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UP and DOWN Moods.....

Thursday, January 21, 2010

So I wish I could say everything in my life right now is: sunshine and roses but, the reality is I don't feel it.

When hubby came home from work today and said: I think I'll give mom a big kiss (fooling around with Wyatt, then he wants to), I felt so loved and happy. I know that sounds really lame and dorky but, I'm just telling the truth.

Then they went downstairs to play and have been there since about 6:00pm and I'm upstairs moping around again.

I am so tired of these constant moods swings of mine, one day I feel good and the next is all downhill again.

I have been taking some "natural" remedies.....OM3 (fish oil) and Maca Powder (which is supposed to help with a variety of things) and I started to feel really good, I've been taking them for about a month now (someone also recommended Vitamin D).

Then this last week, I thought I was getting my monthly cycle and wham....feeling crappy again.

I have severe Endometriosis and have MONTHLY pain with each cycle.

Most recently I have been debating having an appt. with my gyno to talk about a hyst. but, then we would have NO chances of another conception, yes.....that is what I was hoping for since our son was born over 4 years ago.

I just want to curl up in a ball and hide FOREVER.

I was watching the news on Haiti this evening and thought: Tina, why are you so selfish, when all these people have nothing and I know my family is blessed with what we do have?

Why do I allow myself to feel so depressed when in reality I know things (financially) could be better but, they could be so much worse too.

Really.....I feel that I am a good person and have a loving heart and my friends have told me so but, why do I still feel empty and incomplete so often?

Honestly, I don't have any friends here where we live (Edgerton). I have been going back to the gym in town and am supposed to get back into a routine there as well. But when I go, I try desperately to focus on what I'm doing rather than who I'm talking to because, no one there does really talk to me that much. They all pretty much have their group of friends and I'm not one of them. I have tried to chat a little in the past, without success.

So.....if the people that know me say: Tina, you are awesome and thanks for being you, then why do I feel so alone?

Another friend in Stoughton told me I have "high expectations of people" and that everyone is different and let them be them and who they are and not change them, etc.

Example: I have tried numerous times to get "ladies together for a night out". Here I am really being selfish again because, what I really want is the female companionship and getting together to have a fun night.

So when it doesn't happen this way and ladies back out for one reason or another, I get discouraged and doubt myself and say....why does this always happen to me?

Actually I was successful in a "ladies night" last week at the Melting Pot. There were 15 of us all together out to have a good time and honestly, I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time.

Not that my family home makes me miserable but, just that kind of friends getting together to go out sorta night.....laughing and talking! What a great time, I just wish there were more times like that ya know.

I know I've been told people have their own lives Tina and you need to get a hobby or find something to do but, what?

I'm sure I CAN do it but, wanting to do something alone isn't fun to me.

On my FB account I am trying to get a monthly ladies night going so.......
next month, it is roller skating night and I'm really hoping that many ladies show up, if anything laugh at me falling all over the place.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LSCHULER72 1/23/2010 12:39PM

    I used to have the same symptoms. Plus, it seemed after each child was born, it became worse. Finally after sitting in a corner crying and rocking over something really trivial, I said enough was enough and went to the dr. He put me on Celexa and I have been taking it ever since (about 8 years). I still feel what I want to feel, but my scary mood swings are gone, my obsessive thoughts are gone and I am much more able to handle crisis when it does come along. I know meds aren't for everyone, but I truly feel it saved my life.

