NELLBELLA26   27,249
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NELLBELLA26's Recent Blog Entries

I'm not running a marathon anytime soon, but I'm still working toward a goal.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I see so many blogs here on Sparkpeople that are all about training for something physical, but I rarely see someone get down and dirty about the emotional turmoil, the spiritual journey and how to be present in your mind and body during this process. It is my true belief that until you dissect and analyze what led you to gain the weight in the first place, you won't have lasting success. Without awareness of behaviors and making changes to all aspects of your being, you're only creating more distractions and lies that you'll eventually tire of.

Sure we want our physical selves to get stronger, healthier, more capable. But what about our emotional selves that led us down this road of dishonesty, unworthiness, abuse? If you are reading this thinking I'm crazy for using the word abuse you are probably someone who isn't self aware. We all discredit ourselves everyday whether we doubt our capabilities, our opinions or just do something we don't really want to do. Those of us who are addicted to food abuse our bodies by treating it like a garbage can. Eat, Eat, Eat..... until your body is lumpy, bumpy, and dull. ABUSE!

I've been reading Iyanla Vanzant's book Peace from Broken Pieces and have gained a lot of insight and perspective that I've never really taken the time to learn or see before. It was all about getting from one day to the next and being the best I could be (in other's eyes, not my own). We learn our behaviors from others' and adopt those same behaviors regardless of how damaging they are to our own self worth and image.

So I urge each of you to really take a look at what behaviors you do and how you can lift yourself instead of draining yourself. I realize that eating right and exercise are the fundamentals to weight loss, but there is much more to it than that for contentment.
If anyone knows any SparkTeams that work on lifeclasses or emotional and spiritual wellbeing as well as the physical, let me know.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORIANA 9/26/2012 6:28PM

    Certainly there is an emotional component to weight loss and to most of what we do. Most likely we got into habits because they felt good when we learned them, or it's the only model we had.

Then, how did we get overweight? Maybe the habits that worked when we were five, no longer work. Maybe if we learn to associate positive emotions to the new habits we want to change, we can unlearn the old behaviors.

If there isn't a group that address these issues, you can always create one. I'll join, in support of your efforts.

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LIZZIECA55 9/24/2012 3:15PM

    Well written. I hope there's a Spark team that can help you to learn to feed your innerself.

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AUBERRY2 9/21/2012 2:05PM

    I know for me, my mind is as big a part of the weight loss journey as exercise and eating right. If I can't wrap my mind around it then I have a hard time following through with anything. Good post

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    I don't see the spiritual or emotional blogs too much either. No matter what obstacles we are trying to overcome, it starts within. I self doubt a lot and I am working hard to overcome that. Being self critical just hinders are success. I try to lift myself up by reading positive quotes or by replacing the negative self talk with something more positive. It's not always easy but I feel like the more I practice, the better I will get.

That's great that you got a lot of insight from the book. :)

There is a spark team called "Inner Journey." I think it may just be what you are looking for.

Another team you may want to join in "The peppy party." It's not quite what you are looking for but if you want to be cheered on and cheer other people on, it's a great team.

Awesome blog!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Added you as a spark friend because you have the right idea about where success stems from! Hope you don't mind. :)

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Is Beauty valued above all else? Do Men value anything else?

Sunday, September 09, 2012

So this has been an exceptionally hard week for me. I found out that my husband has been communicating with other women online and telling them how attractive they are. At first I was a little annoyed because it was just comments on twitter feeds on their pictures. I thought, " Okay, men just like to look at pretty things." I was hurt and told him so, but he told me I didn't have anything to worry about and that he just thought the picture was cute.

I wasn't completely convinced, but I let it go as best as I could. All the while thinking negative things about myself and how he doesn't find me attractive. I beat myself up all week saying that I was overweight and ugly and no wonder he finds other women attractive. The worst part was the women were all thin and had dark hair. The opposite of me. So then I starting thinking, " Should I dye my hair?" Yes, I'm not proud to admit that.

Then I got to thinking and got really angry. Are we just supposed to be a pretty face ALL THE TIME? Are we not supposed to be whole human beings with feelings, thoughts, interests, preferences? Are we not allowed to gain weight? Does that deem us unattractive and therefore, not worthy? You bet your ass it doesn't!
I have gone through so many emotions this week and now I'm just like, " Hey jerk, I've stood by you through some pretty trying times and now because I don't feel good about myself and I'm not always available to you... you're going to give attention to other people?"

So I've been going walking late at night and blasting songs about taking your power back and not allowing people to diminish you to just your appearance. It's a lesson that is hard learned. That even with ALL that you are, that you just might not measure up in another person's eyes. And... that's okay because at the end of the day the only person you have to measure up to is yourself! YOU have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
I may not be with him forever, or I might. But I know that at the end of the day if he wants to tell another woman she is hot.... he better first be telling me that I"M EVERYTHING to him or I'm going to find someone who does think so.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

0309COOKIE 9/9/2012 10:50AM

    Oh, what a hurtful realization you made. I am sorry. But it sounds like you are dealing with it well. Good for you.

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LIZZIECA55 9/9/2012 10:33AM

    Marriage is a hard task; taking care of YOU (whatever that is) should be at the top of your list.

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GINNJEN1974 9/9/2012 9:24AM

    Sounds like you know what you need to do. He is asking for trouble by doing as he is. He married you for better or worse, in sickness and health. He needs to get a clue and soon before he realize he lost one of the best if not the best thing he has had in his life.

