Tuesday, June 21, 2011
I realize more and more each and everyday that I like "routines" and that I use my auto~pilot often.
Unfortunately, my auto pilot says, "Food, Food, Candy, Diet Coke, Bread, Food, Food, Food."
It's very hard and seems sometimes impossible some days to RE~program my auto pilot.
That doesn't mean I haven't stopped trying. There is ALWAYS hope right? How could we live if we didn't have hope. Hope is a strong word. A word I appreciate more and more each day.
Interestingly enough, I am thinking of Faith, Hope, and Charity not in a religious way but in a way towards my eating habits and my auto~pilot.
I have to have faith in myself that I can overcome my terrible auto~pilot habits. I must RE~PROGRAM my entire system.
My auto~pilot is so hard wired that even when I think I've changed it... BOOM! I revert back to food, candy, food, diet coke.
Each time I fail I must learn from the little mistakes I've made and make a plan to overcome it.
I can NOT believe how hard it has been for me to re~program my EATING habits. It just seems that it shouldn't be THIS difficult.
Finally, I must have charity. Reach out to others. Let them help me. Be honest and open. Even willing to be vulnerable and embarrassed. I DO feel embarrassed by my eating behaviors and habits.
I do have Faith and Hope that once and for all I can Re~Program my auto pilot to make HEALTHY choices :)
Monday, June 20, 2011
So... today I went to a funeral with my husband. It was for an incredible woman and a very touching funeral. I sometimes leave funerals thinking... I am a terrible mother LoL!!!
I watched part of the 2nd episode of finding Sarah Ferguson. Interesting. The question I pondered today was from Suze (I think) About do you include people in your life that really care about YOU and your family? Don't worry or include the ones that are disrespectful or really don't care about you.
So, lately I've just been thinking about a lot of DEEP life questions.
A few weeks ago, the David Mitchell (Elizabeth Smart) trial ended. I live in Salt Lake and it's on the news frequently. I remember seeing Elizabeth on T.V. after the trial and truly how resilient she seemed and looked. I was so happy for her that she was able to go on a mission for the LDS church also. I truly think those are incredible accomplishments. My daughter and I have talked about Elizabeth and what she's overcome a few times. My daughter attends the same school as Elizabeth's brother, and she says people say some really terrible things at times.
So, back to today... My husband and I attended a funeral for one of his current teacher's mother. The Smart's son was in this teachers class and knows the family. So, they were at the funeral today.
We get in line to pay our respects to this teacher and her mother and the Smart's are in line right behind us. My husband knows Ed and Lois through their youngest son. HE is DARLING! Such a cute kid. So, Ed began talking to my husband and Lois was talking to me. I didn't realize that both of their sons are my kids exact ages and will be attending the same schools. I talk to William Smart the youngest. What a sweet, nice kid.
They were very kind and I was happy to meet them. Somehow in the conversation Lois said her daughters would be coming in a little later.
Well, My husband and I go in and sit down and the Smart's end up sitting right in front of us. Elizabeth and her sister came in a little later and sat right directly in front of me. It was interesting to see people staring at what seemed like me, but they were staring at Elizabeth. They are beautiful women.
I can NOT imagine what the Smart family has been through, but I am so blown away by how they seem to carry themselves and what a great family they seem to be. I was shocked that they really had a conversation with me too. They have to endure many criticisms and harsh comments also. I just can't imagine.
So... anyway today was an interesting day. It took my mind off of ME for awhile. LOL!!!
Friday, June 17, 2011
The show... Finding Sarah...
How do you see yourself?
Does it matter what others think of you?
What is the meaning of life?
Do you love yourself?
Can you honestly say, I have a crush on me?
What's holding you back?
Do you believe what others think / say about you?
Why do you have financial problems?
Seriously??? These are some hard core questions.
I found it interesting that Oprah said to Sarah, "I was where you are now at age 23?" I felt so badly for Sarah that age 50+ she is where Oprah was more than 25 years earlier. What a waste of 25 years? Yes or NO???
Sometimes I feel so ahead of the game and have self confidence. But... I am fascinated by how quickly and easily I can LOSE that. Ugggg... WTF???
I realize I need a much STRONGER support group and I MUST reach out to them. Regardless of what others "THINK" of us all the time. We NEED others to help us live a happy healthy life.
So many questions to ponder....
I think I'll go golfing. LoL!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I just want to elaborate on my food / timer idea.
I am a CONSTANT snacker. I think I am hungry, but for the most part I am BORED or Food just sounds good (because it IS good) but... I am NOT hungry.
So... Bring into play the TIMER.
The past few days, I have been planning my meals and this has worked for ME :) Just an idea:
Wake up 6:00-630 = Coffee
Run / Bike 7:00-8:00 = 8-16 oz. water
Breakfast 8:30 = Oatmeal / Banana / V-8
10:00-11:00 Pool to Relax and swim 2000-3000 Meters
12:30 - 1:00 Lunch = Turkey Sandwich or Smart Ones TV dinner / Green Beans / Apple or Yogurt
*** THIS IS WHERE I START USING THE TIMER***
I am NOT hungry after lunch, but I frequently start SNACKING So... I set the timer when needed to remind me I really don't NEED to eat until 3:00-3:30. If I want / need something I can Drink Water or a V-8. For me.... if I start eating "real" food, it's a recipe for binging or continuous snacking all afternoon.
So at 3:00-3:30 I eat a snack (small meal)... My husband made this delicious Salsa mix with corn, Pinto Beans, and Diced Tomatoes with green peppers. I eat this with carrots or a small salad with a little bit of Zesty Italian dressing. I also have a fruit like banana / apple / applesauce and a yogurt.
5:30 - 7:00 I've been going WALKING YAYAYAYYAY!!! It's been the perfect time. I drink about 8 oz water with possibly another V-8 about 5:00.
7:30 DINNER... Chicken Kabob with pineapple, green peppers, onions. Side of Brown Rice or a side salad. Fruit watermelon. Dessert = Rootbeer Popscicle :)
8:30-9:00 If I need a bedtime snack... Popcorn or Yogurt or Another Popsicle or 2 :)
Timer Recap = I MOSTLY just need the timer between 1:00-3:00 and 3:30-5:15 These are the hardest times for me. It has helped SOOOOOO much to get out and walk at about 5:30 and so fun to do it with a fun group of girls.
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