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MYOWNHERO's Recent Blog Entries

Nurture yourself as a good mother would

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Happy Mother's Day everyone :D

Thank you to all the amazing women in the world who nurture us every day. Thank you to teachers who provide stability and encouragement to their students. Thank you to caring co-workers who are often like family to us. Thank you to grandmothers, aunties and sisters who love us deeply and always. Thank you dear friends. Good friends are one of the greatest joys in life.

If the mother you were born to isn't all you could have desired, it is time to step up and be your own nurturing mother. Look in the mirror and say it: "I'm proud of you. You are wonderful. I love you."

Now give yourself some flowers, or better yet, give some flowers to an amazing woman in the world who may or may not be your mother.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSFOLK 5/28/2011 9:34PM

    Just now seeing this, but what a point well made. My mom has been dead for almost 20 years, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna call a special woman who's been a mom figure to me for quite some time!

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TEENY_BIKINI 5/10/2011 10:31PM

    emoticon

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 5/10/2011 1:14PM

    Very smart thoughts!

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LAURELSPARK 5/8/2011 11:32PM

    WooHoo!!!

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TREEBW 5/8/2011 12:26PM

    I needed this today! Thank you!
Happy Amazing Woman Day to you too:-)

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Triumph in the grocery store

Friday, April 22, 2011

OK, I was having a bad day yesterday. Seriously bad. Like impending lawsuit (in my mind) bad.I also had a ton of work to do and I was stressed. In my past that added up to a pint of Ben & Jerry's stat.

Yesterday I had to make a stop at the grocery store and, to calm down, I wandered around a bit (I find that relaxing....doesn't everyone?) I browsed in the magazine aisle a bit, a little in the makeup aisle. I picked out two greeting cards. Then I grabbed my stuff and headed home.

As I got in the car, it hit me. Not once did I even consider buying a candybar or ice cream. I didn't think about getting a pastry or cookies to help myself feel better. All I needed was a few moments of leafing through a beautiful gardening magazine and I felt better.

After a year and half, I think I have finally developed a much healthier mindset. I don't have to constantly remind myself not to soothe myself with food. It's sinking in to my very core at long last. Glory hallelujah.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 4/24/2011 8:19AM

    emoticon The best place to win our food battles is at the grocery store. Congratulations on your progress and personal growth! emoticon

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MCJULIEO 4/23/2011 5:36PM

    Well done!

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JMAYS831 4/23/2011 11:56AM

    emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 4/23/2011 10:01AM

    That's great! It's a long road to get to that point, but you did it! Kudos for the great success!
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THEAPPLESASS 4/22/2011 3:21PM

  congrats! and i love wandering around supermarkets!

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LAURELSPARK 4/22/2011 3:19PM

    WooHoo! Doesn't it feel great!

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DANCINGGARDENER 4/22/2011 2:41PM

    Bravo! I love it when it hits you that a shift has happened. So very, very rewarding. Not only the shift, but the self awareness to know-tice!


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Do I ever have any fun?

Monday, March 21, 2011

I just had one of those conversations with my DS about life. He is a bit dismayed to find that adult life is full of work. He is missing those relatively carefree undergrad days and wondering when the fun happens. So I got to thinking about when I have fun. I had fun on Saturday working in the yard and planting pansies and some herbs. That was fun, I told him. No, he asserted. That was work.

What about Sunday afternoon when I made a huge pot of beef stew and then portioned it out and put it in the freezer for lunches. That was fun. Again, he said...no, work. How about Friday night when I put on one of my favorite movies (Annie Hall) and graded student papers while I half watched with a lovely cup of tea? Work, he said.

Well crap, I guess I do work all the time. But those things felt like fun. Silly me. Maybe someday I'll tell him about the "fun" I used to have when the children were little. Hanging clothes on the clothesline in the sunshine....fun! Taking a bubble bath at midnight when the children were in bed...fun! Singing Raffi songs at the top of our lungs while driving to the grocery store...SO much fun!

So how about it SP folks? Do you ever have any fun as an adult?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 3/31/2011 6:58PM

    Sounds like we are twins separated at birth...I find fun in the same things.

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MIQUEY73 3/22/2011 9:06PM

    HA! Love your attitude! Yes, I agree, doing some gardening is fun. This past weekend I had the best time with 50 other women doing the thing that brought us together: stamping (making cards, etc.) Indulging time in my hobby is great fun.

