NELLBELLA26   27,249
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You're not GOOD ENOUGH!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

So besides the loop I've been playing in my own head of " You're not good enough, strong enough, mentally prepared enough..." I've had some tough times with others commenting on my weight and my looks lately.

Today I commented to my husband that my blood sugar must be out of whack again because I've been feeling generally fatigued and dizzy all the time. His comment: " Maybe you should go to the gym and you'll feel better." I burst into tears with his lack of sensitivity of me not feeling well and how he likened it to being such a simple solution of going to exercise. He later explained himself, but to just come out with a comment like that HURTS.

Then there is a coworker at work who seems to make little jabs at me on a daily basis. He has said things along the lines of " Wow, you look nice today for a change, now you know how low my expectations of you are..." and " You should take up yoga since your body is in horrible shape."
I know I shouldn't take this guy seriously because he obviously lacks social skills and he himself doesn't dress very well and has a huge gut and goes to Jack in the Box for lunch on a daily basis.... but it still HURTS!

Just feels like the whole universe is telling me, no matter how hard you try or how much better you think you are doing, you will FAIL. You can't do it. You don't have the GUTS. Right now I just feel defeated and that the universe is right. For awhile, I was motivated and the weight was coming off. Then my husband lost his job, we had to move back in with his father, I had to put my whole life into a storage unit, I started a new job, We eloped instead of moving forward with the wedding I had been planning for over a year..... and I just got STRESSED.
So now the stress and the naysayers are winning and I really need to just tell them to GET OFF MY BACK.
Anyone else struggle with not feeling good enough? Worth enough? Determined and motivated enough?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEGGERSW 5/17/2011 10:26AM

    First, emoticon emoticon

Second, YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN!!!

OK. Now to the basics. People can be horrible, horrible, horrible. It has been my experience that when people say nasty things to me, it is usually because they need to feel better about themselves. I'm pretty sure we've all been there and said a nasty thing or two about someone else. It is a shame that such a person can be so bitterly mean as the man you mentioned.

I usually sit down, have a good cry and if there is a punching bag near by (or a pillow or something) punch the crap out of it. It does help release some of that anger!

Onto the husband comments, I am so there with you. I'm struggling with similar issues, and how he doesn't quite understand and certainly doesn't watch what he says. GRRRRRR. Unfortunately, I've got very little advise for you there!

What I can say is find a zone for yourself. Whatever you do that can release the tension and aggression alone. For some it is meditation, some it is going to the gym, some it is going for a run, for some its a walk, and for others it is just laying down with your eyes closed. That alone time, of just treating yourself to your own attention, is fundamental to helping release the stress!

Good Luck!!!!

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LIZZIECA55 5/16/2011 12:39PM

    You are sooo good. Whatever you do, don't stop. It's up to you to get past this point and move on with YOUR life. Don't let the naysayers get you down. Hang in there, you are sooo worth it!

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FRENCHTOSD 5/16/2011 9:59AM

    Yes, I definitely have these feelings of worthlessness. What I've been doing lately is just ignoring those feelings and continuing to do the right thing even when I don't feel good. That has led to an amazing change in my body, and I am very hopeful that my emotions and feelings will catch up. Good luck!

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KIYOSHI04 5/15/2011 11:12PM

    you are not "good enough."
you are freaking fantastic. amazing. BETTER than good enough!

im sorry your feelings seem to be getting hurt.

i am going through a very rough time right now too. have to relocate due to the boyfriend's job [away from both of our families] and just was told my dog has months left to live.
so i am struggling too.
BUT!!
we arent going to wait for motivation. if we wait for motivation, we'll be waiting a long time. this has to be a no-choice thing. track the food, no matter how bad the input is and work out.

we CAN and WILL do this.
i know you will. i believe in you.



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KIMBYUT 5/15/2011 9:22PM

    It's difficult not to internalize what other people say or do to us. Please understand that the reasons they do/say/act this way is NOT because you are not good enough. they do it due to their own personal limitations, there is something they are unhappy with in themselves and their way of dealing with it is lashing out/mistreating others. I know it hurts to hear those things even though they are completely FALSE! You are more than good enough - you are amazing, strong, loving, beautiful woman, don't let anyone take your spirit away from you!! If you were to look at yourself (not just physically, I mean "you" as in your whole person) what would you see? What characteristics, physical, mental, spiritual, personality, etc would you point out that you love about this person (you)? Start believing in yourself and let your confidence, vibrant, loving self shine through!!

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WADINGMOOSE 5/15/2011 9:10PM

    You are good enough. In just this post alone, you've told your readers a lot about who you are - you're loving and giving and you're more than willing to compromise for the good of your family. You do have guts - you've made tough decisions and followed through even though you probably wanted to do something else at the time.

