Tuesday, April 03, 2012
I've got to start with an edit. Note to self: Read your last blog before writing your next. To answer any questions I left before, No, I didn't buy lemons to make iced water with fresh lemons. I'm still drinking iced tea. I will keep working on it though. If I'd read the last entry first, I would have seen that I already mentioned the looking younger deal, but it's a good thing so I'm leaving it in. Something needs to be good just for now. This is only the beginning, I'll get better. Now to the real beginning of today's blog...
Well, I'm on a new adventure, but not one of my choosing, yet better than the alternative. Yes, I am now 60. Oh My! Every other birthday I was happy to see come, I had lived another year when all my docs predicted I wouldn't. Ha Ha I would think each year, I've made it despite your dire warnings and I'm here to celebrate.
This year was different. You/I can't pretend anymore; sixty isn't middle age, it's the O word and not the great O word. As a teen I looked older than my age, I was mature. In my twenties somewhere I started looking young and was carded into my 40's. Not that I'm a drinker, but there would be going away parties for folks who worked at my husband's offices and I would go stand at the bar and take a sip of whatever, but the best part was the asking for proof of my age at the door. I can be a shallow at times, but I think this is my main source of shallowness. I have others, mainly in the past, that I'll reveal in time. hehehe
So as this birthday approached, I was just dreading it. I didn't want a party, I didn't want to go anywhere fun where young people would look and gawk at the old bird. OK, so no one was really going to notice me and if they did, they would notice my weight before my age, but right now I'm dwelling on old age. How did this happen? I've always been the young one, the happy one, the sick one who always said I was fine regardless of how I really was. How did I get old? I guess the plain fact is that I didn't die and time happened. I wasn't looking forward to dying, as a matter of fact, have fought hard over many years to survive, so why the heck am I so unhappy that I succeeded in surviving? Because I am now O.L.D. and I never planned for that.
Today is the day after I turned the big 6-0 and nothing exciting or different happened today. I pretty much look the same. I feel pretty much the same. I'm just a little sad that I'm not middle aged, but then again, why can't I pretend that I am? I don't like the word, "Senior" yet recently I've gotten that dang discount without even asking! How dare they! Me? A senior? An old person? Rats!
Well, the good news is that I'm doing pretty well on my SparkPeople weight loss journey so I'm hoping that in my o.l.d. age I will get to a normal weight. I just read an article on Sparks and someone was comparing the attitudes of two people who were on weight loss plans. The part that struck me was that as the "good" loser was being talked about, the author said that even more amazing was that this person was in her mid fifties and losing a pound a week over a years time. It was as if a person, not yet even 60, could live well enough to lose weight. Maybe it's just my age adjustment day, but I thought that was strange. People in their mid fifties should get extra awards for losing weight? Is that age so off the chart? Geesh, I'm glad I didn't read it before I freaked about turning 60. In the author's eyes I was old years ago. Maybe she's in her early twenties and anyone over 30 can't be trusted.
Now that I'm 60 for 2 days, I'm getting used to it, mainly because nothing much changed. I just expected it to. My daughter and daughter-in-law had us over and gave me a lovely charm necklace with black wooden boxes that are really nice. Each has wording and will look really nice on my table as soon as I clean it off. (Another story, for another time). I ate pretty fattening foods over this weekend and last night, but I'm back on track today. It seems life will go on for me.
We'll see what I do now that I'm 60. That will really define 60 for me, certainly more than the vision of someone else thinks of what 60 is, so that's good. 60 is as 60 does. Let's see what this ole girl will do now that she's 60. I'll be back, the future isn't written.
Monday, March 19, 2012
I was writing on a message board the other night and I quickly wrote that I didn't want to find that my higher power is food. Food, how I have given it so much power! I have let it comfort me, I have let it entertain me while I am bored instead of doing something so I am not bored. I am not a child, I am no longer a young woman, I will be 60 years old in two weeks and don't want to celebrate it! LOL
Each birthday I have been very grateful for because I have been ill most of my life and each birthday was a gift. I never thought I'd live to be 60 and regardless of age and health, I've always had a youthful attitude. It didn't hurt that I've always looked much younger than I was. Those "you can't be that old" comments don't come often anymore. Age is creeping up and I'm looking it. BUT, finally old age wisdom has smacked me in the face.
