Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sometimes it's very hard to stay focused on the future and fight off the cravings when they occur.
It all started this weekend. I did really well last week - I ate healthy, worked out and felt amazing and confident. I was making small adjustments and enjoyed every minute of it. It was all going smoothly.
Then the weekend came. I knew it meant challenges, lots of challenges. Weekends are always very problematic for me (as they are for many, I'm sure). On one hand, I feel like I really want to indulge and enjoy some of my favorite treats (after all, it's weekend, time to unwind and relax). THE THING IS, though, that I don't feel relaxed on Sunday evening when the weekend is over. Instead, I feel guilty. I had too many pieces of chocolate, too many slices of pizza or skipped a workout I really didn't want to skip. My energy level has gone down instead of up. I feel cranky, bloated, guilty and like a big fat failure.
And the thing is, even though I didn't eat THAT MUCH last weekend, I find it EXTREMELY difficult to get back on the right track when the weekend is over. It's like once I start, I can't control myself. It's like an addiction. Now I'm getting cravings constantly. I tracked every single craving I got today. Guess how long my list was? I was shocked to realize that I craved unhealthy foods 23 times today (that I recognized well enough to track). And they are so persistent, too. They just don't seem to go away until I give in - and that only makes it worse. I know some people say that when you get a craving for chocolate, have carrot sticks or a few pieces of fruit instead and it'll pass. Doesn't work for me. I literally obsess about the foods that I crave and can't stop thinking about them no matter what I do. I try to keep myself busy, I go for a long walk, I write, I read, I have a granola bar or some yogurt instead. Nothing seems to help.
I'm now starting to wonder if I really have an addiction. I always say I enjoy my favorite treats in moderation and include them in my diet as a part of my permanent, healthy lifestyle. Ideally, that would be the case. In reality, though, things don't go that way. I try and I try, but I just can't seem to stop eating once I start. I feel like there is no point in eating one small chocolate bar - I NEED A WHOLE BAG OF THEM. It's crazy!
So I guess the question now is whether or not to keep eating these foods that send me off balance for days, weeks or even months. Having one slice of pizza leads to ice cream and that leads to chocolate and before I know it, I have eaten a week's worth of calories in a few days. I WANT TO STOP! I know this is why my weight loss is so slow - I do well during the week, but the weekends are my big downfall. It's like adding fuel to the fire. I don't know what to do.
When I didn't eat any candy (not even chocolate) for three weeks in December, I eventually stopped craving it. I felt more balanced than ever before in my life. It wasn't even that hard. The question is: should I stay away from the foods that make me over eat or should I try and include them in my diet? I know that restricting can lead to binging so I'm a little cautious about black-and-white solutions here. Maybe I should try and find some middle ground. No chocolate or pizza more than once a month? I'd really appreciate some words of wisdom from you guys.
I am so sick of eating when I'm not hungry.
I am so sick of being controlled by food.
I AM SO SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS.
I just want to find a way to live a balanced, healthy, and satisfying life. I AM SURE there is a way to do that. I'm not giving up.
Monday, March 08, 2010
I know I've blogged about this topic before, but it never gets old. On the comments left on my previous entry, some of you suggested taking measurements to see if I'm making progress even though the scale is stuck at that same number. And I am proud to say that I have started taking measurements on my waist, hips, upper arm, thighs and neck a couple of months ago! I always wanted to start tracking my progress that way and I honestly don't know what took me this long to get started. I'm only taking the measurements once or twice a month because otherwise it would be difficult to see if you're making progress. I'm so excited about taking my March measurements at the end of the month. I really hope to have lost a few inches by then!
And there's another thing I wanted to write about: the scale. It's such a powerful object if you let it. I used to only weigh myself a couple of times a month, but once I bought my own bathroom scale, I started hopping on it almost every morning. And it can be such a depressing, unreliable indicator of success, too! Your body weight can fluctuate for no obvious reason and it doesn't necessarily mean that you have gained weight! It's sad that sometimes when I have been feeling really good about myself, I step on the scale only to see that the numbers haven't gone down or worse: that they have actually gone up. It can ruin a girl's day, I tell you that!! And it shouldn't be like that. I don't know whether to ditch the scale altogether and focus on taking measurements and before/during pictures once a month (and comparing them to the previous pictures). After all, the best way to measure success is how you LOOK and how you FEEL, the number is just a number and the number ITSELF does not matter at all. I'm hoping that one day when I look in the mirror, I'll just know I'm there. I know one day I'll feel comfortable in my own skin, and fit into my clothes better and feel more confident and much stronger - and that is my ULTIMATE GOAL, not a number on the scale.
