NEIGHBOR_NANCY   3,282
SparkPoints
2,500-3,999 SparkPoints
 
 
NEIGHBOR_NANCY's Recent Blog Entries

That'll Do, Pig. That'll do (aka: This/I am good enough).

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"That'll do, Pig. That'll do." This is not meant to be a pejorative statement of my size; merely a reference to Babe's doing a good job. This/I am good enough.

Positive thinking. Motivational readings. Upbeat music. Researching. Always researching for something more, something better. Sometimes this search for more is actually a distraction from the real issues for me.

The great - I've lost 68 pounds and kept it off over the last two years. For the last several months I've been on a plateau. I have 12 more pounds to go and am having to dig deeper to increase my exercise level to get stronger, healthier, firmer.

Losing the weight itself has ceased to be as urgent an issue now that I'm in the healthy BMI range and am a size 8/10 instead of 18/20. I had several serious health issues and have resolved what can be resolved (4 surgeries in 2 yrs, lowered cholesterol and pre-diabetic risks). The weight loss and exercise activities have improved my health as dramatically as my looks!

So why the sense of dissatisfaction/angst? It is a deeper search. A quest for meaning, for self-acceptance, for purpose and community. As a sociologist I tend to research everything. Always searching for more data in which to help with my "paradigm shift" in life (read Thomas Kuhn's Theory of Scientific Revolutions if you want the background from a sociological perspective, but it it isn't necessary to follow the general gist here).

Ogres are like onions (a la Shrek). Onions have layers. Ogres have layers (not like layer cake!). I have layers too. Multi-level theory construction of Nancy. But I digress...

It may be I don't NEED a paradigm shift, another innovation, a new recipe, a new gadget, another idea, another exercise video/iMix. It may be that this is enough, that I am enough NOW to know who the true Nancy is. Simplify. Pare down.

Today is the day I am good enough. I am healthy enough, strong enough, smart enough, confident enough, informed enough, nice enough, "green/organic" enough...all to stop looking to others for answers and start acting as the conductor in the orchestra known as my life.

Today I shall sing and listen to my own voice in this orchestral choir.

My voice is telling me there is too much "noise" in this orchestral piece and that I need to KISS - keep it simple sister (not stupid!). I'm in the throes of redistributing. Weight, responsibilities, clutter, etc. I've recycled the magazines (read and those not read as well. I've had enough stacks of magazines!!). I need less clutter. I need simple. I need an internal quiet so that I can HEAR my own voice instead of the ADHD-like input from so many different, often contradictory sources.

So, "That'll do, Pig. That'll do." This/I am good enough to listen to my own voice and discover my own way.

  


Will get back to the gym...

Friday, September 10, 2010

So, a week later and I will confess that although the immediate health crises for my beloved lab has passed, I've been preoccupied with prepping for job interviews. I've kept up with tracking food for the most part, and I've not strayed seriously from my diet. I have not been to the gym. Part laziness, partly because I injured my knee and thought I'd broken my toe last Friday (getting out of the shower to rescue dog; I'd thought he'd fallen again, but he'd just knocked something over. He was having seizures).

Foot is better, knee is a little better but still sore. Using my recumbent bike at home is safe; going to the gym may not be. I tend to push myself to do ALL the equipment because I enjoy it once I'm there. It is the show off in me - that bit of competitor I did not realize I had until I got to the gym regularly. Even if I'm just competing against my last workout!

I am proud that I've not seriously strayed from my food plan. Even when I went out to dinner with a friend I ate 1/3 of the meal and pkged the rest to take home. It was all I really wanted anyway. I was full! It is remarkable what 2 yrs of reduced portions can do to one's appetite. I literally cannot eat as much as I used to! To think that 2 yrs ago I was seriously thinking about gastric bypass/lap band surgery.

Still have those last 12 lbs to go... I will forgive myself for not getting to the gym. I have reasons. HOWEVER, I am promising that today, after my job interview skills test, that I will use my exercise bike as a reward. I feel so proud of myself when I work out! Rather than see it as a chore, I'm looking forward to how great it makes me feel afterward. More energy, more self-respect...

I will also make another healthy meal for dinner tonight!

  


Back to what works for me

Saturday, September 04, 2010

During a very stressful week of caring for my critically ill lab, Busy and arranging for day care/boarding for my foster Belgian Malinois puppy Tara, I switched from my typical fresh non-processed foods to whatever I could eat on the run. I didn't get to work out at the gym, although I was doing some serious lifting of my 75 lb lab as he could not walk. I averaged 2 hrs of sleep a night when he came home from the ICU at the vet hospital... I didn't lose any weight, but I didn't gain any either.

I've sadly arranged for the puppy to go to another foster home so that I can focus on giving my "baby" the best quality of life we can with whatever time he has left. Looks like he's out of the woods for now, but is still unsteady on his feet (was having seizures/canine vestibular disease). While I miss her, I am grateful for having had my first good night's sleep in about a month.

My breakfast - my beloved healthy breakfast - is now back. My homemade organic 2% yogurt is turned into yogurt cheese over 2-3 days of straining. I have a tablespoon of this yogurt cheese and fresh blueberries. I don't get hungry all morning with this combination and I just feel better when I have it. Breakfast cereal (I was having Special K w/Red Berries, which isn't too bad), just has too much sugar and doesn't fill me up for very long.

Only 12 lbs to go...Trying to focus on my successes (losing 68 lbs) rather than this temporary plateau. Have a job interview on Wed and need to study my stats for that, but will be back on track with my exercise at the gym after that. Working out at home for now until Busy our lab is safe to stay alone.

  


Back to what works for me

Saturday, September 04, 2010

During a very stressful week of caring for my critically ill lab, Busy and arranging for day care/boarding for my foster Belgian Malinois puppy Tara, I switched from my typical fresh non-processed foods to whatever I could eat on the run. I didn't get to work out at the gym, although I was doing some serious lifting of my 75 lb lab as he could not walk. I averaged 2 hrs of sleep a night when he came home from the ICU at the vet hospital... I didn't lose any weight, but I didn't gain any either.

I've sadly arranged for the puppy to go to another foster home so that I can focus on giving my "baby" the best quality of life we can with whatever time he has left. Looks like he's out of the woods for now, but is still unsteady on his feet (was having seizures/canine vestibular disease). While I miss her, I am grateful for having had my first good night's sleep in about a month.

My breakfast - my beloved healthy breakfast - is now back. My homemade organic 2% yogurt is turned into yogurt cheese over 2-3 days of straining. I have a tablespoon of this yogurt cheese and fresh blueberries. I don't get hungry all morning with this combination and I just feel better when I have it. Breakfast cereal (I was having Special K w/Red Berries, which isn't too bad), just has too much sugar and doesn't fill me up for very long.

Only 12 lbs to go...Trying to focus on my successes (losing 68 lbs) rather than this temporary plateau.

  


1