I looked at a photo with my grandchildren and there was this fat faced old woman. I tried not to look at my body, but my face! Oh my! I finally have decided that I deserve to be as healthy as I can be. What I eat I can control. My illnesses I can't control, so when I realized that all of these years when I could control my food, I found it was controlling me. I invited it in my mouth to hover for awhile. I enjoyed and savored each taste. I let my higher power be food! Food didn't do anything to me, I did it. The food was just there in the store. It didn't jump in my wagon or fall into my mouth. For all of these years of feeling out of control, I didn't control the main thing I could.
Today was a hungry day and I felt hungry even when I thought I shouldn't, but I gave the hunger pangs time to find if I was really hungry or was I bored or sad or whatever. Was I really thirsty? That was doubtful as I always have a beverage next to me. I have to work 1
on drinking more plain water, but now I drink mostly iced tea made with half and half Crystal Lite Iced Tea and Lemonade. I don't want artificial sweeteners in my becoming healthy body, but it's so easy to make and tastes so good! I bought some lemons last week to make myself a container of iced water with lemon slices, but yesterday I tossed the whole bag. They had gone bad and not a one was touched. I will try again. I am a big girl now! I've got to put on my big girl panties and show this body and brain that I am in control! Now to convince that devil that sits on my shoulder asking for my yummy iced tea to get the heck off and let me drink good ole water.
I hope tomorrow I go to the grocery store and buy some lemons and maybe some limes and just make it up and drink it! I'll let you know if I managed to convert to water before I turn the big, old 60! Maybe *I'll go to the store and buy a pretty decanter that will make my water look pretty and yummy and refreshing. That sounds like a plan! I hope I just do it!
Good luck me! You, my self, my friend, my own, take care of yourself (myself) and give your/myself a better chance of losing weight and getting in shape! Let the "before age 60" years be the end to putting junk or unhealthy things in my bod. I can do it, I can, I can
I'll report back and tell you if I do! C'mon Higher Power, show me the way! I've kicked food out of your place, please help me! Please?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I only lost 2 pounds my first week and it was disappointing, but I have to remind myself that ake Prednisone for systemic Lupus and take other meds that either cause weight gain or hurt the losing. I can't change those things, but I watched a Dr. Oz today and he had some supplements suggestions and I ordered them from Amazon tonight. Heck, we all need all of the help we can get.
I love reading others' posts. It would be nice if others read mine. If you do, please write something to me; it would be such a gift!
I'll be back and will let you know if I've gotten any better at controlling carbs. While I'm staying within calorie limits, my carbs are either on the high end or over. I have to find more proteins that I like.
I could use inspiration if anyone wants to help! Many thanks.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Well, it wasn't a perfect day, but I did stay close to calorie allotment, but went over on carbs big time. Ugh! I have to find a way to get in more protein & it isn't easy for me.
When I was 27a I first got encephalitis and shortly after I had a stroke. I had to re-learn so much, including talking, reading, spelling; thinking was a chore. I knew it when one day I realized that I can was thinking. That was many years ago and I had monthly spinal taps to reduce the excessive fluid on my brain. The pressure caused unbearable headaches and one day I finally got a special type of shunt which brings extra fluid to my abdomen. I'll say more about health in the future. I'll end the medical part for now by letting you know that it took 3 years for them to find out I had Lupus. I'm now 59 & glad that I've lived this long but I don't like getting older.
I take many meds that don't help with weight loss but pills didn't make me this fat. Eating incorrectly is to blame... and lack of exercise. I'm a grandma & that is super awesome! My daughters each had babies within 3 months of each other. Parker Renee turned 2 this November and Jake will turn 2 this February.
My weight loss venture this time is purely selfish. I want to look good in photos with the lil ones and when they become aware of my size, I don't want to be a fat grandma and embarrass them or myself. I know that is shallow, but it's the truth. Health will be a side benefit as will just looking better.
I did go on my skier for a couple of minutes today. First I went 30 seconds, rested 30, did that again. I then went & put my legs up as my knees and hips really hurt. A lil bit later I went back and did 2 (or was it 3?) & then I was done. I will do each day the most I can & build myself up until whatever.
Today was harder than I thought but I made it. One day or one second at a time will lead me to my best. Good luck all! Enjoy each day as much as you can & don't worry about the future. Stick with today. For just one day, you and I can do it. When we awake after a nights sleep, it will be today.
Now I go to sleep. Looking forward to today!
Monday, January 02, 2012
I didn't get far the first time, but I plan on being smarter and kinder to myself this time and I will blog and have fun as I transition from making food my friend to making Sparkle friends! Going to sleep now. Happy New Year all! This is gonna be a good one! Love from, Nan
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