Friday, November 28, 2008
It feels amazing to look in the mirror and be happy with your reflection. I no longer see the flaws I always used to focus on - I now see the positive things, the strengths. And I love my body: its shape, its feminine curves, even my bone structure. I don't focus on the things I'm not so happy with because I know that I'm getting there - soon I'll be even happier with the way I look because I know I'm on the right path and I can't go wrong anymore. For the first time in years, I'm proud to be me. I don't care that I still have over 30 pounds to lose before I reach my goal! I'm not in a hurry. As I said, I'm getting there. And that's good enough for me. I no longer feel like I want to be taller, really skinny - which is basically impossible because I'm short (5'2" and curvy; my bone structure makes it impossible for me to be tiny and delecate; my body type is more like Beyoncé's and I'm okay with that! FINALLY!).
I finally love myself for who I really am. And that is amazing.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I did a little shopping today. I bought a new bra (red, sexy!), a cute pink top, a pretty black purse and a black tunic (which I think makes me look a lot thinner!) from Ginatricot. I didn't spend that much, just over 55 euros, but as a student, my budget is limited - unfortunatelly. I saw so many clothes I would LOVE TO buy but I couldn't. I'm going shopping again this weekend though when I get money. I need new jeans! My old ones are getting too big now that I've lost weight! Haha it makes me so happy to see that my hard work is paying off.
I used to love shopping so much before I started to gain weight. After that, shopping and trying on clothes became traumatic. I hated to see that the clothes didn't fit and they didn't look good on me because of all the extra weight. I started to avoid shopping but now that I'm getting back in shape, it seems I don't do that anymore. Sometimes, I still get those moments when I feel fat when I'm trying on a pair of jeans that don't fit perfectly or a dress that I feel is making me look "fat". But I try not to panic; I say to myself: "Relax! You're getting there! You've lost so much weight already and you look great. You DESERVE to shop here and buy beautiful new clothes even if you're not a size zero!". And it really helps! I'm glad I'm able to shop again and that clothes fit much better now. I've always loved fashion and I want to look good and chic at all times. It makes me feel beautiful to take care of my looks - whether it be through clothes, a healthy diet, a beautiful make-up or all of the above!
I won't let my weight stand in the way of looking good and feeling beautiful!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Hi everyone! I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine. I went to the doctor today and since my blood pressure was still high and my pulse (lying down, relaxed) was 123, she made an appointment for me to see another doctor tomorrow morning. He'll take some blood tests and hopefully then we'll know what the hell is the matter with me! I can't wait to be healthy enough to start working out again. Food-wise, things are going really well! I'm watching my fat intake and keeping it below 40 grams per day (except on weekends when the limit is 50 grams). I've had 6 servings of fruit and veggies today and I had a healthy tomato & chicken soup for lunch. Ohh and I'm finally getting enough calcium (or at least I'm getting there!). I'm thinking of starting to take a calcium supplement every day to make sure I'm getting the recommended daily amount of calcium. And I also plan to start taking vitamins tomorrow. I really want to get well!
Hope you're all great! More tomorrow! :)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I just realized that I've lost 27 pounds since I started to lose weight in June. That's a lot! I'm so glad I'm done yo-yo dieting and have become much more patient. I'm not in a hurry anymore. I'm giving my body time to get in shape - because this time, I want results and a lifestyle that will LAST! I'm so proud of myself for being able to lose this weight. I think I haven't been giving myself enough credit for it lately. That's going to change! I want to reward myself for reaching certai goals in the future so that I'll stay motivated in the future as well.
GOAL #1: 150 pounds
Reward: Björn Axén hair volume set
GOAL #2: 140 pounds
Reward: Treat yourself: face mask, manicure, pedicure, a good girly movie, new perfume, a new sexy pajama from H&M
GOAL #3: 130 pounds
Reward: New lingerie, a healthy dinner at a good restaurant, buy something nice you've wanting to buy for a long time - a new bag, new make-up, etc.
ULTIMATE GOAL: 120 pounds
Reward: A trip to somewhere nice (Greece, France, England, Spain, or just a nice roadtrip!), update your wardrobe for sexy summer style: new bikinis, sexy dresses, gorgeous shoes! It's time to flaunt that body you've worked so hard for!
I think those goals will definitely keep me motivated! I can't wait to weigh 120 pounds again! Well, actually, I can wait. And I am going to - no hurry this time. I'll wait as long as it takes but I KNOW I will get there one day. I'm going to the right direction after all!
Last night I was absolutely certain I'd have to go to the hospital. My heart was beating like mad (126 times per minute) and I had done nothing but layed in bed for hours. Luckily, I didn't have to. I was able to sleep quite well last night but this morning I felt horrible again. I couldn't move because my pulse immediately went up to 140-150. The left side of my chest was also hurting (which scared the hell out of me!!). It didn't last for a very long time though. I've been staying in bed since. My pulse still is way too high and I don't know what the hell is going on. I'm trying to get through today and tomorrow, and on Monday I'm finally going back to the doctor.
I hope you're all having a relaxing and wonderful weekend!
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