Friday, April 30, 2010
Two blogs ago, I wrote a blog about the story we tell other people about our life.
Do we cast ourselves in the story as the victim?- The reason why I act this way is because I am the victim of my problems.
do we cast ourselves as the survivor? - I have these problems, but I am surviving them. I can hold my head above water and survive
Do we cast ourselves as the conquering hero? -I can conquer and come out on top of what ever challenges life throws at me.
This is my story of the Conquering Hero- enjoy
I am a conquering hero. I wear blue tights a red cape over my shoulders and have a red S on my chest. I can conquer any of the challenges that life throw my way.
Each morning my greatest villan (too much to do with too little time to do it in) comes rushing out to do battle with me.
Before stepping out to fight the ugly villan, I take the time to sharpen the tools I will need to fight this villan. I say a prayer for help in conquering this ugly villan. I then open my scriptures and read looking for the answer of how to proceed in today's battle plan . I then get dressed in my super hero clothes, eat healthy and nutritious foods and take time to go for a walk to let the super powers recharge.
I am now ready to do battle! I quickly perform the daily minimum in my home, (the making beds, do dishes, run a load of laundry, pick up and if needed vacuum- the least amount of housework needed to make my home look clean) This lets the super hero, and all who come into her home know that, I am in charge, I can conquer whatever life throw at me!
I then quickly assess what is the most important thing I can do today? Do I write a story to sent to the newspaper, take care of my parents, tend a grandchild, go to work, or prepare for my church calling? Once that decision has been made I step forward with purpose and direction. Everything else can fall by the wayside because I am tackling the most important battle for that day! I am a conquering hero!
Other enemies emerge to try to defeat me, enemies like guilt, pressure from others, laziness, being side tracked, but as a conquering hero I silence each enemy by telling them I am doing the most important thing that needs to be done that day.
There are times during the day the conquering hero needs to step back and reevaluate the battle. She reminds herself that the most important battle of her day is the people she deals with, nothing is more important than people! She ponders, re-assesses her strategies and regroups and then goes back into the fray, with new purpose and energy to do battle.
At the end of the day, she puts her right foot upon her to do list and throws her chest out and her hands over her hands and exclaims, "I did it. I conquered the most important things on my to do list! I am a conquering hero!"
She sits down tired and exhausted, but happy and content, knowing she had accomplishd a Herculean feat, and knowing what she did accomplish was the most important item on her to do list!
Quietly she crawls into bed knowing that all is well with the world, because Nancy, the conquering hero is here!
Monday, April 26, 2010
If you have followed my blogs lately (few and far between) you will see a theme, of feeling stressed, overworked and over scheduled.
Background for those who have not been following my blogs:
I have two part-time jobs, but I have had them for ever. When I took those jobs it felt right. I needed to help out financially because we have just refinanced the house and I had two sons on LDS missions. I could handle it and it was working. I still have those jobs, but now I am feeling pulled in all directions. After analyzing what has changed I realized a lot has changed. I now have grandchidren I want to spend time with, my parents' health is failing and my husband has had a lot of doctor visits lately. My jobs keep me from my family, but I still need the income from my jobs to pay the mortgage. (Only four or five years left! )
I was putting my health, my eating plan on hold "until things settled down." I felt like I was running here and there and didn't have time. What? Don't have time to eat healthy? It doesn't take anymore time to eat healthy than to not eat healthy? What was I thinking? Excercise? I can still fit in ten walks here and there through out the day? Excuses, excuses.
I purchased the book, "Change your questions, change your life," by Wendy Watson Nelson (She is the wife of Elder Russel M. Nelson)
I have learned by asking myself those questions, that at least for now, this hectic schedule of mine is my new "normal." I cannot wait until life settles down to eat healthy and excercise. I know the skills I need now I need to just use them.
Here are some questions to think about:
Whatever difficult situation you are in - "all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good."( D&C 121:7)
What benefits have come to me through thise difficult experience?
How can this situation benefit me?
What growth and new understanding will come out of this difficult situation?
What is already happening that is good that I may have overlooked?
How is this situation already turned for the good for those I love?
What can I do so that this situation WILL turn to my good and for the good of those I love?
WHAT BENEFITS HAVE COME TO ME THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT EXPERIENCE?
The most obvious is the financial that I am receiving from my employment, but there is the added benefit of learning to budget to pay more than the minimum payment on my mortgage.
The things I am learning from my jobs, newspaper correspondent- I am learning about journalism, about government etc. The Therapeautic Recreation Technician, I am learning about compassion and the Elderly.
I am also learning about priorities, scheduling, and how important it is to have Saturday's to prepare of the Sabbath.
I am learning the power of saying no, my family is learning they have to help, they have to call and schedule with me as well.
I am learning when you schedule is pulling you all directions, that prayer is the answer.
I also have a greater appreciation for those who work outside the home.
WHAT GROWTH AND NEW UNDERSTANDING WILL COME OUT OF THIS DIFFICULT SITUATION?
