Thursday, July 04, 2013
Okay as usual if you have sensitive nature or delicate stomach you might want to skip this blog!!!!!!
I am the master at lying to myself. I have gained back all the weight I lost but I was still telling myself that I was still healthier than I use to be. That I still retained some fitness and endurance. Well let me tell you the truth hit me with quite a bit of force today. Do you know when you can't lie to yourself anymore? Well when you are standing on the top of a large hill(around here we call them Bluffs-850 feet up) and you puke. Yup that is right puked my guts out right on top of the bluff in front of my son and husband. At least they were the only ones there since there were several dozen people hiking around.
Yes there were contributing factors. We ate right before we started hiking up. It was warm with no breeze. But this path wasn't even all that vertical but by the time we got to the end we had to climb stairs to get to the look out. I barely made it to the top when whoosh there went lunch. I did this bluff climb last year and made it with out puking. I wish I could say it was just the circumstances that caused it but it is now time to stop lying. I am out of shape, condition, endurance what ever you want to call it. Riding an exercise bike twice a week for 15 minutes or so is not doing anything for me. There is a pile of barf that proves that point.
To get back down the bluff we went down the "easy" path. But we had to go straight up for 100 feet to get to that path. As soon as I started walking up the hill my stomach really started lurching again. For awhile I wasn't sure how I was going to get down the bluff. Luckily once the path started going down then I was okay.
So reality has struck and I am not the slightly less than lean but still a mean fighting machine anymore. I am a delusional overweight and unhealthy specimen who needs to stop with the lies and the rationalizations. Time to fight my way back on to the path of healthy living. I want to be able to climb and jump around rocks with my 19 year old son. I don't want to end up on my butt sliding down a hill because I didn't have the muscle strength in my legs to hold myself up. (The hubby has that on video, thanks honey!!!) But more importantly I don't want to live like this anymore. Toxic food in, sugar blues, irritability and just generally feeling like junk.
I will face the truth, I will make changes. I did it once and with this website I will do it again. I will not have puked in vain!!!!!!!