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Rise and shine!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Good morning, ladies (and gentlemen)!

Most of you are in a deep sleep when I'm writing this but for me it's morning already, and I'm having breakfast (a banana, some low-fat yogurt with muesli, and chamomile tea) and getting ready for school. I only have one 45-minute lecture today. It's grammar. GRAMMAR. I can't even begin to describe how much I hate all kinds of pointless grammatical rules, I couldn't care less. As long as I know how to speak, read and write English - and I think I do - that's fine with me. But no, studying here is all about the grammatical rules and the phonemes and whatnot. One of our professors told us that she has spent the past 15 years studying and examining the letter (or should I say, the PHONEME, the sound) of /i/. Can you believe that? And she's so passionate about it, too.

Beats me.

Anyway, enough about that. I'm feeling much better today. When I get home from school I need to pack since I'm going home for Tommi's grandmother's funeral. She had been very sick for years so, as sad as it is, it's also a sort of relief that she doesn't have to suffer anymore.

It's good to go home and spend time with my family, I haven't seen them in a long time and I really miss them. I only have a week left before midterm and the 8th week (which is always a week off, I can't wait!). Tommi has a fall break at the same time so we're planning to go on a little vacation together. It'll be so much fun!

Okay, I better start getting ready. See you later!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAKI34 10/13/2009 12:10AM

    Good luck on your trip. And I really hope you can survive studying something you don't really like! I mean your professor obiously loves what she teaches, but I couldn't imagine myself going everyday to some boring class that I hate!

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NIXFROMTHEBLOC 10/12/2009 4:59AM

    Have a good trip
xxx

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MARK1963113 10/9/2009 7:26AM

    Good morning. Thanks for the blog post. Have a safe and blessed weekend. My condolences to the family.

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KANSASC 10/8/2009 2:01PM

    Yay! For Fall Break! emoticon

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ZANNACHAN 10/8/2009 11:43AM

    My sympathies for Tommi and his family for their loss. I am glad that she's at peace now, at least.

I studied phonemes etc. in my linguistic anthropology class--how I hated it! It went beyond grammar to the sub-grammar that made up languages and I really couldn't have cared less. At least I only had to take the one class! And at least half of that class was linguistics from a cultural perspective (such as gendered use of language and language and power) so really it was only a half semester of phonemes and syntax and the like

But then I hated studying English grammar in school, even though it was helpful for learning Spanish because I understood the roles the different parts of speech performed (for example, direct objects and indirect objects in Spanish are treated differently than they are in English, so you have to know whether or not something is a direct or indirect object. You don't have to know the term, but you do have to recognize the difference.) My friend compared studying grammar and dissecting sentences to dissecting a frog--now you know why and how the frog jumps, but it no longer jumps.

Have a great mid-term break! I'm so envious of a school system that gives you a week off after the midterm! Here, we get 3 days off for Thanksgiving, but that's at the end of the semester, shortly before finals, so I am always so swamped that the holiday is super-stressful. We do get a break in the winter/spring term, though, for spring break.

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LUCYGODDESS 10/8/2009 8:56AM

    Tell Tommi I send my sympathies for the passing of his grandmother. But you are right that sometimes it's better for them to go on than to suffer.

The letter "I"...amazing! WHEW...bless your heart. Hopefully I will catch ya on here later today. I saw you on yesterday & you had your setting for chat set to "away". I hung out & waited a while & then had to do an update for our computers by shutting down & rebooting. When I came back you had vanished.

Keep your head up, diva!

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THEONE909 10/8/2009 3:58AM

    Have a wonderful trip

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ELDONMYER1 10/8/2009 3:36AM

    emoticon

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Thank you, thank you, thank you

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I am so grateful for your kind, encouraging words. I didn't really expect anyone to comment since I haven't been updating in a long time. I really, truly appreciate that so many of you took the time to leave a comment on my blog, it means the world to me.

For the first time in a long time, it feels like I'm not alone with this anymore. It's such a relief. Ever since this morning that I posted my previous entry, I have been feeling a lot better. I feel as though there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing a lot of soul searching today and reading through Wellness articles here on Sparks.

The hopelessness is beginning to fade. Slowly but surely. I know that I have to be strong now. And I realize that this is my life and I have to start living it for myself and stop worrying so much about what other people think of me. Life is much too short for that. Ever since my childhood I have let other people manipulate me and tell me what to do, what to want, what to dream of. It's about time to stop and take a long, hard look at myself. I'm not going to waste my life being sad or doing something I deep down inside don't feel like doing. It's just not worth it.

