Saturday, November 16, 2013
Did you ever have one of those days, or in this case nights, where the thoughts would just start flowing in your head? Some of the thoughts come out of nowhere and I wonder where in the world and why in the world did that just pop into my head. If I wasn't so blessed, I could have a real pity party right now.
The past week has been a little difficult. I'm anticipating shoulder surgery on Monday. I'm in pain with that. I'm not sleeping well. I'm doing well as far as eating and tracking, but my exercise has fallen way off and I'm not happy about that. My whole arm throbs and aches terribly when I do any kind of exertional activity, but I try to stay as active as possible. However, I am blessed with good health, good friends, a great husband and family and for that I have no right feeling sorry for myself. I look forward to the surgery with the hope that I will recover quickly (I'm a fighter) and by this time next year, find that I'm fully mobile again and exercising in every capacity that I enjoy.
I am also going to be closing my massage therapy business. With the economy, such as it is, it has been difficult to sell the business to someone else, so my only other option is to close the business, affecting the lives of four other therapists. That saddens me, but I will not be able to effectively operate my business from a long distance and that is one of the biggest factors in my decision. It just adds to my sleeplessness. However, my "girls" are telling me I'm doing the right thing and that they will be ok. Two of them are ready to cut back in their business anyway and this will only help to push them to take steps they have been reluctant to take themselves. The other two are confident they will find other places to practice and I am most certain they will also. Their letters of recommendation are ready to go whenever they need them.
Lost a dear friend this past week. Visitation and funeral this weekend. This young man was a blessing to everyone who know him. He was a giver. He never took. He gave to others on a continuous basis. He served his family and his community. He was a firefighter and a man of faith, with a heart as big as Texas. He loved his wife and his kids and will be missed by many. He was only 38. We've been blessed to have known him for over 15 years, watching his family grow and watching him succeed in many goals he set for himself.
When do you stop worrying about your kids? I have a 41 yr old son that I worry about every day. I pray more than worry, but I still worry. Lots of turmoil in his life right now. And he doesn't live close by, so that adds to my frustration just a bit. He's always been very independent, so communication is sometimes weak, to say the least.
Only granddaughter is graduating this year. How does the time go by so quickly when some days seem like they are never going to end?
I guess that's it for just thinking or this is what you get for me just thinking, I can find a rainbow at the end of every sentence written here though. I am now and always will be a positive person. I am a woman of faith and I know that God will be with me wherever I go, whenever I need Him.
Praise God and have a wonderful Saturday!
Monday, November 04, 2013
Today was supposed to be a nice bright sunny day and DH and I had planned to get much done in the yard to prepare for winter. Sadly, it didn't turn out to be a sunny day, but there was no rain in sight, just lots of gloomy clouds looming overhead, so we dug in and got started anyway. DH ran the lawn sweep to pick up as many leaves as were possible in 30 mph winds, along with the corn debris from the corn picker that came through the neighbors field yesterday. Always a mess there, but we're used to it now after 15 years of living in the country. We love living out in the country, the quiet, the sights, sounds, smells. Walking the dog late one night last week, I heard an owl whoot-whoo-oooo and all I could do was smile. How wonderful that was. But, I digress. Back to the accomplishments for the day, since that's the purpose of this blog.
While DH was on the lawn tractor, I got started emptying planters, cutting back hosta, Autumn Joy sedum, hydrangeas and peonies. I pruned several trees and some smaller bushes. I transplanted some ground cover into our stand of pine trees, hoping for success next spring. We worked for over 3 hours outside today and got everything we had hoped for done.
We were exhausted when we finally came back into the house, but both of us fully pleased at what we had accomplished. My motivation was over the top today and I am just now winding down a little. On top of all of this, I also managed to get 4 loads of laundry washed and dried and put away, including bedding which we line dried in our 30 mph winds today. Needless to say, they dried quickly. Love the smell of fresh air dried sheets!
After all is said and done, we look around the house yard and say "Whew" And "WooHoo"!!
Sunday, October 27, 2013
This blog was inspired by PIXIE-LICIOUS and her blog The Old Me and Why I Love Her. Read it if you haven't already.
I have a friend who is 4 years younger than I, she's about 61. She had bariatric surgery to help her lose weight. She was really quite heavy at the time she had her surgery. But she did it! She started losing weight quickly which is pretty normal under the circumstances. She got down to a size 0-2. She was a tiny person in high school, so this is not so unusual.
The irony of all of this is that, right now she is a patient in a nursing home, with problems brought on by her surgery and the drastic amount of weight she lost. My point here is that, (and this is where I was inspired by PIXIE-LICIOUS) she hated her body at her top weight, but just yesterday, she complained that she is "fat" again. She hates her body at this new weight. She has gained a few pounds, but that is part of her doctors goal, to put a little of her weight back on to get her healthy again. She lost too much weight and is paying for it now with her health. She has yet to see herself as a thin person and she still hates her body. How sad is that! She is willing to sacrifice her health for a size 0-2? No way baby! It's not worth it. Put on a few pounds. Get your body healthy regardless the size and start loving yourself. NOW! Before it's too late. Before you are so sick that nothing can be done to help you.
