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Day 17 - School shooting in Finland

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm so shocked. I can't believe this is happening again. I don't know if you've heard about this or not but there has been a school shooting incident in Kauhajoki, Finland today. Apparently, a 22-year-old student called Matti Juhani Saari killed 9 of his classmates, a male teacher and himself earlier today. Isn't it shocking? His motive was that he hated the human race and this was his way of showing that to everyone. I find that so hard to believe... WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT? Obviously, he must have had some serious mental problems. He was lonely and isolated. But I mean, come on! This was not supposed to happen! Especially not after last year when Pekka-Eric Auvinen, a 18-year-old high school student killed 8 people at his high school. This speaks of a huge problem. Something has to be done QUICKLY to prevent tragedies like these from happening. It's so terrifying to think that you never know what will happen and who will lose it and start mindlessly shooting people he knows very well. It's a scary thought,

I just want to express my deepest condolances to the families and friends of the victims of today's shocking events. And, to the victims, I only have this to say: I hope you rest in peace.


Day 16 - Ready for stage 2!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Hi everyone!

I moved on to stage two today. So far, I'm off to an excellent start. I realized I was getting way too much of my calories from fat and decided to cut way back on my fat intake. I went grocery shopping with Tommi today and we bought lots and lots of healthy foods: kiwis, bananas, carrots, tomatos, lettuce, cucumber, apples, low-fat cottage cheese, natural (non-fat) yogurt, lean chicken... I'm so excited. I'm FINALLY really doing this. No more slacking. I'm ready for this now.

I'm still at about 169 lbs. I'm so glad I hadn't gained any weight last week... Things got a bit out of hand. But thankfully I didn't give up - I won't! - and pulled myself together. I'm not as impatient as I used to be anymore. I guess I'm growing up and learning that change takes time to be a lifelong change.

I hope you're all doing great! I have to go blow-dry my hair and then I'm off to bed. A demain!


Day 12 - Back on track!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I've finally managed to pull myself together. Today I stayed within my calorie limits and reached all the other nutritional goals as well. I'm feeling a little ill though, and that's why I haven't really been able to work out. I just want to get better as soon as possible. Things are going great now. I'm not going to give up. Ever. I will keep on going and I'll reach all my goals in the future.

This is going to be a bit short because I have a million things to do for tomorrow and it's already 9 pm here. I hope everyone is doing well!

Stay positive!


Day 10 - The difficulty of staying motivated

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I'm slipping...'s so easy to fall off the wagon. It's so easy to say (after you've eaten three slices of cake or four candy bars) *Well f*ck this then, I screwed up, I shouldn't have eaten this. I might as well eat the rest because OBVIOUSLY I have NO SELF-CONTROL and the damage is done.' I admit I used to think like that in the past. Every time I ate something I shouldn't have or skipped a few workouts I'd just QUIT! That is so sad. It's sad because when you begin to slip the last thing you should do is blame yourself, get depressed and give up! YOU SHOULD STOP, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, LOOK BACK AND TRY TO LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES YOU MADE - AND MOVE ON! Easier said than done, I admit. It's not easy to stay motivated and to believe in yourself in every situation.

But I want to learn to be more positive even when I find myself doing the things I shouldn't do. I want to keep the faith and forgive myself. I'm only human! Life is a marathon. You just have to keep moving forward, NO MATTER WHAT. What good would it do to me to stop when things get rough? It would only make me feel worse! But, instead, if I try to learn from my mistakes and decide to keep on going forward things will eventually change! I have to stop being so hard on myself. I have to stay motivated. I don't want to give up anymore. I want to stop running away from my problems.

Yesterday was my Tommi's birthday and I had three tortillas, some chocolate, Coke and a slice of cake (on top of the other meals I had eaten earlier). Today I had another two slices of that cake and a tortilla. I realize it's not the end of the world but what scares me is the fact that I know myself and I know that, in the past, all my previous attempts to change my lifestyle have failed in situations like these. So now, I think, it is time to take a deep breath and calm down. It's time to be reasonable. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! I can put this behind me and move on. I WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER if I do so. Sometimes I think that, subconsciously, I am looking for a reason to quit. I have some cake and there, everything's ruined, I can quit and go back to eating whatever I want (and feeling miserable!!). I WILL NOT DO THAT this time. I will not.

Therefore, I am going to get back up and keep on moving forward. I'm going to forgive myself and leave this behind me. Tomorrow is a new day. A new chance to make healthy choices. I am going to make it. I will lose all this weight and negativity and become healthy and strong.

I forgive myself.


Day 8

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Guess what? I went to see my parents this weekend and decided to weigh myself to see if I had lost any weight this week. I was beyond happy to notice I had lost another 2 pounds this week! This means I now weigh about 169 pounds and have already lost 7 pounds! I feel amazing. I can already feel and see the change. My clothes fit better and my self-esteem is better than in a long, long time. I feel so motivated to keep on going now. It feels so different this time. It really feels like I'm making real, lifelong changes that will last - and therefore I won't gain the weight back anymore! I remember the first time I started using SparkPeople (this was about two years ago I think) and I found the constant tracking of meals and workouts extremely annoying and pointless. BUT NOW I REALIZE IT IS NOT POINTLESS, quite the opposite: IT IS CRUCIAL when it comes to making lifestyle changes that will last and make you healthy and thin. Now that I track my food I think twice before eating that candy bar or cheeseburger because I know it'll be there at the end of the day, it'll be there among all the other things I have eaten and it won't look pretty. I used to find the meal tracking part extremely frustrating because, as you know, I live in Finland and I'm frequently eating foods that aren't listed there. I thought it would be so much TROUBLE to manually enter every single ingredient of my meal and whatnot. But come on, what is that compared to weight gain? I'm willing to work hard and do this the right way this time.

And it is AMAZING to see that my hard work is paying off!

I'm going to take a shower now and get ready for bed. I still have to plan my boyfriend's birthday menu for tomorrow. Something healthy and yet festive and delicious.. Hmm. I'll come up with something!

I hope you're all doing well! emoticon


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