I'm not giving up. I'll get back on the right track and start taking better care of myself again. I'll stop binging and start working out regularly again (thankfully I've still been walking at least 70 minutes every day to campus and back!). I'm giving myself a year at the Uni studying English philology even though I can't stand it, and if I still hate it next spring, I'll apply somewhere else. I would really love to be a make-up artist or a cosmetician so that's one option if I decide to change schools. We'll see.

The main thing is, there is always an option. I'm not stuck here even though I might feel like it at times. I'm the only one standing in my way. I can make the choices that affect my life. I can decide to be who I am and be happy. And I will.

Thank you, once again, for being so amazing. I'm thanking God for all of you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYGODDESS 10/7/2009 10:33AM

    Girl you know we all love ya & are interested. I sometimes disappear from here to, but always end up back on course, as you will & seem to be doing.

I think it's admirable that you are giving it a year (a school year) to see if your opinion changes. I don't know though, but if at the end of the sememester you don't like it, I might consider changing for the next sememester. Do you have sememsters up there? Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure you will excel at it. You are very beautiful & intelligent & will go very far. You are right though that you have to please yourself before pleasing others.

I still would talk to Tommi, if you haven't. You could swear him to secrecy & I'm sure he wouldn't tell your family/friends about your change of heart. It always helps to have the one you love supporting you & know that he is on your side, no matter what.

Look for me on the chat feature on here, girl. I'll be at drive thru until the end of the month, during the days (Monday thru Friday 8:30ish to 4:30ish.)

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KANSASC 10/7/2009 10:17AM

    emoticon Glad to hear that you are feeling much better!

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NIXFROMTHEBLOC 10/7/2009 2:36AM

    AAAH GREAT BLOG@!

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ZANNACHAN 10/6/2009 4:25PM

    I just read both your posts today. I'm glad that your day is looking up, but I'm sorry to hear that your first semester has been so hard for you. It sounds like you are having a really rough fall, and as people have recently reminded me, sometimes you just need to vent/get it off your chest.

You are definitely NOT stuck there at university. You have other options. I think it is a good idea to stick with it for awhile, because I know from personal experience your first bit at college, before you find your place, make your friends, etc., can be very hard but it can get a lot better. But if it doesn't work out, it doesn't. It will probably also help if you find a way to make connections, get involved--join an organization, a church group, something. Those kinds of connections provide important forms of social support, so you won't feel so alone.

Have you considered switching degree tracks? I don't know much about your educational system, but I know that here it's not uncommon for people to come to college to major in one field and then finding it didn't suit them and changing (one of my close friends started off as a chemical engineer before switching to accounting. My dad was going to be a high school math teacher and ended up in accounting and then went on to work with computers. Life doesn't always turn out the way you expected, and that can be a good thing).

There are tons of fields you can go into that would let you travel to English speaking areas. I never majored in Spanish, but I into anthropology and had 3 extended visits to Mexico. I took some Spanish classes in college, but mostly I learned Spanish by using it. Then I changed tracks spent a year in Canada (where I did research in English; I never learned French), and as a professional I know I will travel and do fieldwork in foreign countries (probably Mexico and/or Canada) again in the future. I have friends in my field who have traveled to Africa, Asia, and Europe. A friend of mine's father is a biochemist who has traveled the world doing research. Outside of academia, there are options for travel, too--business and travel agencies and writing and politics and non-government organizations.... really, the possibilities abound. University can be a great time to explore your options, to get a taste of some of the different possibilities. And, if the university doesn't work out for you, there are other options. You could go study to be a beautician. And, no matter what field you go into, you can continue to write.

I wish I had really good advice to help with the bulimia issue. I've never dealt with eating disorders myself, though I've known a number of people who had or were recovering from them, and it's hard. I do know that eating disorders stem in part from a need for control--so it makes sense for it to resurface at a time when you feel like your life is out of your control and you are depressed and generally unhappy. So taking charge of your life and health may help address those issues as well. But it may be worth while to check into counseling. At least here, most universities provide free counseling to students, and it may help you deal with it, even if you only go for a session or two, just enough to get your feet back under you.

*Hugs* Take care of yourself, and I hope that things get better for you soon. Know that I'll be thinking and praying for you.

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I need someone to talk to

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I'm going to be completely honest.

The two months I've spent here have been extremely difficult for me. I constantly feel like I'm at my breaking point, but I can't say that to anyone because I always want to make people proud and I'm scared to death of letting them down. When people ask me how I'm doing, I always say I'm fine. Deep down, I'm not fine. I haven't been fine in months.

