Small steps forward

Monday, October 05, 2009

October didn't start too well. I had to reinstall Vista four times last week which means I haven't worked much and my stress levels are high. I had deadlines to meet that have obviously been stretched and I'm trying to manage the damage but that needs some more time. My cold does not help and neither does the gloomy weather outside. I've discovered I'm a sunshine addict but that's no news. Also the scale says I've gained some weight but I will believe that only if it still shows the same tomorrow and the day after. Otherwise it's probably just water weight.

Anyways, it's not all bad. I'm finally feeling inspired to start tracking food again. For now it's not going to be everything I eat. I'll just try to balance out my new favorite meals but it is a start and it will get me back to full tracking soon.

That's about it for the beginning of the new month. Hope to have more and better news soon.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANITX 10/6/2009 10:03AM

Yeah October started off slow for me too, it doesn't matter how it starts off though it is how we finish it. Good luck and I hope things are better on your side.

Back and that's what matters

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

So I'm back. I have been away for quite some time. My SparkFeed said my status had not been updated for 47 days but even before that I was struggling to stay on the wagon and frankly most of the time I was just running after it. So for about two months I've been eating whatever whenever, not drinking my water, skipping a lot of salsa and consequently gained a bit of weight and lost a bit of fitness.

Judging by past experience right now I should be beating myself up and whining about how bad I feel in my clothes. But it's not happening. Well, there was a bit of it at some point but when I logged on yesterday and I read my previous blog entry about 'Phenomenal Woman' I realized how far I've actually come without even feeling it. When I was writing that on July 17th I did not feel like the poems words could be mine despite the amazing 40lb I had dropped from my highest weight. Since than the scale has gone more than 10lb back, I had to widen my belt by a hole, I've started struggling for air after I climb a storey fast and I feel great. I feel I am a 'phenomenal woman'.

I know it sounds absurd but it's a fact of life. No matter how enthusiastic and motivated I may be about turning my diet and fitness plans into a lifestyle it's not and easy task. After all I've been developing my bad habits for more more than 20 years. I cannot expect to wipe them out in a few months. It takes time and it takes effort. A lot of effort. So much effort that two months ago I was at the verge of a burn out.

And then I burned out. I gave everything up for a while and as a result I'm returning with recharged batteries, renewed motivation and the comforting realization that while this is going to be a struggle, probably even all the way and for life, it's still not all that hard. My body cannot tolerate random eating anymore - I get sugar hangovers, heartburn and sometimes even gastric pain. I need to eat regularly and I need to eat the right stuff. And I need my salsa classes to boost up my mood so I will always have this little (or not so little) bit of fitness sneaking into my program.

All in all, whatever I may do and however much I may laps I'm still going to come back to doing the right stuff. As long as I do that I will be in game and that's all that matters.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIANET2 9/23/2009 5:37AM

Welcome back!!!I know how you feel, as I have been struggling for awhile. I know what to do, but sometimes it's just easier not to take the time to do it.I have to push myself to exercise some days.My belief is that this IS a life long journey,and we will all have ups and downs along the way. I will however,stay connected here to this site for support, and for the tools I need to be successful. It may take a long time to reach my goal,but I will NOT give up!!! Best of luck to you!!!

Phenomenal Woman

Friday, July 17, 2009

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

I just discovered part of this poem on one of the DailySpark.com entries and had to look it up.

This is who I want to be. And it's sad that despite the fact that I visit this wonderful 'phenomenal' place quite often I still have not made it my home and I even seem to visit it less often lately.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYLYNNE77 8/28/2009 4:49AM

Hi. I'm a new member of the Done Girls team, and I was stopping by your page to wish you a happy birthday when I noticed the title of this blog on the right. I recognized it instantly! It's been a long time since I've read this poem, and I needed it this morning. I just want to thank you for posting it and reminding me of who I am. I hope your birthday finds you in a phenomenal place and that you find yourself there more often because YOU are phenomenal!!!~Mary

Total Reload

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Between the crazy working tempo at the beginning, the 10+ days of vacation in the middle and the financial hardship at the end of the month June sent my trim down attempt into complete overhaul. Please, note that this is just a statement because as zombified as my previous blog may sound it still holds true. I may be a couple of kilos up from my weight before leaving for vacation and also somewhat late on my original timetable of weight loss but non of that worries me. June was June but now it's July and although I'm back to stage 1 trying to build momentum with a fastbreak I'm still in the game and with additional motivation.

Unfortunately the fine summer months - this year July, August and September - are also the ones of lowest income for me (Welcome to Freelanceland!). This means that I will need to keep an eye on my expenses and a controlled diet will keep my grocery list in check. So I might say I'm economically in need of a diet besides the fact that I'm actually missing healthy eating and exercise.

So July is now Month 1 of Leg 2 of this Slim Race of mine. I'm going to try and stay on the site as much as work permits me so I hope to keep you posted on developments. I have the four days till Monday to plan out my route for Week 1 so I better get to work.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELKATA 7/17/2009 4:29PM

Picture was taken in the Gökova Bay in Turkey. It's a national park on the Aegean coast. We went on a day trip from Marmaris where we were staying to Cleopatra Island that's in the middle of the bay. extremely beautiful place.

BARBARASCH 7/14/2009 8:33AM

that is a beautiful picture!! Where is that? Btw, I have to go back to Bulgaria soon.. I totally fell in love with Varna ;-)

Counting blessings and leaving on vacation

Friday, June 12, 2009

I haven’t blogged in a long time but this is a good time to have a look back at the road I’ve covered since February 4th when I restarted my journey on Spark.

I’m leaving on vacation in less than two hours. It’s a vacation that will not be particularly active and I’ll skip three salsa classes (that’s a lot and I’ll miss it). I’m also going to Turkey so the food will be good and I won’t restrain myself too much just to stay in my calorie range. I even expect to come back weighing more than what I weigh now. Sounds like a lost battle, right? But it feels like a victory. For the first time in my diet history I break my diet fully conscious of the fact that this will not be the end of it. Whatever the consequences of these ten days are, after I come back I will deal with them and overcome them. This is not the end of the journey. And some journey it has been!

It’s unbelievable how far small steps took me. I weigh 25 lb less than in the beginning and that in just 4 months. But the biggest change is in how calmly I take slipups and how good I’ve become at getting back on the wagon. Some of my small changes are already a habit – having the right breakfast at the right time, having 3-6 meals a day, not letting myself become ravenous, not letting hunger subside (after which I usually binge), choosing nutritional combos that keep me satiated, rewarding myself, I may not exercise a lot but I rarely skip workouts, and even if I’m not tracking my food I’m still not going all pig and even not going pig at all sometimes.

I still have more work to do. I need to add strength training and one more cardio session, I need to track a bit more, I need to improve my eating out management. But whatever I may need to learn I’ve got a sound base to build on and to pull me back when I fall down.

I don’t feel like a winner. I am a winner.