/2010 6:13PM

  Loved it Caz ! Thank you ...
Hugs Susie emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/9/2010 5:44PM

    His name Harvey just as I thought a male dog doing all the chores emoticon

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DEE107 12/9/2010 5:01PM

    Can I have one of those esp to irom the clothes

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LAURELSPARK 12/9/2010 4:31PM

    That was so cute...........I would love that pup even if he didn't do all of my chores!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 12/9/2010 3:21PM

    The ad is very cute, but yes, dogs, especially puppies, are not Christmas presents...I could easily get up on that soap box....the ad is an adorable way to promote shelter dogs! (One of the best dog I've ever had came from a shelter (great dane/bull mastiff cross).)

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MBSKIT 12/9/2010 2:51PM

    emoticon

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BITEMENCO 12/9/2010 2:43PM

    I wouldn't mind a Harvey...does he do litter boxes, too? LOL

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ANNEMAC5 12/9/2010 2:32PM

    very clever. emoticon

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VALERIENEAL 12/9/2010 2:20PM

    I couldn't watch but I know what you mean, it's like rabbits and chicks for Easter....

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What kind of drinker are you?

Thursday, December 09, 2010

6 beers

2 glasses of wine

2 bottles of wine .. Shared, of course

Too many margaritas

3 kamikazes

7 rum and Cokes

1 LARGE purple haze

3 Martinis

1 Bottle of Tequila



Hope this makes you smile

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AVRENIM1 12/9/2010 11:08PM

    OMG!!! Of COURSE!!! emoticon

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RAINBOWANGEL99 12/9/2010 9:19PM

    emoticon A they're A*D*O*R*A*B*L*E!!! Sooo CUTE...reminds me of how my dog looked when he was a pup emoticon

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ELAINESHAFF 12/9/2010 8:22PM

    They are so cute!!! Brought smiles to my face.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOYINKY 12/9/2010 6:22PM

    These were great; still smiling! Thanks!

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MEMARE 12/9/2010 2:27PM

    Those were adorable! Thank you so much for sharing! emoticon

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_RAMONA 12/9/2010 2:17PM

    SMILE, I did! Thanks, Caz... and back at ya on the day!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
Ramona

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TWEETYKC00 12/9/2010 11:43AM

    this is great!

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ANNEMAC5 12/9/2010 11:41AM

    These pictures are so adorable emoticon emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/9/2010 10:22AM

    Oh oh I'm a rum drinker (at time ) emoticon

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LEAG0628 12/9/2010 9:47AM

    emoticon

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DEBBIEKAY1 12/9/2010 9:32AM

    emoticon

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BEST_LIFE_NOW 12/9/2010 9:20AM

  Oh my gosh ... thanks for cracking me up. These guys are so cute!

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VALERIENEAL 12/9/2010 9:05AM

    emoticon

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MBSKIT 12/9/2010 9:04AM

    these little guys are just to cute!

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GVANSCOOT 12/9/2010 8:30AM

  I love these pictures. The first picture is how my Snuggles sleeps at night.

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LUCKIEST24 12/9/2010 8:15AM

    You rock, Caz! You made my day for sure!!!

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DEVORA4 12/9/2010 7:50AM

  Cazzie, You have outdone yourself. Utterly wonderful pics of adorable litties and doggies. The white dog with his legs dangling over the sofa was the best. Like it? No I LOVED IT!!!! Thanks, thanks and thanks again.

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MEADSBAY 12/9/2010 7:39AM

    EXACTLY why I quit!
emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 12/9/2010 7:33AM

    The bottle of tequila and the 3 martini corgi both look like a puppy version of the yoga pictures (Relaxation pose)-lol!! Very cute!

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HISARTIST 12/9/2010 7:18AM

    Nice. You had me worried for a minute! What if you look like that after water?? Have a great day!!

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REJ7777 12/9/2010 7:09AM

    Awww... can't look at those cuties without smiling. Thanks!

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LISAWILLBEFIT 12/9/2010 7:01AM

    they are so adorable.I dont drink.

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JAMBABY0 12/9/2010 6:46AM

    this is adorable thanks for sharing!!

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Rudolph LOL

Wednesday, December 08, 2010



REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME



According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known…...

ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

emoticon

A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEVORA4 12/9/2010 7:53AM

  emoticon emoticonSo now we sing, "Rudolphette, the red nose reindeer."

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HISARTIST 12/9/2010 7:26AM

    Love it!!! emoticon emoticon

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CHRYS13 12/9/2010 5:54AM

    Absolutely! emoticon

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LISAWILLBEFIT 12/9/2010 5:43AM

    lol so true and i love the reindeer.

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ELAINESHAFF 12/8/2010 9:30PM

    emoticon

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PAMINHALF 12/8/2010 9:14PM

  Very cute!

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REJ7777 12/8/2010 6:36PM

    emoticon

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STEPHIEKNITS 12/8/2010 5:45PM

    emoticon

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MBSKIT 12/8/2010 3:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 12/8/2010 3:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LUCKIEST24 12/8/2010 3:02PM

    Not a surprise, Caz!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 12/8/2010 2:37PM

    Well, that figures!! Shoulda' known!!