Moving here was a big change for me. I was very scared of living alone in a new town, starting school and meeting new people. I was worried that maybe I had made a wrong choice coming here in the first place - I just kind of drifted here, my parents always wanted me to go to University, and ever since I was a child I've been trying my hardest to live up to their expectations. I don't know what I want - or maybe I do, but I've been pushing it aside for so long that I don't even remember what it is. This is making very little sense but I'll try and explain.

The only reason why I applied here to study English philology was that I want to move abroad and be as fluent in English as possible. I'm not at all interested about the history of the English language or linguistics or phonetics or grammar - and basically, that's what the five-year study program consists of. Five years (or at the rate I'm going, even more)! After the first week, I felt like I had made a big mistake. I'm not interested in learning about the language, it's all so theoretic and dull, I just want to speak it. I keep thinking that maybe I should have gone to the beauty school instead. I just thought that everyone expected me to choose Uni over some beauty school, so I came here. And now I'm stuck here.

I've been so unhappy for weeks now. Every morning I have to force myself out of bed, LITERALLY. I don't know what I want to do. I feel like I'm constantly searching my place in the world without any luck. I just want to be happy. I want to get married and have a family and write novels and poems, but it feels as though that's not enough, the society wants much more. It's all about success. I hate that.

I'm sorry this entry is such a mess. It's just that I have all these thoughts inside my head that I haven't told anyone, and I feel like my head is about to explode.

There is something else, too. A couple of weeks before and after I moved here, I had a relapse. And I'm talking about bulimia. I thought I had recovered, there was nothing wrong for over a year. I was so happy last year, healthy, strong, balanced. And suddenly, when I was going into unfamiliar territory, I fell back into old habits. Maybe it was because it was something familiar and 'safe' (it's difficult to explain if you've never experienced it), maybe it was because I was so very sad and lonely and felt like I didn't belong.

It's over now, has been for a month, but I can't stop eating. I have probably gained almost ten pounds while I've been here. I feel exhausted, mentally and physically. I feel like something has to change or I'm going to break.

I just don't know what to do.

Writing this down made me feel a little better. I skipped all my classes yesterday and just stayed in bed crying and writing poems.

It's not supposed to be this hard.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LATIN_LITTLE_LU 11/4/2009 4:44AM

    Having struggled with anorexia and later bulimia since my pre-teens,(was in recovery for few years in between). I understand where your coming from, I totally get the safe feeling you decribed. Im so glad that the same secrecy isnt there though, I tend to relapse for months before admitting it to my self that i have a problem that Im not dealing with. im proud that your able to reach out, and deal with the situation before it escalates. If you havent stop or slowed down yet please look into visiting your school counselors, also look into crisis talk lines in your area, theyre all confidential, we have them in az that you can call in any situation for someone to talk to. Please dont let binging mindlessly be your coping mechanism. Everytime Im dealing with stress or change and start to slip back into old habits. I give my self a wake up call.lately Ive been following a blog called medusa, which has helped me to see what could happen if I dont take control of my life and make healthier choices. http://www.2medusa.com/ I hope since this blog things have been improving. stay strong - lou

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KANSASC 10/6/2009 1:39PM

    I stumbled upon your blog because it showed up on the SATC team page. I don't know you, but I feel compelled to comment. I went back and read more of your blogs... you are a beautiful person. Don't let this place and these ignorant new people get you down. Remember that a LOT of people are in college simply to get away from home and PARTY. They can be mean and ugly and they can make you question your existence. Be strong... and like others below have said... trust in the Lord. You are facing a lot of changes in your life and unfortunately your experiences in your new city have not been the greatest. Just remember that sometimes there are things in life we have to really work for... and the end result is worth the struggle. Keep your head up and pray for guidance. Being honest with the whole SparkWorld about your current depression is a huge step. I will be praying for you
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Comment edited on: 10/6/2009 1:43:09 PM

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SHAZZIEBABES 10/6/2009 1:33PM

    Change is traumatic, I did the same thing when I left school. I moved away from family and friends and as a student could not afford to return home, I knew no-one in a large city and there was times I would cry myself to sleep and cry down the phone to my mother to whom I reversed the charges (she had to pay for the call). I hated those 3 years but it made me a strong person emotionally and very independant. You will get through it, honestly! Are you sure there is no way you can change this course? Would anything maybe help you to enjoy it more, can you confide in a lecturer/teacher? Perhaps you could look for a part-time job maybe to get you out and about meeting different people? It is still early days for you and at least you conquered the bulimia to some extent, give yourself the credit you deserve, you can get through this but you need to start opening up and stop bottling up all these feelings as they are destructive to your mind and body.
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MAKI34 10/6/2009 1:07PM

    Thanks for sharing all this with us! I think that we all reach a point in our lifes when we try to figure out our purpose here in life. I don't know if you believe in God or if you are religious at all, and I don't want to sound preachy but in situations like this you need to find God to find yourself. You need to pray to God and ask him for guidance. If you ask he does answer. He is the almighty and the only one who can truly answer all your questions.