You are good enough. You are strong. You are mentally prepared. Tell that little voice to shut it. I suppose you can't do that with the coworker, but hey, have some fun and imagine doing it. And you know what? When you do succeed, you'll have the last laugh while he's still eating Jack in the Box.

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Inspirational Song Lyrics

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Courtesy of MetroLyrics.

KEEP ON SINGING MY SONG- Christina Aguilera

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
And nobody's gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothings been going my way lately
But I decided right here and now that my outlooks gonna change

That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
And everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feeling like they won't let me live life
And take the time to look at what is mine
I see every lesson so clearly
I thank God for what I got from above

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
I'm gon keep on singing my song

I never wanna dwell on my pain again
There's no use in reliving how I hurt back then
Remembering too well, the hell I felt when I was running out of faith
Every step I'm about to take is towards a better day

Cos I'm about to
Say farewell to every single lie
& All the fears I've held too long inside
Everytime I felt I couldn't cry
All the negativity I had inside
For too long I've been struggling. I couldn't go on
But now I've found I'm feeling strong and moving on

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
I'm gonna keep on singing my song

Whoa, & everytime I tried to be what they wanted from me
It never came naturally
So I ended up in misery, wasn't able to see
All the good around me
Wasted so much energy on what they thought of me
Then simply just remembering to breathe

Oooh, I'v learnt

I'm humanly unable to please
Everyone at the same time, so now I've found
My peace of mind living one day at a time

Source: http://www.metrolyrics.com/keep-on-singing
-my-song-lyrics-christina-aguilera.html

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIZZIECA55 4/11/2011 12:40PM

    Great words!

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MARY1313 4/11/2011 10:16AM

    Love it!

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Our Newlywed Shoot

Monday, March 14, 2011



All credit goes to Sheila Arkee of Arkeeology Photography.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGDOC22 4/10/2011 9:46AM

    very nice pictures.....and so sunny!!!

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TRYN2MUCH 3/25/2011 1:42AM

    You pictures are sweet. Best wishes to you both.

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CURVYDIVA86 3/20/2011 1:19PM

    Adorable!

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LIZZIECA55 3/14/2011 11:19PM

    Nice!

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MILLISMA 3/14/2011 9:48PM

    Beautiful!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 3/14/2011 9:36PM

    Awww you look so pretty and so happy! I love it. Congrats!

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Wedding Pictures- Sneak Peek!

Sunday, February 20, 2011



Will upload more tomorow....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICKEYMAX 3/14/2011 8:51AM

    beautiful!

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LADYJAKE1 2/20/2011 12:53AM

    My daughter is getting married this year...I can't wait

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Head Games! Altering the Inside along with the Outside.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

When you begin your weight loss journey, you tell yourself that you need to make the physical changes, but how many of us forgot that it not only changes your outside but the inside as well. I feel like a completely different person than I did before. I am not only much lighter in weight, but in spirit as well. I used to let everything overwhelm me where now I try to have a positive outlook and take on the world one day at a time.

I used to be the person who was the complainer. All I ever did was state the negative about a situation or a person. Not realizing that all my complaining was not only making everyone around me miserable, but it was making me miserable. Why? Because I was miserable. I had gained over 130 lbs after moving to California in 2006 at the age of just 20 years old. During that time, I lost my grandmother to heart disease, my stepfather to complications from a stroke, my father was diagnosed with throat cancer and given a death sentence ( happy to report he has been in remission for 2 years!), and I went through my own health challenges and work challenges.

I was so stressed out that the only way I knew how to cope was to FEED the NEED. I had absolutely NO coping skills. Today, I know that by not taking care of myself, I'm only exacerbating the problem. By having zero self esteem, I was telling myself I was going to fail before I even attempted to try. By packing on the pounds, I was trying to hide from the world.

I'm happy to report that I'm able to cope much better these days. I'm able to put myself first in my life. I am able to say NO to people when I need to.

Losing the weight is only a product of all the other internal changes that I've made and I still have so much more growth to achieve.
Take it one day at a time. Look at each day as a blessing. Turn it around if you make a bad choice. Have a positive attitude and you'll be surprised how the things that seemed unsurmountable are easily achievable.
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Now go tackle this weekend! I know I will!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEACHERCHICK82 1/30/2011 12:54PM

    This is so true. It's funny as a teacher I used to have a chocolate stash at work for those bad days. I no longer have one, but know where to go to get it. Haha. However, I avoid going to those rooms on stressful days. That chocolate makes it better for that 2 seconds, but doesn't solve the problem and just adds more fat to my body.

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