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ANNEMAC5 12/8/2010 11:48AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon It just confirms what we women knew

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SENATOR9 12/8/2010 10:26AM

    Let's not forget the man is sitting the women is doing all the work emoticon

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MLAYESKI 12/8/2010 10:06AM

    LMAO emoticon

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MLAYESKI 12/8/2010 10:06AM

    LMAO emoticon

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ASHLEYKAT 12/8/2010 9:51AM

    Hehe. I like that one!

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VALERIENEAL 12/8/2010 9:27AM

    As Snoopy says 'HHHAAAA HHHAAA HHHEEEE HHEEEE HHHHOOOOO HHHHOOOO HHHHAAA HAAAA"

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MEADSBAY 12/8/2010 8:47AM

    If I've seen that once, I've seen it a thousand times!

emoticon

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SCREWIE 12/8/2010 8:41AM

    emoticon

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MARENAMOO 12/8/2010 8:29AM

    And let him take all of the glory! While all Rudolph gets is a silly song!

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BEST_LIFE_NOW 12/8/2010 8:19AM

  Isn't that the truth! emoticon

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GVANSCOOT 12/8/2010 8:19AM

  Wow! LOL

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JOYINKY 12/8/2010 8:10AM

    A MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours too!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/8/2010 8:11:10 AM

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DEE107 12/8/2010 8:06AM

    thanks for the giggles

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IRISHLASS117 12/8/2010 6:38AM

    LMAO, thank you for reminding me that girls rule and boys drool.


emoticon

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RHONDA_11 12/8/2010 6:22AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TWOTIMESS 12/8/2010 6:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SWAZY33 12/8/2010 6:03AM

    Thanks for my morning smile emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/8/2010 5:53AM

    LOL love it!!! how true!

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JEANNIEMAG 12/8/2010 5:45AM

    You are toooo funny! Thanks for the many laughs. Have a great day!

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-POOKIE- 12/8/2010 5:36AM

    emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 12/8/2010 4:49AM

  Lovely Caz .. So So true ... hugs Susie

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Pandas smile

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

There's a place in China taking care of baby pandas and so that they don't get used to humans the keepers have to dress as pandas
If this doesn't make you smile...........well you have no heart emoticon
Enjoy! emoticon www.lbc.co.uk/scientists-dress-up-to
-fool-pandas-photos-33556//album/scien
tists_dressing_up_as_pandas/902

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEE107 12/9/2010 8:29AM

    thanks for making me smile

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HISARTIST 12/9/2010 7:28AM

    Saw this on the news. It was funny because the newcasters said that they want everything to be as normal as possible for the pandas...and then they pointed out how ridiculous the people in the panda suits look and how that was REALLY normal for them. They did look pretty silly. emoticon

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LISAWILLBEFIT 12/9/2010 7:04AM

    I think that is wonderful that they want these pandas to be able to survivie in the wild so much that they would go that far.How wonderful.Lisa

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 12/8/2010 2:40PM

    Very cute!!

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SQUINKLY 12/7/2010 10:55PM

    Too funny! How cute!

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NHGRL68 12/7/2010 8:27PM

    I saw this on the news:-) Too cute!!! emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 12/7/2010 3:42PM

  Lovely Caz Thank you !
How sweet they are gorgeous !! both the babies and the keepers !!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOYINKY 12/7/2010 2:57PM

    Love it! Love Pandas!

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GVANSCOOT 12/7/2010 1:21PM

  Are they looking for help?

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REJ7777 12/7/2010 1:11PM

    I hope it works! emoticon

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CATLADY_56 12/7/2010 1:04PM

    Very very cute

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AKELAZ 12/7/2010 11:43AM

    Aaaah! How cute is that baby! What a great job!! Thanks Caz. emoticon

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RAINBOWANGEL99 12/7/2010 11:41AM

    emoticon Awwwwww those baby pandas are just soooo cute!!!

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MBSKIT 12/7/2010 9:39AM

    That was cute. I want that job!
Okay I just want to hold the baby Panda!

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AVRENIM1 12/7/2010 9:17AM

    How I wish I had the opportunity to hold one of those adorable lil pandas! Thank You for making me smile and touching my heart. emoticon emoticon

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SWAZY33 12/7/2010 9:04AM

    emoticon so sweet

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DEBBIE1414 12/7/2010 8:42AM

    Adorable!!!

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VALERIENEAL 12/7/2010 8:38AM

    emoticon yes, it was cute, but kinda funny.

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BEST_LIFE_NOW 12/7/2010 8:30AM

  So cute. Thanks!

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LUCKIEST24 12/7/2010 8:24AM

    Awwwwwwwww...... emoticon

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DEE107 12/7/2010 8:17AM

    how sweet and they are so cute

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SOPKAMANJU 12/7/2010 8:14AM

    Well I am no longer crabby or cranky Thank you emoticon emoticon

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PERKOLADY 12/7/2010 8:12AM

  :-D

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DEVORA4 12/7/2010 8:05AM

  They are experts in Pandas so I am sure it is logical to Pandas.

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-POOKIE- 12/7/2010 8:03AM

    Thats is so cute... and crazy!

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