Then there are the times where my daughter is telling me a funny story. That's fun! I could go on and on. :)

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LAFEMMEDELALUNE 3/22/2011 4:41PM

    You are awesome....keep that positive attitude! emoticon

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ELIZABETH_SKY 3/22/2011 1:26PM

    It's definitely about attitude. For the sake of comparison, consider when I was a pre-teen. I remember very clearly one day realizing that nobody went to other people's houses to "play" anymore. All of a sudden it was about "hanging out." And that pretty much confused me...."playing" was a working strategy! Why did we have to change to this new "hanging out," which actually means 'do nothing together'?

Now I realize it's a preparation for adulthood, when you have a little, but only a little time to play. You have to learn to enjoy your work and chores, or you'll always be cranky. I don't love spending almost two hours in the car driving my boyfriend to and from school everyday....but if I'm adult about it, I can use the time to talk and joke with him or listen to the radio.

I also agree with the satisfaction vs. fun thing. I hate cleaning, but it's *really* satisfying when everything's shiny and smells good. So I do it. And this is where a lot of men don't get it, I think. They think we like to do chores, or don't mind them. But the real scoop is that we just do them so that they're done!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 3/22/2011 10:58AM

    Dude. Every time I strap on my life vest and helmet and cinch myself into my boat I'm headed for some fun.

It's never to late for a happy childhood. LOL

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ARCHIMEDESII 3/22/2011 10:56AM

    Do I have fun as an adult ? Most definitely !!! Being an adult doesn't mean you have to be serious all the time. Gotta keep cultivating that inner child !

I have fun whenever I teach a fitness class at the gym. Yes, I know that sounds strange, but a person can have a good workout and have fun at the same time. I love teaching class. I have fun whenever I go to a movie or show. During the winter, I had fun just feeling the snow crunch under my feet as I walked in it.

And I'm really going to have fun this weekend... I'm going to NYC !!!! WOO HOOO !!!


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CINDY1TWO3 3/22/2011 10:16AM

    I have fun - I love to read and some of the books are totally just for fun. I love to crochet while I watch tv - fun! But we did do thing he might think of as fun, went to a movie and out to eat, went on a hike to nowhere in particular.... I see his point - there is a difference between satisfying (where I would classify the yard work and cooking) and "fun". emoticon

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ALEXANDRA64 3/22/2011 8:03AM

    I totally have fun and it sounds like all those things you do are fun too. I think the older we get, the more our perspective changes on what fun is. We learn to find fun in many things. Fun isn't just frolicking out in the sun on the beach... If we can't find fun in the things we "do" then what is the point of it all? I have fun crocheting blankets for Project Linus. I have fun participating on "work weekend" beautifying my friends property. i had fun last year helping to build a stage on his property. In fact, anything I do with power tools can be considered fun in my book, lol. I had loads of fun volunteering for the Botanical Gardens where I basically transplanted for hours on end. Oh but the dirt was amazing so...

Other "fun" activities: hot bath before bed, camping (which can be a lot of work), training at the gym, TRX classes (again at the gym), having an intense philosophical conversation, Spark time... I can go on.

Yeah, I think your DS just needs to go out and get some experience in life and change his perspective. If he continually views everything as work, not good. He has to find his own kind of fun. Everything can be construed as work, or it can be seen as fun...

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MINTDAWN 3/21/2011 11:50PM

    I kinda think those things u described r fun but also productive. they r killing two birds with one stone. fun for me used to be getting trashed and going to the beach at night. now fun is watching a Bollywood movie while i paint or as u say making a good crock pot soup or something and freezing it.

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MAMADWARF 3/21/2011 10:59PM

    I have fun every day! I walk my doggy, laugh with my girls, go on vacation, sing in the car, ride my little Razor, fit in my clothes, have dinner with friends, make plans with other friends, visit on facebook and spark... I think all I DO is have fun! lol....

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SOULOFADANCER 3/21/2011 9:47PM

    I have fun all the time.
Listening to music on subway, playing jewel on my phone waitng for the train.
Watching funny shows like britcoms, calling friends, laughing about silly coworkers.
Playing wordgames
I love my life as crazy as it sometimes is.
It is wonderful being us!

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LAURELSPARK 3/21/2011 9:28PM

    I have a lot of fun! Today I worked out in the yard in the emoticon!!!!!

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RUNNER12COM 3/21/2011 8:50PM

    I most definitely have fun as an adult. Funny, I was already kicking around a blog idea about my perfect day Saturday, and you have now pushed me over the fence to do it!

Thank you.

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KAZ814 3/21/2011 8:48PM

    I have fun! I made a big pot of black bean soup yesterday - totally fun. And I went on a couple dog walks and I crocheted a baby hat.

Hmmm, are those work? I bet your DS would think so, but I think they're fun!