Having said that, I think you need to stop worrying about what the world and society thinks, they are not you and they will not give you happiness. You need to think about what you want and what will make you happy. If going to this school was a big mistake then just fix it. No matter how scary it is, just decide to go where you want to go. Do what you want to do. No matter who you think will feel let down, no matter what this is a chance for you to learn from your mistake and grow. Don't try to live your life for someone else! Live it for you! You don't want to one day be old and regret your whole life! Good Luck with everything!

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LINDACHRISTIE 10/6/2009 11:57AM

    emoticonyou have made the first step. Just take it one at a time and eventually things will all fall into place. Take care.

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LUCYGODDESS 10/6/2009 11:05AM

    Girl I am soo sorry you are going thru this. There is so much we could talk about, but now the chat portion of spark has been blocked. Maybe I could catch you sometime at night on the computer this week. Night, my time that is.

I've had some things going on too. You need to get back to the good old, healthy you & stop the bulimia thing. I don't have to preach to you about that. You know! I'm sure it's hard, but definitely try to eat healthy & keep your health up.

Like I said...maybe I can catch you sometime on the computer at home. Try to hang in there & be the fabulous diva, we all know you are!

OH and have you talked to Tommi? You know, as well as I, if you two are the strong couple you say you are, he would be very supportive of you. You don't have to tell your family or friends....but at least talk to him.

Comment edited on: 10/6/2009 11:07:04 AM

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BLONDEDOG 10/6/2009 10:27AM

    What would make you happy? One small thing? Something that doesn't cost a lot of money or take a long time to do? It can be anything! Start with that. Even if it's something simple like going to a park with pen and notebook and observing all the people who walk by and writing a story about them. Whatever. It's a small step towards making yourself happy, towards pleasing yourself. Then you can take bigger and bigger steps until you're ready to make some substantial changes in your life. Perhaps eventually you can change your major??? I know it doesn't seem possible now, but if you take many small steps towards making yourself happy, then eventually things like that will come easier. Writing this blog was one of those small steps!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! I KNOW YOU CAN! Take a deep breath and write down any 10 things that will make you happy. ANY! Go ahead and do it! Throw caution to the wind, it's just a list after all! Can you work up to any of those?

My favorite quote of all time

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"-Eleanor Rossevelt

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DANITX 10/6/2009 9:59AM

    I understand what you are going through I have lived in Korea, Japan, and Europe---thousands of miles away from family and friends. It is hard at first but what I found myself doing was touring and getting involved...I would ask my co-workers about things to do in their community and they were more than welcome to take me out and show me things. It really does help to open up to someone where you are...it will lift a load off of your shoulders-more than you know. You will be okay because the first step is writing this blog. Let us know what we can do to support you.

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NIXFROMTHEBLOC 10/6/2009 3:37AM

    well done on being so open and honest- that's already a step in the right direction! everything you are saying i can relate to and went through the exact same things and still struggle sometimes with certain things. Also went to university and wasn't even sure why i was there as I knew it wasn't what I wanted but I was just as unsure of what I did want. Needless to say I finished my degree so I'm happy about that but at the time was very confused. Also had a eating disorder at varsity (bulimia) but thank the good Lord I stopped that 7 years ago! Realised if i say i love myself I really have to love myself and my now husband loved me unconditionally so I realised I had to let go of the self destruction. The only advice I can give you- talking from experience is praying and surrendering to the Lord handing power back over to him because I realized I could not do it all on my own. So often we keep up a facade because we are so afraid of disappointing others- but you only have one life and when those people die you still have to live with the choices you made. Emotions can be overwhelming and overeating and throwing up is a way to try and deal with emotions but makes everything worse in the end

I'm here if you want to talk
xx

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LADIPRETENDER 10/6/2009 3:34AM

    Unfortunately, it's not supposed to be anything--that is why I feel that life can be so difficult. There are days I could definitely use an instruction book. Also, I can't tell you what changes you need to make, either mentally or physically, to make things in your own life feel right. I wish that I could shed some light, but I can understand where you are coming from with many of your concerns...I secretly hope that the majority of people have many of these same issues.