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KGEBERT 1/23/2010 12:29PM

    i hope that you can find some friends on here! i feel pretty close with a few of us on here and i have never even met these people before. its hard to find friends when its all you really want. have you ever tried going to see a therapist? i know i was very reluctant the first time but it helps to just talk to someone that cant judge you and is there to listen to whatever you say....even if its just to bitch! may i recommend a few things? first off if you are going to take vit. d which i think is a really good idea especially this time of year when there is no possible way to get enough from the sun....but make sure when you buy some to read the label and get vit. d 3. this is the best kind for depression. also maybe just focus on one friend at a time. you said there were 15 of you! holy crap! at our age i dont think you can expect to have more than 2 or 3 good friends. the last and final thing is to make sure you are open and honest. if someone doesnt respect that then they are not a good friend to you, and lastly you are a great person from what i can see so quit beating yourself up! let your husband know that when he does those things it really makes you feel good! maybe go out and buy a new outfit, put on some makeup and plan a date night with your hubby! it will make you feel like a hundred bucks and that is where you really need to start your happiness is with god, family, and then friends. good luck! and remember that blogging is great place to just let it all out! and if only i lived close to you i would come and go skating....but i am in central wi...probably a little to far away!

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RILEYCAT53711 1/22/2010 9:51AM

    I would also love to go rollerskating with you! I understand the need for female companionship. I started a book club about a year ago, and everyone was really gung ho about it at first, while I was hosting it. When it was time to rotate it to other people hosting, funny how people dropped like flies. In fact, no one stepped up to host it in January, and two people have asked me "What happened to book club?" I can be stubborn so I told them that someone else would need to step up to host, as I am always the "stand-by" host if no one else does it. Not this time!

Oops, sorry, I think I got a little crabby there! I understand moods, too!

So please keep me in mind for roller skating. Where is there a place to do that? I live in Fitchburg so not too far from Stoughton.


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KRISTINB1977 1/22/2010 8:47AM

    I will totally go roller skating with you! I'm not on Facebook, so just give me the details when it comes around.

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    Cajunanny hit the nail on the head.....I too am going to take some of her suggestions. When it gets warm out again we sparkmadison folks will resume getting together for walks and you may have noticed a few of is are going rock climbing tomorrow. Please feel free to join in!

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CAJUNGANNY 1/21/2010 10:17PM

    I hate emotional rollercoaster rides.

I have a very good friend whom I adore and love spending time with. She actually plans slumber parties once a month and every month it is a struggle for her to get participation. I have yet to go and boy would I love to. I guess the point I am trying to make is that, I would love a ladies night out, but life gets in my way.

I finally joined a women's networking group about a year ago - I didn't know a soul. This was the best thing I could do. The group meets every month on the 3rd Thursday in the evening - we now have about 250 members but at the most 15 show up - but that's ok.

Maybe set a night, like the third Thursday, set a place - send a rsvp and you be there. I remember one night, I went get a book out of my car cause no one was there - I enjoyed it because I was where I was supposed to be at that time. Does that make sense?

I guess what I am trying to say is enjoy where you are at that time. Count on you first and the rest will follow (or not). Give it some time.

Good luck


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New Workout Plan

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I did an hour of class yesterday: 500 Calorie Burn which is: 4min hand weights, 4min TRX (straps from the ceiling that you support your weight with for crunches, etc.), 4min Spin and 4min Bosu for an Hour.........

Yikes, what a workout it was but, again I think I pushed myself too hard because, I felt light-headed towards the end on the bike and felt like I was going to pass out and felt really cold.

How do you know it is too much before it's too late?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Were you cold or did you get the chills? Chills are a symptom of heat exhaustion. So, make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids. I've heard somewhere, can't tell you where (therefore accuracy is sketchy) that you should drink 8 oz every 20 minutes. I do boot camp style workouts and circuit training about 4 hours a week and I still don't drink that much water, but my trainer does break us for water at the end of each circuit.

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LSCHULER72 1/17/2010 11:47PM

    Make sure you are drinking plenty of water as well. The coldness doesn't sound right-check with your doc and make sure this is the workout for you. It sounds like a really fun class!

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KRISTINB1977 1/17/2010 4:50PM

    I agree with Janey. Even if it's just a call to your doctor to ask if it's normal. Sounds great that you're getting to the class! And it sounds like that class kicks butt!

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    Josie's answer sounds reasonable but you may want to ask your family doc as well for safety purposes. Nice to hear from you!

