Tuesday, January 28, 2014
... But I'm still in the race.
2013 was a whirlwind of a year for me, mostly in a very positive way. I was so busy living life that I didn't check into SP as often as I should have. I wanted to go ahead and post a look back for both myself and maybe for others who've struggled with being at what seems like a standstill as far as the scales are concerned.
What I accomplished in 2013:
*I went back to work after being a stay-at-home mother for eight years. Four months after returning to work, our company shut down its Kentucky operations. So...
*I made lemonade out of the lemons life handed me. I started my own housecleaning business. It brings in enough money for me to be able to contribute to paying our bills and we're now able to do a bit more together as a family.
*I started a 5K training program and progressed to the fifth week of training before I got sidelined by a terrible chest cold that kept me down for literally a couple of months. I never stopped walking/jogging and am still pursuing my dream of actually BEING a runner.
*I (pretty much) maintained my weight despite being out of touch with SP and friends.
*I supported my husband in celebrating a full year of sobriety, and joined a recovery group with him. I was his cheerleader as he started a new career and as he learned how to really LIVE.
*I celebrated a year of being a NON-SMOKER!
*I started singing again. Not only did I do that, but I went back to the town where I spent most of my teenage years being teased and ridiculed for my weight and stood on a stage and sang my heart out -with confidence- as my band (The Joy Addicts) opened up the music portion of that town's biggest yearly festival. I now sing regularly in our church's praise band in front of about 250 people every time and I no longer stand there and WORRY about how many people are judging me for my size. Here's a link to a YouTube video of my big "coming out" at church: www.youtube.com/watch?v=alwqfKPQjiM and another link of me singing one of my favorite songs: www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4qN5z01T4Y This is a big deal to me because this is THE MAJOR part of why I feel like I've been given this desire to be healthy (to be able to use my gifts and abilities to serve God).
I can look back on 2013 and see it as a failure because I had so much trouble finding a way to work SP into my life as a working mom, or I can look at it as a victory. I choose to see it as a victory, and here is why:
When I look at that comparison of my 2005 self and my 2014 self, what I notice most is not the smaller figure, it's the difference in the feeling I had when those pictures were taken. In the first picture that smile is a mask. It's hiding pain and low self-esteem. It's hiding sleepless nights and thoughts of "how did I get here?" In the second picture that smile is very genuine. It has about 5% to do with the fact that I'm smaller, and about 95% to do with that fact that I'm pursuing childhood dreams, and no longer crying myself to sleep because of feelings of failure.
I still have a long way to go. My MS symptoms are much less prominent but still present at times so I still have to take it slow and I still have the occasional week or two of rest. But as I said in 2012 when I came to this wonderful site - THIS TIME IT'S FOR LIFE. And I'm not quitting the race!
As a matter of fact, on New Year's Day 2014 I took a step further into my childhood dream of becoming a runner, and I joined a local running group for a meet-up at the park. I was only able to do walk/run intervals, but these people welcomed me with open arms. It may be six months - or more - before I'm actually be able to keep up with them... but I'm okay with that and so are they.
Here's a pic of one of the most terrifying and gratifying days of my life 01.01.2014:
I plan to blog more regularly now that I've found a way to work SP back into my everyday life. I hope to stay in touch with you all as we run this race together!
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Today's my 35th birthday and what a gift I've given myself over the last six months!
Six months have gone by since I joined this site. This time losing the weight has been a true lifestyle change rather than a diet. While I would love to drop around 80 pounds in six months like I did back in 2007, the reality of maintaining my weight has to be handled one day at a time with changes I can live with FOREVER. Back then I was working out sometimes as much as 3-4 hours a day. I took time away from my family and my friends. I was happy with what was happening to my body, but very unhappy with what was happening outside the walls of the gym. My life revolved around elliptical machines and weight lifting and 1200 calories per day. That program wasn't something I could keep up with, so naturally when I hit the place of being unable to "live" at the gym, 65-70 pounds creeped right back on to my body! This time I'm going slow and steady, making changes that fit in with my family's needs rather than excluding them from my life due to the "need" to be at the gym.
Since joining SparkPeople I have dropped two pants sizes.
I've gone from a 24 to a 20.
I've gone from a 3x to a 1x.
I took these pics to serve as a reminder of how far I've come. I may be slow and steady, but I believe I can win this race!
35 years young, 31 pounds down, feeling great, and LOVING my SparkPeople friends. I can't wait to see where I am next year!
Thank you all for your constant motivation, support, and encouragement. YOU ROCK!
Friday, May 04, 2012
If you have 5 minutes to spare, or even if you don't... you NEED to watch this video on YouTube!
From the video's description: "Arthur Boorman was a disabled veteran of the Gulf War for 15 years, and was told by his doctors that he would never be able to walk on his own, ever again."
Arthur Boorman proved those doctors wrong.
Being given the diagnosis of Probable Multipe Sclerosis in early 2011 almost took me down. I spent a year feeling sorry for myself and taking a mental and spiritual beating. But I found hope in the Lord and I found the help I needed in SparkPeople... and I have faith that I can be healthy.
This is me after losing 15.5 pounds since I found this place, and I know that if people like Arthur can do this, I can do it too. This is me now, but it's not me forever. I can't wait until what's on the outside matches the hope and determination that's on the inside.
Arthur's story inspires me to keep going and to
Last week's weigh-in was discouraging to me for about a minute... I didn't lose any weight. But I didn't gain any either. I know that's expected sometimes, but in the past that's what has given me the "excuse" to give up. I always gave up because it's too hard. But now thanks to SparkPeople and people like Arthur, I realize this is a difficult journey, but I'm ready to stick it out.
God bless you all. Please share Arthur's video if you are able.
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