This question I feel I answered with the last question.
WHAT IS ALREADY HAPPENING THAT IS GOOD THAT I MAY HAVE OVERLOOKED?
I now have a deeper understanding of how much God really knows me and my life situation.
My patriarchal blessing was given to me over 40 years ago, by a man I never had met before. Truly this must have been on my list of Premortal things to do because it is mentioned in that blessing that was given to a 14 year-old girl.
I am learning to trust, trust, the Lord.
HOW HAS THIS SITUATION ALREADY TURNED FOR THE GOOD FOR THOSE I LOVE?
They are learning to help me and not take me for granted.
They are learning that some things they have to do.
My working as a TRT has helped me in taking care of and understanding my parents' failing health.
My working as a TRT has helped me prepare for the disabilities that are becoming more apparent in my grandson.
WHAT CAN I DO SO THAT THIS SITUATION WILL TURN TO THE GOOD OF THOSE I LOVE?
As I become more aware, I need to express what I am learning to them. I need to keep a journal.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I recently purchased the book, "Change your questions, change your life," by Wendy Watson Nelson.
It is a great book to get you thinking.
One of the points it had made, is the stories we tell about ourselves and our problems.
When you tell other people the stories about your life and your problems, (your weight etc.) how do you cast yourself inside the story?
Do you cast yourself as the victim?
Or do you cast yourself as a survivor?
Or do you cast yourself as the conquering hero?
This is a great exercise to think about. So many times I want to cast myself as the conquering hero, but when I really think about it I am either the victim, or a survivor.
The victim is someone who lets their circumstances get the best of them. If it wasn't for this circumstance, then I could do this, etc. The past few weeks, I have to admit that I have been doing more emotional eating than I should. I need to stop that right now.
The survivor is the is someone in the same set of circumstances, but has learned to survive, to cope. This is the way I believe that I cast myself most of the time in my stories.
This is my lot in life, I have learned to make the best of it. I have learned to cope. I am getting by.
I am working on casting myself as the conquering hero. I can do this. I can get my act together. Whatever obstacle gets in my path, I can overcome, I can conquer, I can emerge as the hero.
What about you? How do you cast yourself?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It has been 22 days since I last posted a blog. Way to long.
The good news, is I am still slowly releasing weight from my body.
Do you remember when you were newly married with young children swamped with the trials of raising children, never having enough to do and looking at those women in their mid-50s and thinking, wow that is the life, nothing to do, - do what you want all day long?
I want to tell you it is just an illusion.
I am beginning to realize that we never get to a place where we can sit down and do whatever we want. There are trials in all stages of life, they just change.
In my younger days of raising children, everyone could see how busy I am. Now they think I have gone to paradise where all of my time is my own. It is all an illusion.
While it is true that there is only My husband and I one very large dog and one cat in my house, it may appear that we sit home and live the good life. It is all an illusion.
In reality my worries have increased in leaps and bounds.
You never stop being a mother, it only changes, and with any change there is mistakes along the way. I pray and worry about my children every single night. Now with daughter and sons in law, plus four grandchildren and one on the way, I have more people to pray for than ever before.
I still work, which causes a great deal of stress upon me, I am not where I can quit yet. Working is not all that is cracked up to be. The glamour of it all is just an illusion.
I have grandchildren I want to visit.
I have grandchildren in need of my help
I have parents in failing health in need of my help.
My husband is showing some health problems He is being treated for a growth on his pituitary gland.
Somewhere in there I have to find time to take care of me.
While I feel better than I have ever felt, there are signs that my body is not as young as it used to be. Yesterday I went with my DIL to my grandson's doctor visits. I carried him around part of the time. I used to carry babies around on my hip almost all day long. Yesterday my shoulders just burned because of carrying him around.
To onlookers it appears as though I have nothing to do, it is all an illusion.
Monday, March 08, 2010
I lost 7 pounds in one week, but before your start congratulating me, let me tell you how I did it.
I got sick!
I babysat my granddaughter on Tuesday because she was too sick for daycare. I started with the upset digestive system from both ends on Thursday and today I am still suffering from the effects.
My granddaughter, although she had moments when she threw up, was still up and playing around the house. She is feeling better now. Her parents also got sick, but after one day of being really sick they are better. Me, I as still feeling the lingering effects.
Why has the stomach flu hit me so hard you might ask? My explanation is that for the last month I have been under a lot of stress.
One month ago today I took my mother to her chemo appointment and dad was so sick he could hardly get out of bed. That Friday, I took Dad to his chemo appointment and the doctor had him admitted into the hospital because he was so sick.
Dad's body got better, but it was clear that something had happened to his mind. Either the cancer went into his mind, being so dehydrated did something to his mind, or he is getting Alzheimers.
Today I again am taking my mom to her chemo, and Dad is so angry all the time. That is totally not like him.
On top of all of that we have had the transmission go out of our car, the hot water heater is leaking, and work has slowed down.
So here I am, celebrating the easiest loss of seven pounds I ever had. Should I smile or cry?
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