Saturday, November 27, 2010
Of all the many wonderful things I have learned on SP, it was the simple goal of giving myself a five-minute pep talk that made the biggest difference.
It was very hard to do at first. That's one of those cosmic jokes because I chose it since it looked easy. Not so. Five minutes is a long time it turns out because I was so used to berating myself constantly. But once I got the hang of it, it felt so affirming. I got the courage I needed to make some hard changes in my life. I needed to say no to some things and yes to others.
That pep talk has been crucial for keeping up with the changes. When I wanted to skip my exercise because it was inconvenient or embarrassing, my little inner cheerleader would chime in. You want this. You need this. You're doing fine. You're worth the effort.
I found myself able to encourage other people as well. I think kinder thoughts. I am kinder to other people. When I learned to be more understanding of my own weaknesses and offer comfort and cheer, well...there was some to spare.
Sad as this is to write, I have not always been kind to my beloved daughter. Yesterday a judgmental statement popped out of my mouth. She has struggled with healthy eating in college as have so many young women before her. I said...wow, you've got a muffin top. I cringe as I type those words. Within a few minutes, I went to her to apologize as sincerely as I could. I feel so bad for saying such a hurtful thing. Of course it hurt her and of course it is my fault and of course I'm very sorry. She might forgive me but the words still hurt. I know; I used to talk to myself that way all the time.
So I am learning to do this for myself and for my little girl. It isn't easy and I make a lot of mistakes but I'm trying hard. I work on it because it's worth it. My daughter is worth it. I'm worth it. YOU, dear reader, are worth it.