Thursday, February 04, 2010
I got to thinking of past, present and future today. People always say that there's no time like the present, but do they really practice what they preach? I for one know very well that I have a lot of work to do before really learning how to live in the moment.
I admit most of my thoughts have something to do with either the past or the future. Especially when it comes to losing weight. I find myself obsessing over a dinner next Saturday and whether or not I'll go over my calories. I go through old pictures and look at my thinner - much younger - self with agony and envy. I plan way ahead and worry about how I'll look in June when I'm going to Greece and if I'll be able to reach my goal weight by then. And you know what? It's EXHAUSTING. By spending so much time worrying about things that have either happened a long time ago or are yet to happen, I forget the most important thing of all: the choices I make today are what, eventually, build my future. And when it comes to things that are long gone and that can't be changed, sometimes it's best to let go.
All of that extra baggage and obsessing take up so much energy that I have none left to actually DO SOMETHING about my situation so that my future will become what I so much want it to be. So, today, I decided that from now on I'll do my best to really focus on the present and the choices I make today. Sure, it's always motivating to have goals and dreams, and it's healthy to look into the future every now and then. But when it starts to control your thinking too much, then it might be time for a reality check.
"Someday" is today. It is right now. It's what we do today that matters. Living in the moment is a huge challenge for me, but it really is something I want to become better at. No more stress about what the future holds: it's today that counts.
As Annie Lennox put it:
“The future hasn't happened yet and the past is gone. So I think the only moment we have is right here and now, and I try to make the best of those moments, the moments that I'm in.”
Motivating picture of the day:
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Time and time again, I have read about the importance of starting small and making small adjustments rather than drastic changes when starting to create a healthy lifestyle. And every single time I've thought that I understood what that means only to find myself taking giant leaps that leave me feeling winded and exhausted. I always go for too much, too soon - and that sets me up for failure.
Now that I look back at all the previous times I have tried to change my lifestyle and lose weight, I realize what I've been doing wrong. I expect too much from myself. It's completely unrealistic - and unfair, too, for that matter - to expect that I have the capacity to change over night and somehow magically become a different person when I wake up the next morning. I get tired because I try to change too much at once. That's my problem, and I realize that now.
This time, I'm really trying to ease my way into this lifestyle change as I really do want to make it a permanent one. I'm focusing on small goals: eating at least 2 fruits or veggies a day, going for a walk, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, replacing my old snacks with some healthy alternatives. After all, I'm not in a hurry. What I really want is to make some changes that will become a part of my permanent lifestyle.
I know that by starting small, I'll end up getting further than ever before.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
I updated my SparkPage for a reason. I want a fresh start. I feel like I'm still stuck at the same old dead end where I've ended up a thousand times before. I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. I try my best but time and time again I end up falling right back into my old unhealthy habits. I've been thinking about possible reasons for it, and the only one that makes sense to me is that I have still yet to fully learn and understand that healthy lifestyle this website is all about. I'd like to think that I'm no longer dieting but living a normal, healthy life instead, but I would be very wrong to think that. The sad truth is that I still have a long way to go before I can truly say I'm living, not dieting.
It's so difficult NOT TO diet! Mainly because you need certain restrictions and rules to make your weight loss work! And before you know it, it's all about rules and calculating calories and obsessing about this and that. It's not normal, healthy living. And that's why I haven't been able to keep it up for longer than a month - or if I've been lucky, even two. I get sick of it. And that's a sign that it's not working.
What should I do then? I'm worried that if I don't track calories or invent rules or obsess I won't lose any weight. Obviously, I know that's not true - because if it was, I would've met my goal weight ages ago! Something really needs to change. From now on, I'm going to be smart about this. I'll eat what I know is healthy, I'll eat when I'm hungry, I'll work out three times a week and do at least an hour of cardio every day. I'll weigh myself every two weeks to measure my progress. There are no 'guilt foods' and there will be no 'don't-eat-these-EVER' lists. I KNOW how I'm supposed to live. And this time, I'll make it.
I have set myself a few weight loss goals and planned some rewards for the upcoming months:
February 28th: 71 kgs
REWARD: Two cardigans I LOVE but cannot afford right now + a cute top
March 28th: 67 kgs
REWARD: A new hairstyle
April 28th: 63 kgs
REWARD: New shoes, a summer dress, a bag, sexy lingerie
May 28th: 59 kgs
REWARD: New bikini, all kinds of summer clothes AND - last but not least - A HOLIDAY IN CORFU, GREECE from May 28th to June 4th! I'm going with my mom and little sister, it'll be amazing. I've actually been in Corfu once four years ago with Tommi. It was such a gorgeous island in the Mediterranean and I can't wait to go back there this summer! I WANT TO LOOK HOT IN A BIKINI! :) That's my ultimate reward.