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JOSIENUTTER 1/17/2010 12:02AM

    I always get the same light headedness after intense cardio if I haven't had carbs before & after. Usually a small tangerine or a few Clif Shotbloks (I use those for races) beforehand and then every 40 minutes is enough to stave off any blood sugar crashing.

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Shame on me.....

Monday, January 04, 2010

2 years on Spark and I haven't accomplished a thing, no weight-loss, no dieting, full fledge trying.

Argh.....when am I going to do this for good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARSHA74 1/11/2010 4:05AM

    the main thing is you are still here... you haven't given up completely...and thats a good sign... one step at a time emoticon

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    How come we are so supportive and understanding with others and so gosh darn hard on ourselves???? I too am slowly learning to being gentle and loving with myself, so even though I might not be moving down on the scale (story of my life) I am changing how I approach the whole process, and that will lead to the regular exercise, eating healthier and ultimately weight loss. I have been learning to be my own best friend so to speak and it's about time.

You can do it, but just give yourself a pat on the back once is awhile, it goes a lot farther!

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IMJETTA8 1/9/2010 7:12PM

    Maybe you Nor ME, have lost weight the past 2 years. But have made lots of wonderful and supportive friends. I have also been able to learn from them as well as help many others as I am sure you have. That is a good thing. You are ok!! You are good!!!

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LSCHULER72 1/9/2010 2:29PM

    Don't beat yourself up about this. You are a wonderful person who deserves health and happiness. Be happy and let the rest fall into place!
Happy New Year and much peace!

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SKSCHULTE1997 1/7/2010 7:32PM

    We are here for you!! emoticon

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YUBYUB31 1/5/2010 4:46PM

    When you are ready

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KRISTINB1977 1/5/2010 6:51AM

    Just try getting through one day at a time. It's hard to think of getting 10K Fitness Minutes in one year, but can you get 30 today? Can you make sure to get a good, healthy filling breakfast?
Work on today, and tomorrow you can worry about tomorrow. Make sure to get involved in your teams for encouragement!

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 1/5/2010 2:06AM

    Same here. But we can't give up or we have no chance at all. Just like smokers who try over and over, and finally succeed - we CAN succeed!


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JUDYPOPPINS 1/5/2010 12:51AM

    Make one small change today. Momentum builds from little successes. Each time you make a change that does your body good, you are succeeding even if you don't lose an ounce. I'm sure over the past two years you've made some healthy changes (maybe better choices, a little more movement, etc.). Motivation can be pretty elusive, but beating yourself up doesn't help. Come along for the ride...try being active on your teams or on message boards. You never know what will "spark" you on.
♥ .* ) ..*) -::-
(. ;..♥ Sprinkling you ♥.*)
♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-
♥ .* ) .with a little.*) -::-
♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-
(. ;..♥ positive pixie dust♥.*)
♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-
)) -::-
. .))
((. .. Judy ..'))-::-
-::- ((.*

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    The key is you are here and are willing to keep trying...start small and build some you track your food and may get you started again....We've missed you in the Madison Team room! Drop by and bring us up to date on things.

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RENA1965 1/4/2010 9:56PM

    Start smaller- say instead of butter use a margerine.. It takes time to carry out change. When this is working- change high sugar products out for something less filled with sugar.
Try the one step healthier approach, wham bam life style change here and now frightens alot of people- slide into it slowly..
Make one small tiny goal- stick with it until you feel good about it, then onto the next.. "LIFE" style change means we have time to modify not plan a huge revolution overnight.. Long term habits..

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HPYGRL09 1/4/2010 9:54PM

    How about today, right CAN do this!


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I did 2 classes tonight....go Tina!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Can you believe I did 2 classes tonight instead of just the 1 I intended on doing, AND it was all because another girl in the first class encouraged me to do so!

I went in for my 45-minute, 4:30pm Zumba class tonight and just about lost my cookies again.

So as I was huffing and puffing towards the end, the instructor came up to me and asked me how I liked it.

Well I was honest and said; I felt and looked like a big blob and didn't think I was coordinated enough, but I stuck it out anyways and tried my best.