I have had problems all my life with compulsive eating and, try as I might to cure it, I find it is something that I do when I am overly stressed or otherwise unsatisfied with my life. Currently I am having similar issues. I have always wanted to go back and finish college, and have been promising myself that someday I would make it back; unfortunately, with a house, a full time + job (40-60 hours a week), and all the issues that go with them, I have already put it off over 6 years. I am beginning to feel that I am stuck in a dead-end job that I will never overcome. However, I try to stay positive and remember that there are always choices even when I feel that I am backed into a corner. I simply have to examine those choices.

Hope this made sense, since it seems to make some sense to my sleep deprived brain. Hang in there because there is always someone to listen and offer what support is possible.


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This is my new home

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I thought it would be nice to post a few pictures of my new home. Remember, it's nothing luxurious since I'm a student with a limited budget - but I think it turned out pretty nice. There are a few things missing, some plants, a few pictures up from the walls. When I have more money I'll focus on getting everything ready.












The windowsills are wide enough for me to sit on! I love that. And I love my little apartment, I think it's beautiful.

Some day when I have time, I'll take my camera and take a few pictures of the city and the building where I live.

I've had a lovely Sunday. I went shopping (AGAIN; I know, I know, I shouldn't. AND I won't, I promised myself to take it easy from now on. It's just so comforting to shop especially now that I feel lonely all the time and miss my family and Tommi. But I know it doesn't help so I'll stop.). Tomorrow my lectures finally start for real and the tutoring period is over. I'm so ready!

Hope you're all enjoying your weekend!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYGODDESS 9/17/2009 12:49PM

    Love it, love it, girl! Looks very nice inside. I can't believe you have that lime green stuff in your kitchen. I have some Tupperware lime green towels I could give you that don't go in mine anymore. Oh well...if only we were closer.


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NISSANGIRL 9/9/2009 2:56PM

    Your apartment is beautiful, you did a great job with it. Love your windows and the color. Thanks for posting!

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MAKI34 9/9/2009 1:46PM

    I love your apartment. It's super cute, and I love the white! I've always wanted to have windows like that! Lucky you! And I totally understand the shopping thing. I can't control myself sometimes either, I have to atleast walk out with something. Gum anything! LOL!

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SAASHA17 8/30/2009 8:24PM

    Hey u have a lovely place..dont worry once u get buys, things will be easier..I used to shop around when i was in grad school too..makes time go faster and makes u feel better...nothing wrong in that...

take care

Manasa

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ZANNACHAN 8/30/2009 7:45PM

    You're apartment is beautiful! Thanks for sharing the pictures.

Classes starting will be good, I think--they will keep you busy and you will have the chance to meet a lot of new people.

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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 8/30/2009 2:17PM

    Your apartment is looking great. You've made it yours, and will continue to do so. Enjoy it, for it looks very inviting, peaceful and relaxing!

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CAROLJ94941 8/30/2009 12:03PM

    Your apartment looks lovely!

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About fitting in and letting go

Saturday, August 29, 2009

So, here's the deal. I consider myself an open and fun person. I am certainly not the loudest, the most adventurous or spontaneous, or the most talkative person among strangers or people I don't yet know very well. But I'm neither shy nor quiet. I've always had lots of friends and I have always been rather popular among my class. I don't want to sound like a big narcist but I just think I'm a nice person to hang out with.

Turns out, the people in my tutor group - including my tutor - do not seem to think so. Let me elaborate: ever since the tutor meeting started last week, there have been parties all the time. Parties that include lots of drinking and going to bars and pubs and last till morning. Now, that's not really my thing. I don't like drinking. I don't even like partying that much, at least not in packed bars or night clubs. I'd rather spend time with my friends at their place or something. I don't know if this is because I'm engaged and don't feel the need to meet new people (men). There is also an underlying reason for why I don't get drunk: I don't want to drink, because in the past, I have found myself drinking too much and too often. I have a very addictive personality, so I figure it's better to stay away from alcohol altogether. Anyway, last Thursday we were having another tutor meeting. I have tried to be open, I have went up to people to make small talk. I've been trying, really. At one point, I realized that they didn't remember my name. There are only 12 people in one tutor group so it's not that many. It hurt. They were all asking me why I hadn't been to any of their parties and going on and on about a big party that would be held at one of the girls' place that night. I decided to go, just so that they would shut up and stop whining, just so that they might remember my name. Just so that I might happen to find a friend.