I used to have a magnet on my refrigerator that said "Dear God, Please don't let me die while I'm on a diet." The more I thought about that, the more I thought, how ridiculous is that! So, I should diet, lose the weight, so that I can look great lying in my coffin? Doesn't make sense does it? Once I learned to love myself no matter what the weight or body size, the easier it was for me to readjust my thinking from "becoming skinny" to "becoming healthy". There is definitely a difference. I have found a better refrigerator magnet to have around.
Sometimes there are negative factors in our lives that feed our own body image hatred. Being told that you are fat by someone you know seems to me to be worse than when a stranger makes a similar comment. Being told that you are the "biggest" of your siblings also has negative connotations. I was told that several times by both friend (if you want to call them that) and relative. Which one hurt the worst? I have forgiven my mother because she never meant to say I was big, I was just bigger than my two sisters. But what it did to my psyche at the delicate age of 13, was something it took years to overcome. I hated my body for many years.
On one of my weight loss quests, I went from 154# to 114#. I was so proud and happy with myself. My husband was proud of what I had accomplished, as were many of my friends, but my mother, once again, not meaning any harm, told me that I looked sickly and emaciated. She could not adjust to me as a thin person. I could, but she couldn't. The problem with that, was that I let her negative comments penetrate into my head and I started eating again. I gained all the weight back and then some.
It took me years to learn that I truly do love myself enough to become a healthy person, not a thin person, a healthy person. The bonus being, that as I became healthier, the weight has come off and once again, I'm a thin person. AMAZING
I still have a little more weight to lose. I keep resetting my goals, because I find that smaller chunks of weight seem to come off better for me than if I set higher goals. The next set of goals will be my final challenge for weight loss. My intent is to stay healthy now for the rest of my life, no matter how long that may be.
The magnet is long since thrown away. I don't consider myself as a dieter, I consider myself as a healthy person, striving to stay healthy. And I love my 65 year old body, flabby butt and all.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Well, we've just returned from a dieter's nightmare of a vacation, but a wonderfully scenic 7 day New England-Canada cruise buffet! All the foods you could possibly imagine were available from 5AM til 11PM; all deliciously lined up and just waiting for the people to come through the lines and consume every morsel. The choices were amazing-ly...HEALTHY!!
Not all choices were healthy, mind you, but there were options, there were choices and there was an immense variety of fresh fruits, juices, vegetables, lean meat and vegetarian entrees and even sugar free desserts. The food service people catered to every possible need for over 1200 people. The portion sizes were perfect, although some people took 2-3 portions of some things. That used to be me. But, not today, not yesterday and not at all last week. And much like my mother always said, "I was sufficiently suffonsified, any more would have been a superfluity."
In addition to having the opportunity to make healthy food choices, there were plenty of chances to exercise while sightseeing. Here's my week by the numbers, my fitbit numbers, that is.
Walked 127,941 steps, which equates to 54.15 miles and included 314 flights of steps or hills that were relative the elevation changes of the day. I burned 14,051 calories. All of these numbers are huge NSV's. I was pleasantly surprised at my numbers for that week, but knew they would be good, as we visited many places that required some walking or hiking, especially Quebec. There are lots of hills in Quebec and lots of steps to climb. I could feel it in every muscle in my body some days, but the places visited and the people encountered, helped to lessen the pain, as did the hours of sleep I managed to get while on ship. I had blisters on my toes, but they seemed to heal up overnight, so the next day was no problem.
I even participated in a 5K walk (On Deck for the Cure) onboard ship on a day when we were at sea all day. My husband and I walked and walked, and since no one was actually counting laps, as it was not a competitive event, we surpassed the 5K goal and didn't even know it.
It's always good to come home, but we had a great time and created many wonderful memories with great friends who accompanied us on our journey.
And that is the best NSV of this whole trip. Friendships don't make you fat, but they do fill your heart!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
My last blog eluded to the days of car travel, when the boys would be sitting in the back seat of our Vista Cruiser station wagon, asking that age old question, "Are we there yet".
Well, here it is, exactly one month after the last blog entry and I'm not there yet! The weight is still coming off, not going up at all, at least not on my "weigh-in" day. I have days when my weight fluctuates a bit, but I no longer let it bother me, which in a way, is a NSV. And when I consider the fact that I only have 3# to go and that I've already lost 32#, it amazes me unbelievably, even though I know how hard I've worked to get here.
I feel great! I feel healthier than I have in years. NSV I haven't had a headache since January! NSV My cholesterol numbers are great! NSV People are noticing my weight loss. NSV I have tons of energy. NSV I can walk quicker and longer than many of my friends. NSV And I'm 65! NSV, NSV, NSV!
So, has the journey been worth the fight, the work, the pain? Yes, indeed it has. I'm so very proud of myself for staying true to myself during this past 7 months. I'm so very proud of so many other Spark members who have gone the distance and are maintaining their goal weight. I'm so very proud of many other members and Spark Friends who are still on their journeys and are working as hard or harder than I to reach their goals.
Keep sparking my friends! Keep sparking! And enjoy your journey no matter how long.
The journey may be a long one, but reaching that goal will be well worth the trip.
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