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What do you LOVE about being single?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


This blog is for my freshly single friend. I say embrace your freedom and spend all that time you used to spend on him on YOUR SWEET SELF!



Being single is great because you get to figure out exactly who you really are. So I put it to the SP community. Feel free to join in even if you are currently non-single.

What do you love about being single?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFKITTY 3/24/2011 11:58AM

    I'll be single soon. I guess I'm officially in the "It's complicated" category. I never thought that would happen. But I've announced I want a divorce 5 months ago, and we're still living together and I'm still supporting him, so...

I really appreciate this list. I've had people tell me "You'll miss him so much." and similar things that knock the confidence out of under I worked so hard to muster up.

Most of these suggestions seem to focus on freedom and independence. Those are definite pluses. Thanks again!
Jocelyn

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ELIZABETH_SKY 3/22/2011 1:32PM

    What I miss -

the excitement of thinking that love could be just around the corner (and let's be honest, the earliest parts of romance are the funnest)

not having disappointed expectations. I mean, I always believe that as a couple, my boyfriend will help out around the house. He always believes that, as a couple, he doesn't have to worry about cleaning anymore! He doesn't even *think* about it. I do all the cleaning now, I did all the cleaning before...but before, I didn't feel like I should be getting help.

it's hard to eat well when you're a couple! When you're single, you can just make changes. When you're with a man especially, there are always complaints about eating fish again, assertions that it's not a meal without red meat, two or three extra meals plus dessert - and you can't even complain because *somehow* he doesn't gain weight.

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XIMERAGREY 3/16/2011 1:28PM

    I'm happily married, BUT I loved being single:

* Accountable to no one but myself
* My money is MINE, and I decide what to do with it
* My schedule is MINE
* More room in the bed
* No one to tempt me to break my diet or skip my workout
* Time for friends and family
* Freedom to move to where I want, when I want

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SAMHAINHEATHER 3/15/2011 9:20PM

    I love having full and complete control over my environment...I do what I want, when I want to do it. The TV is never on, unless I'm watching it, and if I want to use all the hot water in a mega-bathing session, that's ok, too.

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TEENY_BIKINI 3/15/2011 9:03PM

    I started typing my list and then my fingers got tired....

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CLEVELAND21 2/28/2011 1:42AM

    My favourite part about being single is that I got to start over and redefine who I am on my own terms. I've created a life that is full of friends, family, work, play, volunteering, running and learning new things. What I learned most along the way is the kind of relationship that I want when I have one and the kind of person that I want to spend my time with. I've stopped being the girl that loses herself in a relationship to the point of being completetly defined by it. I've become the kind of woman that won't sacrifice the things that I have learned are truly important to me just to have someone around. And in an interesting twist, I've become the kind of person that people want to spend more time with. I wouldn't trade one moment of my life right now for anything.

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TREEBW 2/26/2011 8:31AM

    Being able to spend a day in my pajamas.
Eating cereal for dinner or ice cream for breakfast.
Not feeling as though I have to look 'perfect' for anyone but me.
Not having to shave my legs every day!
Not worrying about how my decisions affect ANYONE else.
Can watch any DVD/movie I want.
When I feel happy it is because of me and what I have done and the decisions I have made.

I am not just single, my daughter also left in the fall for college so I was feeling 'beyond' single for a while. So my life has been a bit depressing at times, but good.

Let your friend know that all the things people will tell her are true.
Things happen for a reason.
This too shall pass.
Be patient with yourself and your feelings.
It is ok to mourn the loss. (and to be extremely angry)
Forgive yourself before you try to forgive anyone else.
And ask for a hug whenever you (she) need one!

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ALEXANDRA64 2/26/2011 8:20AM

    Everything! Are you kidding? The more I see what my coupled friends go through, the more I LOVE being single, lol!!!!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 2/24/2011 1:32AM

    I don't have to worry about leaving anyone behind when I go off on my adventures, try new things, etc.

Anyway, I'm sure my CATS would disagree that I am single, and assert that I belong to them! LOL

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OUTDOORSDC 2/23/2011 9:38PM

    Thanks for asking this question. It's always nice to be asked about decisions you have made in life.

I think the greatest thing about being single for me right now is that I believe, without a doubt, that I'm single because it's getting me to a place that I'm supposed to be. I think marriage is a magical thing, and I totally believe in love, but I have to admit that being single just rocks. My life is so full of adventures, friendships, hints of romance, solitude, growing and learning. I feel like I can't get enough of life these days.

At the same, though, I believe that it's critical to have balance in my life. I have a lot of guy friends, and I love holding my own weight, hanging out with the guys and just staying in tune with that different perspective.