What do you guys think? How often do you weigh yourself? Do you also take measurements? Do we REALLY need the scale anyway?
Sunday, March 07, 2010
I've been stuck at this same weight for such a long time now that it's getting ridiculous. I might gain a few pounds and those I can lose pretty quickly, but when I hit 75 kilograms it's like hitting a brick wall. It's so frustrating when you're doing everything right and working really hard and yet the scale is not moving. I know that I WILL EVENTUALLY start losing weight again, but I'd really appreciate it if that would happen somewhere in the near future.
So I have made a plan to bust right through this plateau and start losing weight again! My goal is to make that happen in March so that I can finally start shedding those pounds again! I AM SO READY for that to happen, trust me.
So here's my Plateau-busting plan for March:
- Lots of cardio: I'll do different varieties of cardio exercises every day - I'll go jogging one day, go nordic walking the next, I'll go swimming a couple of times a week, I'll do yoga and pilates, I'll ski or dance or hit the gym! You get the idea! I'll do lots of different types of cardio in varying levels of intensity and duration. That should shake things up a little!
- Firming it up: I'll focus on different muscle group every day. On Monday, it's time for the upper body, on Wednesday I'll focus on core exercises, on Thursday it's time for lower body and so on (except for Sundays, my day off). I'll try to do at least 20 minutes of my favorite exercises every day, that way it won't get boring and I still get all the benefits of regular exercise!
- Nutrition & sleep: Naturally, nutrition plays a huge part. To shake things up and get my body to finally respond in the way I want it to, I'll have to try some new things that will hopefully help in getting those numbers on the scale go down again. I'll add more lean, low-fat protein and reduce the amount of simple carbs (white bread, pasta, candy etc.). I'll also try and get at least 4-6 servings of fruit and veggies every day. I'll keep drinking lots of water and really do my best to stay away from sugary, fatty, salty treats that are just no good for me.
I am so ready to move on and start seeing results again. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm doing a good job and I'm already seeing changes that make me so happy and grateful. But I feel like I need something more concrete now; I deserve it.
AND the best is yet to come: if - and when - I complete this March Challenge and manage to get out of this plateau, I'll reward myself with a complete hair make-over and this GORGEOUS leather jacket I've been eyeing for a looooong time! :)
HERE WE GO! Bye, bye, Plateau!
So motivating! I love her outfit!
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
It's been a while. I thought I'd give you guys a little update on how I've been doing lately. Everything is going great! In February, I learned so many new things about being patient and taking things one step at a time. I'm now off to a great start - and for the first time, I don't feel burned out or stressed about changing my lifestyle! It's amazing. I now realize how important it is to keep in mind that weight loss happens slowly over time, not in 24-hour slots (which basically means that, these days, when I go over my calories or eat something I shouldn't, I don't say: "Oh well, I might as well keep eating since I already messed up my eating for today!") It's incredible what a difference such a short time can make. I now know that small changes count - there is no need for drastic, dramatic changes that rarely stick. After all, I'm in this for the long haul!
In February, I lost two pounds and a few centimeters on my waist. My clothes fit better, I feel more confident and I'm building momentum for months and years to come.
I look forward to March and seeing my body and mind transform even further. My goal this month is to lose 4 kilograms (about 7.5 pounds) and firm up. I'm loving nordic walking at the moment - it's so much more effective and burns 20 % more calories than walking alone! That's part of my workout plan for March as well as swimming, yoga and strength training. I'm also logging in here every day and tracking my meals & fitness as well as the goals I have set for myself. I have a good feeling about this!!!
Oh and by the way, I feel so motivated because I took some before pictures in early February and now again a few days ago, and I can already see a small difference. I'm on the right track!
How amazing is that?
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