Wednesday, December 04, 2013
As this year wraps up I see how I just gave up. I was so focused on eliminating my stress and its causes that I suffered last year that I just burned out.
I have accomplished a lot, even at the expense of adding more work to my life but I am very proud of all that I have accomplished this year. To break it down, I work as an Admin in a real estate office and since last November I had been working on getting my real estate license. I am proud to say that I finally accomplished this back in October. I still work as an Admin but I now can switch over to sales when I am ready to take that step. My dance group is still a part of me, however this past few months I have not been so dedicated due to being burnt out mentally, emotionally and physically. I am still a member of the board for a parade that is still in its baby stages and have been re-elected to participate another two years. On top of all of this I still have my home, my husband and my kids to contend with.
Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, I am just putting to screen a brief review of what I have been involved with this year and how it contributed to my putting my health last. I planning a new set of goals for the new year one of which will be to blog on this site at least 3 times a week. Another is to not worry about actually dieting but instead I will be focusing on eating healthier and cleaner. I have been researching how to organize my home, my life, my future career change and myself - goals and planning will make me feel more in tune with what is going on in and around me. I hope I can remain focused the way that I envision myself being.
Love, the future me!
Friday, January 04, 2013
I just read my last post from October 11, 2012 and I must say that its the first time that I look back on a blog or a journal page and really like what I wrote and not wrestle with myself to remove it... I love that post, it made me feel happy and I know that I have made some progress towards the type of person that I said I wanted to be back then.
I feel calmer, more alert, more confident. I haven't lost any weight and I have had really bad indoor allergies this past few weeks but its not bringing me down. New Years started on a pretty good note and I feel that that bodes well for the coming year. I am eager and almost anxious to see what challenges this year will bring.
Since I am back on SP and trying again to lose weight I hope for the best and that I can learn to govern myself, my eating habits my marriage and friendships with tact, love, joy and faith that anything is possible if we believe.
With love, the future me
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I have been working really hard on my self esteem and how I interact with people around me for the past 2 weeks. I look at this weight loss journey as a time to change all of me, just not my weight but my attitude in general.
For many years I was a pushover, always doing what others wanted, never saying "no" to a request. Then I went to the other end of the spectrum and lashed out at the world and couldn't give a fig what anyone wanted. I was wounded, crying out for help and yet snapping at those who claimed to love me for me. I have been trying to work on that for the past month now. I try not to let the littlest things set me off (yet I still have two or three people who are my main triggers), I try to find joy in everyday and every occasion. I feel that my stress level has gone down exponentially and that I am not as angry with the world lately.
I realize that to keep my self esteem high I have to analyze what is bothering me and make a conscious effort to let it go and not dwell on it. Exercise and healthy eating habits have helped tremendously, the high that I get off of just exercising, specially after zumba classes, just keeps me going. That, and a few times a week I just lay down in my room with soft ambient lighting while listening to spa-type music as I drift off to sleep helps me to relax (I don't know how to meditate so this is the closest I can get to that zen feeling.)
I gotta move on for me, for my kids, for my sanity. I will improve my life, my health, and I will strengthen my friendships and my marriage. I promise to work on these goals everyday of my life.
With love, the future me
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Milk, 3.25%, 10 fl oz 183
Devil Dog, 1 serving 170
Milk, 3.25%, 2 fl oz 37
Regular Coffee, 1 cup (8 fl oz) 2
Granulated Sugar, 2.5 tsp 41
Croissant, 1 croissant, medium 231
total breakfast calories 656
Fitness before lunch: Walking: 2.85 mph (21 minutes per mile) for 15min (commuter walking) 78 calories burned.
I really need to go food shopping and get healthier stuff in my house...thankfully that was the last devil dog (even though I save those as treats for myself since I have abandoned the love of my life-snickers bars) I was going to make myself an egg but we ran out of those yesterday and I forgot to pick some up.
Evening update...somehow I managed not to succumb to the Crumb cupcake temptation again since the leftover ones were still there waiting to lure some other unsuspecting knuckle-head into spreading their lips and savoring their velvety, decadent sweetness on their tongue...(excuse me as I clean up the pool of drool that has puddled around my chair as I reminisce)... I also managed not to go over my calorie allotment for the day - phew! thank goodness.
With love, the future me
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