Wish me luck ;)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
It's been almost a month since my last update! After Christmas, I have to say, things got a little crazy. Just as I feared, once I allowed myself to have a little bit of those treats that I wasn't allowed to have before, I lost control. It scares me to think how easy it is to get lost in that same old mindless cycle of overeating. I really want to focus on adapting a new LIFESTYLE and get rid of the dieting mindset once and for all. I thought that was in the past already, but apparently I still need a lot of practice.
I started school again last Monday, and got back to working out regularly and eating healthy meals. I'm not going overboard this time: balance is the key. I'm cutting back on high-calorie treats and working out more (cardio 60-90 mins every day, strength training 30 minutes on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays). It's that simple! I'm looking forward to the spring and all that it has in store for me. I'm not sure what next fall will bring (I don't know if I'll continue studying here in Turku, probably not - I don't see how I would be able to be happy here. I feel lonely and miss Tommi all the time, and in addition to that, I don't get anything out of my studies. I'm looking for a better option for myself, and I'm hopeful that I'll find it. In my heart, I feel like I don't belong here.).
Anyway, it's a new year - HAPPY NEW YEAR, BY THE WAY! - and with it come new goals. Instead of a few big resolutions, I am setting myself lots of small goals that will make a big difference in 2010.
In 2010, I will...
...reach my goal weight of 59 kgs and adapt a healthy lifestyle that will last as long as I live.
...start a new hobby.
...learn to be an optimist.
...learn to love working out.
...focus on my writing.
...stay in touch with my friends.
...send my poems to publishing agencies.
...finish my novel.
...can run 20 minutes without stopping.
...fit in the European size 36.
...cut back on sodium, fat and sugar, and eat more fruit and veggies.
...do yoga regularly.
...learn a new language.
...find something else to study; something, that will bring me satisfaction and joy, and won't drain me emotionally and cause anxiety.
...keep a diary.
...be more spontaneous.
...be a great and a loving girlfriend.
...learn to love myself unconditionally.
...keep my promises.
...take risks and follow my heart.
...try new things.
...keep my apartment clean.
...get enough rest and sleep.
...get things done on time.
...not spend too much money on clothes.
...believe in myself.
...watch less TV.
...spend less time on the internet.
...try not to stress about things as much.
...take a cruise.
...go to a spa.
...be more grateful.
...be less selfish.
...be myself, at all times.
I know this year will be a wonderful one. I want to follow my heart and find my place in this world. I don't want to waste another year doing something that leaves me empty inside. I have goals now, and I'm determined to reach all of them.
Happy New Year to all of you - I hope it'll bring you joy, health, love and peace.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Can you believe my challenge is already over?! These three weeks have gone by so quickly that I didn't almost even notice. These three weeks have made all the difference in the world to me! I've gotten my weight loss going again - it's about time!!! - and I feel a million times better and a lot more confident than when I started on December 1st.
During these three weeks I have...
1) Learned that I CAN DO THIS: I can get my emotional eating under control and lose weight WITHOUT feeling deprived all the time!
2) Gotten my confidence back.
3) Lost four pounds and gained muscle.
4) Gotten a lot firmer and much more toned!
5) Learned to love exercise - I never thought it could happen!!
6) Realized the importance of taking care of myself and what a difference it makes in my every day life.
7) Worked very hard to build consistency and to learn to be more patient with myself.
8) Understood that as long as I feel good in my own skin, it doesn't matter what other people say or think. I know I'm beautiful, and that's all that counts.
9) Noticed that my clothes fit a lot better and my skin looks smooth and clear because of eating healthy and getting lots of air.
10) Also realized that I could never keep this up for longer than three weeks: I need days off when it comes to working out, and I need my occasional hamburger or a chocolate bar. But I have learned that it's all about balance and moderation.
I now know where to go from here. I'll keep on working hard and focusing on getting fit, but this bootcamp is now over and I don't mind! :D HAHA. I honestly feel more than excited about getting to eat all the lovely Christmas foods - and chocolate - tomorrow! IT'S BEEN SO LONG! Tomorrow, I'm not counting calories. But after Christmas it's time to get serious again. I'll get back to my usual routine of working out three times a week and doing at least 45 mins of cardio a day. I'll follow the SparkDiet and its calorie limits, but still have an occasional treat every now and then. C'est la vie! Then, hopefully, I'll get down to 130 pounds by summer.
If I don't update tomorrow then I'm already wishing you all MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I hope you all get to enjoy the holidays and relax with your loved ones!!
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