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NETTYBREAD's Recent Blog Entries

Today I feel Sad...

Tuesday, January 01, 2013


Truth is... I feel like I keep fooling those around me but not myself and not God. I am trying to forgive myself and love me for me... it is sometimes easier said than done. I do have hope for a brighter new day and new year. Happy~New~Year

1 Day ... 1 Second at a Time. I believe God and my Support Groups can help me be just a better, happier, kinder person. One without E-D or any other addiction. If I must be addicted to something it must be PRAYER, Meditation, and SERVING OTHERS. NOT SELF, SELF, SELF...

Life is more than exercise and a beautiful body. It is about loving and learning and for Heaven Sake... LETTING Go and Living Each new day to the fullest.

I MUST FAST from meal to meal and Pray for strength and have the courage to ask others and / or GOD to help me.

I can NOT do this alone.

Again... HAPPY NEW YEAR... This blog isn't meant to be sad / depressing... I must admit to myself that I have been very, very sick and there is no more hiding.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERWOMAN 1/1/2013 9:22AM

    Wishing you peace and all the joy God has waiting for you. You can do it!

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PATSYB7 1/1/2013 7:42AM

    I'm sorry you're feeling sad. Your Sparkfriends are here for you. Hang in there and best wishes for a Happy New Year! emoticon

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Christians and Spark People

Monday, December 31, 2012

I love that there are so many religious people on Spark People. I feel like that is a huge part of my success... when I can find balance spiritually and physically.

I have a hard time sharing my religious beliefs in my every-day life... I feel like I've made such a 180 and a lot of my friends do NOT believe in or want to talk about God. I am thankful that I can talk about physical and spiritual things on Spark People

Truly... Happy~HappY~NEW YEAR!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EASTENDCLAM 1/1/2013 4:09PM

    Our choices are all about free will, spiritually and physically.

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WONDERWOMAN 12/31/2012 7:37PM

    This is a great community, isn't it?

Happy New Year to you too!

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Happy New Year

Monday, December 31, 2012

I've been blogging a little on my other blog. Lots of thoughts and ideas for 2013. I added in my signature a list of my PRIORITIES rather than just goals. I would like to focus more on what matters most and find the ever eluding ~Balance~ in my life emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRATEFUL_BEING 12/31/2012 10:48PM

  emoticon setting priorities help us become successful. You look great!

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WONDERWOMAN 12/31/2012 8:18PM

    Love the priorities.

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NETTYBREAD 12/31/2012 6:23PM

    Thank you for trying to read my blog :) It should work now. I fixed the settings.

Happy~HappY~ NEW YEAR!!!!

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BUTTERFLY-1976 12/31/2012 5:22PM

    Didn't work for me either. Happy New Year!!

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MBSHAZZER 12/31/2012 4:13PM

    Aww, my permission to read your blog was denied! LOL! But I do agree that we should have PRIORITIES - sometimes, it becomes impossible to reach goals, but if we are able to prioritize the important things in life, it is not all for naught!

happy new year!

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Boston ~ Qualifier

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I qualified for Boston today at the Ogden, Utah Marathon. My time was a 3:29:25. I needed to be under 3:40:00 SO... I am going to Boston!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYRUN1 6/23/2012 12:56PM

    AMAZING !!! Congrats (: what an awesome accomplishment !!!

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WONDERWOMAN 6/2/2012 12:01AM

    Wow! Congratulations! emoticon

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PEGGIE0203 5/24/2012 3:06PM

    WooHoo! Way to go! I am not, and have never been, a runner, so this seems totally amazing, (impossible really) to me!

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CONFIDENTLY_FIT 5/23/2012 1:02AM

    WOHOO!!! Congrats!

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BUTTERFLY-1976 5/22/2012 12:41PM

    Congrats. That's awesome. I'm so excited for you!! emoticon

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ERPARA 5/21/2012 11:47AM

    Congratulations!!!!! You look so happy :)

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MBSHAZZER 5/21/2012 10:21AM

    Amazing! You blew that BQ away! Not even cutting it close! Congratulations!!!!

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BURRITAELITA 5/21/2012 7:26AM


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    That is so awesome! What an accomplishment! Over three hours...holy crap! I am just happy to be able to run for 40 minutes!

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FITWITHIN 5/19/2012 10:02PM

    emoticonon qualifying for the Boston Marathon. emoticon

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TAMTAM64 5/19/2012 9:01PM

    So excited for you!!!

Celebrate then rest & recover!


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HEIDI-25 5/19/2012 8:08PM

    Awesome!!! Congratulations on this fabulous accomplishment :)

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I want to live...

Saturday, May 05, 2012

So... I am a *crazy* person and everyone who knows me knows that. Well... Some people may not know that because of my crazy, weird life and personality for as long as I can remember I have felt a little depressed and at times severely depressed. I've never thought of it really as THAT serious, but... I had some crazy coping skills that helped me deny it.

I have always been completely unafraid of DEATH. I "accidentally" took too many pills when I was 16 and ended up in the hospital. I remember being afraid of guns, because I might use one on myself. I remember thinking whatever... "if I die, then I die".

I remember an ex-boyfriend threatening to kill me several times and thinking, "Go for it" I'll be in a better place and this tormenting life will be over.

Even as recently as 2-3 years ago, a therapist triggered some crazy feelings inside of me, and I remember feeling completely suicidal. So....

When just a few days ago I caught myself saying, "I want to LIVE" it was MONUMENTAL... I don't remember EVER saying this to myself or anyone else.

I want to take better care of myself and live healthier. I want to be a better wife and mother to my kids. I want to be more present in the life I am living. I want to stop and smell the roses. I want to experience more joy, and I feel more prepared to deal with sorrow. I want to "Be" and "Be" apart of others lives.

I... Want to Live.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ON2VICTORY 5/16/2012 1:42PM

    Oh is a hug for you...

It was only until I started on this journey that life really began to take on a beautiful hue. I know those dark feelings all too well. Welcome to life and all the great things that are in store for those who will dare to live it to its fullest.

Btw... I totally admire your Ironman accomplishment. I am looking at a 70.3 in '14 if I reach a trainable weight to take on that distance.. This year is gonna determine it.

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IMSMILEY88 5/15/2012 5:47PM

    That is wonderful!!! Keep that desire!! God wants you to live, too.

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ERPARA 5/7/2012 12:27PM

    Amazing how one little sentence can be so powerful - awesome!

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LARKSONGRUTH 5/7/2012 2:58AM

    I'm glad you're finding the joy in life. I have fought with depression too. I'm glad you're not feeling like flirting with death anymore.

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JORULES 5/6/2012 11:13PM

    wow thanks for sharing...I too deal with depression and your attitude motivates me! thank you and keep up the good are worth it! emoticon

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CINDBABE 5/5/2012 11:52PM

    Wonderful blog! I love that you feel this way! Isn't nice once you realize that life is great and worth living.

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MBSHAZZER 5/5/2012 5:36PM


Interesting perspective. I think there is a difference between not caring about living / life and not being afraid of death. It can be healthy to NOT fear death while still caring about your own life - ie, not taking stupid risks, but at the same time, not living in fear of what "might" happen and so, not doing anything.... does that make sense?

Anyway, it sounds like you had a wonderful breakthrough! :D

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WONDERWOMAN 5/5/2012 3:51PM

    What a huge milestone. emoticon emoticon

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GWBACH 5/5/2012 3:39PM

    and you are, and pretty good one based on your racing and training. I am like you, I am not afaid to die, but being alive right now feels so much better, and I have a full race season ahead, so hopefully we both live long enought to meet up at a iron man race next year.

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