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TUBBERS30 2/23/2011 7:10PM

  I love everyone's comments! I too agree with the spending my time, money, energy on me. If I don't feel up to going out/entertaining I am not disappointing anyone. I get to watch my shows/movies. No blanket hogging. A queen bed to myself. And of course the freedom to do what I want to do. I don't need to check in with anyone. Single can be a great thing if you don't think about what you are missing on the "dark side".

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VITASANA 2/23/2011 5:46PM

    I love having the freedom to make my own choices! I love coming and going as I please. I love being slective about what I want in my life. I love going out and working out when I want to.

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NEWHEARTSTART 2/23/2011 5:29PM

    I love not being taken for granted.

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KAZ814 2/23/2011 4:01PM

    I'm single and I love being able to make decisions for myself. If I want to go to a movie or make a purchase, the only person I have to consult is ME (well, and my bank account!) I also love the feeling that if something good happens (get out of debt, clean the house, etc.) it's because of my own hard work.

Also, I don't have to do anyone's laundry but my own OR cater to anyone else's food tastes. Both are big plusses in my book!

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KATYMACK 2/23/2011 3:42PM

    I am very newly single myself. I am taking that time to figure out me and what I want out of life. I am so happy with my decision to end the relationship. It was probably the best decision I had made. Figuring out new things is going to be exciting and fun!!!!

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PRETTYBLKGYRL 2/23/2011 3:36PM

    you had me @ "spend all that time you used to spend on him on YOUR SWEET SELF!" emoticon

(single or not - that is a GREAT mentality) We spend so much time catering to the needs of others that we often lose sight of what's important to or FOR us.

I'm a HUGE advocate of setting aside some ME time, regardless if your relationship status is: single, in a relationship, married or 'it's complicated' emoticon

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EMMANYC 2/23/2011 3:15PM

    I'm not single anymore, but when I was I don't think I appreciated how nice it was that the junk in my apartment was my junk, and I could clean it up or get rid of it if I wanted to. (My husband is tidier than I am, but we have different habits in terms of what we like to keep clean and orderly. So he leaves stuff on the surfaces I'm trying to keep clean and vice-versa. And he's a bit of a hoarder. So our apartment is twice as messy than it would be if just one of us lived there.)

On the subject of guys' stuff and how ugly it can sometimes be, I had a friend once who sent an invitation to her girlfriends for a "house-warming party" to celebrate her moving into her boyfriend's house. His friends were invited, too, of course, but the invitations to her friends also included the following:

"Door prizes for people who spill things on Dave's stuff."

Comment edited on: 2/23/2011 7:17:54 PM

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/23/2011 3:11PM

    I loved the freedom of making decisions for me and only me. I decided to be single and stop looking, moved to the city alone and changed my life. It was scary but the best decision I ever made for myself. When in life can you ever truly be selfish and make yourself happy? WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE!

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Nike Personal Trainer app for iPad :DDDDDD

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I love this app!
It is free so you can't beat the price (except for the cost of the iPad...but I got that free at work). The app works even if you are offline, so yay.

Apparently I am a slacker. I have been using my dumbells religiously and I thought I was coming along ok. But the nice lady voice on this app say "halfway, now switch sides" and I think whaaaaaat??? I thought I was done by now. Or more likely crap! I just figured out how to do it!

I really like it because I can layer my own music in and still hear the instructions. I like the giant countdown. I like the video I can play to see how the move is supposed to look when a real person does it (not my wimpy slacker method). Turns out your knee is supposed to nearly touch the ground for lunges. I can't get away with my little dips anymore. I am ready for this.

I also like to learn new things ALONE. Maybe I'm anti-social but when I am in a gym or in a class, I am just too distracted by trying not to look like a fool. With this app I can practice and figure it out all by myself. That suits me.

So there's my plug for the Nike app. I think it's available for iPhone or Droid as well. Has anyone else tried it? Or do you have another favorite fitness app?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRICKET4 2/21/2011 6:38PM

    I'll check this out right now. Thanks for the tip.

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PCOH051610 2/20/2011 5:09PM

    Good news about the app......must start looking at some of the available ones. I've got a Blackberry so the apps might be different....keep up those weights.

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 2/20/2011 11:11AM

    I emoticon my iPod Touch apps...

http://www.sparkpeop
le.com/mypage_public_journal_in
dividual.asp?blog_id=3960282>
Haven't tried the Nike one though.

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ALEXANDRA64 2/20/2011 8:00AM

    Because I walk I found the "Walkmeter" app for my iphone which works wonderfully. Gotta love those apps, lol! Glad you found one that works for you...

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