It was a disaster. When I arrived to the party, there were only a few people there at that time. It was still a little early. I said hi to my tutor when I walked in, and GET THIS: she looked at me, and then looked away, didn't say a thing. I don't know what her problem is but she just flat out doesn't like me. She spent the entire evening laughing with the other girls from our group but when I said something, she completely ignored it. As did everyone else. I felt like I was invisible. At one point, I almost started laughing, it was so ridiculous and completely absurd. When I said something a million times, nobody heard me (and I shouted, literally). When the boy sitting next to me said something, they immediately heard him. When they decided to play a board game, I shouted on the top of my lungs many times that I wanted to play as well. Nobody heard/cared. Finally, I was invited to play, but it turned out I didn't have a pair. Someone asked: "Does anyone want to be Anne-Maija's pair?" Silence. IT FELT LIKE A HUGE JOKE! Like I had some kind of a contagious disease! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO THEM? I don't get it!

I left the party early.

Oh, and also, I found out that my tutor is just an evil person. While we were there, she kept making fun of people who hadn't shown up at the party. There's a very sweet woman on our group who doesn't drink, and she kept mocking her openly to others. Can you believe that?? She is supposed to be a mature adult! Although, she is a year younger than me which feels a little odd.

While I was walking home that night, I realized something. I don't care if I don't fit in to their group. I don't care that I'm not like them. I'm glad my friends aren't like them: I'm glad they are considerate, kind and mature. I'm glad I don't drink because alcohol just makes people act in ugly ways. (I mean, I do have a glass of wine occasionally - that to me is completely natural, but I don't get wasted drinking booze or whatever, that's not my thing). I'm not going to worry about why they don't think of me as their friend. I don't care. I know I'll meet people here in Turku that are like me. People I will eventually come to call friends.

I'm better off.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYGODDESS 9/17/2009 1:03PM

    Awwwww....Well all I have to say is they don't know what they are missing. I haven't even met you & always have a blast chatting with you, either via instant messaging or emails.

I know how you feel though, so you aren't alone. I always try to be bubbly & fun and I am sometimes in situations where people aren't happy unless they are trying to make you unhappy. I have decided it just isn't worth it. Not everyone is gonna like me and you know what...that is their right! I do not have to surround myself with toxic people like that. I was around a lot of negativity when I was younger as a child, and now that I am an adult, I CHOOSE not to allow that kind of energy into my life now!

You will be fine, girl.....wish I were there to give ya a hug and go out for a nice lunch & some talk.
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CAROLJ94941 8/30/2009 12:10PM

    How mature you are. And how immature they are (especially the tutor). I'm sure you'll find people that you can enjoy on campus once your classes start.

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IUHRYTR 8/30/2009 12:39AM

    You have a good attitude. Fill your life with positive people who are going to encourage and support you. -- Lou

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SAASHA17 8/29/2009 5:19PM

    Hey that sucks!! esp when ppl behave like in Junior high!! how mean how imamture can they be..I totally can relate to ur feeling and i am glad u came out of it positive...u dnt need such kids to be ur friends....u r way better than them..

Take it easy and have fun!!

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ZANNACHAN 8/29/2009 11:50AM

    Wow, what a truly awful experience. I'd agree with you--who cares if you fit in with them? They sound mean and rude; it sounds like you are better off without them. And you'll definitely be able to find friends once classes start.

I'm like you; I'm not really into the party scene. I mean, I drink occasionally, but I don't drink excessively. I don't particularly like large, loud groups of people, especially when I don't know very many people there. I prefer smaller gatherings where you can talk and actually get to know someone. But at least my discomfort was always in my head, because I felt out of place or overwhelmed or too shy to talk to people (I can be, I'm afraid, pretty shy in person, until I get to know you well enough to feel comfortable talking to you). I've never been actually ignored!

It can be intimating, getting to know people in a new city. I transferred as a junior to the college I got my undergrad degree from, and it was hard making friends. I'm just not someone who makes friends easily. The saving grace for me is that I had just joined the SCA (that medieval re-enactment society I am in) and being in the SCA means you have an instant connection anywhere you go that also has a group. It might be worth while for you to look into any groups or clubs with common interests.

But you'll be fine. You are a friendly and smart and definitely likable; you'll be able to find friends, people who are worth spending time with.

Comment edited on: 8/29/2009 11:51:29 AM

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