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HIKINGSD 9/9/2012 3:25AM


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PINK-PEONY 9/9/2012 1:04AM

    I'm sorry you are hurting. Problems are easier to face when you know what you are up against, and from your blog, it seems you have already realized you will be okay.

Treat yourself well.


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Why Spark Friends Make the Best Friends

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I am truly blessed to have found Sparkpeople. I originally joined in a misguided attempt to lose weight to fit into my dress for my wedding. I say misguided because I joined for truly superficial reasons and Sparkpeople along with some other great resources and people have twisted my view about weightloss and health in general. The most I figured I would get from the site was a tracker for my food and some recipes that I might want to try out.

I had no idea about the community part of Sparkpeople and how it would change my entire perspective on how to approach getting a hold of my weight issues. I'm not going to lie, I struggle every single day with making the right choices. But again, here is Sparkpeople reminding me that small changes lead to bigger changes that lead to a healthy lifestyle. Each day I can huddle with my SparkTeams that are full of people who have the same issues I have and read the message boards and not feel alone in the journey. Each day I can look forward to reading my Friend Feed and seeing accomplishments of other Sparkies and feel inspired.

I read a blog today from a Spark Friend that hit on a lot of the same issues I've been dealing with throughout the summer. It was good to see that my thoughts and perspectives are not entirely off the mark and that someone else shares in them with me. It just really helps you feel connected and not as isolated. As many of us who have dealt with weight issues, you'll know that isolation is something that we sometimes damage ourselves and what is left of our self esteem by doing.

Spark Friends Make the Best Friends and I'm forever grateful for such a great site and more importantly, a great online community. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIZZIECA55 9/9/2012 10:36AM

    WhooHoo! SparkPeople Rock!

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LEFTHANDLUKE 8/21/2012 8:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Yoga-Themed Nail Polish

Friday, August 17, 2012

I am huge fan of painting my nails. I just feel like it's a simple way to add a pop of color and express yourself. It also makes me feel feminine and girly. My favorite brand is Essie, so imagine my surprise when I opened my Self Magazine and saw their new collection!
It's called Yogaga and the names are fitness themed.

With my birthday coming up, I think I need these!

What is something you do for yourself that brings a smile to your face?

and just because he's cute----- YOGA BEAR!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZAHNASGRANDMA 8/19/2012 3:27AM

    The color of my nails is DeutschYou WantMeBaby?

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LIZZIECA55 8/18/2012 3:20PM

    I, too, like to try out different nail polish. I actually have a couple of bottles of Essie. Got them from Walgrens. Avon also has nice colors.

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ZAHNASGRANDMA 8/18/2012 4:26AM

    emoticon I'm getting my nails done in the morning after yoga

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JANTWO 8/18/2012 12:40AM

    How cute!!!!

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SOCDIRECTOR 8/17/2012 11:28PM

    Love the Yogi Bear cartoon!

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Being Authentic

Monday, August 13, 2012

It's amazing the little lies we tell each other and ourselves. I'm not talking about shocking, devastating lies that could hurt someone. I'm talking about those little lies that pile up when we refuse to just be honest to save face, not make ourselves uncomfortable, or just because we're so used to saying them.

It can be something as simple as saying you are fine or that your day is great when someone asks how you are doing when in fact you are not fine. I'm the type of person who hasn't quite got the concept of complete honesty. I always admire the people who can just tell something like it is without having to apologize for it. The type of person who will tell you they are having a horrible day instead of just saying, " I'm okay."

It's time to get real. We all have two sides to ourselves- our public persona and the person we go home to. We are at peace when we are around the people that allow us to melt the two into one. Unfortunately, these people are VERY hard to find. This is why we're often not as authentic as we'd like to be.

What steps do you take to have a good support system around you that allow you to be the most authentic version of you?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIZZIECA55 8/14/2012 2:47PM

    I find that my closest and best friends are the ones that come with an instant connection. You know it when it happens. This is authentic. I have a hard time when I have to "work at" a friendship (and I usually don't).

On the other side ... when I ask a co-worker or acquaintance how they are doing, I usually don't care ... just making conversation. Sometimes, I even tell them that an "OK" would have been fine. emoticon I think as you get older, you become more honest OR it just comes out that way. LOL!

Although I only have a few of them, I sincerely care about my "true" friends. We can be really honest with each other. That's all that matters.

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BONOLICIOUS2 8/14/2012 8:01AM

    This is a constant struggle for me, not going to lie. I can't stand fakeness and I exhaust myself quickly from trying to keep my "true" self under control. I think as we get older, we decide to surround ourselves more with people that respect and care for the real you versus people who you have to change to be around. In the past year, I have cut some ties with friends who always felt like a drag because I was spending so much effort faking it. I feel like I'm in a much better place now and that the friendships I have retained are a much better quality for it. Quality over quantity does work!

Also, at work - I kind of don't have a choice. I have to hold some of my true self back (random dance parties in my cube at a financial firm? Probably not the best idea) but I have worked on not compromising some of myself where I can. Belittling coworker? Stand up for myself. Lying gossiper coworker? Distance myself. Opportunity to make people happier or feel better about themselves? Be kind and supportive - which is who I really am.

Once I started taking these steps to be more "authentic" - I became a lot happier in both my work and professional life. I really hope you take the time to explore where you can do it in your own life because it is such a great thing! Good luck!

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