She said; good and don't give up quite yet, these women have been doing this for a good year and I too will learn it in time.

I just looked ridiculous and tripped over my feet many, many times.

The class was really full too, maybe 25 other ladies attended and of course I was in the front, so I could see my son in the playroom area.

I really enjoyed the dance moves, but couldn't keep up with the Salsa or some of the other dances, but again I tried.

So the class is over and this girl says to me; are you gonna come to the next class for Spin?

I about fell over and looked over my shoulder to see if she was talking to someone else.

I thought me? Is she really asking my un-coordinated butt, red-faced, just about falling over self, If I'm going to do ANOTHER CLASS?

So.......what did I say? Sure, I'll give it a try, I'm here anyways, why not try something new.

It was a good lower-impact class to take too, there were only 10 women in this class including myself and the instructor was SUPER nice!

Honestly, my son was so terrific too.......
at first he was alone in the playroom and then for the Spin class another little boy came and joined him.

Wyatt was so excited, he talked about "having a new friend" on the way home! :)

So, I did it.....I took a 45-min Zumba AND 45-min Spin/Bosu class tonight!

Yeah for me, because I haven't died yet!!!! :P

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRISTINB1977 11/11/2009 8:20AM

    That's awesome!
So, how did you like spinning? I've never tried it...

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JANEYINMADTOWN 11/10/2009 11:04PM

    Way to go....but pace yourself! I am also jealous...I have never had the opportunity to try Zumba or Spinning! Lucky lady!

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SANDYB223 11/10/2009 8:45PM

    That's so awesome that you took the challenge and tried something new...WooHoo!!!!!!

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SASKATIA 11/10/2009 8:21PM

  Way to go!

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MHELMS_2 11/10/2009 8:19PM

  Go Tina... Go Tina...

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Is this a "normal" workout?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Well, last night was a tough night alright.

Tell me if this is "normal".....

This first class was indeed intense and the owner, who was the instructor last night, said I didn't have to follow the other's, but I tried to as much as possible because she kept saying...come on ladies this way and that and told me to lift here and there, when I can't even squeeze my big gutt to begin with.

So it was a 45 minute workout class that I almost fell over with in 20.

I literally got up at one point and thought I was gonna pass out.

My face was pitch red and of course I was sweating, then I just got really dizzy and hot/cold at the same moment.

Well, I made it through and she gave me a high 10 and said good job, but ignored me in the middle when she said; how do you feel everyone while the workout was going on and people chimed in. I tried to ask then, but she just looked away and on to the ones she knew.

As I was leaving I grabbed gulps of water from the drinking fountain and headed out the door.
My head was pounding and I felt sick, once I reached home, only about 5 minutes away, I threw up and hurt all over.

So tell me this: I need to know if I pushed myself too hard this time or if it is just my body reacting to NOT working out in sooooooooooooo long?

I'm going back tonight for Zumba and need to know if I should just do what I can or what.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIGGER1992 11/11/2009 12:58AM

    Man, now that is torture. Aren't you supposed to be able to talk normally while exercising - work hard but don't hurt yourself? That didn't sound like a very good class or a very good instructor. Remember slow and steady wins the race! emoticon

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JANEYINMADTOWN 11/10/2009 11:02PM

    I agree...your body is trying to tell you something....start slow and sticking with it is the key to success...the personal trainer should know better but I am sure she was trying to keep motivation high for all will get there....

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MYLUVWYATT 11/10/2009 7:54PM

    Thanks for the response! :)

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SCOTTKRI 11/10/2009 5:30PM

    I would say that you if you are feeling dizzy and sick, then you are pushing yourself too hard too soon.

Sweating, out of breath, shaky muscles, some fatigue, and redness is normal.

Pushing yourself is good, but if you are just getting into it then you need to work up to that level. Rate your exertion on a level of 1-10. If you are hitting a 7 you might use your arms less, walk in place, or do the lower impact version for a few minutes to let your body recover, then join back in with the class.

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