Friday, January 28, 2011
t struck me suddenly last night after my support group meeting that there are two reasons I haven't been to the gym lately. These self imposed emotional/physical barriers are getting in the way of me trying to get back to the level of fitness I enjoyed last year. I don't know how to break through these barriers right now but I imagine that taking the first step is, as always, the most important step in the right direction.
My barriers of getting to the gym:
* The knowledge that most of the people there will be in better physical shape than I am. That makes me feel embarrassed instead of encouraged to work out to be more fit.
* I'm afraid of the pain. It struck me last night that the reason I haven't gone without my husband lately is that I am afraid that when I get there I will be in too much pain to get myself home.
Now maybe the pain thing came to the surface last night because I was in a lot of pain after my support group meeting. My side pain kicked into overdrive while I was there and I started wondering what I would be able to do at the next meeting which is an activity for the first half of the evening.
Of course my first reaction was just that we should cancel the membership/not renew when it comes up because I can't use it anyhow but DH doesn't want to do that even though he hasn't gone either. He has the same initial fear that I do so I know that we need to take that step again together but my fear of pain is holding me back from suggesting that we go this weekend. Well, right now it isn't a fear of pain it is the reality of pain.
I guess it is good to know what is holding me back.